Silicon Valley: Two In The Box
May 2, 2016 8:46 AM - Season 3, Episode 2 - Subscribe

Richard explores the flexibility in his new role as CTO at Pied Piper under CEO Jack Barker, while Jared and Erlich wrestle with landlord issues. Meanwhile, Gilfoyle and Dinesh discover all the perks of the new Pied Piper space.

Additionally, Richard's doctor finds Richard so healthy he'd guess he were pregnant if it weren't a medical impossibility. And a paradoxical edict from Gavin Belson inadvertently spurs the Nucleus team to (possibly) crack middle-out. Also, there is an extended horses-having-sex sequence.
posted by joan cusack the second (40 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
So, that's a thing that happened.
posted by Pendragon at 9:01 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


Let's see if GoT can top that.
posted by Pendragon at 9:01 AM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Man, I knew something was going to be problematic with Jack, but I didn't have any inkling it would be so much the banality-of-evil mode... of course he's going to be phoning in any commitment to the company and try to strip-mine any value he can. That speech about how stock is their product was confusing, though; I get the principle of the statement, but they don't have stock yet, right?
posted by psoas at 9:54 AM on May 2, 2016


psoas, I think Pop Culture Happy Hour hit the nail on the head when they pointed out that Jack Barker's only business accomplishment of record is taking over a company and selling it for more money than it was worth when he took over. His singular talent is increasing the perceived value of a company, not actually running it well.
posted by joan cusack the second at 10:00 AM on May 2, 2016


they don't have stock yet, right?

No, but they don't have any other product either. Richard's end goal is having a stable company with a world-changing consumer product. I'm sure if he could have he'd keep the company private and in his hands. Jack's end goal is to sell the company, probably to the public which would explain his use of the word stock. There's no way Silicon Valley won't eventually dip its toes into the world of IPOs.
posted by Green With You at 10:12 AM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Jack Barker's only business accomplishment of record is taking over a company and selling it for more money than it was worth when he took over

How dare you marginalize The Conjoined Triangles of Success.

"That's real rind!"
posted by rhizome at 11:17 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


I think "stock" was used as a narrative device to not confuse the general public with startup financials jargon and whatnot.

I'm actually surprised they even mentioned stuff like "post money valuation" in previous seasons, even though they kinda went hand-wavey with the rest of it.
posted by sideshow at 12:49 PM on May 2, 2016


I guffawed at the throwaway gag where a picture of Dinesh was used for "terrorist" in the sales montage at the Pied Piper meeting. Poor Dinesh.
posted by Justinian at 1:18 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Worse, he was just labeled as "foreigner."

joan: I hadn't heard the latest PCHH and am really curious to hear what they had to say! It's interesting how well that podcast dissects business and workplace issues, considering it's not their stated focus. (I'm especially grateful to Linda Holmes from an episode a year or two ago for pointing out that Chris Traeger on Parks & Rec was a bad boss, because it shed some light on my current work situation!)
posted by psoas at 2:36 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


psoas: I'll have to go back and find that episode about Chris Traeger because I missed it and really could use some perspective! But yeah, PCHH is pretty great in general, and I really enjoyed listening to them talk about Silicon Valley, especially about how it doesn't do a great job with women but is still really funny.
posted by joan cusack the second at 2:43 PM on May 2, 2016


When the Hooli dude is having his middle-out brainstorm he briefly makes the jerking-off-four-guys-at-once gesture from the season 1 finale. But to him its a Nordic-Track gesture.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 5:13 PM on May 2, 2016 [8 favorites]


Can or does anybody want to confirm that those were Thoroughbreds? My instincts say no, but I'm not an expert. (And yes, I realize that the overlap for equine experts and tech culture aficionados is likely very, very tiny.)
posted by sardonyx at 6:52 PM on May 2, 2016


God damn, that horse scene.

God damn.
posted by Itaxpica at 6:54 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


It just kept going, didn't it. Best part is how on-the-nose it is for the conversation they were having.
posted by rhizome at 7:02 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


Can or does anybody want to confirm that those were Thoroughbreds?

While there are indeed registered Thoroughbreds that are pure white, they are a distinct minority and not known as race winners. This article claims, "no white thoroughbred has ever won a stakes race in North America" which I'm not motivated enough to verify. In any case, at the time I thought that was sort of an Easter egg, that the producers made a deliberate choice* to show Jack was paying a lot in stud fees for a horse that's not actually a race winner.

*However, to get even more horse-nerdy about this, the stud in last night's episode is actually a gray horse with a white coat. One knows this because his dong was black, not pink. There's a so-so record of winning gray racehorses and as the gray coat gene requires a gray parent: if the parent horse isn't a winner, it's not going to get bred, thus the relative dearth of gray Thoroughbreds as compared to say, bay Thoroughbreds.

The More You Know ♒★
posted by jamaro at 8:56 PM on May 2, 2016 [15 favorites]


We might be able to narrow it down even further: are any gray sires ever worth $150K/shot?
posted by rhizome at 9:15 PM on May 2, 2016


The stallion's colouring was the first thing that gave me pause. I wasn't sure if he was white or greyed out to white. The colour of his tail seemed to indicate he was more white than grey--it didn't have the dark hairs or that yellowish sheen I tend to associate with faded greys. I wasn't aware of the penis-colouring means of identification, so that's new for me.

The other thing that had me questioning the breed was the build of the mare. I know a breeding mare won't have the same physique as a racing filly (or mare) but she just didn't seem to be put together correctly. The chest seemed too heavy or incorrectly shaped. Her front legs seemed a bit off and the shoulder not deep enough, although admittedly, she wasn't in the ideal pose to judge angles properly. I'd also say she was a little bit short-backed too, and something about the way her neck attached to her head at the throat latch also bugged me, but again she wasn't posing for her conformation picture.

And yes, while some of you thought that scene went on for far to long, I ended up pausing and rewinding to get a better look at the horses. I'm not quite sure what that says about me as a viewer.
posted by sardonyx at 9:20 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


are any gray sires ever worth $150K/shot?

Native Dancer, way more than $150K.
posted by jamaro at 9:31 PM on May 2, 2016


Rhizome. I've been running down the list of greys I can think of, and right now Macho Uno seems to be coming in at the top of the list, but I'm sure I'm missing a few bigger names, and he's nowhere near that price.

Ah, knew I was forgetting some important names. A session with Tappit is worth double what Action Jack paid.
posted by sardonyx at 9:32 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


jamaro,
The key to that sentence is "stakes race." Admittedly Jack wouldn't pay that kind of cash for a non-stakes winning stud, but there have been race winners registered as white. Unless, of course, Jack is one of those "crazy colour" breeders (slang from a long-dead newsgroup) who is trying to breed the ultimate white race horse, but I can't see that fitting in with his make-money business persona.
posted by sardonyx at 9:55 PM on May 2, 2016


Sardonyx, I think we're beating this derail like a, well, you know.
posted by jamaro at 10:25 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


Just to bring it around, how about the interpretation that Jack is a doof who doesn't know horses? :)
posted by rhizome at 11:49 PM on May 2, 2016


Sardonyx, I think we're beating this derail like a, well, you know.

Maybe, but reading along, I am in awe!
posted by gladly at 6:21 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dinesh and Gilfoyle would be having this exact conversation, you know.
posted by Etrigan at 6:41 AM on May 3, 2016 [11 favorites]


Goddamn, I love Metafilter.
posted by thecaddy at 6:54 AM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]


Pied Piper Newest Logo on Brand New
posted by kittydelsol at 7:52 AM on May 3, 2016


Mike Judge:
It's funny, I actually have an email from [senior vp of comedy programming] Amy Gravitt where she said, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we have more screen time with the horses having sex?" She actually asked for more sex [Laughs.] She was right though, so we put it behind some more shots than we originally had. You might as well go all the way, right?
From an interview in Hollywood Reporter, via Birth.Movies.Death.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 8:13 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]


Well to bring this back on topic again, the new Pied Piper page is up and sure enough the new corporate philosophy and approach is evident.

Pied Piper isn’t some bloated corporation with a pretentious mission statement about “making the world a better place.”

We are a rapidly growing, fully business-facing compression company that is laser-focused on building the most cutting-edge appliance that the data-storage-and-backup world has ever seen.
In this way, we hope to have a positive impact on the planet.


There is even a shot of the hardware solution that enamored the engineering team, not to mention a new org chart with the sales team front and centre.

Normally I can't be bothered with TV-related websites, but there is something about the PP and Hooli ones that have me checking back frequently. It's probably because I've spend too much time during my day job looking at exactly those same kinds of tech company websites in real life, but I find it fascinating to watch how the PR team updates these ones.
posted by sardonyx at 8:24 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


Dinesh and Gilfoyle would be having this exact conversation, you know.
posted by Etrigan at 6:41 AM on May 3


Can I be Gilfoyle? Pretty please? I've even got my Canuck credentials.
posted by sardonyx at 8:26 AM on May 3, 2016


I wish you guys would stop talking about the show and go back to the horse sex discussion, because that was seriously fascinating.


Also, uh. That Hooli site, a fake website for a fake company that overtly does nothing, is, in terms of both design and content, about 500x better than the website of my actual company.


On a completely unrelated note do any of you know of anyone who's hiring?
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 9:19 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well, since it was requested...

Here's what $150,000 bought today in terms of stud fee: Zenyatta bred to Medaglia d'Oro. Although he's a bay, not a grey.

Since I mentioned Tapit above (dumb typo in the earlier post), here's some thoughts on his influence in this year's upcoming Kentucky Derby.
posted by sardonyx at 9:46 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hate to bring attention away from the horse-penis discussion, but: The Conjoined Triangles of Success. Which is just stupid enough to be laughable, but still cringingly of-a-kind with the geometric-idea management fads I've been forced to mouth for our leadership.
posted by psoas at 12:02 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]


It's frickin' perfect, and just banal enough of a name to never be popular in the SV universe, too.
posted by rhizome at 12:10 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's right up there with magic quadrants.

It's the little details like that that make the show. And checking out his webpage bio, it comes from "What Color is Your Hypotenuse?" which is one of the 500 best business books of the 21st century according to the Airport Booksellers Association.

posted by sardonyx at 12:26 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]


My take on the horse scene was that it was a joke about all the superfluous sex & nudity on HBO and how so far this show hasn't done any of that. My hubby felt like the joke was made the first time we saw them and then got ruined when they kept cutting back to it but I felt like just showing it once wouldn't have been much of a joke at all. The joke was that they showed it way too much. You could say "Maybe I'm giving them too much credit" but the writers on this show are pretty smart. It tickles me when they throw around all the concepts and buzzwords I hear all day at work as that is a first for me. I never thought I'd see that in a world of only doctors, lawyers, chefs, and cops allowed in workplace shows.
posted by bleep at 9:11 PM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]


I think the repetition was to drive home the turn of the plot happening at the same time. After all, like two horses copulating, Jack and Richard need each other.
posted by rhizome at 11:47 AM on May 5, 2016


Like the masturbating monkey, it's also delighting in 'juvenile' scatalogical humor. Remember, this is the creator of Beevus and Butthead.

I delighted in it against my will.
posted by Drowsy Philosopher at 2:38 PM on May 5, 2016


can I just talk about how unsurprised I am and yet how much I love jared's renter issues and the fact that he's slept in garage corners and boxes and his whole 'I just think of my skeleton as living in my body so I'm always home' bit and basically how jared is my ray of sunshine and how much I love him
posted by suddenly, and without warning, at 12:03 PM on May 9, 2016 [3 favorites]


I would pay cash money for a dual sequel series where Jared joins up with Richard from Veep to form a political consulting firm.
posted by Etrigan at 12:08 PM on May 9, 2016


Heh I think wrote something like that in a Veep thread.
posted by bleep at 5:41 PM on May 9, 2016


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