FanFare

Questions arise when Senator Stoddard (James Stewart) attends the funeral of a local man named Tom Doniphon (John Wayne) in a small Western town. Flashing back, we learn Doniphon saved Stoddard, then a lawyer, when he was roughed up by a crew of outlaws terrorizing the town, led by Liberty Valance (Lee Marvin). As the territory's safety hung in the balance, Doniphon and Stoddard, two of the only people standing up to him, proved to be very important, but different, foes to Valance. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown on Jan 31, 2023 - 9 comments

In the Southwest during the Civil War, a mysterious stranger, Joe (Clint Eastwood), and a Mexican outlaw, Tuco (Eli Wallach), form an uneasy partnership -- Joe turns in the bandit for the reward money, then rescues him just as he is being hanged. When Joe's shot at the noose goes awry during one escapade, a furious Tuco tries to have him murdered. The men re-team abruptly, however, to beat out a sadistic criminal (Lee Van Cleef) and the Union army and find $20,000 that a soldier has buried in the desert. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown on Oct 11, 2022 - 9 comments

Re-rewatch! Timothy Van Patten and Lee Van Cleef are the most unlikely ninjas in Japanese exoticism history. They travel the country in typical 70s TV show fashion, which fits because this is actually two episodes of The Master. There's a hamster, they live in a van, they solve the problems of the people they meet. It's not very realistic. Previously and again. Not the episode you expected? Look inside for the reason for that. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Aug 20, 2020 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Peter Graves tries to convince Lee Van Cleef not to help an evil carrot from Venus to take over the minds of our authority figures, turning them against us. Hm. Has anyone checked the White House for diabolical vegetables? Previously "He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature…" [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 16, 2020 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Some doof is traveling across the country, in that way that loners in 70s shows often do, accompanied both by a hamster and a master ninja that is teaching him the ninja-ey arts along the way. The ninja, inexplicably, is played by Lee Van Cleef. The "movie" is actually two episodes of the show "The Master" strung together. The episode, of MST3K, is a good example of the kind of thing that made the show so popular. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 3, 2019 - 3 comments

A town Marshal, despite the disagreements of his newlywed bride and the townspeople around him, must face a gang of deadly killers alone at high noon when the gang leader, an outlaw he sent up years ago, arrives on the noon train. [more inside]
posted by MoonOrb on Jul 9, 2018 - 1 comment

In 1997, when the US President crashes into Manhattan, now a giant maximum security prison, a convicted bank robber is sent in for a rescue. [more inside]
posted by MoonOrb on Mar 10, 2016 - 14 comments

A police lieutenant is ordered to stop investigating deadly crime boss Mr. Brown, because he hasn't been able to get any hard evidence against him. He then goes after Brown's girlfriend, who despises him, for information instead. Full movie here on YouTube. [more inside]
posted by MoonOrb on Mar 3, 2016 - 1 comment

"The 2-man army fights terror from the sky! Max and the Master storm a mountain fortress to rescue a beautiful hostage!" The unlikeliest ninja, former Western star Lee Van Cleef, again teams up with the unlikeliest ninja apprentice, Timothy Van Patton, to help a fledgling union and thwart terrorists. It's two more episodes of failed action-adventure series The Master. Generally in those cases where a movie's sequel is riffed it's less impressive than the first time, but I like this one. It contains a classic sketch, the one where Tom Servo pairs detectives with hypothetical pets. This is the final episode of Season Three. YouTube. Premiered January 25, 1992. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Oct 1, 2015 - 7 comments

"The Master Is Here! He's the supreme warrior. Even his eyes can kill you. His student is the supreme heartthrob. His eyes can melt you." A goofy kid who lives out of his van with his pet hamster is taken on as apprentice by an aging American ninja master played, amazingly, by Lee Van Cleef, and who's back in the US looking for his lost daughter. They travel the country in a manner not unlike Richard Kimble or David Banner. This is another of those direct-to-video "movies" that are actually episodes of a TV show stitched together. This time though, despite the name, it's an American show, "The Master," from 1984, and it's from Film Ventures International. You might think it'd make for a bad episode, but this is another true classic, thanks no doubt to the writing talents and obsessive pop culture knowledge of one Frank Conniff. A good jumping-on episode. YouTube (1h33m) Premiered January 11, 1992. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Sep 16, 2015 - 12 comments

(1956, Black & White, Sci-Fi, Venus, Carrot Monster, Roger Corman) "Every Man Its Prisoner... Every Woman Its Slave!" A carrot from Venus enlists the aid of scientist Lee Van Cleef in order to save mankind, through the strategm of attacking them with string-borne, mind-controlling bats. Hero Peter Graves reminds us at the end that Van Cleef learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature.... With the short Snow Thrills, about winter sports. Shields up, red alert! In addition to containing Peter Graves, Lee Van Cleef, and the most insufferable ending monologue in MST3K's history, it's the first movie we've gotten from our heroes' long-recurring nemesis Roger Corman! YouTube (1h37m) First shown August 8, 1991. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 2, 2015 - 11 comments