BoJack Horseman: Feel-good Story
October 30, 2019 10:21 AM - Season 6, Episode 3 - Subscribe

Girl Croosh sends Diane on the road with rugged cameraman Guy and her video segments are climbing the social metrics ladder, but she balks when they ask her to produce more feel-good stories. "What an exciting, empowering time for you!"
posted by filthy light thief (5 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I had trouble picking one or two lines from this exchange, so here's a chunk:

Mr. Whitewhale: I don't know what kind of video you're putting together, but I wanted to let you know I don't mind.
Diane: You're not gonna stop us.
Mr. Whitewhale: I don't want to stop you, I just said that. See, when you put out stories about us being "evil" or "callous" or whoever the bad guy in Harry Potter is, people think our business is uncompromised by morality and our stock goes up.
Diane: So, it doesn't bother your shareholders that one of your employees died in a work-related accident?
Mr. Whitewhale: What accident?
Diane: Matt Minnowman's body was found in your warehouse.
Mr. Whitewhale: Oh, him, sure! But that was no accident. I killed him.
Diane: What?
Mr. Whitewhale: I murdered him!
Diane: Like "murdered" murdered him?
Mr. Whitewhale: Well, I didn't murder of crows him. He took too many bathroom breaks and encouraged the other employees to take bathroom breaks as well.
Diane: And you're not worried it's going to get out that you killed an employee? Like in the video we're shooting right now?
Mr. Whitewhale: Didn't you hear? Congress just passed a bill legalizing murder if you're rich.
Diane: No, they didn't - Oh, my God, they did! - What? Hold on. Just because it passed the House - doesn't mean the Senate will
Mr. Whitewhale: Really, Diane?
Diane: Okay, but the president could still veto --
Mr. Whitewhale: Really, Diane?
Diane: All right, sure, but the Supreme Court... Okay, I get it.
Mr. Whitewhale: Look, don't take it so hard. If you wanna do something about it, just make a billion dollars and murder me!

(And then there's the introduction to the video: "The Whitewhale Way was developed by Ezekiel Whitewhale, who started small with a modest petroleum refinery he inherited from his father.")
posted by filthy light thief at 10:36 AM on October 30, 2019 [7 favorites]

"well technically they bought fuddruckers and merged it with dow chemical to create a new media venture called spronk! spronk acquired univision which will incorporate girl crush into the gizmodo-branded mist of advertorial."
posted by JimBennett at 1:34 PM on October 30, 2019 [6 favorites]

This post was created the day of the mass resignation of the writing and editorial staff of Deadspin after Gizmodo management fired their interim editor in chief for refusing to "stick to sports." Navigating journalistic ethics and integrity in the face of capitalism is an evergreen topic of course, but this felt particularly timely, almost uncanny.
posted by nequalsone at 8:45 AM on November 7, 2019 [2 favorites]

The Every Animal Girl story made me feel included in the shoutout to all the 35 year olds who were into American Girl and were sad about what Mattel did when they bought it.
posted by bleep at 10:47 AM on November 24, 2019

Also I loved Diane's Chicago coat. It looks like real shearling and so cozy and warm. I would have loved a coat like that when I was living in Chicago. I could only afford cheap-ass parkas that did NOTHING. NOTHING.
posted by bleep at 11:41 AM on November 24, 2019 [2 favorites]

« Older Movie: Moonrise Kingdom...   |  BoJack Horseman: Surprise!... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments