2025 - The World enslaved by a Virus (2021)
January 24, 2022 11:11 AM - Subscribe

Opening exposition: It's 2025. The world as we have known in 2020 does not exist anymore. The virus changed the world. Communism is all over the place. A global state developed, meetings are illegal, travelling is illegal, and Christianity is illegal.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints (32 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
It's...bad. Not good bad like The Room. Bad bad, like Manos. You get to watch a character wake up, pour a bowl of cereal, eat it, and then read the note from her mom that's meant to advance the plot.

A character says she used to be a nurse, but "then, you know, the virus came and I had to quit". She never follows up with why she had to quit.

Another character says "I used to be a Marine, but then they wanted us to recite the new constitution and stuff."

People look directly at the camera. Rooms are devoid of furniture. Lighting looks borrowed from your local middle school's haunted house.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:27 AM on January 24 [9 favorites]


"How prophetic," he thought as, during the highest surge yet in a pandemic that has to date killed 85,000 people in America, he walked into a crowded supermarket where no one was wearing a mask
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:37 AM on January 24 [3 favorites]


The scary thing is a significant number of people will watch this and feel it is pure prophecy.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:10 PM on January 24 [2 favorites]


A character says she used to be a nurse, but "then, you know, the virus came and I had to quit". She never follows up with why she had to quit.

Pretty sure I've read about her in the Herman Cain Awards subreddit.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:24 PM on January 24 [6 favorites]


Communism is all over the place. A global state developed,

Is the point yhat it’s a paradise, but some people don’t notice?
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:39 PM on January 24 [9 favorites]


So, this was earnestly done but everyone involved are so Dunning-Kruger and so deeply in delusions of persecution that they are unembarrassed to release this?
posted by porpoise at 3:56 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]


It's...bad. Not good bad like The Room. Bad bad, like Manos.

Okay, but is it bad like those 1970s Thief in the Night movies bad? Because for some reason I love those absolutely terrible movies.

This is such my brand of awful that I can't believe it came out a year ago and I'm just learning that it exists.

meetings are illegal

Please?????
posted by General Malaise at 4:02 PM on January 24 [9 favorites]


I...I honestly thought this was just a funny meme on Facebook, not an actual movie. OMFG.
posted by briank at 5:57 PM on January 24 [3 favorites]


Communism is all over the place. A global state developed, meetings are illegal, travelling is illegal, and Christianity is illegal.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
posted by dumbland at 7:56 PM on January 24 [29 favorites]


I spent more time than I should have today scrolling through the Facebook albums of the cast members I could find. Everything is very on brand.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 8:18 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]


Another character says "I used to be a Marine, but then they wanted us to recite the new constitution and stuff."


To be fair, the O.G. constitution is 4,543 words and would take an hour or so to recite. I don’t know how many of you have spoken for an hour solid, but it can be a chore.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:37 AM on January 25 [8 favorites]


I...I honestly thought this was just a funny meme on Facebook, not an actual movie. OMFG.

I think I remarked a decade or so back that actually releasing the movie Snakes On a Plane only hurt the brand. It was in its element as an online meme.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:39 AM on January 25 [5 favorites]


> "Communism is all over the place."

"What is that? Lurking in the trees?"
"Oh my God, Billy, I think it's... COMMUNISM!"
RAAAR!
"Run!"

"Psst! Hey, kid, would you like to buy a drug?"
"Wow, mister, this tastes amazing! What is it?"
"It's COMMUNISM! And now you're addicted to it!"
"NOOOOOO!"

Yes, children. Remember that COMMUNISM can be anywhere. Swimming in the water you drink. Flying through the air you breathe. It can be anything... or anyone. Your dog might be COMMUNISM. Your lover might be COMMUNISM. Your parents might be COMMUNISM.

Always beware, lest COMMUNISM become...

YOU!
posted by kyrademon at 6:08 AM on January 25 [12 favorites]


From IMDB:

"A group of Christians are trying to overthrow the World Government by spray-painting the ichthys on fallen leaves. They meet a bitcoin miner who helps them mail out DVDs of sermons. They are then caught and executed."

Uh... what?
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:38 AM on January 25 [17 favorites]


A character says she used to be a nurse, but "then, you know, the virus came and I had to quit". She never follows up with why she had to quit.

She took an arrow to the knee?
posted by jazon at 7:43 AM on January 25 [12 favorites]


[Bill Clinton sideways fist with thumb on top emphasis gesture]

I. love. this. thread.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:44 AM on January 25 [10 favorites]


This is available on the Cinema HD app. And if ever there was a case where you might want to watch something but definitely would not want anyone involved with it to be paid in any way, this would be it.

The guy who made this congratulated his wife on her 18th birthday, not long after noting they had been together for four years.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:50 AM on January 25 [15 favorites]


"A group of Christians are trying to overthrow the World Government by spray-painting the ichthys on fallen leaves. They meet a bitcoin miner who helps them mail out DVDs of sermons. They are then caught and executed."

This is a truthful summary.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 8:33 AM on January 25 [1 favorite]


In case the "Um, what?" reaction to the summary was genuine uncertainty:

"A group of Christians are trying to overthrow the World Government by spray-painting the ichthys on fallen leaves....."

The ichthys is the formal name for the "Jesus fish" symbol.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:12 AM on January 25


I use closed captions and I noticed that whoever did the close captioning didn't capitalize the C in Christian and I can't help but think they did that on purpose.
posted by Stanczyk at 11:42 AM on January 25 [8 favorites]


The ichthys is the formal name for the "Jesus fish" symbol.

Fun fact: ΙΧΘΥΣ is the common abbreviation for "Ἰησοῦς Χριστός, Θεοῦ Υἱός, Σωτήρ", (Iēsous Khristos Theou Huios, Sōtēr) or "Jesus Christ, son of God, Saviour" and ΙΧΘΥΣ (or in the lower case ἰχθύς) is the classical Greek word for fish, which is part of the reason why Christians have historically used the fish as a symbol on the back of their ancient and classical Dodges and Buicks.

I am told the minimalist design (two overlapping sections of arc) dates back to the days when they were still facing lions in the arena and were persecuted. If you wanted to gingerly feel out a stranger for their affiliation, you could idly scratch the toe of your sandal in a quarter-circle through the dust. If the other party wanted to signal he got what you were on about, he could subtly complete the fish icon. This may be legend, though.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:04 PM on January 25 [7 favorites]


In case the "Um, what?" reaction to the summary was genuine uncertainty:

No, just... gobsmacked befuddlement about a story that seems like it was written by a damaged AI.

It was the bitcoin part that really threw me. Also... why do they need help mailing things?
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:35 PM on January 25 [4 favorites]


Oh man, from the Story DirtyOldTown linked:

Trolls aware of Wesely and Isabelle’s history contributed to the now-barren trivia section of Wesely’s IMDb page with false statements referencing pedophilia.

“50% of the film had to be shot by a different team of camera operators due to filming occurring within 500 feet of an elementary school,” one statement falsely claimed.

“Profits from this film were donated to charity, the majority of which went to the legal defense of Ghislaine Maxwell and the foundation of the Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Pageant Academy,” another false statement said.


I mean, I'm not a fan of spreading false information, but that's pretty funny.
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:37 PM on January 25 [9 favorites]


Also... why do they need help mailing things?

Presumably mail is also illegal in the global communist future.
posted by Naberius at 2:24 PM on January 25


I'd bet that much of the funding for this came from ill-gotten crypto gains so it makes sense that "bitcoin miner" would end up being an important character.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:57 PM on January 25 [3 favorites]


Honestly consorting with a crypto miner being an executable offence seems appropriate punishment to me
posted by Merus at 8:06 AM on January 26 [5 favorites]


I like where they say there is now just one world language, which is a) truly impressive to pull off in five years, and b) very fortunate for the star that this language is heavily German-accented English.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:14 AM on January 26 [7 favorites]


Presumably mail is also illegal in the global communist future.

Right, but if there is no mail, then they aren't mailing things, they are delivering them, or transporting them or something like that. I just find the description amusing because it makes it sound like he's helping write addresses on labels or carrying packages to the post office.
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:37 PM on January 26 [3 favorites]


My assumption is he waves his hands like a magician and says "BLOCKCHAIN!"

Then the packages appear where they are supposed to be.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:42 PM on January 26 [7 favorites]


It's...bad. Not good bad like The Room. Bad bad, like Manos.

True enough, but there are some genuinely brilliant bits with my favourite character The Sergeant, who loves to fondle large toy trains and deliver iconic speeches.

I don’t remember any mentions of bitcoin, but they do have a hacker who really struggles with the English dialogue so her conversion scene just happens in German. Her main hack is to “get a list of all the Christians from the police”. Presumably she does the technical set up for the World's Most Boring Livestream. She may have a hand in their successful scheme to mail 100,000 DVDs to China, but I might have drifted off at that point.

The ending is also brilliant, since the final scene is {{{{spoiler}}}} the Sergeant’s daughter shooting the protagonist in the head, then quick cut to a card reading THIS FILM IS DEDICATED TO OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, then bloopers.

It’s a wild ride. And if this and TikTok Xians are anything to go by, wow are modern fundamentalists so desperate to be persecuted they’ll happily churn out weirdly inept media to prove it.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 12:57 PM on January 26 [9 favorites]


I found one youtube review here; I'm not that charmed by the reviewer, but it was my first glimpse into this, and it sounds gloriously batshit. I will likely not watch the movie proper but I can already tell that watching other reaction videos and reviews is gonna be FUUUUUUN.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:29 AM on February 4 [1 favorite]


When they first show the hacker's computer, it's running what looks like a Bitcoin mining program. It's got a Bitcoin symbol and an animated loop of a pick-axe.
posted by RobotHero at 8:34 PM on February 5


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