Reply All: #63 1000 Brimes
April 27, 2016 6:51 PM - Subscribe

Email Debt Forgiveness Day is April 30th. To observe the holiday, Alex, PJ, and Phia talk to three people with plans to send delinquent messages.
posted by primethyme (10 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
In the first story, I feel like reaching out would be a mistake. It's nice that he wants to explain why he was a jerk, but getting back in touch with an old girlfriend (even if it was "just" a high school romance) after both of you are married seems like it's fraught with peril. I think he has a lot more to lose than he has to gain.
posted by primethyme at 6:54 PM on April 27, 2016

I disagree, primethyme. I think it sounds sweet!

I loved the library desk story but it sounded...suspicious? I'm not in the habit of accusing people of lying about stories, but it sounded a little too rom-com to me.

Also, ugh, the poor girl who lost her mother. She sounds like she's carrying so much guilt!
posted by radioamy at 12:25 PM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

I want to believe the library desk story. I'm not sure I do, but I really want to.
posted by primethyme at 12:49 PM on April 28, 2016

I agree with you primethyme. It felt to me like he was trying to assuage his own guilt. Also he said "he was the happiest he's ever been" with her. And they're both married. This was his first love. It just sounds ... self serving, to me. I would write them email and send it to myself and then immediately delete it. All the catharsis without the need to relive the past.
posted by Tevin at 2:09 PM on April 28, 2016

Yeah, I don't think that he should be the one to reach out to her. I pulled a similarly shitty relationship thing a few years back, and after I'd gotten my head out of my ass I wanted to reach out and apologize, but I held off. Eventually the other party found me on Facebook and friended me, and I figured if we were going to be social media acquaintances, I needed to clear the air. But it wouldn't have been right to insert myself into his life just to get something off of my chest.

The 1,000 Brimes story would have been better with a conversation with the girlfriend. Or a picture of the desk in question on the website. Because as is, it sounds like a Sandra Bullock movie.

The woman who lost her mother is being way way way too hard on herself. The people who deserve to have her in her life will not care that it took her a whole 60 days to reply.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:35 AM on April 29, 2016

Phia said she spent a lot of time confirming it! If you can't believe Phia Bennin, who can you believe?
posted by rikschell at 6:37 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah, but was she on LSD when she "saw" all of that "confirmation"?
posted by sparklemotion at 2:43 PM on April 30, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was so curious about what she meant by that. Like how do you get third party verification on a story that boils down to these two peoples word.

Also I think no good could come from sending that old girlfriend email. I know if I was her I'd find it weird and unwelcome. Especially because it was high school. I think people universally were like we were dumb in high school. No weird explanation. Also the idea that he wanted to do it to like, maintain her belief that the world isn't so cruel and unusual doesn't really hold that much water for me. Also is super weird and paternalistic cause it assumes a lot for how she looks at it now.
posted by KernalM at 6:08 AM on May 2, 2016

Alternative read: The "1,000 brimes" woman was stalking her now-boyfriend before they "met."
posted by schmod at 8:52 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

The first story (I can't finish it; maybe he has reasons beyond 'opening up this can of worms for her will make me feel better') is basically why my marriage ended in a Get Out Now fashion, involving lawyers and counselors and law enforcement and involuntary hospitalization and an order for protection (not mine), so I am 100% on the FUCK NO STAY OUT OF HER LIFE bench unless, say, she has two weeks to live and reached out to him first specifically to resolve this issue. God, I need a drink now.
posted by Flannery Culp at 9:06 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

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