2016 UEFA European Football Championship: Round of 16

June 23, 2016 10:29 AM - Season 1, Episode 4

8 teams have gone home. 8 more will fall before next Tuesday.

The bracket is exceptionally name-heavy in one side, due to England and Spain dropping points in the last round of group stage matches that would put them in first place, and as a result, quarter-finals might feature Italy - Germany (or rematch of 2008 final Spain - Germany) and England - France. This, of course, doesn't mean these teams sure to advance or the other bracket is a walk in the park - Croatia has proved they are not easily intimidated (not even by their own fans) and Wales' Gareth Bale leads the top scorers chart with Morata, and Portugal might have a word left to say, despite being only the 15th best team in the tournament and the first team ever to advance without winning a single game, while Belgium still entered as a team with reasonable expectations to win, and the terrible performance against Italy seemed to work as a timely reality check.

The biggest surprise comes from group F, topped by Hungary and Iceland, two teams that were not expected to score more than a couple of points, and all 3 British teams decided at least this Europe was worth hanging around, so was the RoI, the last team to clinch a spot thanks to a late winner against Italy. On disappointments, Russia leads not only because of the scenes in Marseille, but also looking very fragile two years before hosting the World Cup. A lot more was also expected from Zlatan's last hurrah with Sweden, and the same could be said about Czechia and Rosicky. Austria, that at a time ranked in the upper half of the favourite tables is also packing home without glory and just one point. Ukraine, the first team eliminated, is the only to lose all three games.

The highlight will obviously be Italy - Spain, a rematch of the 2012 final Spain won easily. This year, Italy was the first team to secure their group, while Spain looked in control until conceding a late, soft goal against Croatia, suffering their first Euro defeat since 2004. And interestingly enough, Croatia will meet the last team to beat Spain in the Euros, in a game Portugal will expect Ronaldo throws a reporter into a lake for good luck. Wales and N. Ireland will also meet, meaning at least one British team will drop and one will advance.

ROUND OF 16 (all times local)

25 June
15.00 Switzerland - Poland
18.00 Wales - N. Ireland
21.00 Croatia - Portugal

26 June
15.00 France - Rep. Ireland
18.00 Germany - Slovakia
21.00 Hungary - Belgium

27 June
18.00 Italy - Spain
21.00 England - Iceland

posted by lmfsilva (320 comments total)

So, because the commentators were getting on my nerves arguing if Portugal should go 2nd or 3rd to avoid England (because the team that dropped points against everyone gets to be picky and because Croatia didn't beat Spain the night before), I was wondering: what if instead of a predefined knockout tree, UEFA had adopted an US-style seeded knockout bracket? I ranked the teams according to UEFA rules (points, goal difference, goals scored), and then used a generator to come up with this.
posted by lmfsilva at 10:56 AM on June 23, 2016

"a late, soft goal against Croatia"

What a fantastic goal!! Amazing break, superb movement, and a deseved goal.
posted by marienbad at 9:45 PM on June 21

I stand by that - agree it was poor goalkeeping, and a slight deflection, but still, Croatia deserved a goal to top off a stunning break on the counter.

So how did you work out who played who in your last 16 that you made?
posted by marienbad at 2:38 PM on June 23, 2016

Oh, the setup was great, but De Gea was not covering the post properly. Even with a deflection, the worst that should have come from that was a corner, not playing Italy. Not a slight in Croatia, who pretty much caught Spain right where they wanted.

Basically, in this system the 1st plays the 16th, the 2nd vs 15th, the 3rd vs 14th and so on until the 8th plays the 9th. Then, it is divided in a way the 1st and 2nd would only meet in a final. It wouldn't require a new draw, although I'm surprised UEFA never considered it - I imagine one today (or yesterday if the matches were played one slot earlier) at dinnertime would get respectable audiences, plus some use the ball warmers/coolers.
I mean, it's not necessary, but if we're eliminating the two worst thirds, as opposed to have all group winners + 2 best second place teams advance from the group stage, might as well complicate that math and make everyone suffer a bit longer.
posted by lmfsilva at 3:22 PM on June 23, 2016

Predictions for Saturday's games:

14.00 Switzerland - Poland - Can't see beyond a Polish win here, a superior team that held Germany to a nil nil. Switzerland have looked okay, but I think Poland will have too much for them.

17.00 Wales - N. Ireland - Surely Wales with the talent they have, and Bale is on form this tournament, as is Williams and Ronson-Kanu.

20.00 Croatia - Portugal - Croatia, as Portugal only turned up in their last match against Hungary, and even then they struggled, and Croatia will be bouyed up by the win over Spain.
posted by marienbad at 7:18 PM on June 23, 2016

Germany - Poland was weird in a way it felt both were more than ok with a tie (after winning their first game, both would need just a point to advance), so I wouldn't draw too much from it. Germany is also looking a lot less menacing now than it was two years ago.
posted by lmfsilva at 8:52 AM on June 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Wales manager Chris Coleman said the emotion of the match against England got to them, and if they can manage that they will be ok.
posted by marienbad at 9:19 AM on June 24, 2016

ROUND OF 16 (all times local).
Your local time, obviously, or not?
posted by nims at 2:18 PM on June 24, 2016

Ah, shit. I think the site I took the info from started offsetting hours according to IP address and I didn't even notice. I'll contact a mod to fix this.
posted by lmfsilva at 5:39 PM on June 24, 2016

Mod note: Adjusted times as per request.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 5:51 PM on June 24, 2016

This is one of the most interesting tournaments in a while! We've been watching a lot more Copa because the times are better on the West Coast but some great games. And some awful ones. Nice to see Wales, N. Ire and Iceland all advance.
posted by fshgrl at 12:20 AM on June 25, 2016

BBC's Mark Lawrenson's Predictions for the Round of 16 Games

Comedy Gold: Rooney - "England can do 'magical things' at Euro 2016"

(There are some great comments on the Rooney article:

"Did he bring a pack of cards with him?"

"yep, watch our creativity disappear when Iceland defend deep."


"He's right they can do magic things, they've been making hope and optimism disappear for years..."

(The first part is someone's comment, the second the reply)
""Don't let us down tomorrow"

You probably mean "Don't let us down on Monday" - but if England start playing tomorrow they might manage to score before Iceland start playing on Monday ...")

Good Luck to anyone whose team plays today.
posted by marienbad at 4:11 AM on June 25, 2016

Anyone watching? Apparently Switzerland have a worse record on penalties than England, they have taken part in one penalty shootout, and missed three penalties and lost. Wow, they sure must be hoping it doesn't come to pens!
posted by marienbad at 5:58 AM on June 25, 2016

Holy moly - Poland should have scored there. WTF were you doing, switzerland?
posted by marienbad at 6:02 AM on June 25, 2016

Both teams are playing very conservative ball. I'm looking forward for the second half.
posted by nims at 6:12 AM on June 25, 2016

How are Poland not ahead here? Should be 3-0 up by now.
posted by marienbad at 6:34 AM on June 25, 2016

Nicely taken goal, great break. A bit of luck on the play just before he cross, but well done, Poland.
posted by marienbad at 6:40 AM on June 25, 2016

Surely you'd like to see Poles sent home? ;)

So sorry couldn't resist, purely in jest.
posted by fullerine at 6:57 AM on June 25, 2016

Not in here mate, please. This is football, it is far more important! (Also I never said "send them home.")

After that Swiss foul on Lewandowski: BBC Commentator Lawro: "So much for neutrality." (Lewandowski is playing some clever stuff drawing these fouls!)

Switzerland looking better after the break, but they keep getting caught on the break, and one of these times it is surely going to go in.
posted by marienbad at 7:20 AM on June 25, 2016

Never a good sign when I spend most of the game on my phone and don't even bother saying something about it.
posted by lmfsilva at 7:24 AM on June 25, 2016

(Was also tempted to go with "it's okay, mate, Lewandowski lives in Germany lol!)
posted by marienbad at 7:24 AM on June 25, 2016

Fabianski to the rescue! Nice free kick!
posted by marienbad at 7:32 AM on June 25, 2016

Wow. Goal of the tournament.
posted by fullerine at 7:41 AM on June 25, 2016

It's been coming - what a stunning goal from Shaquiri!!
posted by marienbad at 7:41 AM on June 25, 2016

Goal of the tournament?
posted by lmfsilva at 7:42 AM on June 25, 2016

The Poles need to get it together or they will be going home!
posted by marienbad at 7:42 AM on June 25, 2016

Surely a change or two for Poland is needed now.
posted by marienbad at 7:44 AM on June 25, 2016

Poland got off the throttle too soon. That shot at the crossbar should have been a warning.
posted by lmfsilva at 7:48 AM on June 25, 2016

Poland look tired
posted by fullerine at 7:49 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah, if Poland lose this now will the manager get into trouble for not making any changes?
posted by marienbad at 7:50 AM on June 25, 2016

Poland seemed to be settling for extra time at the end there.

Poland got off the throttle too soon - And you all told me they were hard-working! I kid, I kid.
posted by marienbad at 7:54 AM on June 25, 2016

I think their bench is not very good so no option.
posted by fullerine at 7:54 AM on June 25, 2016

Finally it looks like Poland are going to make a change.
posted by marienbad at 8:07 AM on June 25, 2016

Like buses - you wait ages and then two at once!
posted by marienbad at 8:12 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

Unless Switzerland gets one in, this might well go into penalties. Poland didn't seem interested in pushing the game on.
posted by lmfsilva at 8:15 AM on June 25, 2016

Embolo has looked good since he came on. Switzerland looking more likely to win right now (maybe they are scared of it going to penalties.)
posted by marienbad at 8:19 AM on June 25, 2016

I also hope this doesn't go to pens as I have to go to work and will miss them.
posted by marienbad at 8:21 AM on June 25, 2016

How did he miss? Nice save, but still.
posted by marienbad at 8:23 AM on June 25, 2016

Oh man, I have to drive to work now! I'll try to pop in for the wales/ireland game and chat.
posted by marienbad at 8:32 AM on June 25, 2016

Well, Polands gamble paid out.
posted by lmfsilva at 8:50 AM on June 25, 2016

FFS they always fuck up the Welsh anthem on the PA
Just kick it off and let the crowd do it you morons.
posted by fullerine at 8:59 AM on June 25, 2016

An English referee? eyebrowraise.gif
posted by billiebee at 9:05 AM on June 25, 2016

I'll be gutted for Grigg if O'Neill doesn't play him. Maybe he's saving him as a way of bringing the crowd support to a crescendo later on.
posted by billiebee at 9:11 AM on June 25, 2016

Phew...
posted by billiebee at 9:21 AM on June 25, 2016

Wales look nervous.
Not a good sign.
posted by fullerine at 9:37 AM on June 25, 2016

Thank God. McGovern has been the star of the campaign.
posted by billiebee at 10:17 AM on June 25, 2016

Ok Daddy Turtle fixing Little Turtle's scarf is my favourite moment of the whole tournament
posted by billiebee at 10:25 AM on June 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

Not seen much as am at work, but seems fairly evenly matched.
posted by marienbad at 10:27 AM on June 25, 2016

Aw nooooooo
posted by billiebee at 10:34 AM on June 25, 2016

Oh dear. First they vote to remain, and now they've scored another own goal. I kid, billiebee, I kid..
posted by marienbad at 10:34 AM on June 25, 2016

oh, that's bitter. That's a horrible way to get/have/score/lose/win a goal
posted by From Bklyn at 10:35 AM on June 25, 2016

To be fair he had no choice but to go for it, it was likely going in either way.
posted by billiebee at 10:37 AM on June 25, 2016

If you plan to watch this on replay, just don't do it.
posted by nims at 10:56 AM on June 25, 2016

Gutted. Ah well, it was great while it lasted. This has been the first time I've known so much cross-community support for NI. It's been one of the gradual side effects of things being more stable here. I was just thinking I hope that by the next tournament the fallout from Brexit hasn't sent us backwards.
posted by billiebee at 11:02 AM on June 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

sad, when the most interesting thing on the pitch is some dude's hair...
posted by progosk at 1:03 PM on June 25, 2016

snorefest...
posted by progosk at 1:51 PM on June 25, 2016

I missed most of the 90 mins as stupid customers started ordering after about the first 10 mins. Sounds like I didn't miss much!
posted by marienbad at 2:05 PM on June 25, 2016

"Shots on target over 90 minutes: Croatia 0-0 Portugal." OUCH
posted by juv3nal at 2:10 PM on June 25, 2016

To be honest, from watching the first period of extra time, neither of these teams looks likely to win it.

BBC commentator - still no shots on target!
posted by marienbad at 2:13 PM on June 25, 2016

(hey - just saw a close-up of the ball: is the decoration a blue-red anaglyph, or something?)
posted by progosk at 2:18 PM on June 25, 2016

totally undeserved... but that's how it goes...
posted by progosk at 2:28 PM on June 25, 2016

Wow - finally a goal!
posted by marienbad at 2:29 PM on June 25, 2016

Agonisingly close!
posted by marienbad at 2:32 PM on June 25, 2016

holdup completed!!
posted by nims at 2:33 PM on June 25, 2016

Gutted for Croatia, Portugal have not been good yet they are in the Quarter Finals and will meet Poland.
posted by marienbad at 2:33 PM on June 25, 2016

Feels like I haven't missed much after falling asleep halfway Wales - N.Ireland.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:42 AM on June 26, 2016

Good Luck to anyone whose team plays today. I have a feeling some of you might need it!

Can't see France losing to Ireland, much as France haven't been good. Germany will surely beat Slovakia, they are just able to win even if they don't play well.

Hungary Belgium is much more difficult to call. Technically it should be Belgium, but Hungary gave Portugal a run for their money, and the only time Belgium came alive was vs Ireland. Maybe the momentum of the win will carry them through, but on the other hand, Hungary will be up for it after the game against Portugal. I think maybe this could be another one that could go to penalties.
posted by marienbad at 5:52 AM on June 26, 2016

Fucking yes!
posted by billiebee at 6:02 AM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Can we blow the whistle now s'il vouz plait?
posted by billiebee at 6:04 AM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Holy shit - I clearly know fuck all about football!! awesome, well done Ireland, fucking fantastic (Yeah, I know I tipped France to win the Euros but I would love to see Ireland stuff them!)

Come on Ireland!!!
posted by marienbad at 6:05 AM on June 26, 2016

Oh that was a chance.
posted by billiebee at 6:21 AM on June 26, 2016

That was a tense few minutes. France were getting it together.
posted by billiebee at 6:50 AM on June 26, 2016

Sorry, getting caught up again in the stupid brexit arguments thread.

Well done Ireland, held firm even under French pressure (hmmm, that sounds familar... lol)

Watching the replay of the pen, what the heck are the French doing?
posted by marienbad at 6:58 AM on June 26, 2016

Coman on for Kante!! wow! kante has been fucking stunning all tournament!
posted by marienbad at 7:05 AM on June 26, 2016

Be careful, Irish lads.
posted by marienbad at 7:08 AM on June 26, 2016

Murphy - poor control there. Should have done better.
posted by marienbad at 7:09 AM on June 26, 2016

great move, deserved a goal there.
posted by marienbad at 7:12 AM on June 26, 2016

Grass cutter from Payet!
posted by marienbad at 7:13 AM on June 26, 2016

Man this is nerve wracking and I'm English!! Can only imagine what it must be like for any Irish watching!
posted by marienbad at 7:16 AM on June 26, 2016

You could feel that coming. Fuck.
posted by billiebee at 7:17 AM on June 26, 2016

Randolph has been good in goal for Ireland.
posted by marienbad at 7:17 AM on June 26, 2016

It has been coming. France have finally turned up at the tournament. Fuck, feel for the Irish though.
posted by marienbad at 7:18 AM on June 26, 2016

Who was supposed to be marking Griezmann?
posted by marienbad at 7:18 AM on June 26, 2016

How is that not a corner?
posted by marienbad at 7:19 AM on June 26, 2016

SAKE
posted by billiebee at 7:20 AM on June 26, 2016

Damn. It was good while it lasted.
posted by marienbad at 7:21 AM on June 26, 2016

Awful defending there though.
posted by marienbad at 7:22 AM on June 26, 2016

Still amazed how Griezmann scored with his head with such power.
posted by lmfsilva at 7:25 AM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Fuck OFF!!
posted by billiebee at 7:25 AM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Merde seems the best response right now.
posted by marienbad at 7:25 AM on June 26, 2016

Oh no! Disaster.
posted by marienbad at 7:26 AM on June 26, 2016

Difficult as he had to try to do something.
posted by marienbad at 7:27 AM on June 26, 2016

hahaha it hit giroud! All that clever shit and it fucked up!
posted by marienbad at 7:28 AM on June 26, 2016

Yes poor Giroud. Or Rylan, as I like to call him.
posted by billiebee at 7:31 AM on June 26, 2016

who?
posted by marienbad at 7:33 AM on June 26, 2016

Rylan
posted by billiebee at 7:36 AM on June 26, 2016

haha - okay.
posted by marienbad at 7:38 AM on June 26, 2016

Ireland are about out of steam now, they have had to work so hard. Still trying, but it is getting easier for France now.
posted by marienbad at 7:47 AM on June 26, 2016

3 big disappointments in one weekend. It's time for gin.
posted by billiebee at 7:53 AM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Its over- France are through. Well played, Ireland, you gave it your all.
posted by marienbad at 7:54 AM on June 26, 2016

OK, pretty much as planned, France.

(Erm... Croatia v Portugal a "snorefest", Perisic's hair as "rare point of interest", and in the end it "felt like an injustice"... was the Grauniad reading this thread?)
posted by progosk at 7:54 AM on June 26, 2016

From your link, progosk: "Leave Europe? If this is the best it can offer, it’s a no-brainer." heh.
posted by marienbad at 8:02 AM on June 26, 2016

So now we have to beat Iceland as then it will be super-beautiful if we beat France in the Quarter finals. I did wonder how all those who are in France for the tournament, both players and fans, were able to vote on Thursday. Did they use postal voting and do it early, or were there voting stations set up in France?
posted by marienbad at 8:04 AM on June 26, 2016

Come on Slovakia, stick it to Germany!!
posted by marienbad at 9:06 AM on June 26, 2016

Damn.
posted by marienbad at 9:10 AM on June 26, 2016

great strike by Boateng, with an unfortunate deflection.
posted by lmfsilva at 9:11 AM on June 26, 2016

And now a fucking penalty. Fuck.
posted by marienbad at 9:14 AM on June 26, 2016

Save - terrible penalty though.
posted by marienbad at 9:15 AM on June 26, 2016

what an half-arsed penalty by Özil. Slow run-up, telegraphed direction and a week shot to boot.
posted by lmfsilva at 9:17 AM on June 26, 2016

This seems way too easy for the Germans.
posted by marienbad at 9:39 AM on June 26, 2016

Neuer saved them there! Quick movement and thinking from the goalie!
posted by marienbad at 9:40 AM on June 26, 2016

what a save!! So close. Nice movement by Slovakia as well.
posted by marienbad at 9:42 AM on June 26, 2016

... and just like that, this might be over.
posted by lmfsilva at 9:46 AM on June 26, 2016

Oh man, this is going to be a thrashing if they aren't careful!
posted by marienbad at 9:46 AM on June 26, 2016

Is it actually worth watching the second half? I'm too depressed already! How often have Germany lost having gone 2 up by half time?
posted by marienbad at 9:50 AM on June 26, 2016

On my side, I'm curious to see if Germany can sustain this level of engagement.
posted by nims at 10:03 AM on June 26, 2016

Great volley by Draxler possibly settles this.
posted by lmfsilva at 10:23 AM on June 26, 2016

It has been over since the second goal went in.
posted by marienbad at 10:24 AM on June 26, 2016

Is Schweinsteiger going to score?
posted by nims at 10:35 AM on June 26, 2016

Kroos deserved a goal there for his play throughout the tournament.
posted by marienbad at 10:49 AM on June 26, 2016

Well, that was a bit of a let down for everyone except Germany.
posted by marienbad at 10:52 AM on June 26, 2016

Toby!
posted by lmfsilva at 12:13 PM on June 26, 2016

Worst cross of the day contender there.
posted by marienbad at 12:26 PM on June 26, 2016

Hungary getting closer all the time.
posted by marienbad at 1:25 PM on June 26, 2016

Belgium had plenty of chances to settle this, haven't, and might cost them.

Hazard is taking a few pages from Inzaghi's book on cheating offside traps. Unfortunately, his book is missing the "how" pages.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:26 PM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

The sub wins it for Belgium!
posted by marienbad at 1:35 PM on June 26, 2016

Oh man! It's a rout!
posted by marienbad at 1:36 PM on June 26, 2016

So much for my prediction that this game might go to penalties!
posted by marienbad at 1:38 PM on June 26, 2016

Well, Witsel realised having his hands there helps, but it will hurt as hell anyway.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:45 PM on June 26, 2016

4-0! man this will lift Belgium for the quater final.
posted by marienbad at 1:47 PM on June 26, 2016

Belgium looks deadly on the counter. Might be tough to beat when ahead.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:51 PM on June 26, 2016

yeah they sure do but they seemed to sit back today for quite a long time.
posted by marienbad at 1:54 PM on June 26, 2016

Wales' only hope is if Belguim play like they did at the start of the tournament.
Looks like Wexit is coming on Friday.
posted by fullerine at 1:01 AM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

I will be at work for both of these games but will try to catch some of them and make a few comments. Hopefully Italy will do Spain. And come on, England! (A Chinese guy at work has put a bet on England to win 3-1 - I said "you are a lot more optimistic than me.")
posted by marienbad at 8:31 AM on June 27, 2016

More optimistic than me too, I can see England scraping an uninspiring win.
posted by biffa at 9:03 AM on June 27, 2016

Raining copiously in Paris.
posted by lmfsilva at 9:08 AM on June 27, 2016

Looks to be sunny and clear and warm (or hot as we call it in England) in Nice. Not great conditions for either team.
posted by biffa at 9:19 AM on June 27, 2016

Italy in control so far. Spain not being able to hold on to the ball in midfield - Italy swarming passing lines.

Morata's ability to win long throws might be crucial.
posted by lmfsilva at 9:22 AM on June 27, 2016

BBC: Italy have 11 yellow cards so far this tournament. Quelle surprise!
posted by marienbad at 9:28 AM on June 27, 2016

come on free kick!!!
posted by progosk at 9:34 AM on June 27, 2016

well done Giaccherini
posted by progosk at 9:36 AM on June 27, 2016

I hate Italy because I love the way they play but it makes me feel dirty.
Sigh
posted by From Bklyn at 9:39 AM on June 27, 2016

(From a distance, the Spanish jersey looks like someone slapped a pizza on it.)
posted by progosk at 9:40 AM on June 27, 2016

I don't think Casillas is much better, but De Gea has been failing at crucial points so far. The free kick was right at him, and he deflected it forwards, which looked exactly Italy's plan.

Spain need to get level ASAP. If Italy locks up their defence, they will need a lot more than sideway passes to win.
posted by lmfsilva at 9:42 AM on June 27, 2016

va bene così, ragazzi...
posted by progosk at 9:49 AM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

(Had Chiellini not put in that deflection, Italy would likely have got a penalty for how De Gea mowed down Giaccherini, btw.)
posted by progosk at 9:52 AM on June 27, 2016

We came to play. So far. (Cautious)Woot.

Picque has to be kicking himself; first for the foul that garnered the penalty, then he bobbled it in the box.
posted by romakimmy at 9:52 AM on June 27, 2016

minor miracle from De Gea, there
posted by progosk at 10:14 AM on June 27, 2016

Italy so so close of the second. Not very typical to miss a play like that.
posted by lmfsilva at 10:15 AM on June 27, 2016

Missed the goal and most of the game so far because stupid customers keep ordering. Glad to see Italy ahead, also agree re hideous Spain top.
posted by marienbad at 10:18 AM on June 27, 2016

w.t.f. The. Ref.
posted by progosk at 10:18 AM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

And they say the Italians play dirty??
posted by progosk at 10:20 AM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

How did they not score!!
posted by marienbad at 10:21 AM on June 27, 2016

What gives, Italia? That should have gone in twice!!
posted by progosk at 10:21 AM on June 27, 2016

First chance for Spain, 70 mins in.
posted by progosk at 10:29 AM on June 27, 2016

Oops, offside...
posted by progosk at 10:32 AM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

(Has a coach ever scored from the sideline?)
posted by progosk at 10:35 AM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Conte hoofs the ball away to the delight of the Italy fans.
posted by marienbad at 10:35 AM on June 27, 2016

Pressure's on...
posted by progosk at 10:35 AM on June 27, 2016

Buffon is a legend at the moment.
posted by marienbad at 10:36 AM on June 27, 2016

Italy need to get hold of the ball and hold up the play a bit.
posted by marienbad at 10:41 AM on June 27, 2016

Eh daje porca miseria. Get your shit together Azzurri
posted by romakimmy at 10:44 AM on June 27, 2016

De Gea's still in this
posted by progosk at 10:44 AM on June 27, 2016

Skyed - ole!
posted by marienbad at 10:46 AM on June 27, 2016

Have Italy got any subs left? Maybe another change at about 90 mins?
posted by marienbad at 10:47 AM on June 27, 2016

Omfg!
posted by marienbad at 10:48 AM on June 27, 2016

Bellezza!!
posted by progosk at 10:49 AM on June 27, 2016

ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!
posted by romakimmy at 10:50 AM on June 27, 2016

Magic! Bye bye Spain!! Feeling better, romakimmy ?
posted by marienbad at 10:50 AM on June 27, 2016

La Grande Bellezza!
posted by progosk at 10:52 AM on June 27, 2016

So what was up with the Spanish? Fear, tired, what?
posted by progosk at 10:54 AM on June 27, 2016

Sort of. Hubs has been taking the piss for my yelling at the Telly and I woke up my toddler just now exulting at the second gol. Yay we're through, we finally beat Spain, and playing much better than against Ireland. Boo for wavering in the second half and the fact that I have to get the toddler back down
posted by romakimmy at 10:58 AM on June 27, 2016

And yeah what progosk said - Spain were uncharacteristically dirty today and what the hell happened to Picque?
posted by romakimmy at 11:03 AM on June 27, 2016

So what was up with the Spanish? Fear, tired, what?

As someone who has seen a team play by a follower of Guardiola and very likely the next Spain manager, lack of punching power outside the box. It's fine to be able to make dozens of passes in the midfield, but unless the wingers can put the ball in the box and the forwards make something out of it, or have a player (say, a diminutive argentinian) opening up lanes in front, it's pointless.

If the team has none of that, it's a lot of inconsequential passes in the midfield the defense won't bite and a lot of kicking the ball to the box from set pieces to get something on goal.

It's truly the end of an era, if the World Cup wasn't enough of a hint.
posted by lmfsilva at 11:20 AM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Italy pressed very well, countered very well, and defended deep very well; it was just about a perfect tactical performance on the field. I wouldn't have expected any two of those three things to stop Spain, but all three were more than enough. A really satisfying performance to watch, I thought.
posted by that's candlepin at 11:59 AM on June 27, 2016

Iceland v England? Go -land! It's a land war in Europe! Between LANDS. Whoever wins, the sea will LOSE! And the SKY will draw! I dunno what I'm SAYING!!!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:01 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]

Great that they both got their goals out of the way so quick! Now we can play a real game of socker! May the best socks win! LAND!!!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:08 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Despair follows delight. That's football.
posted by marienbad at 12:09 PM on June 27, 2016

Iceland rocks. They already won.
posted by nims at 12:09 PM on June 27, 2016

This is a silly game.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:13 PM on June 27, 2016

what is even happening
posted by juv3nal at 12:20 PM on June 27, 2016

Jesus h Christ. Wtf Hart?
posted by marienbad at 12:21 PM on June 27, 2016

SMITE!!!
posted by progosk at 12:21 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

#Brexit
posted by GhostintheMachine at 12:21 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh I thought they'd done all the goals! Talk about greedy. Still that's three goals for -land, maybe sea can come back in the second half?
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:22 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Holy.

If rumours are any true, Guardiola won't face much resistance dumping Joe Hart. I don't think he's much popular these days.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:22 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is gonna be like when Germany best Brazil if we aren't careful.
posted by marienbad at 12:25 PM on June 27, 2016

Are England Germany or Brazil in that comparison? Either way, lol
posted by billiebee at 12:28 PM on June 27, 2016

Brazil. Lol
posted by marienbad at 12:29 PM on June 27, 2016

#engxit lol
posted by marienbad at 12:29 PM on June 27, 2016

Kane seems to have found his spot.
posted by nims at 12:30 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

#IceWelc
posted by nims at 12:31 PM on June 27, 2016

ICELAND PLEASE WIN THIS GAME!
posted by bigendian at 12:34 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

ICELAND PLEASE WIN THIS GAME!

Do it.
posted by nims at 12:35 PM on June 27, 2016

I step away for a minute and... What the hell is going on here?
posted by From Bklyn at 12:36 PM on June 27, 2016

Iceland? More like NIceland, amirite?
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:37 PM on June 27, 2016

Kane returning to his old habits. Very consistent player.
posted by nims at 12:40 PM on June 27, 2016

Just got an e-mail with the subject line "Important Sports Alarm" and it definitely was.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:40 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Pretty bad that England are being beaten by a supermarket.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:41 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

A super-duper market. Super-duper.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:49 PM on June 27, 2016

True. They're good value!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:51 PM on June 27, 2016

There's a pic on my FB feed of a guy in a pub wearing an Iceland plastic bag as a shirt. Which makes sense.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

This is typical of England - we have no class or guile to unlock teams like this, and the defending for the throw in goal was apalling. As for Hart - jeez.
posted by marienbad at 1:01 PM on June 27, 2016

Google can't help me - does anyone know the origin of the Iceland chant? And seriously how do they teach and synchronise that?
posted by billiebee at 1:03 PM on June 27, 2016

300?
posted by nims at 1:05 PM on June 27, 2016

Presumably they all learned chanting while rowing longboats. (They still do that, right?)
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:07 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Rooney should have been off there.
posted by billiebee at 1:16 PM on June 27, 2016

Ungh. Took way too long to slink off the desk so I can watch this on my phone

I MEAN DO RESEARCH INTO SELF DESTRUCTION
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:18 PM on June 27, 2016

England are going to lose, you can just feel it.
posted by marienbad at 1:20 PM on June 27, 2016

Alan Pardew has a nice glass of water and some noisemakers sitting by his phone right now.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:21 PM on June 27, 2016

Well done Harry.
posted by nims at 1:24 PM on June 27, 2016

How often does Rooney fall over himself?
posted by billiebee at 1:26 PM on June 27, 2016

Brilliant tackle!
posted by billiebee at 1:26 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

How often does Rooney fall over himself?

In a game or just in life?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:27 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yeah, that was a class tackle

Rooney has been poor this game.
posted by marienbad at 1:27 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

The assembled pundits said that Roy Hodgson has a decision to make: does he drop Joe Hart for the quarter-final?

Safe to say that Joe Hart will not be playing in the quarter-final. His teammates are also looking unlikely to play in the quarter-final.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:30 PM on June 27, 2016 [6 favorites]

Harry Kane is looking forward to watch the quarter-final with some moritos.
posted by nims at 1:32 PM on June 27, 2016

This has got to be one of the worst England performances I have seen in a while.
posted by marienbad at 1:33 PM on June 27, 2016

So, about that Italy Spain game, what a game that was, hey?
posted by marienbad at 1:35 PM on June 27, 2016

Kane off, Rashford on pls.
posted by marienbad at 1:36 PM on June 27, 2016

You're only losing to Iceland...oh I see your point
posted by billiebee at 1:37 PM on June 27, 2016

Or Wilshire off and we go for it.
posted by marienbad at 1:37 PM on June 27, 2016

The problem is that even if we score now it will possibly go to extra time, and even if we win, we will be tired for the France game, and they will have had a day's more rest.
posted by marienbad at 1:39 PM on June 27, 2016

Another poor pass from Rooney, and no support for Rose at all.
posted by marienbad at 1:40 PM on June 27, 2016

Fuck sake!
posted by billiebee at 1:40 PM on June 27, 2016

We are actually getting worse!
posted by marienbad at 1:40 PM on June 27, 2016

Just figured out why sea haven't scored any goals - the game is played on LAND! And land have 3 goals! Talk about your home element advantage. They should play the third half in a lake. Or in some wetlands, maybe. I dunno!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:40 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Kane is consistent.
posted by nims at 1:41 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Shit, Rashford on. You might still have a chance.
posted by billiebee at 1:43 PM on June 27, 2016

To be fair to the guys they're just doing what the referendum told 'em to do. I mean if they tried to win, it would actually be unconstitutional. That's what my QC told me, anyway.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:44 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

If you were gonna take Rooney off why did you wait til now you fucking moron!
posted by marienbad at 1:44 PM on June 27, 2016

Fucking hell, Kane, useless.
posted by marienbad at 1:45 PM on June 27, 2016

Kane is magnificent.
posted by nims at 1:45 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

waste a few minutes....
posted by marienbad at 1:45 PM on June 27, 2016

Go on son!
posted by billiebee at 1:45 PM on June 27, 2016

So do I support my Queen's home and fellow Commonwealth country, or the country that now has a Canadian First Lady? I don't want to be rude to anyone.

/conflicted Canadian
posted by Kabanos at 1:45 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

What's going on to the right of the Iceland goal that Kane keep's wiffing the ball over there? Is it one of those 18th hole 'Win a Free Game' things?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:46 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

We are falling apart right at the end.
posted by marienbad at 1:47 PM on June 27, 2016

Just the end?
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:47 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Well, marienbad, at least you've got a noble tradition of melancholic English poetry to comfort you.

And we are here as on a darkling plain...
posted by clawsoon at 1:49 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

1 minute left
posted by marienbad at 1:50 PM on June 27, 2016

Yay!!
posted by billiebee at 1:50 PM on June 27, 2016

ICELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!
posted by bigendian at 1:51 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Can't. Stop. Laughing.
posted by fullerine at 1:51 PM on June 27, 2016

ICED!!!
posted by progosk at 1:52 PM on June 27, 2016

wow.
I am awed.
Bravo.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:52 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Jesus Christ, and people think leaving the EU is bad, it is nothing compared to this! Fuck you, Roy Hodgeson.
posted by marienbad at 1:52 PM on June 27, 2016

Now i want to watch France-Iceland.
posted by nims at 1:52 PM on June 27, 2016

Wilshere looking all Saturnine at the end there.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:52 PM on June 27, 2016

God, I hope Hodgson loses his job. England were so uninspired and unimaginative, which is pretty much how I consider Hodgson's style to be.
posted by idb at 1:52 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Losing to Iceland > Brexit
posted by nims at 1:52 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

First England quit Europe. Now they're kicked out. It's been a rough week.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:54 PM on June 27, 2016

"The only nation to exit Europe twice in a week"
posted by Kabanos at 1:54 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

Well that was fucking dismal, hodgeson will surely be sacked after this. Although who replaces him is tricky.

There was nothing there, no class, no guile, no skill, the simple stuff was shit, the defending poor, the midlfield lacklustre and the attack impotent.

Shoulda brought on Rashford much much sooner.
posted by marienbad at 1:57 PM on June 27, 2016

Ah the lovely English fans, offering sympathy and consolation to the boys who've sweated and danced for them like shaved monkeys.
posted by billiebee at 1:58 PM on June 27, 2016

Petitioning @GOVUK: If England Lose to Iceland - Replay The Match Until We Get The Result We Desire!
posted by Kabanos at 1:58 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

I meant that for the shot of the booing fans on tv
posted by billiebee at 1:59 PM on June 27, 2016

And as for Joe Hart - I am buying a fucking snipers rifle and heading north.... (I am kidding... well, maybe)
posted by marienbad at 1:59 PM on June 27, 2016

There's a lot to love about this tournament
posted by progosk at 1:59 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Apparently, Gary Cahill is in tears? Are they better than John Terry tears? Whose taste sweeter?
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:59 PM on June 27, 2016

Petitioning @GOVUK: If England Lose to Iceland - Replay The Match Until We Get The Result We Desire!

Called it in the Brexit thread.
posted by marienbad at 2:02 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hey, at least Rashford gets to look forward to being completely ignored by Jose until January.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:02 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

This post-match analysis is delicious.
posted by billiebee at 2:03 PM on June 27, 2016

Love the result for Iceland! How cool is that?

Also: Hodgson is so far past his sell-by date it's not funny. Liverpool fans knew this all too well. Not that there's much hope the next guy will be any better.
posted by that's candlepin at 2:04 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Crouch: some of the Iceland players only play part-time.
Me: I didn't even know that! That's even better, thank you!
posted by billiebee at 2:05 PM on June 27, 2016

So the quarter finals line up is:

Poland vs Portugal
Wales vs Belgium

Germany vs Italy
France vs Iceland

Fucks sake, I am so fucking angry. If I thought the Brexit thread made me angry it is as nothing compared to this lol!
posted by marienbad at 2:06 PM on June 27, 2016

"No, no, do not worry, Joe," Pep says, placing a hand around the goalkeeper's shoulder. "This is.. uh... just our new mascot, yes? Big Blue Moon Head guy, yes. That is him."

Joe lets his new boss lead him to the door, but he glances nervously at the hulking figure behind him. "But why does he look like Manuel Neuer in a Mac Tonight costume?"

"Because he is, you bastard." Pep says as he shoves Joe Hart out the door. Joe tries to scramble at the knob before it locks, but it too slips from his fingers.

He slumps to his knees and cries.

"Hey," says Vincent Kompany from the cardboard box/ESPN2 Studio he's been living in for the past few months. "You okay, buddy?"
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:10 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Well done Iceland, undeniably worthy winners and a great result for them. England have, again, a lot of work to do, but let's face facts - the fun of the European championship is really in taking part, in sharing the love of sport with our friends from this great continent. It doesn't matter if your country wasn't the "best" on the day, what really matters is the lifelong friendships we make when we come together to have a friendly competition of skill. Because ultimately, we all have so much more in common that that which divides us. So great job Iceland, and good luck in the next round.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:11 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

Hodgson has resigned!!
posted by marienbad at 2:12 PM on June 27, 2016

Presser on now
posted by marienbad at 2:12 PM on June 27, 2016

Not waiting till October?
posted by Kabanos at 2:13 PM on June 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

No questions, he has gone out of the room.
posted by marienbad at 2:14 PM on June 27, 2016

Man, shortest presser ever. Should have done a Bud Dwyer as far as I am concerned. What?
posted by marienbad at 2:14 PM on June 27, 2016

"Fuck. Well, cheerio." ~ All men presiding over a disgraceful Euro exit.
posted by billiebee at 2:15 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Crouch: some of the Iceland players only play part-time.

Twitter tells me:
England's manager is paid £3.5 million a year.
Iceland's manager is a part-time dentist.
posted by Kabanos at 2:15 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]

I was just about to post hoping he went as quick as Cameron after that. Good to know he can get something right. Another leadership poison chalice doing the rounds then. There's a lot of it about at the moment.
posted by biffa at 2:18 PM on June 27, 2016

They are showing the potential next managers, none of them are fucking suitable at all.
posted by marienbad at 2:18 PM on June 27, 2016

I know you may be surprised to hear me say this, but we would probably be better off with a foreign manager.
posted by marienbad at 2:19 PM on June 27, 2016

Vote #1 quidnunc kid!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:19 PM on June 27, 2016 [8 favorites]

Just to show this is hardly a one off on the useless Hodgson front, some data. Hodgson has now managed England at 3 major tournaments and his record at them is:

4 losses: Portugal, Uruguay, Italy, Iceland
4 draws: France, Costa Rica, Russia, Slovakia
3 wins: Ukraine, Sweden, Wales

Before the 2014 World Cup he said "I believe the squad can win the World Cup." We got 1 (one) point from three games. Against Costa Rica. The fact the FA didn't boot him then points to how hard it will be to find anyone who wants the job. Difficult to see the FA going for anyone foreign in the current climate, so that doesn't leave a lot of options. Could we maybe get the quidnunc kid?
posted by biffa at 2:28 PM on June 27, 2016

well, looks like it's Viva La France then. God I hope they stuff Iceland 7-0.
posted by marienbad at 2:31 PM on June 27, 2016

I think I can get behind Iceland. Passion, commitment, they seemed to be enjoying themselves and they have good dental coverage.
posted by biffa at 2:32 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIICAN'T BELIEVE THAT ICELAND WON!!!

Also, I hurt my head jumping up and down when I bumped into the ceiling. But I very much don't care.

Holy wow, Iceland beat England in the round of 16. Excuse, I need to go find a fountain to drive around honking. Also, I need to borrow a car.

Can someone lend me a car? You can find me jumping around in the nearest water fountain.
posted by Kattullus at 2:35 PM on June 27, 2016 [10 favorites]

Go you guys!!!
posted by billiebee at 2:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Kattalus - You can borrow mine, well, keep it - if you drown me in the fountain to put me out of my misery.
posted by marienbad at 2:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

marienbad: "So the quarter finals line up is:

Poland vs Portugal
Wales vs Belgium

Germany vs Italy
France vs Iceland"

Real, actual final in bold. The rest is just so much fluff.
posted by brokkr at 2:39 PM on June 27, 2016

Yeah, Germany Italy looks well tasty.
posted by marienbad at 2:43 PM on June 27, 2016

I drew Poland and Ukraine in the office sweepstake, that is now looking slightly more hopeful than it did 2 weeks ago. Trying to find the positive is no easy matter in England this week.
posted by biffa at 2:44 PM on June 27, 2016

Hodgson really fucked this one up. Resigning is the only thing that makes sense.

Of the things in this match alone:
Taking out Dier instead of Smalling/Cahill, knowing he could play in midfield, and still hold up the defense if result changed, AND THEN forcing Rooney and Wilshire to drive the game from the back.
And Rooney... was the purpose of playing him deep down? He doesn't have the long pass, and surely lost a lot of speed to make him push the ball effectively - how many times did he stepped on or lost control of the ball? He was decent against Russia, but Russia was one of the worst teams here. The whole "square peg, round hole" exercise in futility has cost England a lot, as everyone expected.
Kane crossing free-kicks and corners. Why? He's one of the few players who matched physically against the defense. He has been playing like shit, but it also feels Hodgson is asking don't know what exactly from him.
Sterling was a joke. Rashford did more in 10 minutes than him. And, speaking of wingers, crap support for Walker/Rose. Poorly integrated into the offense where they were only called into play on the second phase, this considering they were the least awful players so far. And, Hart allowed more goals than saves. Total liability.

Although who replaces him is tricky.
TACTICS TIM!
posted by lmfsilva at 2:48 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]

LVG FOR ENGLAND
posted by Huffy Puffy at 2:48 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

Fucking Hell, Huffy Puffy, it's bad, but not that bad lol
posted by marienbad at 2:55 PM on June 27, 2016

Just watching the Norn Irn team on the local news getting a hero's welcome. Very sweet. And in stark contrast to the England team's return I imagine.
posted by billiebee at 3:12 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yes, but Northern Ireland overperformed - even just to get there was amazing, to make it as far as they did was magic. England underperformed with a team of young stars of which much was expected given the seasons they have had.
posted by marienbad at 3:45 PM on June 27, 2016

Quarter finals are 20:00 BST, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun. QF post on Weds?
posted by marienbad at 3:57 PM on June 27, 2016

Oh yeah, and when I said upthread that we should get a foreign manager, I meant one with the tactical nous to win a tournament, not one who is only interested in shagging his secretary, and TV stars.
posted by marienbad at 3:59 PM on June 27, 2016

Quarter finals are 20:00 BST, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun. QF post on Weds?

yep, sorry mate.
posted by nims at 4:43 PM on June 27, 2016

I have a sort of different perspective at these things as a Canadian who only really watches the Euros and World Cup and doesn't really pay any attention to regular professional leagues - I'm not a huge sports fan but it's fun to have a month of obsession every couple of years, especially since there are often people in my circle from a bunch of different countries.

Anyways, I wind up googling Harry Kane and find out he's actually quite good and led the Premier League in goals last season, where the impression I'd formed of him was of a sort of hapless bozo who seems to think the net is 20 feet high and 60 feet wide and he was maybe some sportocrat's shiftless nephew or something and they just kept giving him a chance because they need to suck up to the boss and the kid tries hard.

I mean, intellectually I know England have a lot of players and that anyone who made the team must be world class, but based in my four game experience can you really blame me?
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 7:29 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]

I think Iceland may have some difficulty in the World Cup qualifiers, as they will be too busy having sex with EVERYONE ELSE IN ICELAND.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:38 PM on June 27, 2016

Although who replaces him is tricky.
TACTICS TIM!


No, dammit! They need someone who isn't going to start half of Spurs for crucial matches!


Although, to be fair, his main problem was starting all of Spurs for crucial matches.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:42 PM on June 27, 2016

QF post on Weds?

I've finished a write up last night. Can post it up in a few hours if people want to move on and forget and whine about Portugal or Poland reaching the semis while Germany or Italy won't.
posted by lmfsilva at 10:44 PM on June 27, 2016

I just realized that my comment was roughly the equivalent of barging into the wake of someone who got hit by a truck and yelling: YAY TRUCKS ARE THE BEST
posted by Kattullus at 1:30 AM on June 28, 2016 [6 favorites]

No we can have a wake for the losers here first lol

BBC: England savaged by BBC pundits

BBC: Iceland's European Championship last-16 win over England "shocked the world", according to defender Kari Arnason.

Guardian: "defeat so abject it qualifies as a kind of uber-loss, humiliation that will sting even through the scar tissue of all that accumulated tournament failure."

Anyone else have their team knocked out in the last 16 and want to commiserate with me? Feel free to join in any time...
posted by marienbad at 2:14 AM on June 28, 2016

Marienbad's first link has Shearer volunteering to take the England manager role. I would like to withdraw any claim that this week could not get worse.
posted by biffa at 2:20 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

Shearer: "We are blinded by the Premier League. We think it's the best in the world for talent. It's not. We are totally reliant on foreign players and managers for excitement. We are not as good as we think we are."

It's like there's some kind of analogy there to recent events...it's on the tip of my tongue...
posted by billiebee at 2:23 AM on June 28, 2016

billiebee - found this - apparently the Iceland fans chant "ut!" Not much more info about how they sync it though, sorry.
posted by marienbad at 2:26 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

It's like there's some kind of analogy there to recent events...it's on the tip of my tongue...
posted by billiebee

The analogy fails because no-one thinks we are the best in the world, everyone can see how shit everything is.
posted by marienbad at 2:28 AM on June 28, 2016

via the Guardian - England Manager Search - Live (scroll down to 08:45):

Patrick Kielty: “Boris - probably best if you secure those borders before this England team gets home.”
posted by marienbad at 2:39 AM on June 28, 2016

Wow that Guardian piece is scathing enough that I nearly feel sorry for them.
posted by billiebee at 2:40 AM on June 28, 2016

Footage of Steve McClaren's analysis of the England game. Let's say its as good as his management skills were for England. Home video version on youtube in case the sky version is unavailable or you don't fancy the advert.
posted by biffa at 2:48 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Not much more info about how they sync it though, sorry.

You just need someone upfront with some drums. In this video you can hear them, or here before a game, in TV, I suspect they either mute or chop off frequencies so it doesn't get too distracting.

We were a tiny group (often at less than 200/game but could commandeer the whole stand around us (maybe 6000 or so in a good game) with a couple of drums and a guy with a megaphone. If the crowd is willing, they'll follow a lead easily (and why apparently the Portuguese federation has brought on two leaders - other than the national anthem, the crowd is exceptionally quiet, despite repeating "every game is a home game" because of immigrants and french-portuguese).
posted by lmfsilva at 2:56 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

OMFG! That McClaren video is amazing.
posted by marienbad at 3:31 AM on June 28, 2016

The Guardian article, some of the comments on it, and my distraught Nigerian workmate who has been cheering on England for years, all mentioned something similar: The huge amount of attention and money poured into individual English stars. E.g.:

To the media in all its forms, especially Sky Sports and BT Sport, I am sick to the back teeth of hearing you pour out the bucolic hyperbole on the individual rather than the TEAM.

Too many egos; not enough real teamwork (sometimes you watch and wonder, 'Did these guys ever play together before?'); lack of burning appetite and killer instinct; always seeming comparatively unfit in the second half; and that awful, fatal, inexplicable mode of play known, I think, as 'Tussaud's Gambit', when one player runs around and the rest ... just... stand ... there.

we simply don't have enough good players who know how to play as a team

...etc. It reminds me of the classic evolutionary experiments on laying hens which found that you get more eggs when you select for the groups of hens which are most productive rather than selecting for the individual hens which are most productive. When you select for individual hen productivity, you get aggressive, big-ego hens who try to peck each other to death and who have to be kept in individual cages. When you try to put them together, egg productivity plummets.
posted by clawsoon at 6:55 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Interesting. [insert headless chicken joke here]
posted by billiebee at 7:05 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Memes on the theme of #engxit. Some of them are pretty good, I laughed despite my misery.
posted by marienbad at 7:41 AM on June 28, 2016

Via the comments on a BBC brexit article:

Hodgson for pm, he seems to be able to get people out of Europe easily enough.
posted by marienbad at 8:00 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Anyone else have their team knocked out in the last 16 and want to commiserate with me? Feel free to join in any time...

Seeing as how Iceland stopped my team from even making it to the tourney in the first place, my commiserating is long over, sorry. That said, I'm now rooting for Iceland as a) it nicely explains away Holland's total failure, and b) it allows me to say to everyone else the four sweetest words in the English language: "I told you so."
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:13 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

David Squires cartoon commentary on England's beating.
posted by biffa at 10:58 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

So whose going to win it now that England are out? (Man, typing that with a straight face wasn't easy....)
posted by marienbad at 3:10 PM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Iceland fans send congratulations to the wrong Iceland...
posted by marienbad at 3:57 PM on June 28, 2016

England: That Free Whale Watching Trip Still Stands
posted by marienbad at 3:59 PM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Quarter Finals post.
posted by lmfsilva at 2:33 AM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]