A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Miserable Mill: Part One   Show Only 
January 15, 2017 5:05 PM - Season 1, Episode 7 - Subscribe

The children arrive at the Lucky Smells Lumber Mill and unearth some unsettling accusations about their parents, Count Olaf courts an old flame.

Plot developments:
*The orphans are put to work in the mill by Sir.
*Violet finds that nearly all the copies of 'The History of Lucky Smells Lumber Mill' have the chapter on the Paltryville Fire crossed out other than the words "The Baudelaires were entirely to blame" - Sir tears out the pages of the one un-redacted copy and throws them in the fire, but Charles secretly saves them from burning.
*Olaf convinces his old flame, Dr. Georgina Orwell, to help in his latest scheme, and she hypnotizes Klaus during his eye exam (after the foreman crushed his glasses).
*In a cruel twist of plot, Mother and Father are revealed to be the Quagmires, NOT THE BAUDELAIRES!!

Defined by Lemony Snicket this episode: out of the woods, partner, optimist, optometrist,

Inventions this episode: none


Lemony Snicket: "Out of the woods" is an expression referring to the fact that woods are dangerous places to be. In Hansel and Gretel... two siblings enter the woods and are menaced by an elderly cannibal. In Little Red Riding Hood, a wolf enters the woods and is menaced by a rude little girl. In Walden a poet enters the woods and is menaced by revelations that we should abandon civilization and live by a pond. [sighs] It is for that reason that "out of the woods" has come to mean "a return to safety, away from menace and disturbing revelations." I am sorry to say while Violet was right in that the Baudelaires were almost out of the forest... they were far from out of the woods."

Norma Rae: Did you hear about the new recruits? They're Baudelaires.
Jimmy: I hear their folks were arsonists.
Cesar: I hear they checked out library books and never returned them.
Norma Rae: I hear they drank blood from the skulls of chupacabras.
Cesar: You mean they drank from baby skulls, like chupacabras.
Norma Rae: I know what I heard.

Georgina: I swore I would never let you darken my door again. I took a solemn oath that my office would be closed to you forever, even during regular business hours.
Olaf: You're not still mad about... whatever I did.
Georgina: You left me to drown.
Olaf: Water under the bridge.
Georgina: That's where you left me.
Olaf: Are you sure that was you?
Georgina: Sorry, I have my own life now, with my own evil scheme, which I put a lot of work into and I don't need you ruining, like that bar mitzvah.

Mill signs:

Klaus: In the book The Great Gatsby, there's a famous sign shaped like a pair of eyeglasses.
Phil: Does it represent an optometrist?
Klaus: It represents the eyes of God staring down and judging society as a moral wasteland.
Phil: Well, that sounds like a fun book

Lemony Snicket: I beg you, turn this program off now. Imagine this story has a happy ending. You can pretend the woman at the door is the Duchess of Winnipeg, and she's come to throw the Baudelaires a pony party at her chateau. Or you can pretend that she's a butler with a tray of blueberry pancakes, or a loving parent that you thought you'd never see again. But if you choose to watch on, let me warn you. The misery does not end here.
posted by oh yeah! (6 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Aaaah! I fell for the 'Mother and Father' trick so hard! (maybe gonna have to go back and ask for edits on some of these posts in case I misidentified them too much). I have no idea what's going to happen in the next episode, why didn't I believe all of Mr. Snicket's warnings and the theme song? What's going to happen to poor Klaus?!

On another note, I want set design photos of all of the lumber mill safety/propaganda signs. Hidden comedy gold, I'm sure.
posted by oh yeah! at 5:10 PM on January 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

The reveal of the actual identity of the parents was almost exquisitely painful -- the first moment where the show seemed genuinely cruel to its audience, rather than cheerfully cruel to its characters.

That being said, I sort of respect it. It was a bold choice.
posted by maxsparber at 11:48 AM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]

I read the books years ago and completely forgot about the Quagmires family version of the Baudelaires. It really was a sucker punch reveal. Well Done unfortunate events team.
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 10:33 AM on January 19, 2017 [1 favorite]

What would, if taken on its face, be an enormously tragic story, is ordinarly tempered and made watchable and enjoyable by the humor and over-the-topness mixed in. But I genuinely felt pity for the Baudelaires at this exchange:

Charles: I know Sir can be prickly, but you have to understand, he had a very terrible childhood.
Klaus: I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:51 PM on January 20, 2017 [4 favorites]

"Your cruelty is as sweet as this coffee I'm dumping sugar into."
posted by isthmus at 10:15 PM on January 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

Wow I just watched this and am legit a little bit devastated at the ending. Evening, whole life, and day status: wrecked.
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:59 PM on October 30, 2017

« Older A Series of Unfortunate Events...   |  Sherlock: The Final Problem... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments