Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Later: Tigerclaw
August 7, 2017 2:09 PM - Season 1, Episode 3 - Subscribe

Josh Malina joins a very special episode in order to drop some hot knowledge bombs on our favorite reporter Lindsay. Yaron and Donna make Victor a very, very decent proposal, Courtney shows off her multi-instrumentalism, and Katie & Andy windsurf off into destiny, but are just friends.

CHANNEL 5 NEWS AT NOON! While her coworkers discuss the ins and outs of that miracle fruit Pineapple, Flash Reporter Lindsay reads over copy about "dapper cuts for dapper pups" - but that dog won't hunt! She's got her eyes on the red-meatier stories like the recent dissolution of the Warsaw Pact, but producer Dave knows what the people want: Shiny Happy News from a Smiling Lindsay. But when a gravel-voiced Josh Malina calls her up and asks her to meet in a parking garage, she knows what she's gonna find there parked between the Astro-Wagons and Miatas: Professional Respect!


CAMP FIREWOOD! Beth is despondent, having opened her house for an open house but without any looky-loos. Mitch would like for her to reconsider, but just in the nick of time (for Mrs. Burkhart) Mrs. Burkhart arrives with a tempting offer from a "very motivated buyer." Beth caves, and Mrs. Burkhart lets Mr. Bojangles know that the camp will be his within the hour.

The Beekeeper greets the mid-day with the arts and crafts for us all. Donna interrupts some critical hay-stick-making, but she's never been one to abide by traditional decorum. Hi, Donna! Abby and Claire are surprised to see Donna and Yaron, but Abby brought a copy of their relationship videos to sign anyway. Abby Bernstein: follows through on promises; comes prepared. Go Team Abby.

(Those tapes, by the way: just this weekend, friends & family discount, $79.99 and that comes with a rainy day notebook and a signed copy of the poster.)

JJ is filming camp stuff, like Mark and Nurse Nancy secretly meeting behind a haystack and Claire walking over to talk to JJ. JJ puts the camera down at her insistence and then faces a Moral Quandary. Reveal what he knows about Mark's dalliances - which would be self-serving and a betrayal of Mark's trust - or keep them a secret - which would validate Mark's trust and also go against JJ's self-interest, making it the mark of the true correct action. The falsehoods on Mark's behalf become more difficult for JJ to maintain once Mark and Nurse Nancy start loudly fucking by that haystack, but JJ sticks to his guns.

Some kid is scarfing down cookies and another child (apparently named Douche, going by context clues) warns him to not be the next "Willie Shits-His-Pants." First child doesn't know the story, so Deegs urges Douche to recite it. It all feels like so much filler, to be honest.

Donna and Yaron (whose tapes, it should be mentioned, look very good) approach Victor while he's benchpressing a camper 100 times. On Victor's bug juice break they explained that he is strong, they have been taking stock of him, and that they'd like his assistance in creating a life.

Claire, Mark, Katie and Andy are still grousing about Beth selling the camp when Andy punches Mark, and then "color" me shocked: Katie apparently knows something! Specifically about who might have enough money to buy the camp. Only Andy can windsurf good and fast enough, though, so the duo takes flight across the lake, to...

CAMP TIGERCLAW! Which has added a lovely fake waterfall sometime in the last eight years that Andy really takes issue with. Inside the mess hall, Courtney's recital is about to start (she's on harp and has truly gotten a lot better) but a friendly Blake finds our industrious duo and, upon hearing they've got something important to talk about, is all ears. Hmm. Courtney moves to washboard and horn. Hmm.

Donna and Yaron explain that Yaron's seed is arid, harsh and lifeless, and that Donna is ovulating this very moment, so there's really no time to lose in terms of Victor and Donna having reproductive coitus. Victor seems concerned.

Lindsay arrives at the parking garage and finds Josh Malina's hiding spot. It is at this point when the two of them have an opportunity to do a good turn in helping out a couple who can't find their LeSabre, but choose to yell at the couple instead. Bad neighbor or no, Josh gives Lindsay an address to track down, telling her that all of her questions will be answered there.

After a rousing drum solo from Courtney, Blake, Andy and Katie join Harry Crane and the Other One to discuss the sale of the camp. Blake is capable of the long view: if a buyer is snatching up Firewood today, it's Tigerclaw tomorrow, and they don't want to be a Blockburster Verdio. Courtney moves to solo harmonizing, which is really quite thrilling.

As Blake, Harry Crane, and the Other One discuss a proposal, Katie and Andy explain that they are just friends who don't fuck, though there is some spirited debate on the finer points of that. Returning to the fold, Blake announces that they will save Camp Firewood. Huzzah!

And not a moment too soon, either, as Beth is just about to sign Mrs. Burkhart's contract when the new alliance bursts through her door with a new plan: Blake buys Camp Firewood. And doesn't change a thing.For one hundred thousand dollars. Which is, according to most mathematicians, significantly less than ten million dollars. But it buys Beth peace of mind, which isn't something she can otherwise attain.

Down but not out, Mrs. Burkhart heads for the kitchen, thinking herself both down and out. She twists and turns a series of tongs and ladles that we all hope the chef doesn't have any use for, and lets a secret elevator carry her down to the bunker - all under the watchful eye of one very sneaky can of vegetables.

Mrs Burkhart attempts to offer Mr. Bojangles her resignation, but that's when the penny finally drops: all of this time, Team Tigerclaw has been playing both sides! Reagan managed to score the camp for $9,900,000 less than Burkhart's asking price, and nobody's the wiser save for Mitch, who they all now notice and start chasing.

He beats them to the dumbwaiter. He beats them out the door. He hies like hell and never stops until they reach the end. The falls. The big drop. Harry Crane and the Other One corner Mitch until he has no choice but to jump for those unforgiving rapids below. Of course, nobody could survive that, and it's not worth Harry Crane and the Other One's thirty seconds to confirm that Mitch didn't. Which he did, you guys.

He totally did.

Random notes: "That old man knocked over your bug juice, Betsy!"

Hot Damn that Tigerclaw salute.
posted by Navelgazer (2 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
It's nice to know that my unthinking, knee-jerk mistrust of Camp Tigerclaw was well justified.
posted by ckape at 10:18 AM on August 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

Camp Tigerclaw.

*Two cravats.*

I laughed so hard I cried, got a stich and laugh/cried some more.
posted by Faintdreams at 1:36 AM on October 3, 2017

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