Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Later: King of Camp
August 9, 2017 12:33 PM - Season 1, Episode 5 - Subscribe

Arty misses the thrilling conclusion to the King of Camp Challenge! Blake redrafts a contract! And Elizabeth finds some answers to some questions and some questions that might need a few answers!

THE MESS HALL! Who's bad? Andy, mostly. With his eight years in a row of King of Camp victories that he surely doesn't care about, nobody could roughly those cool-ass feathers. But what's this?! Sounds like "Nobody" just came a knockin'! With a hamburger, ostensibly thrown towards the trash-can next to Andy but Deegs doesn't seem very sincere with that story. Andy lays it out for Deegs: where he comes from, Charlie ain't nothin' at all. No chance. Deegs flips him the double-barreled bird and karate chops somebody else's table in half, leading to Andy invoking the rarely utilized ยง6(B)(4)(d)(ii), a.k.a the KING OF CAMP CHALLENGE! It's enough to make Mark look up from his Macaroni & Cheese Two Ways.

In the overlap of the Venn Diagram of Mad Max and the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow, you'll find the crowd assembled at the Klaxon Call of the King of Camp Challenge, and everyone is ready to go. At least Andy says he is. Bust do those eyes betray a hint of trepidation?


Beth is really pulling off her Native American/Steampunk vibe while she explains that, though we be a civilized people, there is still a time for combat. The gnashing, drooling crowd is plainly here for the latter, and the gong is rung: Potato Sack Race Time! Just the first of many grueling and barbaric facets of the KoCC.

Back in the Mess Hall again, Susie is remaining where she said she'd be, waiting for Garth to finish his call. But that just makes her a prime target for the verbal sparring techniques of-


-Logan St. Clair. They argue about home economics and whether it's possible for anyone to love Susie, but Logan has places to be. Susie seems unhappy, somehow. Donna and Yaron run into Victor out on the ... quad? Let's call it a quad? She's gonna be in the infirmary at 7:45. He feels pressured. Yaron says some wonderful things.

Victor busts into Bunk Eight to really think things over, when he awakens a napping Neil! He really went for it! It's clear that, with a lifetime of trust and sycophancy built up between them, Neil is aware of Victor's tragic condition. But even if Victor's dick is all thumbs, as he claims, it's not supposed to chew gum, and Neil might have a word or two of advice.

The score is tied 3-3 after four events (somehow?) so Andy and Deegs run straight for the dizzy-bat and egg-and-spoon races. Katie gets a bit too familiar with Coop for Ginny's liking, but I guess she doesn't know what inappropriate flirting looks like either. Ginny puts the boot down: Coop hangs out with Katie, Coop watches Ginny walk right out of this Camp and his life. Forever.

Speaking of forever, McKinley is just about a thousand percent certain that Renata plans to murder him or Ashley or Ben or somebody, and has Ms. "Fifty-Fifty" Claire accompany him to his cabin, where they find that Renata has cut McKinley out of all of his and Ben's photos. Not lookin' great!

Meanwhile... VICTOR GETS A MAKEOVER! With a Ross-from-Friends Caesar cut and light blue jeans with the cuffs rolled up and a tucked-in black turtleneck and a gold chain, the good people at Barbizon have really nailed what I probably thought I wanted to look like when I was about 12.

Claire and Ben come across Renata having a phone conversation neither of them can hear, but we can, and it sounds like 2:00 is the babykillin' hour! They split up, and Claire looks for Ben in Bunk Eight (though Ben isn't staying in Bunk Eight and I feel like Claire should know that) when she comes across Mark's open bag. That's clearly suspicious enough for her to go digging inside looking for a fuckbook or something, which is of course what she finds. It's the usual stuff, for the most part, though there is a bit about possibly ruining Lindsay's hardwood floors that doesn't make it into the voiceover. Nevertheless, Claire takes it pretty hard, and won't hear any of Mark's complete lack of excuses or arguments blaming his actions on her independence. She's gone, Mark. She's gone.

Lindsay has the address Joshua Malina gave her, and whether Dax Shepard wants what she's selling or not, she's gonna get her hand or foot in the door. KoCC Continues unabated as the two contenders improvise dueling songs about dinosaurs and Deegs gets the points even though Andy's composition was clearly more mature, layered, and delved deeper into the subject matter.

Ginny's gonna go back to the bunks and get her sunblock (is she staying in Bunk Eight or Bunk Six? For that matter, where is Garth staying? Guess we'll find out later tonight, eh?) and entrusts Coop with her first test of trust, regarding the Katie thing. So Katie's there and wants to talk pretty much immediately, just as Bush and Reagan predicted, and Coop explains how that really goes against Ginny's rule about not doing that. Thankfully, Katie thinks up a clever scheme to get around that, because apparently homewrecking is where her true talents lie, andconvinces COop to meet her in the goat barn in an hour.

Lindsay makes herself at home with a paranoid Dax Shepard and a catatonic old lady in a rocking chair and manages to get a "him" out of him before Dax's wife, presumably this "Kristen Bell" I've heard so much about, comes home. While Dax and Kristen discuss this media interloper ruining their lives and safety, the catatonic old woman springs to life to instruct Lindsay on her bathroom needs. Kristen wants Lindsay out of there, but Kristen convinces her of her emergency bath-needing and gets to work. SHe tears apart the bathroom, Columbia Journalism style, and sits on the toilet dejected before seeing a fateful picture: Camp Firewood, 1921, and there in the center (but listed last in the names for some reason)? Ronnie Reagan. Now she needs to know everything. And Kristen probably needs to put down the groceries.

Huh. Looks like Garth was staying in Bunk Six after all, which means Ginny's presumably in Bunk Eight with all dem rowdy boys! That'll be fun! Susie finds Garth there, in Bunk Six, and he has great news. Billy Baldwin dropped out of The Neptune Effect and now Garth has a chance to become the new Billy Baldwin and you don't pass that up. So that's eight months in Budapest with no plane ticket for Susie and, well... at least Susie gives him a nice smile before he goes.

28-28, dead heat! The Hot Pepper showdown doesn't give us much in terms of who's ahead, but it does show us a lot of half-chewed food in people's mouths! Victor and Neil work on some killer sex moves, like "scoop-a-doop" and saying neither "hi" nor "goodbye." It looks like he's prepared!

McKinley finds Ben at the horse stable to tell him about his findings: Renata is a psychotic-ass crazy bitch-ass psycho! Enter Renata, of course, with McKinley's favorite carrot cake and a surprise party, like people do for their anniversaries. Renata explains that "Kill the Baby is a very good swingband from Asheville NC and stabs the cake pretty skillfully, but Arty and Ben are very disappointed with McKinley. Ben still gives him a nice candlestick for a present, but something is broken there that can never be repaired.

Final Event: Man on Fire. Andy barely loses.

Beth wishes she could do something, but nothing can spare Andy from his ass-paddling perpwalk down the soul train of shame. He protests to Deegs that he should have won, but Deeg commands his peon to cry in his bunk about it. Andy complies.

In the Camp Director's office, Beth is ready to sign over the camp to the we-now-realize-villainous Blake, but wants to give him something first - the rudimentary sickle-chucks with which he fought alongside Camp Firewood ten years and one summer previously. (note: I'm sure these have a more elegant name. If anyone knows it, please PM me. My D&D game needs your help.) Blake has what looks a lot like a crisis of conscience and takes the papers back for redrafting, hurrying Harry Crane and the Other One along as well.

Back at the Kill the Baby party, Ben finds Renata and eats a heaping spoonful of crow, but Renata is more than willing to forgive him. What's more, she assures him that he's actually right about her plans, even though now nobody will believe him. Unable to count his blessings, McKinley chooses to focus on that last part.

Random Notes: That Note. With the address on it.
posted by Navelgazer (5 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Renata is very good at cutting cake.
posted by ckape at 6:38 PM on August 9, 2017 [4 favorites]

No new recap today, as these take forever and "Rain" is a longer-than-normal episode with way more happening in it than any other. New recaps soon, though!
posted by Navelgazer at 3:31 PM on August 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

These recaps are seriously amazing!
posted by ssmith at 5:55 PM on August 10, 2017

This episode was beginning to wear a bit, honestly, but then we had the amazing Sex Class montage followed by crazy nanny, and all was well.
posted by duffell at 6:43 PM on August 10, 2017

I just need you to do the next recap quickly because I still haven't got over the bit about the hair conditioner.
posted by h00py at 8:45 AM on August 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

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