Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEVIL FISH Rewatch Season 9, Ep 11
Rewatch! Someone gave the military the money to breed killer deadly mutant fish, and they do! Funny that. A bunch of people eventually kill it, but not before many of their own number are themselves killed. This is one of those movies that suffers from the necessity of editing out scenes of gore and violence, as it removes several important deaths from the film. This is also the movie where, as one male cast member is climbing down a ladder above the camera, a certain globular piece of male anatomy slips out from his shorts, to the horror of our hosts. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE FINAL SACRIFICE Rewatch Season 9, Ep 10
Re-rewatch! Another fan favorite, unlikely hero Zap Rowsdower and dorky teen Troy on on a road trip to upset the diabolical machinations of... uh, a diabolic machinator. He has a name but honestly it's hard to remember much beyond Rowsdower. He had his own song on YouTube which I had linked to in past posts, but apparently the rights owner to the movie is No Fun and had it taken down. Boo, Tjardus Greidanus! Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. JIGER Season 13, Ep 7
aka "Gamera tai Daimaju Jaiga," "Gamera vs. Monster X," "Monsters Invade Expo '70." Everyone's favorite humongous turtle and Friend to Children protects Expo 70, being held in Japan, from a monster attack. Did you ever want to know what Gamera looked like from the inside? Stay tuned. It's not a rewatch this time! Jonah and his bots go up against one of the few Showa-era Gamera movies not done back during the Comedy Central era. And furthermore, I hear they were required to show this one uncut, so get ready for the longest episode of MST3K to date, clocking in at over two hours! Premiered July 22, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GORGO Rewatch Season 9, Ep 9
Rewatch! It's Godzilla in the UK! A couple of guys capture a giant sea lizard and show it at a carnival, not realizing it's just a baby, and its mum is pissed. Leonard Maltin shows up in host segments. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE TOUCH OF SATAN Rewatch Season 9, Ep 8
Rewatch! A bit of a sleeper, it's the story of a young drifter who falls in love with a lady he meets by a lake who tells him, "this is where the fish lives." Being kind of dim, he immediately falls in love with her, and, surprise!, she's a Satan follower. Not in the sense of being a cultist, she just sort of "is" one. The fish does not appear to enter into it. She's over a hundred but looks young; her murderous sister is over a hundred and looks older. There's a couple of people they stay with who I think also have the mangoat on their contact lists, although in an even more vague way than the knower of fish residence. An odd movie. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HOBGOBLINS Rewatch Season 9, Ep 7
Re-rewatch! "It's the 80s; do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan!" "Meet the Hobgoblins: Frankie, Sniffles, Bounce-Bounce, and The Claw!" "Paint my muscle car prune color, please!" "Wow this is a really well planned-out make-out spot. They must get public funding." "I would not want Pig Liquor." "Watch out, you little doodad!" Really, what can you do with those hobgoblins? Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SPACE CHILDREN Rewatch Season 9, Ep 6
Rewatch! A benevolent blob from outer space gives Earth kids unearthly powers in order to prevent war. It contains Jackie "Uncle Fester" Coogan! Has the short Century 21 Calling, which is set at the Chicago World's Fair and tries to get us excited about the future of landline phones. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEADLY BEES Rewatch Season 9, Ep 5
Rewatch! Bees are on the rampage in the UK, and a singer in the country for a rest cure tries to figure out why they're killing people, while the British bureaucracy churns away trying to send someone to investigate. An odd movie with a very weird moment right at the end. In subplot news, the other Observers show up and try to get Brain Guy to go off with them to observe things. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: WEREWOLF Rewatch Season 9, Ep 4
Re-rewatch! The desert is home to many mysteries. Like people turning into dog people by the light of the silvery moon, the many mispronunciations of "Werewolf," Joe Estevez, and what's up with that guy in the house with the beard. A time-traveler from the old Klondike? (turns down lights, shines flashlight under my face) Whoooo can saaaay? This episode's a fan favorite, with song "Where oh Werewolf?" and the "Tusk!" bit over the closing credits. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PUMAMAN Rewatch Season 9, Ep 3
Re-rewatch! A fan favorite (it was first in our informal poll of the best MST3K episodes), The Pumaman is the story of a guy who gets thrown out of a window by an Aztec priest and survives, and so he has to stop Donald Pleasence from taking over the world. He has practically no feline characteristics, but that's okay, because his powers don't seem very pumoid anyway. He can fly, sort of? It's certainly not Superman-level flying. It's more dangling-from-a-baby's-mobile kind of flying. It's nearly a perfect movie for riffing. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PHANTOM PLANET Rewatch Season 9, Ep 2
Rewatch! An astronaut ends up on a distant asteroid and is shrunk down to the size of its inhabitants, joins their society, but then it's all destroyed. So uplifting! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PROJECTED MAN Rewatch Season 9, Ep 1
Rewatch! A scientist invents a teleporter and tests it on himself. He doesn't turn into a fly or get stuck halfway out a wall, which I understand are the usual fates for those who tamper in physical law, but instead becomes a mutated monster with a deadly touch. He could have just gotten up to get the remote control like a normal person, but oh well! Lembach is staying! Pearl & henchpeople & the SOL end up in present day Earth, above an ominously familiar castle. Oh no, Lembach is going! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK Rewatch Season 8, Ep 22
Re-rewatch! A supremely goofy movie that doesn't make much sense, with an excellent actor (Raul Julia), some sub-Doctor Who special effects, and great riffing combine to make a classic episode! It's the last episode of Season 8. Technically Pearl is still chasing the SOL but that's kind of forgotten to make room for one of the best sequences of host segments the show ever did, where Pearl creates a completely spurious public television telethon. And don't forget: get your monkeys, instantly, at Instant Monkeys Online! Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TIME CHASERS Rewatch Season 8, Ep 21
Re-rewatch! A guy invents a time machine using a small airplane and an 8-bit computer, but sells the tech to EvilCo. Good job! It's quaint that the movie believes a person working on his own without vast resources could invent something that a huge corporate behemoth couldn't. The roman times subplot is over on the SOL, this and the next episode are just sort of "in space" before we reach Castle Forrester in Season 9. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SPACE MUTINY Rewatch Season 8, Ep 20
Re-rewatch! Slab Bulkhead! Fridge Largemeat! Punt Speedchunk! Butch Deadlift! Bold Bigflank! Splint Chesthair! Flint Ironstag! Bolt Vanderhuge! Thick McRunfast! Blast Hardcheese! Previously and again. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: INVASION OF THE NEPTUNE MEN Rewatch Season 8, Ep 19
Rewatch! Preposterous robots from space attack the Earth, and only Space Chief and some kids can save us. Uses stock footage of aerial bombardment of Japan to represent the attack. Prince of Space was the light-side of Japanese filmmaking in Season 8. This one is the dark side. It's a difficult film to make it through. I think it should be noted that some people think Mike and the bots' commentary on Japan crosses the line of acceptability in this one. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEVIL DOLL Rewatch Season 8, Ep 18
Rewatch! Dr. Vorelli is a real piece of work. He's a sinister hypnotist who performs on stage in front of audiences, but seems to hate it. He hates puppets but has one in his act. But it turns out the puppet is actually a person who's mind he's put into a ventriloquist dummy somehow. He taunts him mercilessly for some reason, dangling hopes of forbidden ham before him. It's not clear why. I guess evil is its own reward? On and about the SOL, Pearl and company are still in Roman times, looking for Bobo. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH Rewatch Season 8, Ep 17
Re-rewatch! Monsters created by radiation lumber ashore to attack the population of old teenagers. Their savior? As always, the magic metal: SODIUM. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: PRINCE OF SPACE Rewatch Season 8, Ep 16
Re-rewatch! We've come back around again to Prince of Space, constructed out of two episodes of the old Japanese TV show Planet Prince. Our only hope against the birdish-men of planet Krankor, and their dastardly Phantom, is Prince of Space! Who works as a bootblack in a Japanese city! Unlike Underdog, he doesn't need to swallow a Proton Energy Pill, but just put on his costume and exclaim "Your weapons are useless!" It's a fan favorite episode. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: AGENT FOR H.A.R.M. Rewatch Season 8, Ep 15
Rewatch! A spy tries to stop the release of a dangerous flesh-eating bacterium. I don't think this was intended to be a spoof, although the title makes it seem like it must be one. This is the episode where Mike is taken to Space Court for blowing up all those planets. Notably, Patrick Brantseg takes over performing the big purple robot with this episode. It's also the first episode Mike directed! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: RIDING WITH DEATH Rewatch Season 8, Ep 14
Re-rewatch! A guy can turn invisible and kind of is a spy, and gets involved in two episodic adventures, as a truck driver and a race pit crewman. Another guy known as "Buffalo Bill" helps both times. This movie is made from two installments of the 70s TV show Gemini Man, which only got a pilot and 11 episodes, and of those only five were aired. The second episode in the movie is among the unaired ones. If someone knows the whereabouts of Robert Denby please inform Ben Murphy's nebulously-defined government agency immediately. BTW, Ben Murphy, the lead in this movie, is still alive as of this writing at the age of 80. Congrats to him! Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: JACK FROST Rewatch Season 8, Ep 13
Re-rewatch! In the colder reaches of the north live Russian Cinderella figure Nastinka, complete with cruel godmother and step-sister, and the oafish Ivanushka. They have various folklorical adventures like encountering bandits, being forced to do all the house chores, meeting Father Mushroom, getting turned into a bear and back, meeting Father Frost, outwitting Baba Yaga, being turned into ice and back, and eventually getting married. Fairy tale life is certainly eventful. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR Rewatch Season 8, Ep 11
Re-rewatch! The evil organization of this movie raises dumb clones of important people, like senators, to serve as sources of spare body parts. It was the kind of movie premise that seemed plausible in 1979, I guess. What happens when the senator gets voted out? Costs a lot of money to keep a clone in feed when it might not even be needed. In subplot news, Pearl and minions babysit a trio of god children. Previously, and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION Rewatch Season 8, Ep 10
It's a re-rewatch of savings at Menards! A terrible person finds the egg of a space-spider, and finds out it's full of diamond-like crystals. Also, he's awful to his wife, he's one of the more loatheable characters in MST history. The spider eventually kills the guy and goes on to terrorize the town. Packers win the Super Bowl, whooo! It's a fun episode. In subplot news, it's pod people time. Previously and again.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF Rewatch Season 8, Ep 9
Rewatch! Not as terrible a movie as usually featured on the show, this has Michael Landon as the titular preadult dogboy. Much later, he'd return to the role, in a way, in the Highway to Heaven episode I Was a Middle-Aged Werewolf. In continuity, Pearl, Bobo and new accompanier Brain Guy are on "camping world." Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SHE-CREATURE Rewatch Season 8, Ep 8
Rewatch! Because in the 50s even our creatures had to be obviously gendered. A lady is hypnotized and, as all hypnotized people do, summons a lobster woman. It's the last episode on Observer World before Mike destroys it. Oops! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE UNDEAD Rewatch Season 8, Ep 6
Rewatch! We've seen a lot of silly depictions of hypnosis, but in this one a couple of people use it to go back in time. A lady is regressed to a past life where she was falsely accused of witchcraft. The hypnotist goes back too (he had a past life that knew her?) to try to change events. Getting mixed up in things is a real witch, a gravedigger with a whimsical (if gross) lyrical sense, and Satan himself. In the "story arc," we're on Observer world still. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000 Rewatch Season 8, Ep 7
Rewatch! Scientists invent a time machine. Lady comes from the future, where apparently most people are sterile, in order to take fertile men back with her. If there's anything these movies have taught me, it's that the future causes impotency. But she kills a nurse in order to take her place, because the future causes psychopathy too. In the show's "plot," we're still in Observer world. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE THING THAT COULDN'T DIE Rewatch Season 8, Ep 5
Rewatch! Oh this one's rich. Buried in a box somewhere in the old west is an Evil Head. A psychically sensitive young woman finds it and immediately becomes its mind-controlled minion, and about 50% sluttier because we all know Evil Heads yearn to possess young women so that they can get it on by proxy. Eventually it manipulates the other people on the dude ranch (they have about 100 head of dude) to uncover the rest of its body and reunite the two, which seal together making it whole sure why not. Sadly, it then is knocked over and re-croaks, this time permanently, about 20 seconds later. So much for the power of evil. In the words of Paul Chaplin: "Alternate title: The Thing That Died." In the subplot, it's Observer Time. Previously.