54 posts tagged with kinga.
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Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CHRISTMAS DRAGON  Season 13, Ep 13

"A Magical Journey to Save Christmas." This supposed kids movie opens with a kid's parents getting killed by a dragon. Merry Christmas! But wait, this is a fantasy world, with magic and dragons, do they have their own version of Jesus? In theme it can't decide if it wants to be Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, but whatever it is it went straight to DVD. Joel, Jonah and Emily hatch a daring plan to escape from Kinga's captivity, but they'll need a little help from an unlikely source. We're at the end of Season 13, and with it we're once again at the end of our trip through all of MST3K. Please see inside. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Aug 3, 2023 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BUBBLE  Season 13, Ep 12

"A visual science fiction experience that will boggle your mind." "SPACE VISION a step beyond 3-D" This is one of those movies that makes nonsensical and arbitrary things happen, but tries to excuse it by passing them off as mysterious. Well duh, anything's a mystery if there's no possible explanation for it! A plane with three people (one of the a pregnant woman) is downed by a storm, but ends up inside a huge hollow chamber with invisible walls, in which live zombie-like people who go through the motions of their lives. Like The Mask, this was made for 3D, so there's a bunch of in-your-face effects. Unlike that film though, only the 2D version is riffed on here. Joel riffs this one! The subplot has Jonah, Emily and Joel planning their escape, through the gimmick that the Mads, for some reason, can't hear anything spoken in rhyme. I like the episode, but the movie basically just toys with its characters throughout, until the unexpectedly happy ending. Premiered November 11, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 27, 2023 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MASK  Season 13, Ep 11

"THIS IS THE MASK!" (picture of 3D glasses with an angular look) "YOU WILL BE GIVEN ONE ON ENTERING THE THEATRE. YOU WILL BE TOLD WHEN TO LOOK THROUGH IT. When you do, it will make you part of the desire-fuming brain of a monstrous genius of insanity. You will live with the living dead. You will share what no living person has known before." "The greatest thrill since you first saw a picture move! LOOK THROUGH YOUR MASK... IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT... TAKE IT OFF! The management is not responsible for nervous breakdowns!" Well, huh. That text is from the poster. Evidently, the 'unknown knowledge' and 'greatest thrill' are cheap optical effects... presented in THREE-DEE!! The movie itself has to do with a guy, who is NOT Jim Carrey, driven to suicide by the things his mask shows him, and his psychiatrist, who decides to see what all this insanity is about for himself. This one is NOT a rewatch! Well it is, but I neglected to make posts for the last three episodes in Season 13, so we're going with first-time posts now! It premiered October 22, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 20, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: H.G. WELLS' THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 10

Rewatch! In space, things happen. There's a plague and Jack Palance is evil, and at one point his holographic head is gigantic and rotating over the landscape of an alien planet, and there's a really annoying robot that can teleport wherever it wants it seems. H.G. Wells fans, well, won't actually have much to enjoy here, the movie's kind of dull and doesn't really have much to do with his writing. The movie's a mess. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jul 13, 2023 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MILLION EYES OF SU-MURU  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 9

Rewatch! The only person who can save us from Su-Muru's dastardly army of (gasp) WOMEN is Frankie Avalon. From the creator of Fu-Manchu and the producer of many of the Fu movies, so caffeine is a must for this one. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jul 6, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BATWOMAN  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 8

Rewatch! Not The Wild Wild World Of, this is just The Batwoman. In fact, The Mexican The Batwoman. She follows the natural career upgrade path south of the border, from luchador to superhero. Her mission is to stop a mad scientist from creating a race of fish people. Bats and fish: natural enemies. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 29, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. JIGER  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 7

Rewatch! We return to the life and times of our favorite flying giant turtle monster. Gamera protects Expo '70, held in Japan that year, from a monster attack. This is the longest MST3K episode of all, since they were required by the licensor not to cut it. It's also been less than a year since the first time we saw it. It's one of a small number of the first generation of Gamera films that the original run of the show didn't cover. (Another is Vs. Viras.) Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 22, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEMON SQUAD  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 6

Rewatch! Joel Robinson returns to the SOL to riff this movie about a private paranormal investigator who works the seedy demonic underworld of Mobile, Alabama. It's a bit like Constantine, and while it's very low budget it's a fun movie! Released in 2019, at the moment this is the most recent movie MST3K has done. Of particular note, a couple of months ago the makers held a Kickstarter to make a sequel and appealed to MSTies to help fund it, and they were successful! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 15, 2023 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DOCTOR MORDRID  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 5

Rewatch! Emily and her bots are handed this Doctor Strange knockoff (word is it was originally written as a Strange movie), where an occult wizard guy, who also owns an apartment building in New York, fights evil by the behest of a pair of giant eyes. Not actually too bad, this is one of a genre of MST movie I like to call a very indie film, although not nearly as indie as something like Manos or Carnival Magic. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 8, 2023 - 2 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: MUNCHIE  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 4

Rewatch! While a sequel to the horror movie Munchies, Munchie has little to do with it, and isn't even a horror movie, but a fantasy comedy about a kid who gets a magic gremlin-like pal, voiced by Dom DeLuise, who tries to help him out but keeps messing things up. This is a notably bad movie, compounded by terrible special effects for Munchie. Good luck with this one. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 1, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: BEYOND ATLANTIS  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 3

Rewatch! Some ne'er-do-wells seek to steal a fortune in priceless pearls from a island tribe who are the last remnants of an undersea race. Things don't go well, but at least everyone is laughing in the end! A highlight of the season, the movie starring Sid Haig as archetypal scumbag East Eddie. Previously.
posted by JHarris on May 25, 2023 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ROBOT WARS  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 2

Rewatch! One of a dwindling number to go at this point. It's one of those sci-fi movies whose grand vision of the future is largely today but like with multinational consortiums and giant robots. There's even a major location that's just a normal town circa the movie's making, passed off as a preserved ghost town and tourist location. Warning, there's an appallingly misogynistic character who's intended by the movie to be seen as a lovable scamp. Feh, meh, pleh, bleah. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 17, 2023 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA  Rewatch   Season 13, Ep 1

Rewatch! When Dracula threatens to revive and threaten the world of the living, who can stand against him? That's right, El Santo, the famed luchador, and his time machine. Roughly half of the movie is an extended flashback that could almost work as a Hammer-style horror movie, but then we return to the present and a wrestling match plays a pivotal role in the plot, of course. Episode 1301 is the first episode of the Gizmoplex era. It's only been a year since the original Fanfare post on this episode. Previously. We have gotten word that there will be a Season 14, but we have no details at this point.
posted by JHarris on May 11, 2023 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE  Rewatch   Season 12, Ep 6

Rewatch! Remember Cave Dwellers? Before Cave Dwellers there was Ator: The Fighting Eagle. This movie. The only character the films have in common is Ator, played by a sizable quantity of O'Keefe. The generic fantasy setting seems to be mostly different too, similar, but modulated differently. Ator's love interest/sister gets newted in a flashback in Cave Dwellers, so don't get too wrapped up in her fate here. Other than that it's standard barbarian-type shlock, a bit more skin and pseudo-Conan lore on display than in Cave Dwellers, and it moves a little faster. It's the last episode of (beat) The Gauntlet, the end of Season 12, and the end of the Netflix era. Previously.
posted by JHarris on May 4, 2023 - 0 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: KILLER FISH  Rewatch   Season 12, Ep 5

Rewatch! The penultimate episode of "The Gauntlet," MST3K's abbreviated 12th season, and second Netflix season. It's jewel thieves vs piranhas this time. In the episode's plot (there kind of is one), Dr. Erhardt is back and seeks to scatter the ashes of Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank in outer space. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 27, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DAY TIME ENDED  Rewatch   Season 12, Ep 4

Rewatch! Some things happen, or do they? One of the most nonsensical movies in Mystery Science Theater 3000's ancient pantheon of nonsense. As oneswellfoop wrote, "It's like all the temporal paradoxes over the entire run of Doctor Who, Quantum Leap, DC's Legends of Tomorrow, Irwin Allen's Time Tunnel, the Back to the Future movies and the episode of Babylon 5 where Babylon 4 reappeared all converged on one isolated location and didn't have clue what to do next so they ordered pizza." The episode has the return of J. Elvis Weinstein as Dr. Erhardt! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 20, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: LORDS OF THE DEEP  Rewatch   Season 12, Ep 3

Rewatch! People find a hyperintelligent lifeform in the ocean, and it's turning people into blobs! The opinions from MeFites the last time this one came up ran the gamut. Some were happy that it was a genuinely bad movie instead of a knockoff like 1201 and 2; someone mention that is a knockoff, of The Abyss; some liked it; some found it DULL. There's a fun during-movie song in this one, with a psychedelic tone.Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 13, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ATLANTIC RIM  Rewatch   Season 12, Ep 2

Rewatch! The Asylum is an infamous studio I'm a bit conflicted about. It's true, I've seen a lot of their films, despite finding it challenging to make it through a lot of them. Many of them aren't what I'd call good. But they continue to make movie after movie, even after all this time, despite it being a difficult craft, doggedly doing what they want no matter what people tell them. I admire that. And they made Z Nation, which people generally liked. Well, this is more typical of their output: a movie based loosely upon, and named similarly to, a big-budget movie, released straight to disk. This one has pretty unlikable characters. It's the second movie of "The Gauntlet," MST3K's short 12th season. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Apr 6, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: MAC AND ME  Rewatch   Season 12, Ep 1

Rewatch! A disturbingly malleable, bubble-gum-like alien and their family get stuck on Earth and befriend a wheelchair-riding boy in this notable box-office failure. Chris Pratt seems to like it though! Season 12 ties Season 7 for the shortest season of MST3K. This is the first episode of "The Gauntlet," a series of MST3K episodes designed to be binged, although that'd be over nine hours of riffed film, so good luch surviving that. Unlike the previous episodes, I only posted each MST3K episode from Season 12 once, so less of a retread this time! Previously.
posted by JHarris on Mar 30, 2023 - 8 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: AT THE EARTH'S CORE  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 14

Re-rewatch! Once again, it's the last episode of Season 11, the first Netflix season. People go to the center of Edgar Rice Burroughs Earth and meet dinos and cavefolk. It's Growler's first episode, and the episode of Kinga's ratings-stunt marriage that never ends up happening. It ends on a kind of cliffhanger, but Jonah's okay, he's outside the SOL in a space suit. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Mar 23, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CHRISTMAS THAT ALMOST WASN'T  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 13

Re-rewatch! Santa is gonna be put out on the streets (floes?) by his landlord, a Mr. Prune, unless Mr. Whipple can save him. Don't squeeze the Charmin! Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Mar 16, 2023 - 2 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: CARNIVAL MAGIC  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 12

Re-resuffer! Welcome back to the "Manos" of Season 11: Carnival Magic. Alex the chimp can talk, sorta-kinda, but not about anything interesting. His owner Markov is a cut-rate magician and hypnotist that for some reason everyone seems to deeply respect or despise. Probably the worst movie of Season 11, and one of the worst ever made. But at least Mark Hamill appears in this episode in a host segment! Previously and (ugh) again.
posted by JHarris on Mar 8, 2023 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM II  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 11

Re-rewatch! In contrast to the movie of the previous episode, which was quirky and had interesting characters, this movie is sometimes cited as one of the worst of Season 11. It's a meandering fantasy that reused footage from four other fantasy movies, into a plot that doesn't make much sense. Despite the title and an attempt to tie it in with the previous movie at the start, it really has nothing to do with the first Wizards of the Lost Kingdom except it also had Roger Corman as an executive producer. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Mar 2, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM I  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 10

Re-rewatch! A wizard apprentice searches for warriors to help him retake the castle from Thom Christopher (he has a habit, he's trying to quit) and his minion Apelua. Ends up finding a walking pile of shag carpeting and Dadbod the Barbarian. Features a moonshining gnome and a cyclops in a wedding dress. One of the best episodes of Season 11!
posted by JHarris on Feb 22, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: YONGARY, MONSTER FROM THE DEEP  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 9

Re-rewatch! A petroleum-eating monster and an itch-ray inventing kid. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Feb 16, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE LOVES OF HERCULES  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 8

Re-rewatch! Oh, more super-muscled hijinks with the mythological demi-man. Hercules' wife gets killed (again) and he hooks up with another woman within days (again). He just can't keep his spouse alive! It's wacky! Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Feb 8, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 7

Re-rewatch! A German U-boat sings a passenger vessel, but rescues survivors. The strife between the two groups is set aside when they find a land peopled by prehistoric people and dinosaurs. Previously and again
posted by JHarris on Feb 2, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: STARCRASH  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 6

Re-re-rewatch! (what, really?) Stella Star is a star rogue kind of lady, whose second-in-command and guy-pal Akton also seems to have weird space powers. Anyway, they're on the run from the Space Law, until the Emperor of the Universe wants them to track down his lost son amidst the "Haunted Stars." If this seems awfully random, trust me, it's only the beginning. By the end there's amazons with a giant lady robot with metal breasts, a Texan-speaking law robot, the evil Count Zarth Arn, and much much more. A legendary ridiculous movie, and prime fodder for Jonah and a pair of wisecracking robots. Previously, again, and one more time. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jan 26, 2023 - 5 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 5

Re-rewatch! How many movie genres would be improved by a stop-motion dinosaur suddenly attacking in the third act? Film noir? Road movie? Heist? Serious drama? Period romance? Can you guess why I'm asking this question? Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Jan 19, 2023 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: AVALANCHE  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 4

Re-rewatch! A real estate developer's hubris results in the deaths of some of the guests to his new hotel. This one is seventies-tastic! Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Jan 5, 2023 - 2 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE TIME TRAVELERS  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 3

Re-rewatch! Continuing with the first streaming season, some scientists are trapped in the future because of Danny. Thanks, Danny. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Dec 15, 2022 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: CRY WILDERNESS  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 2

Re-rewatch! One of the best episodes of the streaming era of the show, Cry Wilderness is an absolute classic and proved to many that MST3K was back. It's an incredibly strange film combined with brilliant riffing. Parents, please don't get your information on how to raise kids from this bizarre bigfoot movie, please. Bang! Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Dec 8, 2022 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: REPTILICUS  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 1

Re-rewatch! It's the beginning of the streaming era, and it's Denmark's turn to get attacked by those darn kaiju. Previously and again.
posted by JHarris on Dec 1, 2022 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: H.G. WELLS' THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME  Season 13, Ep 10

"Beyond the earth... beyond the moon... beyond your wildest imagination!" It's the future in space, and there's a plague, and important drugs are being brought from a distant planet, and Jack Palance is trying to take over the universe, and there's a teleporting robot, and some kids in one scene. I couldn't make heads or tails of this one folks. There's a plot synopsis on Wikipedia, read that. It's another movie that tried to cash in on Star Wars' gigantic success. It's not nearly as campy as Starcrash, but that makes it very bland as a film. Even with Jack Palance as the villain, he's simply not in enough scenes to make it memorable. Other than sharing some character names and being set in the future, this movie has almost nothing to do with H.G. Wells' novel. Premiered October 7, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Oct 15, 2022 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MILLION EYES OF SU-MURU  Season 13, Ep 9

"She Rules a Palace of Pleasure ...for WOMEN! the most DIABOLICAL... BIZARRE... SADISTIC WOMAN WHO EVER LIVED!" Evil lady woman Su-Muru girlingly tries to take over the world with her nefarious army of maiden damsels. The character was created by Sax Rohmer and the movie produced by Harry Alan Towers, both of whom also responsible for Fu Manchu, so you probably should load up on coffee before attempting this one. If you're casting a Sax Rohmer movie about one of his standard megalomaniac characters, would you pick Frankie Avalon? These people did. Premiered September 2, 2022, on the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Sep 8, 2022 - 5 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BATWOMAN  Season 13, Ep 8

Originally "La mujer murcielago." A rich socialite lady decides to spend her spare time in a bat mask and cape, wearing a bikini, and fighting crime. She tracks down a mad scientist who is using pineal fluid from wrestlers to make fish people. Oh, she's a wrestler too. All of this takes place in Mexico. Other than being a blatant ripoff of them, has nothing to do with DC Comics characters. It's a fun episode, with a crazy movie and good host segments! Premiered August 19, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Aug 25, 2022 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEMON SQUAD  Season 13, Ep 6

aka Night Hunters. "Monsters don't stand a chance." A private investigator specializing in paranormal cases is looking for an artifact, and fights demons in bars, among other things. This episode is notable for featuring the return of Joel Robinson as host for this episode! It also has Dr. Erhardt returning, and for the second half of the movie J. Elvis Weinstein reprising his role as the voice of Tom Servo from the show's first season long, long ago. Premiered Friday 24, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 30, 2022 - 5 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DOCTOR MORDRID  Season 13, Ep 5

"Jeffery Combs is" Doctor Mordrid! Master of the Unknown! Also, landlord of a building in New York! And yet the movie wants to believe he's a force working for good. He was sent to our world by a pair of blue eyes to save all reality from the eeeeevil Kabal! Sadly it seems his mystical abilities provide him no defense against getting arrested. It's the fifth episode of Season 13, and not such a bad movie. The story goes it was originally written as a Doctor Strange movie but they lost the rights, so they renamed some characters and made it anyway. Emily hosts this one; it looks like Joel will be hosting the next! Premiered in the Gizmoplex on June 10th, 2022. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 11, 2022 - 4 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: MUNCHIE  Season 13, Ep 4

"Roger Corman presents..." "Munchie just moved in... There goes the neighborhood." "Magical. Mystical. Munchie!" a kid beset by bullies and the school principal (who hates him for some reason) opens a mysterious box and inside is a dead-faced animatronic puppet with the voice of Dom DeLuise. While a sequel to Munchies, there are no horror elements of this movie, other than the stark horror of the puppet's construction. Reputedly this was a very difficult movie for the MST guys to write for. Jonah and his bots riff this one, but he has a conversation with Emily, and Emily and her bots have a couple of segments before and after the movie. Premiered on the Gizmoplex on May 27, 2022. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 27, 2022 - 6 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: BEYOND ATLANTIS  Season 13, Ep 3

"Forgotten by nature... invaded by modern man... half human... half fish!" ""Their spawning ground... the ocean depths!" Some people go to an island in search of pearls: Vic, the similar-looking Logan, Kathy and "East Eddie." It's populated by an inbred race of people, supposedly from Atlantis. Only one of them is fertile, the daughter of the chief, Syrene. A lot of movies from around this time were obsessed with fertility for some reason. Ultimately Syrene dies, dooming the island race to extinction. They march into the sea, but one of our "heroes" gets a fortune of pearls from them as they go. But after some intrigue between the group they're lost overboard. Everyone laughs. "Ha ha, those islanders are going to die and for no reason! Easy come easy go!" Not an uplifting movie. This is the first episode with Emily riffing, on the "Simulator of Love," with her own Crow, Tom Servo, GPC, and "GPC2," a smaller and more maneuverable version. Premiered on the Gizmoplex on March 8, 2022 (after a preview some weeks earlier). [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 9, 2022 - 5 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ROBOT WARS  Season 13, Ep 2

"Crank Up the Carnage." While it looks kind of like the thing The Asylum would make now, this movie in fact was made back in 1993, and has some decent stop motion robot effects. The movie is similar in many ways to Robot Jox, from the same director, but their stories are unconnected. In the future the world has been divided into two factions, the "North Hemi" and the "Eastern Alliance." A war was fought between giant robots, but now only one is left, and it's currently being used as passenger transport and tourism. There follows a plot involving "Centros," perfidious Eastern Alliance military leaders, and of course at the end a giant robot fight. It's a real mess. In MST3K's story, Kinga and Max's damaged Kingadome has been saved by a financier from the future named Dr. Cabal, who tells them, for their venture to be a success, they must find a second host to subject bad movies to.... Premiered Friday early to Kickstarter backers, it is not currently possible to watch officially; its official premiere will be on May 7. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 5, 2022 - 9 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING & BECAME MIXEDUP ZOMBIES  Rewatch   Season 8, Ep 12

Rewatch! Ray Dennis Steckler, a.k.a. "Cash Flagg," was one of the more infamous Z-list Hollywood directors, and he was responsible for this film, which is something. A guy gets hypno'd by a carnival fortune teller into becoming an insane killer. The fortune teller's assistant Ortega is a sight, and immediately became the Torgo of the Sci-Fi Channel era of MST3K. Lots of the movie is just time spent watching bad performances on-stage at the carnival, pointless and unabridged. This movie is one of the worst in the show's history. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 10, 2022 - 2 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTO IN THE TREASURE OF DRACULA  Season 13, Ep 1

a.k.a. Santo en el tesoro de DrĂ¡cula, Santo and Dracula's Treasure. "A COLORES!" El Santo, the Silver Mask, is a luchador who likes to dabble both in Super Science and the supernatural. He's invented a time machine that sends a young woman back into a past life, which was turned into a vampire by Dracula, while he watches. But never mind the infernal terror, El Santo learns about the great treasure of Dracula's family, and he wants a piece! But so does the mob! There's a lot of movies in this movie. The episode is missing ending credits, and way a bit marred by technical difficulties, but it was shown last night, and was pretty good! Kinga and Max escape the storage room of Moon 13 by exploding it, causing a cave-in. So they're currently set up on Moon 1, on the lunar surface, and opening Kinga's newest venture, the Kingadome. It contains the Gizmoplex, which in the show's lore is a physical place, but it's also the website the episode can be viewed by backers of last year's Kickstarter, here. A more general release will come in May. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 5, 2022 - 17 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: STARCRASH  Rewatch   Season 11, Ep 6

Re-rewatch! Stella Starr and her platonic space wizard friend Akton are on the run from the space police, until they aren't, given a reprieve if they go find Space Emperor Christopher Plummer's son, David Hasselhoff. Along the way they meet a robot with a Texas accent, space amazons and their giant lady robot guardian, stop motion androids, a frozen planet, a traitorous crewman, space cavemen, trooper-carrying space torpedoes, and the evil Count Zarth Arn. An imfamously silly movie, but still fun, there's always something going on. Previously - Also previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Feb 5, 2020 - 9 comments

1102 CRY WILDERNESS

One of the highlights of Season 11, Cry Wilderness makes even less sense than the standard Mystery Science movie. Paul is a kid living in a boarding school... but he's friends with Bigfoot... and his teacher doesn't believe in it and is angry with Paul except for when he isn't... and Bigfoot comes to Paul in a vision that his father is in danger... so he hitchhikes... and there's racoons... and a US Marshall with poor eating habits... and a couple of Native Americans, but one is dead... and he has an eagle... and there's an escaped circus tiger... it all makes absolutely no sense. Enjoy!
posted by JHarris on Jan 30, 2020 - 0 comments

1112 CARNIVAL MAGIC

Coming in unexpectedly high among the episodes of Season 11 in the poll is Carnival Magic, a talking ape movie with a very low opinion of both traditional apes and the ones known as men. Particularly hard to watch, but the riffs lessen the pain... somewhat. Could be considered the Manos of the revival. Good luck with this one. Previously - Also Previously
posted by JHarris on Jan 23, 2020 - 0 comments

Rewatch: MST3K 1104 AVALANCHE

A lot of 70s actors try to survive an avalanche caused by one actor's self-sighted building project. Some do, some don't. The audience certainly won't. Previously - Also previously
posted by JHarris on Jan 16, 2020 - 1 comment

1110 WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM I Rewatch

Welcome back to crappy fantasy land, where our apes are bats, and our conquerors have Dad Bod. Previously - Also Previously
posted by JHarris on Jan 9, 2020 - 1 comment

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE  Season 12, Ep 6

aka Ator L'Invincible. Every legend has its beginning... even the very bad ones. Long ago barbarian lawyer/surgeon/hangglider enthusiast Ator, from way back in 301 THE CAVE DWELLERS, was born, hidden away from evil guys, and raised to fight the Spider Puppet God. Along the way he falls in love with his sister (WTF), makes nookie with an evil witch lady, finds a magic mirror shield, and suffers all the personal trauma that a primitive fantasy world can dish out. The conclusion to The Gauntlet sees Dr. Erhardt fulfilling Dr. Forrester's last wish, Jonah and the bots shipped to Earth to go on the "Deep Hurting" tour, and Kinga and Max falling into the trap that Jonah spent the past five episodes building. This is the end of Season 12 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and, unless more episodes are made, the series. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jan 17, 2019 - 9 comments

Mystery Science Theater 3000: KILLER FISH  Season 12, Ep 5

"The adventure that drags you in, pulls you under and tears you apart!" How pleasant. Movies would have us believe there are two major natural threats to people in the water. This movie focuses on the second one. There is a plot involving stolen jewels, but there's a reason the movie's not called TREACHEROUS THIEVES. It's the next-to-last episode of The Gauntlet, and the subplot, involving a returned Dr. Erhardt's quest to have Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank's ashes scattered while playing Idiot Control Now (Joel and the Bots' song from way back in 303 POD PEOPLE), continues, as it turns out Kinga has all of Dr. F's old experiments backed up. This is about three times as much plot as MST usually has. Add in that Jonah is doing something mysterious to help get him and the Bots out of their situation.... [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jan 10, 2019 - 13 comments

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