Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PUMAMAN Rewatch Season 9, Ep 3
#1 from our internet poll of most beloved Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes! A nebbishy white guy in London turns out to be the secret heir to a fantastic Incan/alien legacy of power. Yes, he, somehow, is THE PUMAMAN, as detected, by the much-more-appropriate Vadinho, by dint of throwing him out of a tall building and him surviving. The Pumaman's powers are needed because of the evil plot of the malevolent Dr. Kobras, played by Donald Pleasence, who, always a professional, does his best with a bad role. Let's all sing the theme song! "When, you want, the flavor of ba-con in a dip...." Previously [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: I ACCUSE MY PARENTS Rewatch Season 5, Ep 7
Jimmy is a high-school student who writes essays about how great his family is, but in fact his home life is terrible. So, he goes right out and gets in trouble with the mob. Remember parents, if you don't throw your kid a birthday party they'll go out and crime it up, and lie about literally every. thing. Fortunately hamburgers dispensed by kindly diner owners are the cure for all moral lapses. Thank you cows, for being our huge lowing Jesuses! Previously Next week is the last episode in our poll tour. See inside for more information on MST Club.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THIS ISLAND EARTH Rewatch Season 7, Ep 7
Carl is a Serious Scientist who's been sent a parts catalog in the mail, but the parts are crazy-pants, and further the catalog describes how to build an "Interociter." which apparently can perform housework? and display video communications? Rather than returning that thing right back to Archie McPhee Carl decides to order the parts and build it. Amazingly, rather than being a hilarious practical joke at his expense, it presents the smiling face of Exeter, who invites him to join with other Human Scientists at their Laboratory. From there, let's just say the dominos have been set in motion, and a trip to space and a confrontation with Scrotor is inevitable. In the history of the show, this episode actually isn't the show, but MST: The Movie. It's been written up on Fanfare before, here. [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SPACE MUTINY Rewatch Season 8, Ep 20
Rewatch! Commander Santa and aerobics witches! Slab Bulkhead and Back-From-The-Dead Susie! Apple II computer effects and stolen Battlestar Galactica footage! Calgon, take them away! Widely consider one of the best episodes, this South African production is hilariously strange. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TIME CHASERS Rewatch Season 8, Ep 21
Rewatch! Nick is a high-school teacher with a secret--and no, that secret doesn't involve cooking meth. He's the inventor of a time machine! And its workings are an 8-bit microcomputer, who's have thought! It's really a shame that he turned to EvilCo for his first round of funding. I'm kind of surprised this episode placed so highly on the poll, I mean it's pretty good, but better than Manos? Soultaker? SCCTM? Hobgoblins? Time of the Apes? Master Ninja? A couple dozen other episodes? I mean, it tied with Starcrash! I guess it's one of those episodes that's grown in the years since first airing. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MITCHELL Rewatch Season 5, Ep 12
Rewatch! Joe Don Baker IS Mitchell, a cop that doesn't play by the rules. For example, the rules about drinking on the job. The rules about sleeping with prostitutes. The rules about interacting with other human beings, especially kids. Certainly the rules about nutrition and hygiene. There is a story here about a drug dealer and his henchman who Mitchell seems like is almost trying to annoy into turning themselves in. In the end the lasting impression caused by this movie can be summed up in two words: BABY OIL. You'll know why when it appears on screen. (shudder) In the show's history this episode is especially notable for being Joel Hodgson's last as host. Previously [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK Rewatch Season 8, Ep 22
Rewatch! In a corporate-dominated dystopia, poor Aram Fingals gets caught "scrolling up cinemas" and so he's sent for "prophylactic rehab" to a wildlife refuge where his mind is "doppled" into a baboon (thankfully not an anteater!) because that's what is considered restorative recreation in THE FUTURE. The process is overseen by Apollonia Jones and... look, there's so much pointless jargon in this movie it's using up my supply of scare quotes so I'm going to stop the description there. Just scrounge up some creds for a bag of flavo-fibes and join us and the sadly late Raul Julia for OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DANGER! DEATH RAY Rewatch Season 6, Ep 20
A scientist made a death ray, insisting it's for peaceful purposes. He's been kidnapped, you say? Send in secret agent Bart Fargo Bart Fargo Bart Fargo to rescue him. Ba dup ba dup ba da dah? Ba dup ba dup ba da dah. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: WEREWOLF Rewatch Season 9, Ep 4
Time for snausages! A man gets werewolved by touching old teeth, kills some people, sleeps "nose to anus," and eventually passes his condition to his girlfriend. Remember to inform romantic partner about possible STDs. A popular episode! Contains both a host segment song and the "Tusk!" gag over the closing credits. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE FINAL SACRIFICE Rewatch Season 9, Ep 10
Rewatch! Come along with us on a road trip to the lost city of Ziox. Don't mind that pesky cult in our way; we've got Troy the Kid and Zap the Rowsdower coming too! We can do a sing-along! We're getting to the really classic episodes now. Ilana let us know last year that the actor who played Rowsdower, Bruce K. Mitchell, passed away. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SOULTAKER Rewatch Season 10, Ep 1
Rewatch! What awaits us after we die? If this movie is to be believed, we end up inside little rings such as the kind Sonic the Hedgehog collects, ferried back and forth through the afterlife by glorified deliverymen in black suits, overseen by the fearsomely-chinned Robert Z'Dar. A classic Season 10 episode, both for the ridiculous movie and for cameo appearances by both TV's Frank and Joel Hodgson, last seen in 624 and 512 respectively. Previously.
Rewatch! Like some mirror universe version of The Princess Bride, a grandfather tells stories to his grandson, but THIS grandfather is Ernest Borgnine, and THESE stories are horrible tales of soul-draining magic and deadly cursed monkeys, and THIS kid isn't getting any sleep tonight. A highlight of the Sci-Fi Channel run, we're closing in on the most popular episodes now.... Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ALIEN FROM L.A. Rewatch Season 5, Ep 16
Rewatch! A young lady in California learns the oft-taught movie advice that, if she takes off her glasses and musses her hair a bit, men will be more attracted to her, and it only takes a trip to a dystopian underground civilization to learn it. This movie has a certain level of similarity to the Super Mario Bros. movie. This is a fan favorite episode, only the fourth episode P.M. (Post Mitchell), and back when it first aired it was the episode that really proved, after Joel left, that the show was going to be okay. Previously [more inside]
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ANGELS REVENGE Rewatch Season 6, Ep 22
Rewatch! Young women fight drug dealers in a tawdry production. Remember to shine your love! Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR Rewatch Season 8, Ep 11
Rewatch! Considering the political reality of the USA right now, this movie's almost charming with how the villain is an evil Senator's brother, who runs a farm for stupid 70s people, clones of "important" folk, you know, like senators, to serve as living sources of spare body parts. Especially hilarious is the pseudo-Orwellian culture of the farm, which is like a sinister community college. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HOBGOBLINS Rewatch Season 9, Ep 7
Rewatch! Plush toys with the ability to make people's fantasies a reality encounter some teenagers with severe issues, and the result is supposed to be a comedy. You knew it was coming. Any list of the best MST episodes invariably covers most of the worst movies, meaning we're back here again, at the extremely 80s, extraordinarily tawdry film (in the sense of being an oily coating) known to those unfortunate enough to have experienced it as HOBGOBLINS. To watch it is to feel like your brain is floating in a tub of slime: enjoy! Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GIRLS TOWN Rewatch Season 6, Ep 1
Rewatch! Silver is a rowdy young lady, committed to home for troubled teens Girls Town for a murder she didn't commit. The real culprit turns out to have done it in self-defense. Various people sing. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CREEPING TERROR Rewatch Season 6, Ep 6
Rewatch! From the depths of OUTER SPACE comes a deadly shed containing two walking dirty carpets each festooned with vacuum cleaner attachments. Featuring the most ridiculous monsters in MST history, and that's saying something. What. A. Movie. This is the platonic ideal of a superbad z-grade monster movie. Terrible effects, horrible acting, a nonsensical script and nearly entirely dubbed dialogue. (muah) Exquisite! Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: RED ZONE CUBA Rewatch Season 6, Ep 19
Rewatch! We knew it was coming. Here, again, is one of the very worst movies MST ever did, most infamous of the Coleman Francis triad. A trio of criminals get involved in various adventures, go Cuba for a while, make it back to the states, do some nefarious things and die. As John Carradine says: "GRIFFIN. He went all the way to HELL." Between Cherokee Jack, Petey Plane, the "Sick Man" bit, the Dark Spectre of Food, and others, it's a classic episode, but, not for the weak of heart or quick to sleep. At least it's got a speech-and-posture short, unlikely savior it may be. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: PRINCE OF SPACE Rewatch Season 8, Ep 16
Rewatch! We're starting to get into the weird ones. Prince of Space is a hilarious episode of our favorite cowtown puppet show, with an inexplicable hero (the invulnerable Prince of Space, who works as a Tokyo bootblack), annoying kids (PoS' child sidekicks) and easily one of the top five most ridiculous villains in MSTdom in the form of the chickenish Phantom of Krankor. HAAA... Haaa... haaa... ha. Just, for the love of decency, don't stare at the Krankorian crotches.... Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OPERATION DOUBLE 007 Rewatch Season 5, Ep 8
Rewatch! Sean Connery's brother sure can do a lot. Plastic surgery, hypnosis, martial arts and so on. His brother's taken time off to go to the future to worship a huge flying head, so Secret Agent Central Casting sent him instead. He's up against an evil organization that somehow convinced a flotilla of clothes-averse young women to work for them, in capacities ranging from showgirl distraction brigade to movie screen. M and Moneypenny are involved somehow. In case you couldn't tell, this is an extremely silly movie and fully deserving being thrown against a wall and mocked by joke-making machines.Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEAD TALK BACK Rewatch Season 6, Ep 3
Rewatch! One of the sillier movies in MST's rich history, this film was made in the 60s but unreleased until shortly before the episode aired. Krasker is a self-styled occultist with a hilariously dramatic speaking style. He lives in the basement of a boarding house with a collection of "supernatural" artifacts that are laugh-out-loud funny even without riffing. For some reason the police hang on this cut-rate Sherlock Holmes' every word, and consult with him on murder cases, a premises so ridiculous that it demonstrates just how stupid it is when investigatory seances happen in real life. But mostly the movie stalls until its sub-Scooby Doo twist ending. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL Rewatch Season 6, Ep 14
Rewatch! What would Airplane! be if it weren't played for laughs, like, at ALL? It'd be a lot like San Francisco International, a pilot for a TV series heavily inspired by the movies that inspired Airplane!, like Zero Hour and the various Airports. So come back with us and linger in a place that most people want to pass through as quickly as possible. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DIABOLIK Rewatch Season 10, Ep 13
Rewatch! Super-thief Diabolik steals stuff in a series of wildly implausible heists, such is his hunger to have sex in, on, or in front of valuable things with his girlfriend Eva Kant (who seems to be misnamed). It's based on an Italian comic book. You know, in that country Donald Duck is a superhero. Italian comics are weird, is what I'm sayin'. Again, this was the last episode of the classic series. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH Rewatch Season 8, Ep 17
Shocking terror! Hideous and ridiculous monsters crawl out of the sea! "It had ping-pong balls for eyes!" shrieked one overacting eyewitness! Another moaned unconvincingly, "Oh the carnage, the bad costumes, the poor cinematography!" Will no one put a stop to the atrocities committed by this director and his crew? In subplot news, Pearl and Brain Guy are in ancient Rome. Previously.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION Rewatch Season 8, Ep 10
Rewatch! A small car cosplaying as a big big spider terrorizes a town as we continue through the best classic episodes as selected by poll. Previously.