FanFare

"IT'S SHOCKING! It's Beyond Your Imagination!" "A cult of weird, horrible people who gather beautiful women only to deface them with a burning hand!" A family of three on vacation in the desert stumble upon a lodge run by the misshapen Torgo. Oh, what improbable secrets does the place hold? With short Hired!, part 2: The second half of the Chevrolet training short shown last week. ☠☠☠! Oh god! It's here! If it's not the worst movie they ever showed (a matter of some debate) it's a strong contender. It is not recommended that you make this your first episode of MST3K, or it may well be your last. The first eight minutes of this movie are just driving. The movie pushes Joel and company to the brink. The mad scientists apologize for the movie. Twice. YouTube (1h32m) - and here's the whole thing annotated, from the official MST3K YouTube channel! - And for sadists... ☠☠☠ UNRIFFED ☠☠☠ (1h9m) [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Apr 6, 2016 - 16 comments

"Santa Claus saves Christmas for the Children of the World!" "SEE: The Martians Kidnap Santa! Santa's North Pole Workshop! The Fantastic Martian Toy Factory! Earth Kids Meeting with Martian Kids! Space-ship Journey from Earth to Mars! Santa Turn Mars-Robot Into a Mechanical Toy!" St. Nicolas is kidnapped by Martians to help their kids and it's up to two Earth children, plus a mincing Martian named Dropo, to save Christmas on both planets. With a movie like SCCTM, it's difficult even to know where to start. I admire the movie's audacity, and once in a while it almost seems to work: Martian leader Kimar is kind of awesome, and villainous martian Voldar tries to kill our heroes sure but he's only acting on what he thinks is best for his home planet. But every time Dropo shows up I have to cover my eyes and ears. Truly, he is the secret archetype of Jar-Jar Binks. It's one of the best episodes of the whole run, a real must-see. YouTube (1h37m) Premiered December 21, 1991. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Sep 10, 2015 - 9 comments

"The Towering Terror From Hell!" "SEE a Sixty Foot Giant Destroyed...in Color!" When we last saw Col. Glenn Manning, he was 60 feet tall and had fallen into the Colorado River, where we might presume his corpse would have stopped its flow at some point, or at least provided free sustenance for weeks to its aquatic wildlife. But they never found his amazing colossal body! Well that's because he survived, somehow, improbably, even though he was supposed to be close to death from his untimely embiggening. His sister (the first movie said he had no family but no matter) is determined to find out what happened to him. With the short MR. B NATURAL: A magical pixie that gives off mixed gender signals comes to visit a confused young boy and tries to sell him band equipment. The movie's another Bert I. Gordon monsterpiece, and a sequel to the movie featured in episode 309, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN. It's a black and white movie, but it's color for the very VERY end so they could say that ad up above wasn't a lie. The episode's okay, but tends to languish in the shadow of the short which, in terms of concentrated riffing power, might be the funniest thing the Brains ever did. YouTube (1h37m) BONUS: A real rarity, Mr. B Natural (26m) on YouTube, un-MSTed! [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Aug 27, 2015 - 14 comments

(1978, Color, Japan, Sandy Frank, Music, Forklift Homicide, Intro, Classic) Two episodes of the Japanese TV show Star Wolf (スターウルフ) merge into a sorta-movie by our old fiend Sandy Frank. Ken is a Wolf Raider, one of a band of space pirates, but after turning against his culture when they tried to kill an Earth kid (also named Ken), he throws his lot in with hard-drinking Captain Joe and the crew of his ship, the Bacchus III. Hey! I made a Metafilter post about this show once! It has AWESOME MUSIC, which Joel and company make good use of. I tell you truly, this is one of the best shows the Brains ever made. The movie is extremely goofy, yet still kind of watchable and likeable, and the riffing is top-notch. If you can like MST3K, you will like this. Good times ahead! YouTube. (1h40m) First aired August 17, 1991. BONUS: It's not for newbies, but you can watch the guys' first take on this movie that aired on KTMA TV! YouTube (1h43m) [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 24, 2015 - 11 comments

(1973, Color, Japanese, Godzilla, Kaiji, Classic) "Giant Against Giant... the Ultimate Battle!" A scientist, his guyfriend, and the shrill little boy they hang out with send the robot they made, Jet Jaguar, to get Godzilla to defend against the guardian monster of the Kingdom of Seatopia, who are angry because of nuclear testing. One of the best of Mystery Science Theater 3000 of all! The movie is ridiculous, the riffing hilarious, and it has some of the greatest host segments too, including the infamous Orville "Popcorn" Redenbacher sketch. But, unfortunately, this episode is very difficult to find these days, thanks to the legal machinations of Godzilla's owner, Toho. Unavailable on YouTube. First shown January 19, 1991. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Mar 25, 2015 - 14 comments