FanFare

"THIS IS THE MASK!" (picture of 3D glasses with an angular look) "YOU WILL BE GIVEN ONE ON ENTERING THE THEATRE. YOU WILL BE TOLD WHEN TO LOOK THROUGH IT. When you do, it will make you part of the desire-fuming brain of a monstrous genius of insanity. You will live with the living dead. You will share what no living person has known before." "The greatest thrill since you first saw a picture move! LOOK THROUGH YOUR MASK... IF YOU CAN'T TAKE IT... TAKE IT OFF! The management is not responsible for nervous breakdowns!" Well, huh. That text is from the poster. Evidently, the 'unknown knowledge' and 'greatest thrill' are cheap optical effects... presented in THREE-DEE!! The movie itself has to do with a guy, who is NOT Jim Carrey, driven to suicide by the things his mask shows him, and his psychiatrist, who decides to see what all this insanity is about for himself. This one is NOT a rewatch! Well it is, but I neglected to make posts for the last three episodes in Season 13, so we're going with first-time posts now! It premiered October 22, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jul 20, 2023 - 1 comment

Rewatch! In space, things happen. There's a plague and Jack Palance is evil, and at one point his holographic head is gigantic and rotating over the landscape of an alien planet, and there's a really annoying robot that can teleport wherever it wants it seems. H.G. Wells fans, well, won't actually have much to enjoy here, the movie's kind of dull and doesn't really have much to do with his writing. The movie's a mess. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jul 13, 2023 - 4 comments

Rewatch! The only person who can save us from Su-Muru's dastardly army of (gasp) WOMEN is Frankie Avalon. From the creator of Fu-Manchu and the producer of many of the Fu movies, so caffeine is a must for this one. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jul 6, 2023 - 1 comment

Rewatch! Not The Wild Wild World Of, this is just The Batwoman. In fact, The Mexican The Batwoman. She follows the natural career upgrade path south of the border, from luchador to superhero. Her mission is to stop a mad scientist from creating a race of fish people. Bats and fish: natural enemies. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jun 29, 2023 - 1 comment

"Beyond the earth... beyond the moon... beyond your wildest imagination!" It's the future in space, and there's a plague, and important drugs are being brought from a distant planet, and Jack Palance is trying to take over the universe, and there's a teleporting robot, and some kids in one scene. I couldn't make heads or tails of this one folks. There's a plot synopsis on Wikipedia, read that. It's another movie that tried to cash in on Star Wars' gigantic success. It's not nearly as campy as Starcrash, but that makes it very bland as a film. Even with Jack Palance as the villain, he's simply not in enough scenes to make it memorable. Other than sharing some character names and being set in the future, this movie has almost nothing to do with H.G. Wells' novel. Premiered October 7, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Oct 15, 2022 - 1 comment

"She Rules a Palace of Pleasure ...for WOMEN! the most DIABOLICAL... BIZARRE... SADISTIC WOMAN WHO EVER LIVED!" Evil lady woman Su-Muru girlingly tries to take over the world with her nefarious army of maiden damsels. The character was created by Sax Rohmer and the movie produced by Harry Alan Towers, both of whom also responsible for Fu Manchu, so you probably should load up on coffee before attempting this one. If you're casting a Sax Rohmer movie about one of his standard megalomaniac characters, would you pick Frankie Avalon? These people did. Premiered September 2, 2022, on the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Sep 8, 2022 - 5 comments

Originally "La mujer murcielago." A rich socialite lady decides to spend her spare time in a bat mask and cape, wearing a bikini, and fighting crime. She tracks down a mad scientist who is using pineal fluid from wrestlers to make fish people. Oh, she's a wrestler too. All of this takes place in Mexico. Other than being a blatant ripoff of them, has nothing to do with DC Comics characters. It's a fun episode, with a crazy movie and good host segments! Premiered August 19, 2022, in the Gizmoplex. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Aug 25, 2022 - 4 comments

"Jeffery Combs is" Doctor Mordrid! Master of the Unknown! Also, landlord of a building in New York! And yet the movie wants to believe he's a force working for good. He was sent to our world by a pair of blue eyes to save all reality from the eeeeevil Kabal! Sadly it seems his mystical abilities provide him no defense against getting arrested. It's the fifth episode of Season 13, and not such a bad movie. The story goes it was originally written as a Doctor Strange movie but they lost the rights, so they renamed some characters and made it anyway. Emily hosts this one; it looks like Joel will be hosting the next! Premiered in the Gizmoplex on June 10th, 2022. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 11, 2022 - 4 comments

"Roger Corman presents..." "Munchie just moved in... There goes the neighborhood." "Magical. Mystical. Munchie!" a kid beset by bullies and the school principal (who hates him for some reason) opens a mysterious box and inside is a dead-faced animatronic puppet with the voice of Dom DeLuise. While a sequel to Munchies, there are no horror elements of this movie, other than the stark horror of the puppet's construction. Reputedly this was a very difficult movie for the MST guys to write for. Jonah and his bots riff this one, but he has a conversation with Emily, and Emily and her bots have a couple of segments before and after the movie. Premiered on the Gizmoplex on May 27, 2022. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 27, 2022 - 6 comments

"Forgotten by nature... invaded by modern man... half human... half fish!" ""Their spawning ground... the ocean depths!" Some people go to an island in search of pearls: Vic, the similar-looking Logan, Kathy and "East Eddie." It's populated by an inbred race of people, supposedly from Atlantis. Only one of them is fertile, the daughter of the chief, Syrene. A lot of movies from around this time were obsessed with fertility for some reason. Ultimately Syrene dies, dooming the island race to extinction. They march into the sea, but one of our "heroes" gets a fortune of pearls from them as they go. But after some intrigue between the group they're lost overboard. Everyone laughs. "Ha ha, those islanders are going to die and for no reason! Easy come easy go!" Not an uplifting movie. This is the first episode with Emily riffing, on the "Simulator of Love," with her own Crow, Tom Servo, GPC, and "GPC2," a smaller and more maneuverable version. Premiered on the Gizmoplex on March 8, 2022 (after a preview some weeks earlier). [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 9, 2022 - 5 comments