FanFare

On the starship Voyager, assaults against former Maquis are considered especially troubling. The dedicated detective who investigates these vicious felonies is security officer Lieutenant Commander Tuvok. This is his story. *DUNK DUNK* [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on May 31, 2018 - 14 comments

What has he got in his Vulcan brainses? [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Mar 8, 2018 - 7 comments

Or: "The One Where Voyager Finally, Actually, Really Runs Out of Shuttlecraft (J/K, Not Really)" [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Jan 4, 2018 - 10 comments

This planet's too chilly. Should've worn my "Engineering Smock." Except it makes me look pregnant. Heh, that'd freak Tom out. This market looks like the one on Sikaris. Wonder if Janeway noticed. Maybe I'll point it out! Yeah right, maybe if I want my head torn off. That kid's got weird socks. At least these people have invented socks. Ughh, so bored. Socks are actually a pretty good idea, really. Oh good, now these guys are staring at me. What, you've never seen an alien that doesn't look human before? Okay, now THIS petaQ's in my space bubble. If you don't step off RIGHT now, I'm gonna reach down your throat and RIP OUT your SPINE and cram it back UP YOUR ASS SIDEWAYS!! [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Sep 28, 2017 - 22 comments

Or: "Harry and Tuvok Get Catfished" [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Jul 13, 2017 - 8 comments

Our heroes encounter gaseous anomalies. Tuvok experiences some more mental distress. The legendary Klingon commander Kang returns to menace Starfleet. A little girl falls to her death about a dozen times. And Janeway meets Sulu! (Sort of.) [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Jun 1, 2017 - 8 comments

On stardate 49655.2, Lieutenant Tuvok was asked to remove himself from his ship of residence to collect samples. That request came from his captain. Deep down, he knew the transporter would malfunction on the way back, but he also knew that someday, he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, his transporter pattern merged with that of his crewmate, Neelix. Sometime earlier, Neelix's biological matter had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two men share a body without driving each other crazy? [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on May 18, 2017 - 25 comments

♫ We're the kids in the Delta Quadrant! (whoa-oh) / We're the kids in the Delta Quadrant! (whoa-oh) / Everybody watch us die in a cave! ♫ [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on May 11, 2017 - 18 comments

Or, "The One Where Tuvok Finally Murders Neelix" [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Apr 20, 2017 - 19 comments

When Tuvok teaches Kes to hone her telepathic abilities, she learns to hear Neelix's thoughts—but surprisingly, that's not the most disturbing thing she'll experience in this episode. [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Mar 30, 2017 - 13 comments

WHAT IS YOUR HOLO-MALFUNCTION, CADET? YOU CAN'T SPREAD YOUR FINGERS APART IN A V-SHAPE LIKE ANY VULCAN CHILD CAN? DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A "V" IS, SON? NEVER LEARNED YOUR FEDERATION STANDARD ALPHABET, IS THAT IT? OR IS SOMETHIN' WRONG WITH YOUR FINGERS? TOO MUCH QUALITY TIME WITH LITTLE MISS ROTTENCROTCH DELANEY? WELL, GET THIS THROUGH YOUR BIO-NEURAL HEAD-SACK: WE'RE NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU GIVE ME A PROPER VULCAN SALUTE!!! [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Feb 23, 2017 - 15 comments

It was a cold night in the bad quadrant. I was playing flyboy for the kid, Kim. Hired hand, that's all. The skies were black with rain on the way down. Nothing I couldn't handle. I brought the kid dirtside to meet some physicist. They got to talking, and before too long, I'm the third nacelle. Get two science guys together? Forget it. I'd just about checked out altogether…when she walked in. Legs like the Pleasure Goddess of Rixx, forehead like a Terran horny toad. It figured. Next thing I know, she's on me like a Denevan neural parasite. And me without an ultraviolet light source. Some luck. [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Jan 26, 2017 - 14 comments