FanFare

Lt. Carey, personal log, stardate 54775.4. I'm about to beam down to an alien planet on a mission from Starfleet, looking for remnants of a famous 21st-century Earth probe. This is my first away mission in over six years, which is kind of weird, given Voyager's tiny crew. Ah well, it's probably not any kind of omen of misfortune. Starfleet history, here I come! [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Jul 23, 2018 - 14 comments

There was me, that is Iko, and my convict droogs, rescued from our prison transport by a Human ship captained by quite the hardened devotchka. But soon, I viddied a holographic doctor putting some manner of Borg technology in me gulliver. You can imagine the surprise, O my brothers and only friends, when I found that all me desire for tolchocking and the like had vanished. I was cured all right… but doomed nonetheless to snuff it. [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Jun 28, 2018 - 11 comments

What has he got in his Vulcan brainses? [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Mar 8, 2018 - 7 comments

Good night moon… Good night shuttlecraft… Good night ion storm… Good night Mom, buried under the moon… [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Dec 7, 2017 - 8 comments

Or: "The One Where You Suddenly Feel Kind of Bad About All Those 'Killing Off Neelix' Jokes" [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Oct 4, 2017 - 13 comments

On stardate 49655.2, Lieutenant Tuvok was asked to remove himself from his ship of residence to collect samples. That request came from his captain. Deep down, he knew the transporter would malfunction on the way back, but he also knew that someday, he would return to her. With nowhere else to go, his transporter pattern merged with that of his crewmate, Neelix. Sometime earlier, Neelix's biological matter had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two men share a body without driving each other crazy? [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on May 18, 2017 - 25 comments

Liiiive from somewhere in the Delta Quadrant, it's The Neelix Show! Tonight: the juggling talents of Pablo Baytart! Myoooosical guest: Harry "Clarinet" Kimmmm! Plus "Hints for Healthful Living!" (time permitting) …And nowww… heeeeeeeeeeere's NEELIX! [*APPLAUSE*] [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on May 4, 2017 - 17 comments

Being stranded 70,000 light-years from home is pretty tough on a starship crew. Sooner or later, some of them are gonna get a little bent out of shape. [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Mar 16, 2017 - 15 comments

Ahh, springtime in the Delta Quadrant. When the suns are shining their brightest… the leola plants are in bloom… and a young Ocampa woman's fancy turns to inflating her neck sac, getting foot massages from holograms, and coating her hands in mustard. [more inside]
posted by CheesesOfBrazil on Mar 9, 2017 - 25 comments