A Cure for Wellness (2016)

January 27, 2018 7:51 PM

An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company's CEO from an idyllic but mysterious "wellness center" at a remote location in the Swiss Alps, but soon suspects that the spa's treatments are not what they seem.

All that and it turns out that Dr. Evil McEvilson is a ghoul from Fallout?

posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace (7 comments total)

So they're... longevity eels? But also mind control eels?
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:51 PM on January 27, 2018

And people are in the iron-lung things peeing distilled eel juice?
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:52 PM on January 27, 2018

And I mean... "Okay, Jason, as we all know in this scene you're going to be fingering your daughter-niece, but the thing we need to talk about is that you're REALLY into it."
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:53 PM on January 27, 2018

picard_wtf.jpg
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:58 PM on January 27, 2018

For a moment I thought this was Wellville.
posted by porpoise at 9:43 PM on January 27, 2018 [2 favorites]

You know, I'm really glad we decided to wait and watch this one at home. My main takeaway was that "rich people do some fucked-up things to keep the caste system alive in today's modern world, including becoming actual monsters that literally prey on the innocent," which a lot of reviewers see as Verbinski tapping into Bram Stoker's Dracula-style horror tropes.

I mean, Mia Goth is a pretty good stand-in for Mina Harker, I guess? But to me, it felt more like a Swiftian social commentary marketed as a horror film. I mean, yeah, there is some really scary stuff in this movie. But literally seeing something shoved down the stand-in character for the audience's throat is the opposite of subtlety.

Unfortunately, we're all feeling the overt stress of class warfare a bit much these days to enjoy much of the blacker humor in it. My guess is that people will embrace this film more as it ages than they did in its limited cinema run.

I thought the visual set pieces were highly evocative of actual wellness/spa retreats during the early 20th century. Anyone who's been to Hot Springs, AK and visited some of the classic mint green-hued bath houses will feel a twinge of nostalgia... until the Life Force Lampreys appear.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:21 AM on January 28, 2018 [2 favorites]

I really wanted to like this more than I did. I thought the scene where the DeHane character is lost in the steam rooms was really well-done and atmospheric and probably the best scene in the movie overall. But the movie couldn't stick the landing; despite jacking up the gore level to 11, the whole conclusion just came across as funny in a stupid way. I wasn't crazy about how much titillation was attached to the incest scenes, either.
posted by whir at 11:08 AM on January 28, 2018