Kraven the Hunter (2024) (2024)
December 19, 2024 7:36 AM - Subscribe
Sergei Kravinoff (Aaron Taylor-Johnson)'s complex relationship with his ruthless gangster father, Nikolai (Russell Crowe), starts him down a path of vengeance with brutal consequences, motivating him to become not only the greatest hunter in the world, but also one of its most feared.
if dirtbag Aaron Taylor-Johnson is your particular flavor of tea
What now.
posted by Atreides at 10:17 AM on December 19, 2024
What now.
posted by Atreides at 10:17 AM on December 19, 2024
I’d never heard of this character before (not a Spidey fan at all) all the trailers and ads popped up, and the stills I saw where he’s wearing some kind of vest or whatever made me think it was a Conan the Barbarian fantasy thing. 😒
I was pretty disappointed when I watched a preview clip. I think it’d be a much better story if they’d just put the character in a fanfic-like setting of a Conan AU and skipped the whole missed connection to Spider-Man. Because that clip was enough to show how truly bad it was. You couldn’t make it any worse!
posted by kitten kaboodle at 11:19 AM on December 19, 2024
I was pretty disappointed when I watched a preview clip. I think it’d be a much better story if they’d just put the character in a fanfic-like setting of a Conan AU and skipped the whole missed connection to Spider-Man. Because that clip was enough to show how truly bad it was. You couldn’t make it any worse!
posted by kitten kaboodle at 11:19 AM on December 19, 2024
What's frustrating is that Insomniac just showed that yes, Kraven can be a compelling character with Spider-Man 2 and incorporating "Kraven's Last Hunt" heavily into the plot. Which makes this even more embarrassing, because they did that for Sony!
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:31 PM on December 19, 2024 [3 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:31 PM on December 19, 2024 [3 favorites]
Ooof, that is embarrassing.
So apparently, the Interstellar re-release in just 300+ screens almost beat out Kraven. This article by Collider just drags the film even further pointing out that Wonder Woman '84 did better despite being released during the pandemic simultaneously in theaters and on HBO Max (and doing poorly enough to destroy a third installment). It also noted that it's RT score is 14% and the CinemaScore, a refuge for films that may not hit with critics but still thrills fans, was a dismal C-.
posted by Atreides at 2:21 PM on December 19, 2024
So apparently, the Interstellar re-release in just 300+ screens almost beat out Kraven. This article by Collider just drags the film even further pointing out that Wonder Woman '84 did better despite being released during the pandemic simultaneously in theaters and on HBO Max (and doing poorly enough to destroy a third installment). It also noted that it's RT score is 14% and the CinemaScore, a refuge for films that may not hit with critics but still thrills fans, was a dismal C-.
posted by Atreides at 2:21 PM on December 19, 2024
I probably will watch this when it comes around on basic cable, but man it makes me sad. Kraven might be my favorite spider badguy and was in the first Spider-man comic I ever bought, in the late 70's.
posted by vrakatar at 11:10 AM on December 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by vrakatar at 11:10 AM on December 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
There are worse members of Spider-Man's supporting cast to try to spin off in their own movie series; Kraven is pretty derivative to start with, really just a riff off the old "The Most Dangerous Game" trope, but he got some redemption through J.M. DeMatteis and Mike Zeck's "Kraven's Last Hunt" story in the comics, and more by showing up in the Squirrel Girl book. And, yes, Aaron Taylor-Johnson is indeed quite the snack for people into that sort of thing, as witness his being cued up as the next Bond James Bond.
The thing that I don't get is how listless the Sony Spideyverse movies are in general aside from the ones with Peter and/or Miles in them. Even the Venom films have been a case of diminishing returns, although the last one still made a decent chunk of change and, if Tom Hardy gets tired of all that money, they can always just have the black alien goop batten onto someone else. I'll eventually take a peek at this one when it comes to streaming, but I'm not exactly going to set my alarm for it.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:25 PM on December 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
The thing that I don't get is how listless the Sony Spideyverse movies are in general aside from the ones with Peter and/or Miles in them. Even the Venom films have been a case of diminishing returns, although the last one still made a decent chunk of change and, if Tom Hardy gets tired of all that money, they can always just have the black alien goop batten onto someone else. I'll eventually take a peek at this one when it comes to streaming, but I'm not exactly going to set my alarm for it.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:25 PM on December 20, 2024 [1 favorite]
I am only here to say that we've organized a group watch with some friends tonight, where cannabis will be ample, and have dubbed it Blazin' with Kraven and I'm looking forward to a good time, but probably not the good time the filmmakers intended.
posted by Shepherd at 3:50 AM on January 22 [2 favorites]
posted by Shepherd at 3:50 AM on January 22 [2 favorites]
[Airplane! gif of Leslie Nielsen opening cockpit door: Good Luck, we're all counting on you!]
posted by Atreides at 9:12 AM on January 22 [1 favorite]
posted by Atreides at 9:12 AM on January 22 [1 favorite]
Having survived the experience, here is the Blazin' With Kraven Guide to Surviving Kraven: The Hunter: The Movie...
Before starting:
- Call him "Kevin". Kevin the Hunter. It's way better.
- The title of the movie is now Kevin the Hunter, Manimal's Gap Year Adventure, or Kevin the Hunter: Manimal's Gap Year Adventure.
- Accept that this is a movie written by AI to generate clips for future supercuts.
During the film:
- Since this is a movie written by generative AI, every line in the movie is the most likely thing to follow the previous line. See if you can jump the lines, and get ahead of Kevin and the gang to beat them to the punch with lines like "he's already here," "his blood is on your hands," "money is power," "only one person has this phone number," etc.
- Similarly, try to name the future supercut clips as they come along. Guy Enters Prison And Everyone Is Yelling supercut. Bad Man Plays Chess supercut, Storming Past the Protesting Secretary supercut, Villain Explains the Poison supercut, Guns Drawn As Elevator Arrives supercut, and so on. There are dozens of these, collect 'em all.
- Scope the great onscreen text, such as the newspaper subhead "Dart Poison Untraceable Say Local Authorities."
- Admire the fact that they got Pollox Troy to play Pollox Troy, like straight up Pollox Troy. Which means Castor Troy is somewhere just off-screen, eating a peach, which makes the movie a bit more delightful.
- Seize every opportunity to say "Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."
- Mentally replace whoever is playing "Dimitri" with Zach Woods.
After the film:
- Regret your choices
posted by Shepherd at 2:48 AM on January 23 [2 favorites]
Before starting:
- Call him "Kevin". Kevin the Hunter. It's way better.
- The title of the movie is now Kevin the Hunter, Manimal's Gap Year Adventure, or Kevin the Hunter: Manimal's Gap Year Adventure.
- Accept that this is a movie written by AI to generate clips for future supercuts.
During the film:
- Since this is a movie written by generative AI, every line in the movie is the most likely thing to follow the previous line. See if you can jump the lines, and get ahead of Kevin and the gang to beat them to the punch with lines like "he's already here," "his blood is on your hands," "money is power," "only one person has this phone number," etc.
- Similarly, try to name the future supercut clips as they come along. Guy Enters Prison And Everyone Is Yelling supercut. Bad Man Plays Chess supercut, Storming Past the Protesting Secretary supercut, Villain Explains the Poison supercut, Guns Drawn As Elevator Arrives supercut, and so on. There are dozens of these, collect 'em all.
- Scope the great onscreen text, such as the newspaper subhead "Dart Poison Untraceable Say Local Authorities."
- Admire the fact that they got Pollox Troy to play Pollox Troy, like straight up Pollox Troy. Which means Castor Troy is somewhere just off-screen, eating a peach, which makes the movie a bit more delightful.
- Seize every opportunity to say "Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."
- Mentally replace whoever is playing "Dimitri" with Zach Woods.
After the film:
- Regret your choices
posted by Shepherd at 2:48 AM on January 23 [2 favorites]
What the fuck was this movie?? Imagine someone going in cold, with maybe the barest inkling of the comic character, and being forcefed the introduction of new characters at a rapid fire pace, completely lost.
I went in knowing two things: I knew Kraven was an Spider-Man villain--not the super strong animal rights activist type with a code of honour--and that Paul Giamatti had played the Rhino in one of the past Spider-Man films. That's it.
You have:
* Russell Crowe going full ham with his Russian accent, like it's a bowl of borscht and he cannot fucking get enough
* Some asshole with time slip powers? Who dresses like Top Tier Eurotrash? Who just shows up and then weakly gets tied into the story?
* When I can see the incoming dialogue, you have written a bad film. You can try and handwave it away with "homages" or "tropes," but you wrote a bad fucking movie with cliches I saw coming a mile away. I fucking finished sentences before the characters did.
* Please stop using Tarot cards incorrectly, Hollywood. I beg you.
* No shade on Ariana DeBose but is there a role she is better in? This woman was poorly served with the barest sketch of a role.
* Also, stop appropriating Voudoun veves in movies too, Hollywood.
* Poor Fred Hechinger. The movie really punched that "Dmitri is a weak willed wuss AND he plays the piano." Donning the Turtleneck of Weakness and Adidas slides was certainly a choice from wardrobe.
*Kevin the Hunter parkouring all over the damn place when there are stairs AND a lift right there, my guy.
* Alessandro Nivola's first appearance in the film was Anton Chigurh, CPA because of that haircut.
* The Chameleon, the Foreigner, the Rhino -- stop trying to shove twenty pounds of plot into a five pound bag
* AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS MOVIE
Y'all, I watched Madame Web (not in the theater, obv) and thought it was the worst of the Sony Marvel movies. Kevin the Hunter didn't even try to step over the bar. They laid down alongside it and burrowed under.
posted by Kitteh at 3:45 AM on January 23 [6 favorites]
I went in knowing two things: I knew Kraven was an Spider-Man villain--not the super strong animal rights activist type with a code of honour--and that Paul Giamatti had played the Rhino in one of the past Spider-Man films. That's it.
You have:
* Russell Crowe going full ham with his Russian accent, like it's a bowl of borscht and he cannot fucking get enough
* Some asshole with time slip powers? Who dresses like Top Tier Eurotrash? Who just shows up and then weakly gets tied into the story?
* When I can see the incoming dialogue, you have written a bad film. You can try and handwave it away with "homages" or "tropes," but you wrote a bad fucking movie with cliches I saw coming a mile away. I fucking finished sentences before the characters did.
* Please stop using Tarot cards incorrectly, Hollywood. I beg you.
* No shade on Ariana DeBose but is there a role she is better in? This woman was poorly served with the barest sketch of a role.
* Also, stop appropriating Voudoun veves in movies too, Hollywood.
* Poor Fred Hechinger. The movie really punched that "Dmitri is a weak willed wuss AND he plays the piano." Donning the Turtleneck of Weakness and Adidas slides was certainly a choice from wardrobe.
*Kevin the Hunter parkouring all over the damn place when there are stairs AND a lift right there, my guy.
* Alessandro Nivola's first appearance in the film was Anton Chigurh, CPA because of that haircut.
* The Chameleon, the Foreigner, the Rhino -- stop trying to shove twenty pounds of plot into a five pound bag
* AGAIN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS MOVIE
Y'all, I watched Madame Web (not in the theater, obv) and thought it was the worst of the Sony Marvel movies. Kevin the Hunter didn't even try to step over the bar. They laid down alongside it and burrowed under.
posted by Kitteh at 3:45 AM on January 23 [6 favorites]
This movie seems like it was written by AI and it if wasn't, I hope the screenwriters got paid and enjoy their money.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson is hot and I'm a simple woman whereas sometimes I just want to watch a hot dude kill poachers (although, buddy, maybe do a lot this before they kill the animals). But no, this movie is stupid.
I want to be clear that I am a person who has "enjoyed" most of these Sony Spider-Whatever-Verse movies (mostly Tom Hardy being Venom, to be fair. Did I mention I am a simple woman?))
This is just bad. I'm sad this was the end of the Sony Spider-Whatever. I kind of liked that weirdness.
I hope Russell Crowe enjoyed his day rate anyway.
posted by edencosmic at 6:22 PM on February 7
Aaron Taylor-Johnson is hot and I'm a simple woman whereas sometimes I just want to watch a hot dude kill poachers (although, buddy, maybe do a lot this before they kill the animals). But no, this movie is stupid.
I want to be clear that I am a person who has "enjoyed" most of these Sony Spider-Whatever-Verse movies (mostly Tom Hardy being Venom, to be fair. Did I mention I am a simple woman?))
This is just bad. I'm sad this was the end of the Sony Spider-Whatever. I kind of liked that weirdness.
I hope Russell Crowe enjoyed his day rate anyway.
posted by edencosmic at 6:22 PM on February 7
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posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:18 AM on December 19, 2024