Special Event: Rio 2016 Olympics - Opening Ceremony

August 5, 2016 11:15 AM

It's the opening ceremony for the Rio 2016 Olympics!
posted by cortex (492 comments total)

A few opening ceremonies from years gone by:
London 2012
Beijing 2008
Athens 2004
Sydney 2000

As well as a short overview of opening ceremonies through the years.
posted by frimble at 11:19 AM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm such a sucker for good pageantry, so the opening ceremonies are always one of my favorite parts of the Olympics. So I'm totally looking forward to this, although I'll be watching it a bit late instead of live.

I remember Barcelona in '92 was one of my favorites, with the torch lighting via flaming arrow.
posted by dnash at 11:29 AM on August 5, 2016

I'm so excited, guys!
posted by phunniemee at 11:34 AM on August 5, 2016

I am also excited - love the opening ceremonies.
posted by LobsterMitten at 11:37 AM on August 5, 2016

So many drinking games to choose from...
posted by Melismata at 11:39 AM on August 5, 2016

Given how much she loves the opening ceremonies, it's possible my wife will be setting her own record tonight for greatest number of comments posted in a FanFare thread by a single user.
posted by duffell at 11:41 AM on August 5, 2016

So my plan is to watch it live from some sketchy BBC streaming site because I can't tolerate the NBC commentary. So, uh, thanks to our UK mefites who pay their license fees I guess.
posted by zachlipton at 11:45 AM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh, yeah, where to watch without the inane commentary?
posted by janell at 12:20 PM on August 5, 2016

4 years ago, we were watching the 2012 Olympics with our brand-new baby boy. I highly recommend giving birth directly before the Olympics- it gives you almost two weeks of feel-good, round-the-clock television to entertain you while you settle in with baby.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:28 PM on August 5, 2016 [11 favorites]

although I'll be watching it a bit late instead of live.

Most US viewers won't be seeing it live either -- NBC has a one-hour tape delay for tonight's broadcast (including their online stream).
posted by briank at 12:58 PM on August 5, 2016

I'm not saying "If you have a link to a sketchy BBC streaming site, send it to me," I'm merely posting it here as an unattributed quote.
posted by duffell at 1:23 PM on August 5, 2016 [6 favorites]

I highly recommend giving birth directly before the Olympics
The notion of that as literal advice has given me the proper giggles. You could have recommended it to us nine months ago though!

Can't watch the opening ceremony live because I've got work which is a bit of a shame. Will do my usual Olympics thing of watching a smattering of random sports and disciplines in which I have very little interest usually just because they're available plus, more importantly, being contested by the best in the world (one hopes).
posted by comealongpole at 1:24 PM on August 5, 2016

I'm not saying "If you have a link to a sketchy BBC streaming site, send it to me," I'm merely posting it here as an unattributed quote.

On a completely unrelated topic, I once signed up for a month of Tunnel Bear VPN and was shocked to discover I could watch BBC iPlayer using it. I don't know why I'm mentioning it here, though.
posted by dnash at 2:03 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm in Canada so i'm already in the clear, but on http://olympics.cbc.ca/ they have as a coming up event at 6:50 Eastern the "Opening Ceremony (international feed)" so maybe non-canadians can watch too?
posted by cgg at 2:05 PM on August 5, 2016

I just learned that the Best Bar In The World (tm), just down the block from me, is screening the opening ceremonies. which is perfect since I don't have a TV right now and was wondering how I would see this.

I ain't into the sports stuff but the big whoop-te-do pageantry is always fun. Partly because of the cheese, and also partly because most of the time the athletes are so completely deliriously excited to be there it's adorable. (I still giggle at something I saw during the Turino opening ceremonies - at some point they had a Ferrari drive in and do burnouts directly in the stadium, lighting up sparks as it went, and at some point the coverage cut to the basement of the stadium, where the athletes were waiting to come in and were watching on a closed-circuit TV, and they showed Shaun White was staring with a fully-dropped jaw, all "what the FUCK am I looking at?")
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:10 PM on August 5, 2016

some sketchy BBC streaming site

Can Brazil top the London game's opening ceremony?
posted by marienbad at 2:40 PM on August 5, 2016

I wonder what was the rationale behind doing the ceremonies in Maracanã instead of the proper Olympic Stadium.
posted by lmfsilva at 3:21 PM on August 5, 2016

Watching the CBC feed and it's incredibly better than I'm used to from the US.
posted by DanSachs at 3:43 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

The BBC is airing a recorded piece that highlights differences between the Olympic ideal and reality, describing the Games as "a slave to economic reality," talking about doping, etc... Imagine the chaos if NBC acknowledged the Olympics aren't always great.
posted by zachlipton at 3:49 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

"I wonder what was the rationale behind doing the ceremonies in Maracanã instead of the proper Olympic Stadium."

I initially read this as Macarena (link goes to youtube video) and after rereading, was disappointed that no one is doing the Macarena.
posted by fizzix at 3:51 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Is anyone going to try the virtual reality view? I think I'm going to at least try it.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 3:52 PM on August 5, 2016

watch out for the Refugee Olympic Team: "They will enter the opening ceremony as the penultimate team, before hosts Brazil." #TeamRefugees

here's a story about one of the swimmers...
The Syrian refugee who swam for her life - all the way to the Olympics
posted by kliuless at 3:56 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I've got nothing on the CBC site. Y'all got any of them US-capable links?

I've got NBC up right now but it's just Lester Holt jabbering away.
posted by phunniemee at 3:59 PM on August 5, 2016

Right.

Blue moon chilled beer - check.
Aldi cheese crackers - check.
Neighbors cat to stroke when a little bored - check.
Three packets of Reeses Peanut Butter cups for the price of two from Tesco - check.
Large block of cheese to munch on - check.

Bring it on, Rio...
posted by Wordshore at 4:01 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

It's starting live in the real world, but NBC will be starting an hour delayed on the East Coast, further delayed as you go west.
posted by zachlipton at 4:01 PM on August 5, 2016

Just tested out the VR with google cardboard viewer. Conclusion, i'm going to keep it running so I can view sometimes if I want to, but holding it up to my face for hours would kind of suck. Also, I couldn't type or do anything else while watching. It might be better for people who have strap-on viewers. Right now it's just the view and sound inside the statdium.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:02 PM on August 5, 2016

phunniemee: Using ExpressVPN
posted by DanSachs at 4:02 PM on August 5, 2016

And we're off!
posted by marienbad at 4:03 PM on August 5, 2016

Ok, now that the performance has actually started, the TV is way better than the VR view which is a static camera and not HD, it seems.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:05 PM on August 5, 2016

Neat start...
posted by marienbad at 4:07 PM on August 5, 2016

It's nice of Brazil to choose the colors of MetaFilter for its flag.
posted by Wordshore at 4:09 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Some military looking guys are raising the Brazilian flag - is this some sort of Junta gag or something?
posted by marienbad at 4:10 PM on August 5, 2016

Or the military?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:11 PM on August 5, 2016

This could take a while if we're going all the way back to the primordial ooze.
posted by zachlipton at 4:11 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

That was apparently the Brazil Environmental Police raising the flag.
posted by zachlipton at 4:12 PM on August 5, 2016

Maybe they could do something about the giant mutant spiders.
posted by Etrigan at 4:13 PM on August 5, 2016

They said those represented microbes...anyway before they went to commercial it looked like they were raising trees, so I think we're going to skip ahead from the microbes all the way to the forest.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:13 PM on August 5, 2016

Three huge ______ or native ______ at the centre of the stage. Did anyone catch what those words were?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:14 PM on August 5, 2016

I know these things are supposed to be strange, but oh man, this rainforest stuff...
posted by marienbad at 4:15 PM on August 5, 2016

I'd be curious to hear a demographer's view of whether the arrive of the europeans resulted in diversification of the population.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:16 PM on August 5, 2016

"native huts"
posted by zachlipton at 4:16 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ooh, the buildings are clever.
posted by antiwiggle at 4:23 PM on August 5, 2016

The buildings looking as though they are rising up and the jumpers looks ace.
posted by marienbad at 4:24 PM on August 5, 2016

Holy shit I'm going to blow my families mind with the spoilers I'm gleaning from this thread!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:24 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yeah the dancers jumping across the fake gaps between the buildings are fun.
posted by zachlipton at 4:24 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Needs more spiderman music!
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:25 PM on August 5, 2016

Stuck waiting for the NBC delayed east coast broadcast here. I can't imagine what they are going to blather on about for a full half hour; I am keeping it muted lest I smother myself with a pillow before they start showing the actual ceremony.
posted by usonian at 4:25 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm at Best Bar In The World, and we're still watching some random ESPN thing. But literally as I was typing that sentence the waiter brought me my burger so I'm appeased. I'll just be behind y'all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:25 PM on August 5, 2016

"All in all we're all just another brick in the wall."
posted by marienbad at 4:27 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

OMG, who knew you could build an actual flying plane out of boxes...how does it work"? I though it was held up by wired, but it got out of the stadium?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:27 PM on August 5, 2016

OIC...well I don't care. It's pretty I don't care if it's real. I'm sure the first one was real.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:28 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think the out of stadium bit is a film
posted by TWinbrook8 at 4:29 PM on August 5, 2016

Mrs Brady!
posted by TWinbrook8 at 4:30 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yes, i'm surprised it didn't do more a Christ Redeemer fly-by.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:30 PM on August 5, 2016

"PREVIOUSLY RECORDED" says the bottom of NBC.
dicks.

Oh good, here's some sepia tone stock footage of some fucking boats. THIS IS SO GREAT so glad for the delayed broadcast wouldn't want to miss out on this
posted by phunniemee at 4:31 PM on August 5, 2016

Shoutout to everyone else watching along with the east coast delayed broadcast. Here we go!
posted by capricorn at 4:32 PM on August 5, 2016

I realize she's a pro and this is what she does, but still, to walk so far across the stadium in front of the world wearing those heels, "don't fall down, don't fall down."
posted by zachlipton at 4:32 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I didn't even know Florence Henderson was of Brazillian ancestry.

Just messing with the time-delayed people
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:32 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Some streaming links somehow made their way into my inbox. Thanks, accident of the universe that dropped them there! Sadly, I got home after the start of the opening ceremony in Rio, so we're about to start watching the NBC coverage instead.

I'm on the couch with wife (catastrophewaitress) and our baby, and we're about to pop some popcorn, much of which will be surreptitiously eaten by our cat. Our baby, meanwhile, has recently discovered the joy of me pretending she's an airplane and whooshing her around, so I fully expect her to compete in the 2032 Olympics in Flying.

YAY OLYMPICS!
posted by duffell at 4:33 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yeah Gizelle strutted nicely across the floor.

And now we have social commentary from Claire Balding.
posted by marienbad at 4:33 PM on August 5, 2016

Elza Soares at age 79!
posted by zachlipton at 4:33 PM on August 5, 2016

Time delayers, who's this guy talking right now? Voice sounds so familiar but I can't place it.
posted by phunniemee at 4:34 PM on August 5, 2016

" I highly recommend giving birth directly before the Olympics"

Nailed it!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:34 PM on August 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

They said those represented microbes

Microbes, and something about a message of environmentalism, they said. Then CBC cut to commercials after only 12 minutes, which means I'm not watching them any more. By the time I found an alternate stream (BBC) it was all fuck the environment, we're building densely-populated megacities, and airplanes.
posted by sfenders at 4:34 PM on August 5, 2016

The culture of the favelas is apparently what we in the US would call "80s Q*bert," at least based on the visuals presented here.
posted by zachlipton at 4:35 PM on August 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

I like the fire sperm.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:37 PM on August 5, 2016

I knew I recognised that cubism.
posted by marienbad at 4:37 PM on August 5, 2016

Teh glitter burka costumes combined with the strobing kind of freak me out. It's like they're teleporting or something.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:38 PM on August 5, 2016

Soemthing about celebrating our differences? Don't bother translating CBC...it's all good...
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:39 PM on August 5, 2016

(So NBC is saying it'll only let me stream 30 minutes and it's blown through 10 of those with a blah blah movie and then no transmission , with the clock still ticking. Grr.)
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:40 PM on August 5, 2016

"urging everyone to get along, dance around the stadium" is apparently what she said according to the BBC commentary, no translation either.
posted by zachlipton at 4:40 PM on August 5, 2016

I'm watching the uninterrupted feed without commercials (so far):

http://olympics.cbc.ca/video/live/2016-rio-olympic-games-opening-ceremony-uninterrupted.html

So far, it went from rave to dance party
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 4:41 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm going to guess your 30 minutes restarts with a cookie clearing, or maybe a new browser.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:41 PM on August 5, 2016

Listening to Americans moan about their coverage is the best thing about this thread. Much as I have issues with Auntie Beeb, right now it's Vive La BBC!
posted by marienbad at 4:41 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

They have line dancing in the UK?
posted by sfenders at 4:42 PM on August 5, 2016

Soemthing about celebrating our differences? Don't bother translating CBC...it's all good...
Nope, that's exactly what she said.
posted by lmfsilva at 4:42 PM on August 5, 2016

This kind of feels like "it's been 25 minutes since we had any pyro so let's hit some more now" fireworks.
posted by zachlipton at 4:43 PM on August 5, 2016

Wow...the norther hemisphere is full of assholes, is what I take from that map.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:44 PM on August 5, 2016

"Tonight is also about a supermodel, and we're allowed to tell you...one of Brazil's favorite exports, Gisele Bundchen, delighting her countrymen with...a very sultry walk through this stadium."

Thanks, Lauer.
posted by phunniemee at 4:44 PM on August 5, 2016

This bit is a real downer.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:45 PM on August 5, 2016

Thanks for that, freelancedemiurge.
posted by DanSachs at 4:45 PM on August 5, 2016

CO2 emissions. Wow. They're going dark here.
posted by zachlipton at 4:45 PM on August 5, 2016

I guess if Amsterdam, Dubai, Florida, Shanghai and Llagos want to host an olympic games, they should get on that soon.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:45 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

Judi Dench seems like an odd choice.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:47 PM on August 5, 2016

Ah, Matt Lauer. Somewhere an NBC executive is smugly congratulating himself for his bold leadership in choosing a man with the charisma of stale wonderbread to explain the Rio opening ceremony to his fellow Americans.
posted by duffell at 4:47 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Say what you will about the NBC broadcast but the athletes mugging behind Allyson Felix just made my night.
posted by telegraph at 4:48 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Wow, they are getting pretty dark here.
posted by marienbad at 4:49 PM on August 5, 2016

It's ugly, but it's a flower.

I'm all for flowers and trees, but presenting this as the solution to carbon emissions seems kind of like they didn't do their research.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:49 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh, but I love the athletes forest idea. That's brillian and will be a wonderful legacy of the games if they can keep it alive.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:50 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

This sound (BBC iPlayer/VPN)... I feel I'm at a drive in theatre outside the car.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 4:50 PM on August 5, 2016

So is that it for the performance bit? Am I remembering correctly that once the athletes come in they usually light the flame and that's the end?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:51 PM on August 5, 2016

Here comes the parade!
posted by DanSachs at 4:51 PM on August 5, 2016

Am I remembering correctly that once the athletes come in they usually light the flame and that's the end?

For a moment there I read that as "the athletes come in and are lit aflame" and I thought, that's the Hunger Games.
posted by duffell at 4:53 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Fun fact about the entrance of the athletes and the occasional stupidity of my country: they enter in alphabetical order using the language of the host country. NBC, being assholes, asked the IOC to move the US later, because they feared their audience would turn off the TV early after the US athletes entered. The IOC thankfully refused.
posted by zachlipton at 4:54 PM on August 5, 2016 [8 favorites]

The athletes are filming as they come out, on phones and stuff! Did the IOC sanction this?
posted by marienbad at 4:54 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Why don't see see any athletes planting their seeds? I thought they were supposed to do it as they entered the stadium. I see kids carrying some maturish saplings, which just doesn't seem as meaningful as planting a seed.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:54 PM on August 5, 2016

Athletes were definitely filming and selfie-taking at previous games, too. I was actually thinking there was less of that than I've seen at previous games.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:55 PM on August 5, 2016

BBC making "Germany 7 - 1 Brazil" jokes
posted by marienbad at 4:55 PM on August 5, 2016

The athletes are filming as they come out, on phones and stuff! Did the IOC sanction this?

idk but they did this in London, too. Selfies galore during the opening ceremonies.
posted by phunniemee at 4:55 PM on August 5, 2016

The German women have snappy coats; I like those.
posted by zachlipton at 4:55 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Fun fact about the entrance of the athletes and the occasional stupidity of my country: they enter in alphabetical order using the language of the host country. NBC, being assholes, asked the IOC to move the US later,

Earlier than "E"? WTF?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:56 PM on August 5, 2016

Oh my god, the set with Costas looks like the 70s took a shit on the 60s and wiped with the 50s
posted by Red Loop at 4:56 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think the athletes planting their seed is after the ceremony.
posted by DanSachs at 4:56 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

The wheel on that last tricycle wasn't quite straight. They better fix it before the gold medal race.
posted by sfenders at 4:57 PM on August 5, 2016

What's the over/under on Bob Costas' eyes making it through this Olympiad?
posted by phunniemee at 4:57 PM on August 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

What's with the cheese graters?
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 4:58 PM on August 5, 2016

Still at Best Bar In The World, watching the pre-show coverage on the East Coast with y'all. Although I may settle up once the parade of nations starts and scurry home (one block down the street) and pick things back up with a streaming feed at home. Depending on how crowded the bar gets. (They also have the broadcast on mute with captioning, so I won't hear any of the music....although this also means I don't hear any Lauer nonsense.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:58 PM on August 5, 2016

They just showed athletes poking at a wall of little pots or something? I think that might have been the planting. It was argentine athletes.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 4:58 PM on August 5, 2016

Saudia Arabia with 4 women athletes. Progressive.
posted by marienbad at 4:59 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

Anyone know if there is an international live feed that isn't region locked so that people in weird countries can watch?
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 5:00 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Why don't the former Yugoslav countries have their own teams yet? I would swear I've seen them with teams at previous olympics.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:00 PM on August 5, 2016

What are the Independent Olympic Athletes?
posted by DanSachs at 5:01 PM on August 5, 2016

The Athletes without a country bit - way to stick it to the IOC!
posted by marienbad at 5:02 PM on August 5, 2016

Oh, I know this - the Independent Olympic Athletes are for athletes who placed, but then their countries either dropped out of the IOC or suffered a failure to exist, so they couldn't represent their country officially but are still competing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:02 PM on August 5, 2016

The Independent Olympic Athletes are just Kuwait, but they've been banned form the IOC.

(The refugee team will be at the end before Greece.)
posted by zachlipton at 5:03 PM on August 5, 2016

They're athletes without any country, either because they have some weird citizenship situation individually or because their country ceased to exist. But I'm not sure why some of those are from the former Yugoslav countries this time.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:03 PM on August 5, 2016

They are planting seeds in the stadium - nice touch.
posted by marienbad at 5:03 PM on August 5, 2016

I like the volunteers with ponchos with big arrows on them lining the route. It makes sure nobody tries to go the wrong way.
posted by zachlipton at 5:05 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Love the Christmas sweater touch to the Belarus flag.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:05 PM on August 5, 2016

Anyone know if there is an international live feed that isn't region locked so that people in weird countries can watch?

I doubt it. I think that part of the agreement with broadcasters is that they'll region-block their streams, because other countries' broadcasters have exclusive rights. Could you somehow spoof an address in a country that streams? I don't know the technical stuff.

Urgh. I have 30 minutes free on the US feed, and it's been five minutes of ads and filler. This is kind of bullshit.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:05 PM on August 5, 2016

I actually liked the Independent Athletes in the London Olympics - they were all having a BLAST walking in; they were waiving, playing air guitar, etc. It was like they sort of figured "well, we're screwed athletically, so we're just gonna have fun."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:05 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I like these overhead drone shots.
posted by Small Dollar at 5:06 PM on August 5, 2016

I heard somewhere that they had to cut the budget for this opening like whoa.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:08 PM on August 5, 2016

And I kind of want one of those mylar shiny pillow thingies.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:09 PM on August 5, 2016

Are they recycling those Dr. Seuss tricycle drivers? Cause I keep seeing the same 2 dudes.
posted by chococat at 5:10 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Commercials? Seriously? Ugh.
posted by Stynxno at 5:10 PM on August 5, 2016

they'll region-block their streams

I can't say what it'd be like without a serious ad-blocker setup, but this one is at least free of that particular problem.
posted by sfenders at 5:11 PM on August 5, 2016

Although DAMN YOU NBC for interripting the coverage to show an ad about THE SKY RAINING OCTOPODS.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:11 PM on August 5, 2016

It's almost us! It's almost us! Get ready!
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:11 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

TIL the full name of the country of Brunei.
posted by DanSachs at 5:12 PM on August 5, 2016

YAYYYYY
posted by chococat at 5:12 PM on August 5, 2016

Oh, I'm ready, Peter!
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:12 PM on August 5, 2016

Blue Sky really dropped the ball by not having a Rio 3 ready in time.
posted by Small Dollar at 5:12 PM on August 5, 2016

I'm on edge about the Olympics this year, but I do still like seeing the Opening Ceremony. Commercials, though. Blargh.
posted by PearlRose at 5:13 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I just saw that the metal seed-planting boxes have flags (at least one had the Albanian flag). I wonder if they plan to have national sections in the athletes forest. Since not every tree will survive, this seems like it would kind of suck for the really tiny countries since it would be inevitable that some would end up with no trees at all.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:15 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

How does the seed planting work exactly? It seems like they could be dumping more than one seed in the same pod?
posted by zachlipton at 5:15 PM on August 5, 2016

And Chad, the brosiest of countries.
posted by lmfsilva at 5:16 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

The children carrying the saplings are the cutest.
posted by DanSachs at 5:18 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Okay - those of y'all on the live feed, what came between the mylar pillow stuff and the raising the Brazillian flag? we had a commercial.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:18 PM on August 5, 2016

China carrying a mix of Brazil and Chinese flags.
posted by zachlipton at 5:19 PM on August 5, 2016

So that was a pretty clear view of the planting. It looks like they approach the metal stand having received one seed and there's a sort of supervisor there who points them to where to plant? It looks like what sticks out of the big metal box is just a bunch of little funnel-like things that lead into the pots, which are presumably inside?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:19 PM on August 5, 2016

The NBC stream just died right when things were kicking off and is now asking me to sign in. The pirate streams are way ahead in the middle of the parade already. Is there anywhere I can go back to where I was on the 1 hour delay (CDT)?
posted by theodolite at 5:20 PM on August 5, 2016

Clear your cookies and reload NBC. Someone was saying there's a 30 minute limit.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:20 PM on August 5, 2016

Or open a private/incognito mode window and try NBC there.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:21 PM on August 5, 2016

Well done CBC, focus on Canadian athletes milling around on the side while countries float by
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 5:21 PM on August 5, 2016

Oh is that what the metal stands are! I thought it was a donation box for coins or something (slept in, missed the show, and Australia's entrance :()
posted by pianissimo at 5:22 PM on August 5, 2016

Ah, they just showed an athlete being handed a new little planter thing and slotting that into a spot. No double-planting issues :)
posted by jdherg at 5:23 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Cook Islands have pretty good outfits.
posted by zachlipton at 5:23 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

EmpressCallipygos - nothing.
posted by marienbad at 5:23 PM on August 5, 2016

Wait, I was getting into the weaving thing and then NBC of course cut away to a commercial.
posted by TwoStride at 5:24 PM on August 5, 2016

FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK!

Are there any livestreams that WON'T interrupt you with a commercial during the actual ceremony itself?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:25 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

NBC is stretching this 25 minute opening into a 2 hr event
posted by Stynxno at 5:25 PM on August 5, 2016

Cuba got a big cheer from the audience.
posted by DanSachs at 5:25 PM on August 5, 2016

Nope, the incognito one just keeps refreshing the page over and over. Alright cool I guess I'll do something else tonight
posted by theodolite at 5:25 PM on August 5, 2016

I'm going to send NBC my mom's apple pie recipe and see if they can completely ruin that too
posted by duffell at 5:26 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Broadcaster I'm listening to on what must be the BBC broadcast judging by the Scottish accents just blamed her bumbling of a pronunciation on "too many caipirinhas", heh.
posted by cortex at 5:26 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

For those who want to watch the BBC stream, try a search for UK proxy server, and see if you can do it that way.
posted by marienbad at 5:26 PM on August 5, 2016

EmpressCallipygos: you realize NBC isn't live, right? Over 1 hr delay at this point.
posted by Stynxno at 5:27 PM on August 5, 2016

Good on you African Countries, for not sending your flight attendants and private school kids to the games.
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 5:27 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

There was a good feed posted earlier. Search for ceremony-uninterrupted.
posted by DanSachs at 5:28 PM on August 5, 2016

Oh, so they're pausing the playback during the commercials? Okay.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:29 PM on August 5, 2016

The drivers are being re-used, the BBC commentator just said he's seen the same guy go round. Also on the long shot you could see at the end of the walk in there are people funelling the athletes towards different sides.
posted by marienbad at 5:29 PM on August 5, 2016

I've also got NBC on, seems like they picked up where they left off before the commercial.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 5:29 PM on August 5, 2016

I can't imagine what they are going to blather on about for a full half hour

Commercial breaks. So they can skip the entrance of countries that they find boring with more commercial breaks.
posted by holgate at 5:30 PM on August 5, 2016

I realize every country needs coaches and graft-filled officials, but the countries where the delegation is led (after the flag-bearer) by a bunch of bald old men in suits with actual athletes behind them are irritating.
posted by zachlipton at 5:30 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

UAE had a female flag bearer, but the Danish one had to fight for her spot apparently
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 5:32 PM on August 5, 2016

The Toronto Star's Bruce Arthur might be worth following on Twitter for these games if this kind of thing is your speed:

Life lesson: the best Opening Ceremony athlete outfits are the ones that do not include blazers
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:32 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

According to the BBC commentary, Slovenia has flown in a planeload of Slovenians to help cheer for their athletes. Every country should get that provided for them.
posted by zachlipton at 5:32 PM on August 5, 2016

The bit about the waves of immigration is choking me up a little for some reason.
posted by PearlRose at 5:32 PM on August 5, 2016

"Spain are, ah, taking their time." All three hundred nine of them.
posted by cortex at 5:34 PM on August 5, 2016

USA! USA!
posted by DanSachs at 5:35 PM on August 5, 2016

"You know who" - CBC
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 5:35 PM on August 5, 2016

It's probably siesta time.
posted by zachlipton at 5:35 PM on August 5, 2016

US gets to come in fairly early by virtue of "Estados..."
posted by cortex at 5:35 PM on August 5, 2016

John Kerry is apparently making sure he gets this on his instagram.
posted by zachlipton at 5:36 PM on August 5, 2016

(NBC feed: ok, the flipping around the city rooftops part is super cool).
posted by TwoStride at 5:36 PM on August 5, 2016

BBC commentators are throwing shade on NBC for tape-delaying the broadcast.
posted by zachlipton at 5:37 PM on August 5, 2016 [8 favorites]

Heh - Americans cheering that they come in early... I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere...
posted by marienbad at 5:37 PM on August 5, 2016

John Kerry is apparently making sure he gets this on his instagram.

Nah, there's a rare pokémon in the middle of the arena.
posted by duffell at 5:37 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

It's like Spiderman meets Parkour!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:38 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

This sound (BBC iPlayer/VPN)... I feel I'm at a drive in theatre outside the car.

The BBC no-commentary version (red button in the UK) is fine. It looks like you either get commentary with stadium sound as if you're standing in the car park, or no commentary and something straight from the sound board. (It's the same for ARD in Germany, so I think it's down to the production setup in Rio.)
posted by holgate at 5:38 PM on August 5, 2016

It's so K-pop!
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:38 PM on August 5, 2016

Yeah, that's fantastic, zachpilton. made me laugh out loud when I heard it
posted by marienbad at 5:39 PM on August 5, 2016

In fairness, the BBC commentators are not shy about throwing shade on nearly everybody.
posted by LobsterMitten at 5:39 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Watching these pink people hop around I can't help but think PARKOUR! PARKOUR! in Michael Scott voice.
posted by phunniemee at 5:39 PM on August 5, 2016

Our Aussie commentator "Team USA are entering the stadium earlier than usual because of the difference in the Portuguese alphabet". Uh, I think you mean language dude.
posted by pianissimo at 5:39 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Ugh, if you're not Eastern/Central you don't just have NBC time delay nonsense you have time zone nonsense to deal with. It's supposed to start at some point here amidst all the commericals but I'm not sure if I want to bother.
posted by rewil at 5:39 PM on August 5, 2016

Archery is the national sport of Bhutan? I had no idea! That's the only sport I have my Tivo set to record so far.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:39 PM on August 5, 2016

> so maybe non-canadians can watch too

I'm near Seattle and am watching it on see-butt (lol).
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:41 PM on August 5, 2016

Ugh, if you're not Eastern/Central you don't just have NBC time delay nonsense you have time zone nonsense to deal with. It's supposed to start at some point here amidst all the commericals but I'm not sure if I want to bother.

Gotta love that Free Market.
posted by marienbad at 5:41 PM on August 5, 2016

There's a table full of people next to me at Best Bar In The World, and they just happened to glance up during the parkour part and they all were asking "what the hell does this have to do with Brazil?"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:42 PM on August 5, 2016

Africa and the island countries are really running away with the outfit prize.
posted by LobsterMitten at 5:44 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Is it normal to keep referring to a human woman as an export because Lauer's done it twice now.
posted by phunniemee at 5:45 PM on August 5, 2016 [6 favorites]

"I bet this is emotional for her."
jfc.
posted by phunniemee at 5:45 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

UK! UK! UK! er, wait, GB! GB! GB!
posted by marienbad at 5:45 PM on August 5, 2016

Poor Liriano, with his Jays debut going up against the Olympic opening ceremonies.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:46 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Snazzy blazers, South Korea!
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:49 PM on August 5, 2016

I'm kind of loving those watching it in real time, because now you're giving me the heads up on which countries to look for (assuming NBC will even show them rather than just giving us 25 minutes of Michael Phelps).
posted by TwoStride at 5:50 PM on August 5, 2016

Good luck not seeing Croatia, TwoStride. They seem to have made their jackets from the waxed paper you sometimes get your burger served on, when it's in a plastic basket.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:51 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

The two women rapping are AMAZING!
posted by duffell at 5:51 PM on August 5, 2016

TwoStride - it is in a strange order...

The Hungarian women's dresses - some of them the lines lined up and some they didn't like they had been printed wrong or stitched together wrong?
posted by marienbad at 5:52 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Iranian flag bearer in a wheelchair! Paralympics and Olympics represent

Yet Iraq is all male.
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 5:52 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Peter Mansbridge: "You know, you don't often hear funny stories about Iran."
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:52 PM on August 5, 2016

India's men's field hockey team skipped the opening ceremony because their outfits didn't fit properly
posted by zachlipton at 5:52 PM on August 5, 2016

OH MY GOD THESE GIANT SPARKLY GHILLIE SUITS I CAN'T
posted by phunniemee at 5:53 PM on August 5, 2016

The technical term is "glitter burka."
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:54 PM on August 5, 2016

Somebody please tell me they also see some people who look like they're dressed up like Teletubbies becuase otherwise I'll have to ask if someone spiked my burger.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:54 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

wow, Zahra Nemati
posted by LobsterMitten at 5:55 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Teletubbies and also some Elmos are dancing right now for me!
posted by TwoStride at 5:55 PM on August 5, 2016

Iceland! Yeah, I was looking forward to seeing them again.
posted by marienbad at 5:55 PM on August 5, 2016

It's very 70s-trippy.
posted by TwoStride at 5:55 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have not seen that, EmpressCallipygos. But there's a lot to absorb.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:55 PM on August 5, 2016

Uh oh, El Salvador and South Korea go to the same tailor; this could get awkward.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:56 PM on August 5, 2016

are you guys seeing the very large chicken too
posted by phunniemee at 5:56 PM on August 5, 2016

Giant chicken!
posted by Small Dollar at 5:57 PM on August 5, 2016

The Beijing opener was awe-inspiring, but I have to say, this is way, way, way more FUN. Like, I want to be partying down with people at the Rio opening ceremony right now!
posted by duffell at 5:57 PM on August 5, 2016

Kiribati's flagbearer is stoked.
posted by LobsterMitten at 5:57 PM on August 5, 2016

I'm not seeing the chicken.
posted by marienbad at 5:57 PM on August 5, 2016

Where is my giant chicken, Canada?
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:58 PM on August 5, 2016

I did not see the giant chicken and I now feel deprived. (Unless it's in the parade of nations.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:58 PM on August 5, 2016

"We hate to take a break right now but we have to"
[15 seconds of Michael Phelps' face for no reason]
posted by phunniemee at 5:58 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Football on 9/11!
posted by Small Dollar at 5:58 PM on August 5, 2016

So the people in the duct-tape ponchos with the pink arrows -- they're improvising their choreography on the spot, right?
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:58 PM on August 5, 2016

That was great! Some history of Brazil with not too much glossed over, some fun dancing, and all at a fiscally responsible scale! I only wish that Matt Lauer would stop talking and leave the information-giving to Meredith or Hoda.
posted by CatastropheWaitress at 5:59 PM on August 5, 2016

I feel the chaos in this thread reflects the chaos in Rio very well.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:59 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I want one of those Lesotho hats.
posted by zachlipton at 6:00 PM on August 5, 2016

I missed something. Do I win something if I spot the giant chicken? Where the fuck is the giant chicken?
posted by duffell at 6:00 PM on August 5, 2016

And the entire population of Lichtenstein is competing.
posted by cortex at 6:01 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

All of Liechtenstein showed up.
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 6:02 PM on August 5, 2016

oh damn you
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 6:02 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Did Perdue send an Olympic team?
posted by DanSachs at 6:02 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think the giant chicken is just the late people messing with us live people cause they're bitter that they missed Florence Henderson.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:02 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

The Canadian announcer feels John Kerry will be posting the photos he just took on Instagram.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:02 PM on August 5, 2016

Who wore it better: Kid Rock or Liberia? (Yes, the Liberia flag is intentionally based on the US flag.)
posted by zachlipton at 6:03 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

proof of chicken
posted by phunniemee at 6:03 PM on August 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

Just a reminder that the opening ceremony of the 1996 Olympics included this.
posted by duffell at 6:04 PM on August 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

Malawi's dancing
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:04 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got that Malta flag bit right at trivia night once.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:06 PM on August 5, 2016

This climate change lesson is weird.
posted by TwoStride at 6:06 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

OK so the chicken was in the performance at the beginning, which I missed? And some of you are watching that? While I watch Fiji walk in? This is very confusing.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:06 PM on August 5, 2016

Mozambique is bringing grunge back with these flannel shirts.
posted by cortex at 6:07 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Mauritious look like flight attendants.
posted by marienbad at 6:07 PM on August 5, 2016

there has always been chicken
there will always be chicken
giant chicken is eternal
posted by phunniemee at 6:08 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

All of Monaco went to English public school.
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 6:09 PM on August 5, 2016

there has always been chicken
there will always be chicken
giant chicken is eternal

Was this meant for the Orange is the New Black post?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:09 PM on August 5, 2016

> This is very confusing

OH GOD please ignore everything I have said -- I didn't realize I'm on Tivo delay. Uh. This is not The corpse in the library. This is someone else using her account. She wouldn't be that clueless.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:09 PM on August 5, 2016 [8 favorites]

Mozambique look like some 70s lounge act.
posted by marienbad at 6:09 PM on August 5, 2016

I just ate chicken while watching the ceremony. ..does that make me bad?

I joke
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:09 PM on August 5, 2016

Myanmar men are wearing trousers now?
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:12 PM on August 5, 2016

Nauru are "officially the most overweight population in the world." I'm not sure calling a country fat is really the best way to welcome them to the Olympics, BBC.
posted by zachlipton at 6:13 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Nauru! wait, who?
posted by marienbad at 6:13 PM on August 5, 2016

I have nbc live commerals thanks nbc.
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:13 PM on August 5, 2016

Norway brought those horrible jackets from the winter Olympics, right?

(I want one)>
posted by lmfsilva at 6:14 PM on August 5, 2016

Some of these teams are tiny, but even Jamaica had a decent sized team, how does that work? Looks like a good topic for an FPP if anyone is knowledgeable about it.
posted by marienbad at 6:15 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

I want bbc.

NBC called the Brazilian famous model their most recognizable export. WTF.
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:15 PM on August 5, 2016

Holy cow, Norway! Flashback time.
posted by marienbad at 6:16 PM on August 5, 2016

New Zealand with the.... cow pelts?
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:16 PM on August 5, 2016

Norway going for dazzle camouflage with their jackets.
posted by zachlipton at 6:16 PM on August 5, 2016

Papua New Guinea going for Savannah camouflage
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 6:19 PM on August 5, 2016

even Jamaica had a decent sized team, how does that work

Off the top of my head: decided to essentially specialize in one sport (as Jamaica does in track and field). So they've got infrastructure there and talent-spot very, very early.
posted by TwoStride at 6:21 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Wow, the Polish women's skirts are amazing.
posted by marienbad at 6:21 PM on August 5, 2016

(Also, track as something with a zillion different events, thus bulking up your Olympic contingent).
posted by TwoStride at 6:21 PM on August 5, 2016

I love Poland's look. Subtle tie-dye.
posted by zachlipton at 6:22 PM on August 5, 2016

TwoStride - I know this, I meant the team size doesn't correspond to the country size and why other countries couldn't/didn't do this.
posted by marienbad at 6:23 PM on August 5, 2016

Every time Smiling Animatronic Sofía Vergara pedals by on the Dr. Seuss bike it makes me chuckle.
posted by chococat at 6:23 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Kyrgyzstan hats!
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:24 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

When is the New Republic of Gary going to enter?
posted by duffell at 6:25 PM on August 5, 2016

Portugal with the fashion jeans!
posted by zachlipton at 6:25 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Hahaha Russian Plant Kid looks bored out of his mind
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 6:25 PM on August 5, 2016

loving this giddy Freddie Mercury looking fella in the independent athletes delegation
posted by phunniemee at 6:25 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Romania's look like school uniforms. Especially the women's outfit.
posted by marienbad at 6:25 PM on August 5, 2016

LOL Russian dude with his iPhone flash on. You are LIGHTING UP that stadium!
posted by chococat at 6:26 PM on August 5, 2016 [4 favorites]

I wonder what country has the smallest population to athlete ratio. There aren't many Samoan athletes, but there aren't all that many Samoans in general.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:27 PM on August 5, 2016

Russia look like they are going boating.
posted by marienbad at 6:27 PM on August 5, 2016

Blazers, blazers, blazers! Why so many blazers?
posted by CatastropheWaitress at 6:27 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I meant the team size doesn't correspond to the country size and why other countries couldn't/didn't do this.

Qualifying standards. Some teams and competitors get what's essentially a wild card in some events if they don't meet the standard -- it depends on the federation, because individual federations govern each event, not the IOC -- and others don't.
posted by holgate at 6:28 PM on August 5, 2016

San Marino looking very dapper.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:29 PM on August 5, 2016

Are the plant kids from the host country or the team's?
posted by DanSachs at 6:29 PM on August 5, 2016

American Samoa has a guy with a big staff, just because.
posted by zachlipton at 6:29 PM on August 5, 2016

Barbados rocking blazers !
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:29 PM on August 5, 2016

Abraham Lincoln was an honorary citizen of San Marino!
posted by Secretariat at 6:30 PM on August 5, 2016

Lauer just spent 15 seconds talking about foreigners, so I guess he felt the need to needlessly mention how big the US delegation is, apropos of nothing.
posted by duffell at 6:31 PM on August 5, 2016

Now that I think of it these little kids didn't all travel thousands of miles.
posted by DanSachs at 6:31 PM on August 5, 2016

> Are the plant kids from the host country or the team's

My guess is they're Brazilian, based on appearances of the countries they're walking with vs the kids themselves.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:31 PM on August 5, 2016

Senegal!
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:31 PM on August 5, 2016

Benin looks like pineapples and I love it.
posted by phunniemee at 6:32 PM on August 5, 2016

Props to the Serbian women for wearing the cover of that Elliot Smith album on their skirts.
posted by chococat at 6:32 PM on August 5, 2016

Wtf Matt Lauer
posted by mothershock at 6:32 PM on August 5, 2016

Benin lookin' sharp!
posted by TwoStride at 6:32 PM on August 5, 2016

Rad skirts on Serbia.
posted by cortex at 6:33 PM on August 5, 2016

mothershock: What did he do?
posted by DanSachs at 6:33 PM on August 5, 2016

Just tactlessly brought up the fact that brother of one of the Belgian athletes was a terrorist
posted by mothershock at 6:35 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

The icky Toyota commercial CBUT just showed needs its own thread. Ew ew ew.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:35 PM on August 5, 2016

mothershock: the Canadian announcers did that, too.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:36 PM on August 5, 2016

Can confirm tacklessness.
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:37 PM on August 5, 2016

South Sudan (in black) dances in after the more staid Sudan (in white).
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:37 PM on August 5, 2016

Sweden, with, er, provocative outfits provided by H&M.
posted by zachlipton at 6:38 PM on August 5, 2016

To be fair, though, "WTF Matt Lauer" could be an appropriate response to virtually anything he says.
posted by mothershock at 6:38 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Job Advert: Photogenic people needed. Must be able to ride a trike.
posted by marienbad at 6:39 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

If you're going to wear blazers, Tajikistan shows how it's done.
posted by zachlipton at 6:40 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Cameroon's outfits are stunning.
posted by TwoStride at 6:40 PM on August 5, 2016

Cambodia with purple peplum dresses. Yes.
posted by phunniemee at 6:40 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

the Thais mixing it up, more than 2 outfits.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:42 PM on August 5, 2016

Wordshore, I assume the giant cheese grater decor we're seeing here is for you.
posted by phunniemee at 6:42 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Tonga, oiled up.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:42 PM on August 5, 2016

"He's either hot or he's a show-off" - Canadian announcers, re the Tongan flagbearer.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:43 PM on August 5, 2016

So, do we have a solid-color outfit for every color yet?

Yellow - Mongolia
green - the Senegalese men, but I feel like there must have been another
blue - Rwanda
purple - (one country had a dark magenta, with bowler-esque hats..?)
Orange - (there was one, anybody remember which?)
Red - ?
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:43 PM on August 5, 2016

Oily.
posted by chococat at 6:43 PM on August 5, 2016

Thanks Tonga. Did you trade for all that oil from one of the Middle Eastern delegations?
posted by zachlipton at 6:44 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Tuvalu: 1 Olympic athlete for every 10,600 people!
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:44 PM on August 5, 2016

Oh man, the eyebrows from Tonga's flagbearer. He coulda got a gig as a bike rider.
posted by cortex at 6:44 PM on August 5, 2016

Wasn't Canada solid-red, LobsterMitten?
posted by duffell at 6:45 PM on August 5, 2016

The male BBC commentator is obsessed with which countries have oil industries.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:45 PM on August 5, 2016

Chile had a self stick.
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:46 PM on August 5, 2016

I think the honor of Yellow should go to the Swedish women.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:46 PM on August 5, 2016

Cambodia was solid purple!
posted by phunniemee at 6:46 PM on August 5, 2016

I wonder if any of the countries recycle these outfits for use by their national airlines.
Some of them give me the vibe of walking by the cabin crew as I'm getting off a plane. "B'bye. Bye now. Goodbye. Bye. Bye now. B'bye."
posted by chococat at 6:46 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

The Ugandan women are wearing beautiful ballgowns.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:46 PM on August 5, 2016

I'm adding the -stans to the best outfits list.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:47 PM on August 5, 2016

Tuvalu, the only delegation with one athlete. He plays soccer/football but it going to try running, because why not?
posted by zachlipton at 6:47 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

May I just say that nbc is terrible. So many commercials, it totally destroyed the flow of the narrative.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 6:48 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Ukraine women's outfit is nice in dress form, but that top the men and some of the women are wearing, wtf
posted by marienbad at 6:48 PM on August 5, 2016

Uganda dancing too!
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:49 PM on August 5, 2016

Vanuatu forgot to have a team meeting on shirts: untucked or tucked.
posted by zachlipton at 6:50 PM on August 5, 2016

British Virgin Islands = 1 athlete per 7,125 people. Even better!
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:50 PM on August 5, 2016

And nbc is skipping some coverage for commerals.
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:51 PM on August 5, 2016

Awwww, the cheer for the refugee Olympic athletes.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:51 PM on August 5, 2016

but that top the men and some of the women are wearing, wtf

I'd wear one. But I also like early 90s tennis shirts.
posted by lmfsilva at 6:51 PM on August 5, 2016

I'd wear the Cook Islands dress.
posted by TwoStride at 6:52 PM on August 5, 2016

British Virgin Islands - the team of choice for accountants.
posted by marienbad at 6:52 PM on August 5, 2016

Refugees getting a big hand
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:52 PM on August 5, 2016

Brazil is walking in to "Brazil"?!?
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:52 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Alright...everyone's here! Back to the show!
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:53 PM on August 5, 2016

When I think "Brazil," I think "pleated khakis and navy blazers."
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:53 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Wow Croatia, those are

shirts
posted by duffell at 6:54 PM on August 5, 2016

Did they just say Brazil was on top of the podium on night one? Did they already win a gold? i thought the only sports already played were the team things where there are lots of rounds.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:55 PM on August 5, 2016

Okay, what happens next? No speeches, I hope.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:55 PM on August 5, 2016

Terry Gilliam ruined the song for me, but it's certainly perfect.
posted by zachlipton at 6:55 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

These arrow dancer poncho people.
Why do I get the feeling that the costume designer here just gave their kid a bag of washi tape and some poster board and told them to go for it.
posted by phunniemee at 6:56 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

The cheese grater team getting much love
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 6:57 PM on August 5, 2016

Lighting of the torch must be near.
posted by DanSachs at 6:57 PM on August 5, 2016

Damn, Dominica, I love you, but what is up with those plaid vests?
posted by Bunny Boneyology at 6:57 PM on August 5, 2016

Ok, when there are only two athletes in a delegation (I'm watching Dominica right now), I hope that they agree to split the flag-bearing duties and the other one gets to handle the Closing Ceremony honors.
posted by TwoStride at 6:57 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Why is it whenever they show the IOC officials they all look dour and bored? There's not a hint of happiness or a slight bit of emotion or excitement. Come on, something should make you smile, if only the thought of all the money the athletes aren't getting from this.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 6:58 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

Okay, what happens next? No speeches, I hope.

It's not the Olympics until we hear a speech from Thomas "I swear that preventing doping is absolutely important to me as long as you don't expect me to do anything about it" Bach.
posted by zachlipton at 6:58 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I suspect the authorities are going to find a bunch of naked leprechauns tied up in a locker in Dominica's room after the broadcast.
posted by phunniemee at 6:58 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Holy shit, cheese grater seizure alert
posted by chococat at 6:59 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Short speaches from the IOC and the temporary Brazilian president and then hopefully the flame.

Love the pot-plant, confetti-bomb olympic rings.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 6:59 PM on August 5, 2016

The gray jumpsuits with gray baseball caps and mirror monolith dance to "Brazil" has got to be deliberate Gilliam, no?
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:59 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

That confetti! The poor MPEG encoder!
posted by zachlipton at 7:01 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

Meredith Vieira helpfully explaining to Americans how Africa works after every country's delegation comes out.
posted by phunniemee at 7:01 PM on August 5, 2016

My stream is really bogging down but taht exploding green ring logo was pretty cool.
posted by cortex at 7:02 PM on August 5, 2016

The people behind the guy making the speech are going crazy.
posted by marienbad at 7:05 PM on August 5, 2016

I realize this man is speaking to a gazillion people around the world and is holding it together than I ever would, but he's literally shaking.
posted by zachlipton at 7:05 PM on August 5, 2016

Why did they boo?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:06 PM on August 5, 2016

And speaking creditably in, I think, three languages. He's doing great.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:06 PM on August 5, 2016

Screw you, I *am* interested in Micronesia!
posted by TwoStride at 7:07 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

At least four so far, Portuguese, English, French and Italian, I've heard.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:07 PM on August 5, 2016

(or is it just English and Portuguese? maybe no French in there?)
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:07 PM on August 5, 2016

Yeah I didn't catch what the boo was for.
posted by chococat at 7:08 PM on August 5, 2016

Ah good.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:08 PM on August 5, 2016

Don't flatter yourself or your fucking hair, Matt.
Your head is nowhere near so glorious.
posted by phunniemee at 7:10 PM on August 5, 2016

Screw you, NBC, I want to see Ethiopia! Fiji too. I bet their outfits are on point.
posted by duffell at 7:12 PM on August 5, 2016

"the universe of the digital magic" - yes.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:12 PM on August 5, 2016

Omg this guy makes quiet groany noises after every sentence he says it's awesome
posted by chococat at 7:12 PM on August 5, 2016

Okay I went into the kitchen and fixed a big salad and they are still speechifying.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:13 PM on August 5, 2016

Wow he can barely hold his hands still. I want to give him a hug.

I last shook like that in 10th Grade English, when doing a presentation on a book I hadn't read.
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 7:13 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh yay, we get to see Ethiopia & friends after all! Sorry for the "Screw you," NBC.
posted by duffell at 7:15 PM on August 5, 2016

Estonia had tripletts!
posted by AlexiaSky at 7:15 PM on August 5, 2016

So, I'm not sure why they had to tell us that the Estonian triplets were blonde-haired and blue-eyed.
posted by TwoStride at 7:15 PM on August 5, 2016

Estonia had tripletts!

I would've thought they were too old for that.
posted by duffell at 7:16 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Go team ROT!
posted by chococat at 7:16 PM on August 5, 2016

Thank you volunteers for working for free! I get €225,000/year, a $900 per diem, plus a suite in a luxury hotel and full catering, and that's what comes over the table.
posted by zachlipton at 7:16 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh, the cheese graters are for the seeds.
posted by phunniemee at 7:18 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

GHAANAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAaaaAAAAAAAAaaaa!

Ghana.
posted by CatastropheWaitress at 7:20 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ghana is all in different bright patterns. So much better than the fussy little matching blazers.
posted by phunniemee at 7:20 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Some background on Kipchoge Keino and this new Olympic Laurel award.
posted by zachlipton at 7:21 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Kip Keino!
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:22 PM on August 5, 2016

I was feeling smug about not being time delayed but now I'm stuck listening to the IOC guy's speech and you guys get to watch happy people dancing in rad outfits and also blazers.
posted by cortex at 7:22 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

"Whose name means he was born near the green storage shed." That seems like an odd detail to add. Did I hear that right?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:22 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Love this guy. Name means "born near a grain storage shed."
posted by chococat at 7:24 PM on August 5, 2016

This is like the 15th country what's come out wearing trilbys.
posted by phunniemee at 7:24 PM on August 5, 2016

That's a lot of information to cram into such a short name.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:25 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

He's trying so hard and he's so nervous and real. Love him.
posted by chococat at 7:26 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah I really feel for him.
posted by marienbad at 7:27 PM on August 5, 2016

So I guess the acting president is the target of the booing.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:27 PM on August 5, 2016

NBC's random cuts back to the USA team is driving me bonkers.
posted by PearlRose at 7:27 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Every two years I get irrationally angry at NBC's TOTAL BULLSHIT coverage of the Olympics and I can already tell this year will be no different.
posted by triggerfinger at 7:28 PM on August 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

Wow, heavy booing!
posted by marienbad at 7:29 PM on August 5, 2016

Is... pele going to make an appearance?
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:30 PM on August 5, 2016

I mean, seriously, we have two different trains of conversation going in this thread - one from everyone who is watching it live AS IT SHOULD BE WATCHED, and the rest of us watching stupid, bullshit NBC with commercial cuts during nations they've deemed unimportant.
posted by triggerfinger at 7:30 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

Ivory Coast is trending on Twitter, because apparently people are really confused about this whole Côte d'Ivoire thing.
posted by zachlipton at 7:30 PM on August 5, 2016

I don't think so, Twinbrook8, but I could be wrong. I think he has been ill recently.
posted by marienbad at 7:31 PM on August 5, 2016

Is... pele going to make an appearance?

He was, but he's unfortunately too ill and pulled out. The cauldron lighter is a surprise now.
posted by zachlipton at 7:32 PM on August 5, 2016

NBC isn't cutting anything, they're just pausing between countries.
posted by Small Dollar at 7:33 PM on August 5, 2016

Political Geography Now (PolGeoNow.com) has a page on the Olympic Parade of Nations, which answers the question of who's in and who's out:

Unrecognized countries that are Olympic Nations
These days, to qualify as a new Olympic Nation you have to be an "independent State recognised by the international community". The most obvious way to meet that is to be an official member or observer state in the United Nations (UN). However, there are three non-UN countries that also participate:

- Taiwan
- Palestine
- Kosovo

...
Which countries are new to the Olympics?
There are two new Olympic Nations that have been approved since the last games: Kosovo, the disputed breakaway state mentioned above, and South Sudan, which became independent and joined the UN in 2011. At the time of the 2008 and 2014 Olympics, South Sudan's sports world wasn't organized enough to even apply to join the IOC, but it finally got things together and was approved as an Olympic Nation in summer of 2015.

Although not an actual "nation", there will be one other new national-level team attending Rio 2016: the Refugee Olympic Team. This team was put together by the IOC in honor of the record-high number of people in the world who have been forced to leave their home countries to escape wars. Its 10 hand-selected athletes, all of whom are refugees themselves, will have their own place in the Parade of Nations at the opening ceremony.

...
Which countries aren't included in the Olympics?
Despite the inclusive and worldwide mission of the Olympic Games, not all applicant countries have been allowed in. In fact, one UN-recognized country still hasn't joined: UN observer Vatican City, the independent Catholic Church headquarters in Rome, has never applied.

Africa
- Somaliland (unrecognized country)

Americas
- Anguilla (UK territory)
- Montserrat (UK territory)
- Turks & Caicos (UK territory)

Asia
- Iraqi Kurdistan (autonomous region of Iraq)
- Macau (autonomous region of China)[3]

Europe
- Abkhazia (partially recognized country)
- Catalonia (region of Spain)
- Gibraltar (UK territory)
- Northern Cyprus (partially recognized country)

Oceania
- New Caledonia (territory of France)
- Niue (associated state of New Zealand)
- Norfolk Island (outlying island of Australia)
- Northern Mariana Islands (US territory)
- Tahiti (territory of France)
- Tokelau (territory of New Zealand)
- Wallis and Futuna (territory of France)
-- Seven dependent territories in Oceania are associate members of the Oceania National Olympic Committees. They're allowed to participate in some regionally-organized sporting events, but not in the Olympics.

posted by filthy light thief at 7:34 PM on August 5, 2016 [7 favorites]

Childrens' chorus in white singing in angelic tones, HUGE grins as they see they're on the jumbotron.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:35 PM on August 5, 2016

I much prefer the Olympic Hymn that Leonard Bernstein wrote in the 80s to this anthem, but the IOC doesn't seem to agree with me.
posted by zachlipton at 7:35 PM on August 5, 2016

Be good if they had a Russian athlete up to do the "we won't cheat" oath.
posted by chococat at 7:35 PM on August 5, 2016

North Korea does participate, and apparently North Korean Envoy to Olympics Was ‘Re-Educated’ on a Farm Last Year (Foreign Policy.com)
posted by filthy light thief at 7:36 PM on August 5, 2016

These kids dabbing behind the oath. I thought that trend was over?
posted by zachlipton at 7:37 PM on August 5, 2016

OMG THIS LITTLE BOY
posted by chococat at 7:37 PM on August 5, 2016

duffell: Sorry for the "Screw you," NBC

I'm not. I hate these commercials that pander to the Olympics audience, even featuring athletes with disabilities ... to sell yogurt, cars, and cereal. Thanks for reminding me that this show of athletic ability is also tainted by corporate hyper-branding, like the fact you can't buy coffee, because Coke products are the only form of beverages available.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:41 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

So, after the speeches, and the award for Kip Keino, and the oaths, there is a little boy ...tap dancing to spoken word (?)
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:42 PM on August 5, 2016

I thought I saw New Caledonia in the parade of athletes though.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:43 PM on August 5, 2016

To answer your earlier question, LobsterMitten, it's Malaysia that came out all in orange.
posted by phunniemee at 7:43 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

If I were in this parade, it would take all my willpower not to run past Luxembourg shouting "PASS THE DUCHY ON THE LEFT HAND SIIIIIDE"
posted by duffell at 7:43 PM on August 5, 2016 [6 favorites]

Oh no, it's a lead-in to samba
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:44 PM on August 5, 2016

Malaysia had brown songkhet wrapped around their waist and the rest looked more mustard on my monitor.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:45 PM on August 5, 2016

Don't knock that little dude he is the best thing about the whole deal. His little feet are going a mile a minute now.
posted by chococat at 7:46 PM on August 5, 2016

Flame!
posted by chococat at 7:46 PM on August 5, 2016

This has to be the most colorful opening.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:47 PM on August 5, 2016

Was Cote d'Ivoire in all orange as well?
posted by TwoStride at 7:47 PM on August 5, 2016

Yeah, that kid has commenced to thoroughly boogie, while meantime it's a great big parade of color out on the runway. Pretty great set piece.
posted by cortex at 7:47 PM on August 5, 2016

Here we go! (No spoliers)
posted by marienbad at 7:48 PM on August 5, 2016

Um
posted by chococat at 7:50 PM on August 5, 2016

Thank god the arrow poncho people are there so he doesn't go the wrong way and try to light something else on fire.
posted by zachlipton at 7:50 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Has anyone found videos recorded by athletes who walk in the parade of countries? There are so many who have their cameras out, can they post their videos after the parade is done? Does the ICC claim ownership and have them pulled from YouTube?
posted by filthy light thief at 7:50 PM on August 5, 2016

Whoa! what is that? How does it work? Is it literally pushed by the air currents from the heat?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:50 PM on August 5, 2016

Oh ok. Is it going to do that all month?
posted by chococat at 7:51 PM on August 5, 2016

Dude. Stop mentioning the US rugby win in 1924! NOBODY CARES, MATT.
posted by TwoStride at 7:51 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

That is really beautiful. I think it's the best part of the whole opening ceremonies.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:51 PM on August 5, 2016

Though a crown or halo of fire on Christ Redeemer would have been pretty cool, too.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:52 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Well that's a nice kinetic sculpture.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:52 PM on August 5, 2016

Wow that is stunning.
posted by marienbad at 7:52 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

And Jesus holds his arm out to take a selfie with the fireworks.
posted by chococat at 7:53 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

the kinetic sculpture is great, wow
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:54 PM on August 5, 2016

Dang, that is pretty great.
posted by cortex at 7:54 PM on August 5, 2016

That cauldron is trippy as FUCK.
posted by chococat at 7:55 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Flaming Pokéball with stargate surround.

Actually, it's lovely. Truly lovely. And the person given the job of lighting it truly deserved it.
posted by holgate at 7:55 PM on August 5, 2016

That last burst of flame where it looked like the whole stadium blew up kind of knotted my stomach even though I knew it was probably just an illusion caused by very bright lighting immediately after complete darkness.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:56 PM on August 5, 2016

Stop mentioning the US rugby win in 1924! NOBODY CARES, MATT.

USA! USA!
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:56 PM on August 5, 2016

The kinetic sculpture is designed by American sculptor Anthony Howe. (His website.)
posted by zachlipton at 7:56 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

The sculture looks much better from the front than the side, though, so they need to move that camera. Why would they put that camera where you can't see the flame itself anyway?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:57 PM on August 5, 2016

Will I guess I know to stay awake. Nbc is still parading.
posted by AlexiaSky at 7:57 PM on August 5, 2016

And it is over... and the BBC is back to the studio, and are going to do highlights!
posted by marienbad at 7:59 PM on August 5, 2016

BBC event schedule - all times BST. If you are not in the UK use a UK proxy server and you can watch on the beeb.
posted by marienbad at 8:01 PM on August 5, 2016

That was pretty good.
One thing Brazil has hands down over everyone is music. Samba, Tropicália, bossanova, etc etc...and the DRUMS, come ON.

Ok off to watch another Stranger Things.
Night everyone.
posted by chococat at 8:04 PM on August 5, 2016

Ok everyone. Back to 1; let's do it again for the West Coast feed.
posted by zachlipton at 8:13 PM on August 5, 2016

Question: I tried using a UK proxy server and the BBC asked me whether I had a TV license. How should I have proceeded? (Obviously I don't).
posted by DanSachs at 8:13 PM on August 5, 2016

Nbc is starting the charter cheater drug eater stuff for Russia.
posted by AlexiaSky at 8:14 PM on August 5, 2016

Was it me or was the post-athlete, pre-flame samba/carnival interlude waaaay too long? Also, yeah, the aerial shot of the closing fireworks made it look like the stadium was exploding.
posted by clorox at 8:15 PM on August 5, 2016

DanSachs: Say yes
posted by clorox at 8:15 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thanks clorox. I assume I won't be asked to prove it.
posted by DanSachs at 8:16 PM on August 5, 2016

ugh Hamilton reference :I
posted by Small Dollar at 8:17 PM on August 5, 2016

You mean you can just say you have one? Like to watch nbc sports I have to produce numbers from various third patries (cable companies for instance)
posted by AlexiaSky at 8:17 PM on August 5, 2016

Yeah, you just hit the yes button and that's it.
posted by clorox at 8:20 PM on August 5, 2016

Hamilton, checked.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:20 PM on August 5, 2016

Matt Lauer: Swaziland: The Commercial Break of Nations
posted by Small Dollar at 8:22 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ugh, after Meredith’s painful Hamilton reference, it is no longer cool & no one wants tickets anymore. #thanksalotmeredith -- @TheGoche
posted by zachlipton at 8:24 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

OK, but if a team of Beefeaters show up at my doorstep I'm sending them to you.
posted by DanSachs at 8:27 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh damn, I want the Serbians' skirts.
posted by phunniemee at 8:28 PM on August 5, 2016

As a Lucio main, this opening ceremony warms my heart.
posted by weewooweewoo at 8:53 PM on August 5, 2016

I am so sleepy when are they gonna light the torch
posted by phunniemee at 9:03 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

About an hour and 20 minutes ago.
posted by zachlipton at 9:11 PM on August 5, 2016 [3 favorites]

I love how those of us on NBC delay are just exhausted and sullen now.
posted by TwoStride at 9:14 PM on August 5, 2016 [5 favorites]

go home zach nobody likes you
at least now we're getting the little dancing kid in space pants you guys were all raving about a million years ago
posted by phunniemee at 9:16 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

Does anyone know how the flag bearers are chosen? I am a little disappointed that Michael Phelps is ours.
posted by cairnoflore at 9:22 PM on August 5, 2016

I believe the US athletes voted for Phelps to be the flag bearer. One of the commentators mentioned that in another country (I can't remember which), the voting was open to all citizens via text message(?).
posted by lilac girl at 9:24 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

It's based on who Matt Lauer is most obsessed with.
posted by phunniemee at 9:24 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

IT'S HAPPENING GUYS WE HAVE A BUCKET OF FIRE
posted by phunniemee at 9:25 PM on August 5, 2016

Oh yeah dude this sculpture is way cool. 10/10 for groovy flame sculpture!
posted by phunniemee at 9:26 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Phelps was elected by his teammates (he is the most decorated Olympian ever), though some commentators called for him to step aside in favor of the second place vote winner, fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad, as a sort of anti-bigotry statement. Phellps also planned to duck out early after his flag carrying duties.
posted by zachlipton at 9:27 PM on August 5, 2016

A++ worth slogging though Matt, Hoda, and Meredith to see the kinetic sculpture.
posted by TwoStride at 9:28 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

IIRC there were several countries that chose their flag bearers by popular vote.
posted by clorox at 9:31 PM on August 5, 2016

Well, good for him. I think my NBC hate is spilling over to Phelps. I'm glad his peers elected him.
posted by cairnoflore at 9:31 PM on August 5, 2016

That... backdrop... chandelier... thing.

Where can I get one?
posted by seyirci at 9:31 PM on August 5, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah if NBC didn't keep pulling the "lol no time for Suriname let's cut away to Phelps looking bored and staring at his phone" stunt every commercial break I'd feel a lot better about the guy.
posted by phunniemee at 9:34 PM on August 5, 2016

It seems that picture really was for John Kerry's instagram feed.
posted by zachlipton at 9:35 PM on August 5, 2016

I just returned from a trip to Disneyland and thought that kinetic sculpture looked familiar. And sure enough, it's by the same guy (or at least inspired by him?). The Disney one was mindblowing and left everyone's jaws open, kid and adult; really cool to see another one make an appearance again so soon.
posted by lilac girl at 9:37 PM on August 5, 2016 [2 favorites]

I liked it. Kinda felt bad for Taiwan, though.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 10:33 PM on August 5, 2016

It's 10:41 PST time and still going.

I love the islander outfits. Anywhere colorful really. The teams with blazers look so dull. I kept thinking America was France. Incidentally, STEP AWAY FROM SHOWING THE USA CAM. Seriously, stop, I want to see all the other countries's outfits!
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:42 PM on August 5, 2016

I love the bikes. I love the teams dressed in traditional clothing. I guess the U.S. Doesn't really have anything that is traditional since we are basically toddlers compared to many of these countries.
posted by cairnoflore at 11:38 PM on August 5, 2016

Nah, it's whoever the designers are. Levi Strauss did well in 1984 (and 1980).
posted by rhizome at 12:08 AM on August 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

Wasn't that 32 years ago?
posted by cairnoflore at 12:40 AM on August 6, 2016

Ugh, NBC, why do you have to be so awful? There was no need to cut to Gisele dancing in the stands over and over again when there were literally some 70K other happy, dancing spectators to pan the cameras to instead. And I wanted to throw my shoe at the screen every time they cut to the US team in the middle of the parade of nations. You're going to spend the next 2+ weeks talking of little else besides the US athletes, could you maybe give the other teams your attention for one night?

NBC grumbling aside, I'm enjoying the happy party atmosphere! A giant chicken, so much dancing, people on wheelie-rolly things (who disappeared too quickly!), arrow people and their adorable dance moves along the parade route! And besides checking out all the colorful outfits (and blazers! so many blazers!) and picking out favorites, I really just love seeing how giddy and joyful the athletes are as they walk through the stadium.

(Had to hit pause at Norway so I could go to bed. That jacket pattern was something else.)
posted by vespertine at 12:47 AM on August 6, 2016

I knew Phelps wouldn't be classy and let Ibtihaj Muhammad carry the flag. I was glad to see her up front, though. She looked like she was having fun.

I could have done without Meredith V. making shite jokes based on a person's last name.

I also could have done without hearing about the Egyptian origins of Hoda's family or the European origins of Lauer's wife. I've listened to these three people jabber on for way too many Olympics to care about anything other than the bullet points they're serving up from the almanacs on their laps.

I could really feel how stretched Rio was for the opening ceremony budget, but it had a cozy and unrehearsed feel that was refreshing. I don't think any opening ceremony could compare to the thrill I felt watching that arrow light the flame in Barcelona. That was legit stunning. I still get the chills just thinking about it. But I think the kinetic sculpture behind the flame in Rio is beautiful--one of the best torch displays in recent memory, imho. The fireworks were also on point. I got a bit choked up when the refugee delegation came in. And, for once, I actually enjoyed the opening remarks.
posted by xyzzy at 1:06 AM on August 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

Best Bar cut the sound just a couple minutes into the parade of nations (they have a regular DJ on Fridays) but this still was fun, because I was sitting next to a group of friends who were also watching and making their own boisterous comments (one woman cheered whenever a Caribbean nation came on) and got caught up in the pageantry. One guy was having trouble wrapping his head around the "Altered alphabetical order because of Portuguese" thing, and started looking up all the different countries' names in Portuguese on his phone, and then went into "hey, where's that country?" Another woman grumbled whenever they cut to Team USA reaction shots - "come one, what are we gonna be seeing for the next two weeks? Team USA. Give it a break!"

I even got caught up in its when they were wondering who "independent athletes" are - "they're athletes whose country doesn't exist any more."

"Huh! Really? So that's why they're using the Olympic flag. ...huh, if one of them won, what song would they play, the Olympic anthem?"

"That's...a good question."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:17 AM on August 6, 2016

if one of them won, what song would they play, the Olympic anthem?

That's what Matt 'n Meredith said while they came in
posted by Lucinda at 6:04 AM on August 6, 2016

I watched this last night live from Buenos Aires. There were zero commercials and nothing was cut. The announcers talked the. whole. time. and after Argentina came in they went to a split screen of the Argentine athletes and the rest of the parade of nations, but overall it was great.

Interesting to see that the climate change bit was not cut at all in the U.S.; I'm curious as to how that played on NBC.
posted by chainsofreedom at 6:39 AM on August 6, 2016

That's what Matt 'n Meredith said while they came in

We were watching with the TV on mute. So we missed the music they played during the parade, but we also missed the inane commentary so I'm okay with that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:17 AM on August 6, 2016

Wasn't that 32 years ago?

Yeah, but 1984 is when Peter Ueberroth taught the world that the Olympics could be profitable, and I figure after that the uniforms started to be geared more toward supporting a national image and the Olympics as a generic brand rather than highlighting the designer themselves. Slate had a bit of a critique on this.
posted by rhizome at 11:07 AM on August 6, 2016

I VPNed the BBC stream from my holiday in Greece on my phone and I have to say that the best commentators are the ones you never see. I loved the sustainability message and the teeny cauldron!
posted by mdonley at 12:06 PM on August 6, 2016

So, NBC cut a bunch of stuff. They cut the Olympic flag presentation. They cut some speeches people were describing above. No Olympic hymn. No dignitary officially opening the games. I'm annoyed because I think the traditions need to be there. And though I liked a couple of their opening video packages, we really did not need a 10 minute interview about the return of frigging golf to the games. (Golf is awful. There, I said it.)

Some really nice stuff, though. I thought the rainforest staging bit was great, and the representations of immigrant groups that left a design on the floor. I'm a person who thinks the "supermodel" culture is way, way overblown, but Giselle Bundchen walking the stadium to "Girl From Ipanema" was completely phenomenal.

I'm all for Phelps carrying the flag. The guy has more than earned it, and he's never participated in the opening ceremony before, always hyper-focused on competing.
posted by dnash at 1:10 PM on August 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh, man. Totally forgot about Vanderlei de Lima's story from the Athens 2004 marathon:

At the 2004 Athens Olympics, de Lima unpredictably led late in the marathon, after making his break at about the 13-mile mark.

His personal-best time for 26.2 miles, set six years earlier, was nearly four minutes slower than that of the pre-race favorite and world-record holder, Kenyan Paul Tergat.

De Lima, one of seven boys in a farming family, would not pull off the mighty upset, though.

A defrocked Irish priest infamously grabbed de Lima with about four miles left, taking him into a crowd along the route for a few seconds before a 53-year-old Athens salesman hopped over a barrier to help pull the intruder off de Lima.

De Lima only lost seven seconds in the incident. But his lead had already been nearly cut in half in the previous two miles, from 45 seconds to 25, and he still had those four miles to go. This was the knell to his gold-medal hopes.

Italian Stefano Baldini passed de Lima seven minutes after the defrocked priest grabbed him, with two miles left. American Meb Keflezighi followed suit shortly after.

But de Lima held on for the bronze medal, memorably blowing kisses in the final stretch and breaking into an airplane motion with his arms while deliberately swerving back and forth.

And apparently, de Lima found out he'd be lighting the cauldron an hour beforehand.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:22 PM on August 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

So, NBC cut a bunch of stuff. They cut the Olympic flag presentation. They cut some speeches people were describing above. No Olympic hymn. No dignitary officially opening the games.

Huh? I saw all of that after the parade of nations and I was definitely watching NBC.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:10 PM on August 6, 2016

Huh? I saw all of that after the parade of nations and I was definitely watching NBC.

Weird. I Tivo'd it last night, watched this morning. It went right from parade of nations to the samba song, to the torch, and that was it.
posted by dnash at 5:29 PM on August 6, 2016

OOOOH, I see what happened. Sorry. I was using the "commerical skip" function on my Tivo. It must've malfunctioned and skipped over an entire segment. I just went back to the recording and skimmed over it, and sure enough there that stuff was. D'oh.
posted by dnash at 5:35 PM on August 6, 2016

oh man you made a Tivo mistake in this thread, that must be embarassing
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:05 PM on August 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

...I just found a really wackadoo reaction to the opening ceremony. Does this happen every ceremony?....
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:22 PM on August 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

I tuned in live to the CBC coverage and found the snide comments and commercials pretty annoying: 'unhappiest country in the world', 'his brother was a terrorist', cutting to Canadian team b-roll and reading a statement from Trudeau when Hong Kong came in, not explaining why the Iranian flagbearer's in a wheelchair, and on and on.

I ended up downloading a copy of the BBC coverage, which was more agreeable - and no commercials! The distant stadium mic effect was present on both CBC and BBC's video, which kind of ruins the immersion.
posted by spreadsheetzu at 6:37 PM on August 7, 2016

...I just found a really wackadoo reaction to the opening ceremony. Does this happen every ceremony?....

Oh, wow. Way better than Matt Lauer.
posted by duffell at 6:53 PM on August 7, 2016