All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite: AEW Dynamite: September 8, 2021
September 9, 2021 4:02 PM - Season 2, Episode 49 - Subscribe

(The episode numbering comes from IMDB, please don't judge!) Welcome to me trying to earn some of that sweet Tony Khan bribery money by adding AEW Dynamite to FanFare! This episode comes live from Cincinnati, and deals mostly with the results of All Out and the debuts of Ruby Soho, Adam Cole (bay bay) and Bryan Danielson.

The show opens with Malachai Black facing "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes as part of Black's quest to heel kick every member of the Nightmare Family. Unlike Black's matches with Lee Johnson and Brock Anderson, Dustin puts up more resistance, dominating about half the match including a perfect Canadian Destroyer. Unfortunately Black gains the upper hand by taunting Dustin into making a mistake, using one of the white boots Cody left in the ring following his loss. Black goads Dustin into rushing into a turnbuckle that had been exposed earlier, finishing him off with a heel kick. (Are we still calling that kick the Black Mass, or does that name stay in WWE?) An announcement was made later that the Cody Rhodes/Malachai Black rematch will happen on September 22nd.

CM Punk comes out to more huge cheers in Cincinnati following his win over Darby Allin at All Out. He puts over Allin, then asks the crowd for some suggestions of who he should fight next. Taz, who is filling in for Excalibur on commentary, somehow takes offense to Punk calling out Team Taz, even though he never did! This was either some kind of miscue on Punk's part, maybe he was supposed to namedrop Powerhouse Hobbs but didn't? Anyway, Taz interrupts the promo and demands more respect for his boys, which include Hook and Hobbs who have come out on stage. Punk looks actually pissed off for the first time in AEW, and says that if it comes to be, he'll fight his way through Hook, Hobbs, Ricky Starks and even Taz himself, ending the segment by stealing Taz's old line "Beat me if you can, survive... if I let you!"

Tony Schiavone interviews Ruby Soho about her eventual match with Britt Baker for the AEW Women's Championship. Britt interrupts with Rebel (not Reba) and Jamie Hayter in tow, and taunts Ruby with the fact that her old job had no use for her and that she should "go back to catering where you spent the last four years." Ruby will face Jamie Hayter tonight. OPINION: With so much women's talent on the roster, AEW really needs to have more than one angle going on at a time in that division. Putting over the title is good, but not every segment with women has to revolve around it, you know?

Powerhouse Hobbs vs. Dante Martin of Top Flight is over quickly. At one point, Hobbs swings Dante into a ring post. During the commercial break picture-in-picture, Hobbs also delivers a great brainbuster. Interestingly both fighters got dueling chants.

Dan Lambert representing "America's Top Team" cut a promo from the venue's balcony, with Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page by his side. The material is the same -- most of these AEW wrestlers are skinny weaklings, the audience is pampered baby snowflakes, etc. As a presentation of everything I dislike in macho conservatism, it's perfect, and I hate it and want him gone. So good heel work, I guess, but: (1) Page and Sky have done nothing since Page's loss to Darby Allin... six weeks ago? More? Stop making me hate them! and (2) Why on Earth would you not let Ethan Page cut his own promo? He's a great talker!

A match is announced -- Orange Cassidy vs. Matt Hardy in a Hair-vs.-Hair match. If a date was specified, I didn't catch it.

MJF comes out to waaay more heat than Dan Lambert got, with the audience mocking him for tapping out to the Walls of Jericho at All Out. He gets even more heat when he starts insulting Cincinnati and everything about it. Then he starts in on Brian Pillman's family who are ringside. Pillman's wife and sister are front row gloriously shoving their middle fingers in MJF's face. This of course brings out Brian Pillman Jr. Wardlow moves to intercept but MJF says "don't help me like you did against Jericho". MJF and Pillman Jr. come to blows, which draws out Pillman's Varsity Blonds partner Griff Garrison. Wardlow joins the fight, and the Blonds are mostly driven off with Garrison taking the brunt of the damage.

Ruby Soho beats Jamie Hayter, even after taking a surprising array of attacks to the throat via chops and also the ring ropes. After she wins, Britt Baker jumps her, and Riho and Kris Statlander run out to make the save. Interesting array of faces coming out there.

"Absolute" Ricky Starks v. Brian Cage will take place next week.

The Pannacle's Shawn Spears & FTR come out to face The Dark Order's Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, and John Silver. In a backstage segment, the Dark Order continues to argue with each other about who gets to make decisions, with Reynolds and Silver especially chafing under Uno's assumed leadership. Tay Conti and the newly-returned Anna Jay had to break it up. The match is great, and it looks like the friendship could manage a win until a miscommunication sends Silver bumping Uno off the apron, and the Pinnacle capitalizes for a win. The Dark Order resumes fighting in the ring, and this time Tay and Anna can't make them stop. Ow, my heart hurts! OPINION: AEW needs to make a trios tournament! Maybe even a mixed-gender one!

Backstage, Tully Blanchard announces a future match between Shawn Spears and Darby Allin, and also implies that he wants to fight Sting? Book it Tony!

In the trainer's area, the Varsity Blonds are getting their wounds seen to when the Acclaimed return to make an insincere apology for those mean things Max Caster said about Julia Hart two months ago.

Tony Schiavone is in the ring to talk to the Elite, who come out as a group, except they then invite Adam Cole (bay bay) to come out to his own music. Interestingly, one of the first things Cole does is get in Tony's face about how he and Britt Baker are "such good friends" and threatens Tony not to come near Britt again. I don't know if "jealous possessive asshole Adam Cole" was the heel turn I wanted, but let's see where it goes.

Cole's promo is interrupted (again!!) by Bryan Danielson's music. Kenny Omega tries to sucker punch him, but Bryan dodges and gets Kenny into the Yes Lock (or whatever it's going to be renamed). The rest of the Elite jump him, but a parade of faces -- Lucha Express, Christian Cage, Frankie Kazarian -- run out to even the numbers and make the save.

And now your main event: hometown boy Jon Moxley vs. crazy Japanese grandpa Minoru Suzuki. Disappointingly, they had to cut Suzuki's awesome into short, I suppose since it began so late in the broadcast. The two exchanged strong-style stiff elbows, slaps, headbutts and even headBITES. At some point Suzuki started bleeding above his eye, giving him an great Prince-Zuko-esque look. The match ended earlier than expected -- maybe Minoru was hurt worse then it looked -- as Moxley won with a double-underhook suplex (which is NOT the Paradigm Shift, no matter what Taz says) and then spent several minutes of TV time absorbing the hometown love. Disappointing main event, considering the talents of both men. Also Lance Archer was nowhere to be seen despite him being a known disciple of Suzuki-gun when he fought in Japan.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta (4 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Side note: Taz and Jim Ross make a surprisingly good commentary desk. Maybe when Excalibur comes back they can do tradesies?
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 5:15 PM on September 9, 2021

I'm delighted to see Dynamite show up here on Fanfare. I am...way, way behind in keeping up with the show, but I'm going to do my best to catch up.
posted by Ipsifendus at 4:29 AM on September 10, 2021

Gah, I made so many mistakes typing this up.

For one thing, it’s “Jurassic Express”, not “Lucha Express”, and Pinnacle not “Pannacle”.

I swear I re-read this thing twice before hitting “post”.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 4:44 AM on September 10, 2021

So... I guess I'll put Rampage details here too?

Rampage started off with Andrade "El Idolo" vs "The Bastard" PAC. After some hard striking, both men transitioned to lucha libre style dives and headscissor takedowns. Andrade delivered a rope assisted outside DDT onto the ring apron, and later did a split leg moonsault off the corner ropes that the announce table explicitly compared to Rob Van Dam. The momentum shifted after PAC capitalized on Andrade falling to the outside with a superkick, then a moonsault off the post. "This is awesome" chants were heard.

The finish came when PAC reversed a crucifix pin into his finishing the move, the Brutalizer. It's actually one of AEW's most protected moves, no one I can recall has escaped it without outside help. In this case Chavo Guerrero, who accompanied Andrade to the ring, caused a distraction that allowed him to clobber PAC with an iPad he brought to ringside, and then slide out before the ref could turn around. Penta and Rey Fenix came out to try and make the save, but it was too late. Andrade walked halfway up the ramp victorious before clobbering Chavo, apparently shouting that he wanted to win clean and was disgusted by Guerrero's cheating. Penta and Fenix superkicked Chavo in the head to end the segment.

After commercial, Darby Allin and Sting came out to respond to Tully Blanchard. Darby took offense to anyone saying Sting was riding his coattails, and Sting thought it amusing that someone who made their name in wrestling following "Slick Rick" could make that claim. Tully came out and accused Sting of liking to take advantage of the numbers game against a frail old man -- the lone wolf Sting! the guy who spent his time in WCW getting ganged up on by NWO time and again! -- but this was a distraction for Shawn Spears to sneak in behind them and throw Darby around before Spears and Tully made their exit.

Short promo package from Bryan Danielson, saying he'd like to fight anyone, but especially calling out Kenny Omega saying "You are not on my level!" with a close-up of his dreamy eyes.

Women's trios match: Britt Baker, Rebel (not Reba) and Jamie Hayter vs. Ruby Soho, Kris Statlander and Riho. If this hadn't been in Cincinatti, this would have been the main event, I bet. All the faces played to their skillset: Kris' height and strength let her wear Riho like a backpack and allowed Riho to mount a flurry of bicycle kicks to Jamie Hayter, and later deliver a 619 when Hayter fell on the ropes. When Kris tagged in, the pulled off a double suplex, a sitout powerbomb, and also let Riho stand on her shoulders to deliver a big footstomp to Rebel, who was covering up Britt Baker to protect her. Ruby tagged in and later gave Rebel a pele kick to the head for the win.

Matches announced for next week: Adam Cole (bay bay) vs. Frankie Kazarian, Jade Cargill vs Layla Hirsch (!!!), and Darby Allin vs. Shawn Spears

Main event: Platinum Max Caster makes his in-ring return, accompanied by his tag partner in the Acclaimed, Anthony Bowens to face Cinci native Brian Pillman, Jr. Caster's opening rap dunks on Cincinatti in general, and specifically their NFL team, and Pete Rose, and even Skyline Chili! Pillman comes out rarin' to defend his city's honor, and the story of the match was that without his partner, Pillman was in serious danger from the Acclaimed's repeated cheating, as Bowens kept interfering while the ref was distracted. Finally an opening came when Caster missed the Mic Drop (an elbow drop from the post) and gave Pillman the opening to finish with one of his dad's old moves, a springboard clothesline off the ropes. After Pillman won, the Acclaimed jumped him together, but Jon Moxley came out to make the save, and the show ended with Cincinatti's hometown boys celebrating together.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 8:27 PM on September 10, 2021

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