Aquaslash (2019)
September 4, 2022 4:13 PM - Subscribe

Look people, I could recap this plot, but it's really just a bunch of setup to get you to a scene where there's a water slide that chops people up. Ignore the plot and just start with twenty minutes left.

Rotten Tomatoes link, if for some reason "water slide slasher movie" is something you really want to take the pulse of critics on.

Currently streaming in the US on Showtime. Also available for digital rental on multiple outlets, if you want to throw money away.

Or just watch this YouTube clip and be done.
posted by DirtyOldTown (9 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Wet Valley, huh?
posted by Literaryhero at 6:45 PM on September 4, 2022 [1 favorite]

Ha, thanks for the link to that clip, it's amazing. I'm not one to get squicked out by horror movies but for some reason the premise of this one really got to me when I was thinking it was more like "one person accidentally dropped one small sharp thing in the slide." The actual movie looks much less terrifying.
posted by whir at 6:59 PM on September 4, 2022

This uncovered childhood memories of rumours that people had stuck razer blades through the sides of the water slides at my local pool. I guess those rumours must have showed up at every water slide in the world, right?
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 7:40 PM on September 4, 2022 [2 favorites]

In the clip, I liked the one guy trying to go up the chopslide. Because, hey, free corpse chunks!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:13 PM on September 4, 2022 [1 favorite]

So... not Aquaman/Namor? Not that I was, uh, never mind.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:03 PM on September 4, 2022 [2 favorites]

Maybe a double-feature with Chopping Mall? (OK, to be fair, Chopping Mall does a neat bit with the closing credits. You'd have to see the film to appreciate it.)
posted by SPrintF at 8:41 AM on September 5, 2022

Pre-COVID: "If someone is using water slides to kill people, why would anyone get on one until they're caught?"

Post-COVID: "Yeah that checks out."
posted by jordemort at 6:36 AM on September 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

So maybe I missed something in the clip, but at the start of it there are three groups going down (I presume on three different slides), the first with a girl in blue in front, the second with a girl in green, the third with a girl in pink...the girl in green group hits the blades and turns to chunks. The girl in blue group makes it to the bottom where they high five and celebrate because apparently going down a water slide is a major victory...but do we ever see the group with the girl in pink again?
posted by nubs at 7:35 AM on September 6, 2022

I went to the clip out of curiosity and sincerely thought it was a really stupid 80s movie, down to the sexual harassment and bad physical effects, until the cell phone came down the slide and I had a moment of realization that was more full of horror than anything in the clip.
posted by Scattercat at 3:22 AM on September 9, 2022 [1 favorite]

« Older Special Event: AEW All Out 202...   |  Movie: The Searchers... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments