Neon Maniacs (1986)
February 8, 2023 4:03 PM - Subscribe

A group of teenagers in San Francisco is attacked by a nest of homicidal monsters, but when they try to tell authorities, no one believes them.

A gang of monsters, who live under the Golden Gate Bridge, emerge and attack a group of partying teenagers. Afterwards, all the teenagers vanish and only one of them survives. She tries to tell the authorities what she saw, but no one believes her except a young girl and her love interest. As the body count rises, the teens try and survive while continuing to try and convince others of the threat.
posted by miss-lapin (13 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
This is an absolutely delightful "only in the 80s" type horror film. There is no reason ever given why these monsters suddenly surface, why they live under the Golden Gate Bridge, what they are doing with the teenagers who vanish, and generally what the hell is up with them. There's a whole range of them from demented surgeon to cyclops lizard thingy and there doesn't seem to be a unifying factor aside most of them being humanoid in appearance (except lizard cyclops).

The mains are equally hilarious with their master plan to thwart the monster menace by arming everyone at the battle of the bands with a water gun (water being their kryptonite).

I will say there is ZERO nudity and about as sexy as it gets is a little kissing. There's some gore in the form of a melting monster or two, but really most of it is a flash of fake blood (paint) on a sword here and there. So this is pretty tame, but a lot of fun

This movie definitely put a big ol smile on my face.

I found it on tubi, but it's also on plex, pluto, and amazon prime. Just watch.
posted by miss-lapin at 4:16 PM on February 8, 2023 [2 favorites]


That trailer definitely put a big ol smile on my face, esp the très artsy cut from the axe to the new wave guitarist. This looks like a hoot, miss-lapin, thanks.
posted by mediareport at 12:47 AM on February 9, 2023 [1 favorite]


Hmm, if water was my kryptonite, I think I would find some place to live that was not under the Golden Gate Bridge. But that's just me. Aliens, monsters and various supernatural creatures clearly think differently about this (see also: Signs).
posted by Naberius at 7:15 AM on February 9, 2023 [3 favorites]


We're to simply accept the "kid" detective who appeared to be in her 30s.
posted by Claude Hoeper at 8:31 AM on February 9, 2023


I suspect they thought, if you're willing to believe a gang of monsters would show up and random attack teens in san diego, your suspension of disbelief was already engaged by the time you got to her.
posted by miss-lapin at 9:02 AM on February 9, 2023 [1 favorite]


Yeah Signs was a hoot. Super intelligent beings who thought "Hmmmm planet that is 80% deadly to us. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"
posted by miss-lapin at 9:07 AM on February 9, 2023


Hmm, if water was my kryptonite, I think I would find some place to live that was not under the Golden Gate Bridge.

...come to think of it, why did the Wicked Witch of the West just have an open bucket of water sitting around her castle within easy reach of her enemies?
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:08 AM on February 9, 2023 [3 favorites]


She plays on hard mode.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:21 PM on February 9, 2023 [2 favorites]


Also, I have to say I was a little surprised to see William Hurt slumming it as the police captain guy there. I assume this was during some drunken binge and he didn't remember doing it afterwards.
posted by Naberius at 5:42 PM on February 9, 2023


I have to say I was a little surprised to see William Hurt slumming it as the police captain guy there.

Huh? Hurt's not listed in the cast.

The film's trivia page on IMDB is interesting. It sounds like they totally ran out of money so major parts of the script had to be cut, and the film is basically unfinished. That might explain a lot of plot holes. Apparently in the script it was established that the Neon Maniacs are aliens from another dimension, and they came to our dimension through a portal beneath the Golden Gate Bridge. Maybe they live down there so they can be near the portal, to cross back and forth?
posted by Ursula Hitler at 11:10 PM on February 9, 2023 [1 favorite]


Thanks to this kind of movie, I really thought more of my life's dramatic episodes would come to a climactic conclusion at a battle of the bands. Life has been a disappointment in that regard.

I appreciate a band of villains who make trading cards of themselves for some reason? Custom trading cards is a real "badguy gang" power move. Shows they're fully invested in this whole "we're all mutants or something but we've each got our thing" thing.
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 11:27 PM on February 9, 2023


Huh? Hurt's not listed in the cast.

Yeah, that's just me goofing around. The cop refusing to believe their story in the trailer looks sort of like what you'd get if you ordered William Hurt from wish.com
posted by Naberius at 5:22 AM on February 10, 2023


The film is basically unfinished. I'd have to dig it up but I remember reading somewhere that there was a plan for a sequel.

Fun fact: in one of the dissolving monster scenes, they used cotton candy which of course melts in water.
posted by miss-lapin at 12:11 PM on February 10, 2023


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