All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite: November 22, 2023

November 23, 2023 8:34 AM - Season 5, Episode 8

The Continental Classic kicks off in Chicago with three preliminary matches, Christian Cage goes ultra-heel with his bad dad tactics, Timeless Toni Storm accepts her award in style, plus DANHAUSEN!

(Stuff in quotes comes from The Wrestling Observer, italics is me.)

Swerve Strickland defeated Jay Lethal in the Continental Classic Gold League

"The first points in the inaugural Continental Classic go to Strickland, as these two put on a solid back and forth to kick things off in the Gold League. I’m all for zero interference in this tournament, but this means Strickland will be without Prince Nana and his dancing, which is simply unfortunate."

"MJF & Adam Cole come to the ring with Cole on his crutches and MJF with a cane. MJF said his voice is hoarse because he was pounding beers last night and wants to go deep with the ladies in Chicago and he’s not talking about pizza. MJF put over Jay White as being one of the toughest challengers for his AEW Title and ran down his own resume as AEW Champion before calling himself humble....

Samoa Joe’s music hit and he came to the ring... Joe doesn’t want a hurt MJF; he wants the fully healthy and said by Worlds End, MJF should be ready. MJF accepts and shakes Joe’s hand as Joe said he’s good at picking fights too, but all this worrying Max is doing about The Devil should be gone, because MJF is Joe’s property."

I'm enjoying here that I really don't know where this storyline will end up after World's End in December. MJF is already a top tweener and the longest-reigning AEW champ already, so he loses no luster if he drops the title next month. Joe is a truly intimidating human who may or may not renew his contract, so if there was ever a time to make him champ it would be soon. But also, Swerve is coming hot from his death match win -- but probably won't win the CC tournament -- so he could make a legit run for the top belt. Either way it could restart MJF's entire "bidding war of 2024" angle which has quieted down in the past few months.

Orange Cassidy, HOOK & Katsuyori Shibata (w/Danhausen) defeated Angelo Parker, Matt Menard & Jake Hager

"The biggest story is the return of Danhausen and also Hager’s beloved purple hat. Heading into the day I was not expecting to see Shibata & Hager beating the hell out of each other tonight, but I’m sure glad it happened, as it was the highlight of this match."

"Christian Cage comes to the ring with Luchasaurus & Nick Wayne and said things didn’t go their way at Full Gear, but in all honesty, he didn’t lose that match, nor did Wayne. Cage turned to Luchasaurus and said he lost the match, which is unacceptable. Luchasaurus reluctantly took a knee after Cage called him a moron and said the name Luchasaurus will be associated with a loser, so he’ll be now known as Killswitch. Wayne immediately took a knee, but Cage told him never to do such a thing and called him special, his golden boy, so he’ll always be known as “The Prodigy” Nick Wayne."

This is so 100% actual abusive father tactics that this segment might have triggered traumatic response in viewers with unfortunate family histories. Christian has now rocketed ahead of Swerve to become the most reviled heel in wrestling.

"Just then we see Nick’s mother, Shayna come to the ring and plead with her son, as Cage called her a terrible mother. Loving her child unconditionally isn’t enough for Wayne, making $40,000 a year waitressing isn’t enough for a Prodigy. It’s a good thing her husband is dead, as Nick would’ve disowned him not being as good of a wrestler as Cage is, nor was he the man or husband that Cage is. Cage told her to 'go punch her card at Denny’s.' Killswitch stepped between Cage & Shayna, refusing to move, as Cage slapped him saying they can do things the easy way or the hard way. Cage shoved Killswitch into Shayna, who collapsed as Cage demanded Nick get a chair. Cage was about to give a Con-Chair-To to Shayna when he gave the chair to Killswitch, who pondered doing it until Adam Copeland sprinted to the ring and laid out Nick with a Spear. Killswitch pulled Cage to safety, so Copeland Speared Nick again before delivering an Impaler. Shayna recovered long enough to watch Copeland give a Con-Chair-To to her son with Cage & Killswitch watching at the ramp."

INSANE segment. I excerpted pretty much the entire description because there's no more concise way to do justice to this. The stage is set for Luchasaurus/Killswitch to gradually show higher thought and turn away from Christian, possibly to dovetail with his fascination with Shayna ala a Beauty-and-the-Beast scenario (because Nick Wayne's mom has got it going on and I can't lie). BUT ALSO, Shayna just saw Adam Copeland deliver a concussion to her son while she was weeping in the corner of the ring, which opens the door for her to actually join Christian's side in a heartbreaking "I want to keep my son safe" sort of way. Disturbing but also the utmost melodrama pro-wrestling nonsense that I love.

Switchblade Jay White defeated Rush in the Continental Classic Gold League

"If you like chops, have I got the match for you, as this match was dominated with loud chop exchanges throughout. Whenever he’d compete in the G1, White would always find a way to cheat to win and I think this Continental Classic will be no different as it worked for him tonight. I of course see this blowing up in his face when it’s all said and done."

Weird that the first two prelim matches in this tournament are heel-vs.-heel, while the last is face-vs.-face. Was there not a better way to arrange this?

"Timeless" Toni Storm accepted her AEW Women's Championship as if it were an Oscar ceremony.

You all should really watch this delightful nonsense, which includes her thanking Jack Warner, who's been dead for 40 years.

Skye Blue defeated Ruby Soho (w/Saraya) and Anna Jay (w/Matt Menard & Angelo Parker)

"Taz said whenever there’s love, there’s issues and that’s what happened with Soho & Parker and their continuing flirtatious storyline. Menard & Saraya tried to reel them in, but to no avail, as Blue was able to pick up the pieces and get the win in her hometown."

Jon Moxley defeated Mark Briscoe in the Continental Classic Gold League

"Even with the slight overrun, I still wish this match would’ve gone longer, as these two beat the crap out of one another. The crowd was loudly behind Briscoe, but was more than fine with Moxley coming out the winner in this very fun main event."

Continental Classic Gold League Standings

· 3 Points: Swerve Strickland, Switchblade Jay White, Jon Moxley

· 0 Points: Jay Lethal, Rush, Mark Briscoe

posted by The Pluto Gangsta (3 comments total)

Also, in a reverse from last week, where Collision was pushed forward a day because AEW was running FULL GEAR on Saturday, Tony Khan announced that Rampage will be pushed back to join with Collision on Saturday.

So Tony Khan is actually going to counter-program against WWE's Survivor Series... if CM Punk shows up on either show this weekend it will be the coup of the year.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 8:45 AM on November 23, 2023

if CM Punk shows up on either show this weekend it will be the coup of the year.

Ha ha ha... welp.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 8:11 AM on November 26, 2023

I got to be in the stands for this one (you could have seen me, my ex, and my 13yo in the audience during Moxley's walk around as he was coming in - we might have been the only people wearing KN95s in the crowd).

I haven't actually been to a wrestling match since some time in the 80s (DC-area folks - remember when The Greaseman challenged Big John Studd?). It was great - total fun to watch, and my kid got to see his two favorite wrestlers, Orange Cassidy and Danhausen.

Highlight of the evening: the woman behind me saying "I wish I had Skye Blue's hair... and her ass".
posted by hanov3r at 10:07 AM on November 29, 2023 [1 favorite]