Under Paris (2024)
June 7, 2024 6:52 PM - Subscribe

Sharks! Everyone knows they're scary, but did you know they could be terrifying mutants who live underneath the streets of Paris?? They can, and the reason why is clear: it's plastic. Plastic bottles. Just go with it! Do you know this can't happen?? This film is here to tell you it can! And you'd better believe it, ma chere!!
posted by kittens for breakfast (18 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
It's on Netflix.

I thought this would be much goofier than it is! Despite some ropey CGI and a ridiculous premise, the film takes itself seriously enough that you do in fact just go with it. A wildly overqualified lead is, perhaps, appropriately qualified after all to sell us on this silly story.

Depending on your Gore Threshold, you may find yourself lulled by the warm familiarity of the whole affair; if you can handle the occasional severed limb, you may even see this as a slice of Cozy Horror.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:50 PM on June 7 [3 favorites]


Omigod omigod! Omigod. Someone finally used the Sharksfromfrance tag! BINGO!!
posted by Naberius at 5:49 AM on June 8 [5 favorites]


Okay, I need to see this but also be disappointed it wasn't titled Shark de Triomphe.
posted by Kitteh at 8:23 AM on June 8 [23 favorites]


Just watched this with friends and enjoyed it thoroughly despite how stupid the ending was.
posted by kensington314 at 12:49 AM on June 9


Given the subject matter, I was surprised at the film's serious tone. I had gone in expecting the film to end with:

FIN

Mais non! Perhaps they'll use that in the sequel, Under Paris II: Chomps-Élysées.
posted by SPrintF at 8:21 PM on June 9 [7 favorites]


Uh, to all the HATERS saying the premise of this movie is ridiculous, it is TOTES LEGIT and is based in part on the true story of when "a porbeagle shark was certainly found in the Seine River near Rouen in 2022"! So THERE!

well maybe not the terrifying mutant part
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:11 PM on June 9 [4 favorites]


I enjoyed this! It was dumb and glorious!

Chekhov's river shells.

Am I imagining some rave references?
* the magic widget looked like turntables
* they waved the flares like lightsticks

"I'll initiate the blast!" (is promptly swarmed)
"there was an explosion?! quick, let's do donuts in our boat"
posted by Pronoiac at 8:28 PM on June 10 [2 favorites]


I'm dating myself badly when I tell you that I saw the trailer for this on Netflix, then turned to Mrs. Example and said "The only thing slowing them down is that they can't find 'candygram' in their French phrasebooks."
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:35 AM on June 11 [1 favorite]


it's already in metric so it's just le candygram
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:09 AM on June 11 [4 favorites]


Everything about this thing was so great!

Evil CGI garbage patch turns sharks into eusocial hive animals!

Main shark is all kind of random sizes from scene to scene and there's no attn. paid to continuity or making the scale make any kind of sense because who cares! Nobody! Nobody cares!

There are two motorboats in the whole river, one army, the other cops, so obvy they blow each other up! Yes!

There's a demonic mayor!

There's an Olympic triathlon and the swimming competition is held in the Seine! Sure! Sure! Why the hell not!?!

"Chekhov's river shells."
Har!
posted by Don Pepino at 12:34 PM on June 11 [3 favorites]


I really wanted this to be cheekier than it was.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:48 AM on June 12


Provides more laughs than your average comedy. In a good way.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:56 AM on June 13


It's anyone else bothered by the practicalities of the total water volume in Paris pre and post the last ten minutes of the film? Maybe all those shells mutated the water so it's now three times bigger than normal too?
posted by nangua at 10:07 AM on June 13 [1 favorite]


IIRC, there was a mention of some freshwater reservoirs recently installed to allow ordinary folks to swim in the Seine. Perhaps the shells breached the reservoirs?
posted by SPrintF at 11:46 AM on June 13


BIG ASPLOSIONS --> FLOODING.

I swear it's like you haven't been to science class

Because it was the kind of movie that it was, I would sort of like to see the alternate take in which Madame Mayor is just so incandescently angry that these stupid sharks have ruined her swim meet that she jumps in and rips them apart with her hands.

I look forward to the Under London implied by the end credits but I really want something new and different, like:

*Lilith is a kilometer long
*Lilith learns hacking and does most of her evil not with bites but through financial crime
*The last humans send someone back in time to kill Lilith's parents before she was born but the sharks send back a Kyle Reese shark and there is le combat
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:47 PM on June 15 [3 favorites]


But wait! What about a reboot of The Wolf of Wall Street, but with an actual wolf?!
posted by SPrintF at 5:57 PM on June 15 [2 favorites]


Spotted on Bluesky, from badly-drawn bee:
> Netflix was roundly mocked for releasing their ridiculous shark film as 'Under Paris' instead of the obvious Shark de Triomphe. So they've just released these alternate posters, which I love.

Netflix had posted them to X. I like the wordplay for the posters:
* Shark De Triomphe
* In Seine
* Chomps Élysées
* Bon-Jaws
posted by Pronoiac at 10:24 PM on June 15 [1 favorite]


But wait! What about a reboot of The Wolf of Wall Street, but with an actual wolf?!

This is the out of the box thinking we need in addition to splunge!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:48 AM on June 16


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