Underworld (2003)

September 2, 2024 3:07 AM

IMDB: Selene, a vampire warrior, is entrenched in a conflict between vampires and werewolves, while falling in love with Michael, a human who is sought by werewolves for unknown reasons.

The shiniest pleather! The dampest hair! The dumpiest of exposition dumps! What's not to love about the OG Underworld?

From a rocky start -- a title screen featuring the very best computer graphics 1996 had to offer (there was an audible gasp when it came on-screen), it settles quickly into a very serviceable "somebody read a lot of White Wolf RPG sourcebooks back in the day" story where vampire Selene (Kate Beckinsale) and human Michael (Scott Speedman) butt heads with the a snooty vampire dingus (Shane Brolly) and the Lycan werewolf underclass (led by Michael Sheen). They uncover not one, but two layers of vampire conspiracy leading to Selene questioning the entire vampire hierarchy, all the way up to Bill Nighy, who doesn't have a ton of screen time and spends half of it looking, as our friend put it, like a talking turd.

Fundamentally a comic-book movie not based on a comic book, it feels like writer Danny McBride (not that Danny McBride, who also has a lot of horror overlap via the recent Halloween revamp) bashed out the plot for a big White Wolf fanfic, then made a second pass to scriptify it.

For a two-hour movie it clips along pretty well, settling into a rhythm of exposition dump, 20-30 minutes of vampires and werewolves hissing and shooting at each other, lots of damp hair, something cool happens, then another character drops 300 years of vampire/Lycan history on us, then back to the cool stuff, repeat.

If you want a little extra spice on your Underworld, brush up on the Beckinsale / Sheen / Wiseman love triangle that rolled out during shooting.

It's a good time, and kicking off a full September rewatch of all five (!!) Underworld movies in our house. Evolution, prequel Rise of the Lycans, Awakening, and Blood Wars all follow, each slightly shorter than the last, but all, we are certain, to deliver only rising and rising returns.

posted by Shepherd (19 comments total)

I for one want a Underworld/Wonder Boys crossover.
posted by sammyo at 4:52 AM on September 2

I just wanna say I love this movie. sexy goth vampires and werewolves fighting an eternal war across the nightscapes of an Ur-European city. the aesthetics are top-notch. it's just so pretty and I want everyone's wardrobes. might be time for a re-watch.
posted by supermedusa at 9:27 AM on September 2 [7 favorites]

I haven't seen it since it came out, but I also remember loving this movie. But then I feel like they made like nine more. I remember watching the second one, but my only fleeting impression is that it was very bad. Oh well.
posted by kbanas at 9:45 AM on September 2

I remember falling asleep during the exposition dump, then waking in a panic to realize I'd missed like ten minutes of the movie.

"It's fine, they're still doing exposition" my friend said.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:29 AM on September 2 [6 favorites]

I think I'm the weirdo that loves the expo dumps. I love to get back story, the history. I don't get bored.
posted by supermedusa at 10:49 AM on September 2 [1 favorite]

Along with White Wolf, the Matrix was also a clear influence on the style of these. I find these movies incredibly fun.
posted by Pryde at 3:47 PM on September 2 [1 favorite]

At least this first one was entertaining, though you'd be hard-pressed to call it good--they knew their audience and their tropes. Bizarre to think that Kate Beckinsale went from Shakespeare and Henry James adaptations to this in fairly short order.
posted by praemunire at 5:26 PM on September 2 [1 favorite]

I for one want a Underworld/Wonder Boys crossover.

Get in line, please, behind Underworld / Cold Comfort Farm.

The Starkadders would be the werewolves, of course, and the toffs from Hautcouture Hall the vampires. Using the power of skin-tight leather and the New Common Sense, Robert Post's Child must preserve the delicate balance between them. But meanwhile, what is the true nature of the something nasty that Ada Doom discovered in the woodshed?
posted by Nerd of the North at 10:22 PM on September 2 [3 favorites]

Is this the DAMPEST horror movie franchise that is not deliberately water-based? Everyone is so damp and wet and I just want to hand them all warm fluffy towels and a cozy bathrobe!
posted by Kitteh at 6:34 AM on September 3 [5 favorites]

This film and this franchise are remarkably dumb but holy liftin do I enjoy it every time I stumble upon it. That's not a recommendation but if a damp Matrix Vampire series sounds appealing well... enjoy.
posted by Ashwagandha at 9:11 AM on September 3 [3 favorites]

praemunire I introduce to you Julian Sands who went from Room with a View to Warlock.
posted by supermedusa at 10:23 AM on September 3 [1 favorite]

Bizarre to think that Kate Beckinsale went from Shakespeare and Henry James adaptations to this in fairly short order.

Sheen says something similar in a recent interview with The Guardian (yes, I know this paper has issues). It explores his personal life and charity work as well as his career so for those who only want the bits relevant to this: he was doing lead roles in classic and contemporary British theater to great acclaim, then moved to LA to be with Beckinsale and their child and found he essentially was starting over, fighting for 5 lines as bit characters in franchise films. Then he was cast as Tony Blair in a Stephen Frears production and was back on track.
posted by beaning at 10:36 AM on September 3

Is this the DAMPEST horror movie franchise that is not deliberately water-based?

Moist. I think the word you want is “moist.”

I do like this movie. I can’t abide by the rest of the franchise, but this one is pretty perfect in its own unhinged way.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:10 PM on September 3 [3 favorites]

It turns out that White Wolf, Inc. also noticed the setting's similarity to their brand of extruded goth product and filed a lawsuit alleging seventeen counts of copywrite infringement. Whether there was a legitimate basis for it or Sony was just willing to spend an undisclosed amount of money to make the matter go away it resulted in a confidential settlement.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 4:50 PM on September 3

Julian Sands who went from Room with a View to Warlock.

Yeah, but via Boxing Helena, which explains it almost to superfluity.
posted by praemunire at 5:55 PM on September 3 [4 favorites]

There was a time period when having a strong English Accent or even a strong as-perceived-by-American's English Accent as a working actor in Hollywood, meant that you were more often cast/seen viable for Villain parts and there are more interesting ones of those in Genre fiction that in Straight Drama

Unless you wanted to stay firmly in the mid-level Theatre / Costumed Drama Lane - which is fine, but actors who like working tend to want to be able to work as much as possible.

And that's if you were White, and Conventionally Attractive or Quirkily Attractive (in whatever way was fashionable at the time)
posted by Faintdreams at 3:53 AM on September 4 [1 favorite]

The thing I remember most about watching this movie for the first time was the werewolf Raze putting on a very growly wolf-like voice. Then I watched with the commentary track, and it turns out he's one of the writers (Kevin Grevioux) and he just naturally sounds like that.
posted by WhackyparseThis at 6:08 AM on September 4 [2 favorites]

WhackyparseThis, we were trying to determine if that was the guy's real voice or if they had modified it in post somehow!
posted by Kitteh at 6:19 AM on September 4

Bill Nighy in this reminds me somehow of that woman who was absolutely tripping balls and amusing herself with the spinny-thingy filter on a laptop or phone especially when she does big chompies
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:20 PM on September 8 [1 favorite]