Grace and Frankie: The Bachelor Party
June 7, 2015 1:56 PM - Season 1, Episode 12 - Subscribe

The guys want a classy bachelor party. The kids assist. Frankie is bummed out and Grace wants to cheer her up, leading to a "Yes Night."

Frankie is recording herself again on her phone. It's day seven of moving on from Sol, and she's not responding to his calls. "Today he sent me a photo of a corgi wedding. But I did not write back." She wanted to text him back that corgis are the preferred transport of woodland fairies. she practiced laughter yoga instead and gained another pound, "but I think it's a pound of knowledge." She's got her wedding ring on again. She gets it off and puts it in a tin. She answers the phone for Bud, though. "Pull out your Beatle wig," the Fab Four are in town. Bud can't go, he has to throw the dads' bachelor party. Frankie will let him know when "Candice Joplin" is in town, and gets off the phone.

Mallory and Brianna are being served pumpkin pancakes by the boys. What do you want? Help us throw the party? We're having a little trouble realizing their vision--they want classy and elegant and the guys really only do tacky. Mallory can figure this out, but says we can't throw a party in less than a week! Brianna does want to make a joke about balls in the food, though. Shouldn't it be more like a bachelorette thing? No, they want a classy party. Of course, they should have mentioned that before Coyote sent out a e-vite with assless chaps. They also paid the neighbor to put on this spread, watch out for cat hair.

What's Frankie going to do tonight? Crochet herself a noose, but she can't decide on purple or pink. "Oh, I'm happy those fuckers are going to have a good time," she says. Grace says she can tell Guy to take a cab home and Frankie needs cheering up. What does she want to do? Tweet a sad haiku? Liberate lobsters? Can't,"the fish guy knows me" and he's got her picture by the shrimp. Want to go to the art museum and touch the paintings? I did that last week. Grace promises to drink beer and wear a funny hat. Hey, what about a Say Yes night? Frankie and Sol bought a Del Taco franchise once...we'll stay away from that guy.

Cut to food prep are the party. Coyote, don't eat he meatballs. Sol runs to answer the door and sees...Nelson?! Robert invited him, Sol is unthrilled. Nelson wants Scotch, but there are only "Solhitos" and "Robertritas" on hand. (The guys like that they have their own drinks.) Sol doesn't like Nelson, who "still thinks I'm the hippie Jew with the adopted son and drug-addled wife." Apparently he thinks Bud is the one with the drug problem and Bud would like this corrected. Sol suddenly wants a penis balloon. "You're just saying that because you can't have one," Robert says.

"We're no classier than we were five days ago." the boys say as Mallory walks out.

Grace sees Frankie's outfit and starts pinning back her baggy dress with chip clips. "You have a waist! And hips!" And breasts! Frankie's ready to go and Grace is all, you can't go in chip clips, that's just a demonstration. Grace says she's going to dress Frankie tonight and Frankie wants to dress Grace too...

So Frankie is in a pink blazer and white buttondown shirt and pants and painful shoes, with her hair in a lovely curly updo. Grace has punked out hair with blue streaks, a shit ton of makeup, a T-shirt and ripped jeans. Guess who has on a bra and who doesn't. Frankie takes Grace to the club where she had her first knife fight. They enter and Grace thinks it's nice and Frankie says "oh no."

Jeff (and the other gay guys) is disappointed in the party after that chaps e-vite. You'd think there'd be one game of "pin the junk on the hunk." Maybe there will be a stripper? Bud attempts to talk to four deadpan guys about the Fab Four and tote bags. It doesn't go well. It's such a dull party. Sol and Robert talk to Nelson. Oh, we'd love to go to Utah, with the shooting and hunting. "Oh, no, I love shooting deers in the face," Sol snaps.

"This is the worst party I've ever been to. And I was at Jonestown," one guest says. Coyote shares that info with a drunk Bud. Coyote calls Brianna for help.

Frankie thinks everyone at the bar is fake. it used to be filled with real dirtbags, now they're fakes. She hates the gentrification and the handbag hooks. Two old guys send them 8 whiskey shots. They drink with the guys and force each other to eat rabbit stew, calamari, duck sliders.... Grace brags that Frankie is single and she isn't. Grace mentions that Guy said he loved her and Frankie is all, why didn't you tell me?

Coyote is eating the meatballs and saying "And Coyote is living a nightmare." Hey crazy! Brianna walks in. With no stuff. The penis store was closed but it's all taken care of, look outside. It's a giant ride 'em penis, it's just like a mechanical bull! The dads are mortified and thinking of the neighbors. A drunk Bud thinks he's going to cover it up with balloons. He ends up spinning around on the thing.

Frankie doesn't like her feelings being managed. I'm not your project. I have a right to be down. Grace says, and I have a right to cheer you up. Frankie grumbles that you think you know a bar and it's there for you and now it's under new management. Maybe things aren't changing as much as you think, you could still dance on the bar. "I know I'm supposed to say yes, but watch my head." Grace will do it! they get on the bar. "Reverse psychology usually doesn't work on me, but I'm feeling vulnerable." They get yelled at to get off the bar. Everyone in the bar loves this except the bar guy, and they get kicked out."We got roughed up, like a couple of hellions!"

Bud rides the penis. Everyone loves it. Nelson leaves, or tries to and sees the penis. We'll take you out the back. Nelson always wondered about Robert, with those pocket squares and the hot wife he never paid attention to. "I don't have a problem with you being a homosexual, but when did you become such a faggot?" Robert almost hit him for that, and Sol makes him leave out the front door. That turned Sol on. They have a huge yet brief clinch. They still won't go outside though.

Grace and Frankie are in an alley and can't find the car. The homeless guy saw the car get towed. There is so much weed in that car. We'll call a cab. That's a top 5 night for Frankie. Would you tickle my arm? When does say yes end? When we get home. Then yes. Grace said nothing to Guy about that I love you. That's big. What are you going to do? I don't know. "When is that cab going to get here?"
"After we call it."
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