WWE Raw: Season Premiere / Night of Champions Go-Home
September 15, 2015 6:24 AM - Season 24, Episode 1 - Subscribe

This year's "season premiere" features the Authority trying to get a New Day bump, Kevin Owens giving Ryback shit over reading The Secret, a Dusty Finish for a fairly good Divas title match, and the first ever Sting match on Raw. Against the Big Show. Who he wrestled roughly a million times on Nitro. No wonder it turned into a tag match with John Cena and Seth Rollins.

But it was all just window dressing for the annual Night of Champions, where every belt gets defended:

World Championship: Seth Rollins vs. Sting -- The Architect faces The Franchise in a match that no one was really clamoring for but has been built up pretty well... as long as we ignore the nonsensical Authority semi-face turn that led to it. Sting comes into the match hot, having just made Rollins tap out to the Scorpion Deathlock. Rumor has it that this might not be the main event in favor of:

United States Championship: Seth Rollins vs. John Cena -- The Architect faces The Face That Runs The Place in... wait, seriously? Seth Rollins, the heel, is pulling double duty? Okay, I genuinely do not get what they're going for here. Face turn for Rollins with basically no other main-event heels on the roster right now? I mean, honestly, unless anyone out there genuinely thinks that Mohawk Sheamus is a compelling World Title Bad Guy or that Bray Wyatt will actually get the push the smarks want, what's the endgame here?

Anyway.

Tag Team Championship: The New Day vs. The Dudley Boys -- Team 3D has breathed life into the tag division, but can the Boys still go? Look for a fun match with lots of crowd work and plenty of nefarious trombonely interference.

Divas (sigh) Championship: Nikki Bella vs. Charlotte -- DQ loses the title, which we can only hope means that the Revolution will take center stage after WWE wiped AJ Lee's record out of the books. However, rumors are flying that Cena has been throwing his weight around backstage for several months now to keep the belt on Nikki, so who knows? If they let Charlotte take her time and tell a story, and let Nikki play the power wrestler role that she's weirdly grown into, this could be a pretty good match. Or it'll go four minutes and a schmozz.

Intercontinental Championship: Ryback vs. Kevin Owens -- Owens basically is already the old-school Intercontinental Champion already: one of the best workers on the card that someone at Titan Tower has determined doesn't have It, so he's stuck where he is until someone above him gets hurt (*cough*Sheamus*cough*). Ryback, however, has been surprisingly resurgent in his role as Sensitive Big Guy. Can Owens carry him to a good match?

That's it for titles at Night of Champions, but we still have:

The Wyatt Family 2.0 vs. The Shield 2.0 Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose and Tony B. Announced -- Braun Strowman makes his PPV debut with the Wyatts as Reigns and Ambrose tease monster comebacks of Savio Vega and the Great Khali as their mystery partner. WWE probably head-faked us by briefly posting a pic of NXT's Baron Corbin as the third man; Randy Orton is noticeably absent from the card so far; and some are even calling for Erick Rowan to make his return from injury against his former partners. But my money's on Donald Trump, because why shouldn't he ruin everything?

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev -- Ugh, don't care. Oh, fine: Summer Rae will be involved in the finish to this treadmill match wasting two of the (formerly) best characters in the company.

Neville and the Lucha Dragons vs. Cosmic Wasteland -- It's on the pre-show, but maybe if we chant "LU! CHA! LU! CHA!" loud enough, this will spur WWE to pull the trigger on the long-rumored Six Man Championship. Okay, it won't. But this 5/6ths NXT alumni match will probably be pretty damn good.
posted by Etrigan (25 comments total)
 
I know his Twitter handle is still @HEELZiggler, but he really shouldn't be acting like one in an angle where we're supposed to cheer him.

It's been a couple of years since (I think) Brandon Stroud said it, but the defining kayfabe aspect of the Reality Era is that the face/heel roles have been reversed, in that the faces are all basically dicks and the heels are all basically right.
posted by Etrigan at 5:59 AM on September 16, 2015


Ugh, forgot to add: But it's our own fault that things are like that.

Exhibit A: The New Day. When they debuted, they were purely positive happy-go-lucky babyfaces. And they got booed out of the arena. We made them into babyheels. That's not even a thing. So they turned heel -- straight-up cheaters. And we started cheering. They're cheaterfaces, which isn't a thing either, except that it totally is.

Exhibits B and C: John Cena and the Undertaker, who are respectively a misogynistic backstage-power-playing narcissist and a lazy low-blowing narcissist. They constantly interfere in main events despite not earning it, and we cheer them for it.
posted by Etrigan at 6:26 AM on September 16, 2015


Two title matches on the Go Home before Night of Champions seems unnecessary. I guess someone realized the PTP really needed their rematch before The New Day/Dudley program started, but what would have been the harm of letting that linger, giving the PTP reason to gripe and stay in the title picture post Night of Champions? And I can think of a hundred ways the Divas division could be done better right now, but so can everyone except the WWE writers apparently, so whatever. I would kind of love for Charlotte to protest this nonsense by refusing to win the title at Night of Champions (assuming she's supposed to go over), and asking to go back to NXT to fight for the NXT Women's Championship.
posted by jermsplan at 8:03 AM on September 16, 2015


I agree with you on the broad strokes. However:

Owens over Ryback was a very good match, but a lousy opening match. Owens played it like a smark would -- can't beat Ryback on power or explosiveness, so pick apart a single piece. I'm excited to see an Owens Icon run (my dream is that he runs an Open Challenge in parallel with Cena, but constantly cheats and gets himself disqualified (after great matches)).

Ziggler over Rusev was shit, despite the guys really trying to make a match out of it. The end killed it dead -- high heel + Zig Zag does not a pinfall make for a good monster heel.

Dudley Boyz over New Day was good enough, but I've always hated when the faces give the fans what they want even though it doesn't mean anything to the match.

Charlotte over Nikki was proof positive that Charlotte is not her father as regards pulling a three-star match out of a broomstick. Charlotte/EvilPaige, though... that I'm interested in.

Wyatts over Shield 2.J was a perfectly good six-man schmozz, and frankly, I liked that Jericho was the third man. Sure, I'm a longtime Jericho mark, but also, Reigns, Ambrose, and Jericho are the last three guys that Bray feuded with (not counting the Undertaker). It makes actual sense plotwise that Jericho gets involved. I'm sure we'll hear more in the coming weeks about how now-Heel Jericho insisted on getting involved, but I think a Jericho/Ambrose feud will have some high points.

Cena over Rollins... I'm just tired of TFTRTP, sorry. I feel like I shouldn't be, given his willingness to update his moveset and (sorta) put other guys over, but he's been at or near the top of the company for longer than anyone in the WWF/WWE era. Longer than Hogan, longer than Austin, longer than the Rock. Cena absolutely belongs on the Mount Rushmore of wrestling with those guys, but I'm tired of seeing him in the ring.

Rollins over Sting was good enough for what it was (and yeah, there was definitely a legit injury there). But it was still a totally face move for him to emerge victorious, regardless of how he won, after back-to-back matches (and let's not forget that the heel took an out-of-the-ring finisher from the face before this match).

And then we have the teased cash-in (Has an explicitly teased "surprise" cash-in ever actually happened? I was away from wrestling for most of the MITB era.), and it was clear that Sheamus wasn't going to get it as the ref kinda hesitated and slooowly turned toward the bellkeeper with the briefcase, pausing carefully to ensure that he had a hold on the briefcase...

Seriously? Rollins-Kane? They might as well change his nickname to The Devil's Favorite Time-Filling Feud.
posted by Etrigan at 8:01 AM on September 21, 2015


Oh, I will say one negative thing about the Wyatt-Shield match -- I could not contain my laughter when Reigns' reaction to Strowman no-selling the Superman Punch was to re-cock his fist and do it again.
posted by Etrigan at 12:09 PM on September 21, 2015


Has an explicitly teased "surprise" cash-in ever actually happened?

Cena set a specific time and place for his cash-in well in advance once.


I mean one of the classic "surprise" cash-ins, like what Rollins did at WM or Edge did with the very first briefcase, where the briefcase holder just appears at the end of a hard-fought match and "steals" the belt. Like, how Sheamus made it obvious over the last few weeks and throughout the NoC card that he was going to cash in, so of course, it didn't happen -- but at WM, there was essentially no mention of the briefcase or Rollins' opportunity.

So has anyone done like Sheamus (and the announcers) did, where there were explicit in-world hints, and then BAM here's the briefcase, new champ?
posted by Etrigan at 6:03 AM on September 22, 2015


Paige's promo, courtesy of Cageside Seats:
Charlotte, she's so nice. This is all so nice. And you know what, you won the championship yesterday and this whole celebration is for Charlotte. But there's just the thing about who really made this possible. And that's me. No, shut up, Becky, shut up. This is patronizing. "Oh, I love you, daddy" and "oh my gosh, I wouldn't be here without you." You sound like you just been inducted into the bloody Hall of Fame is what you sound like. Yes, I won the championship too. You won it, so what? I won it on my first day. I won it twice and you know what? Here's a little secret, champ to champ: title reigns end. Nikki (Bella) is going to get her rematch and she's going to bring her little hippie sister and her little third wheel and they're going to take that back and the Divas division is going to go back right where it was. There is no revolution, Charlotte. You are just a placeholder. No, no, no, Becky back off. You're never going to be a Divas champion. You know why? You're the least relevant of all of us. Let's go to Team B.A.D. They're all flash, no substance. Then you got Lana and Summer too busy trying to figure out who they want to climb onto next rather than the Divas division. And then you've got Nattie. Nattie: where are you? Do you even work here anymore? I can't see you, Mrs. Hart. And then you've got the Bellas. We all know the real reason they got to where they are. You all know the real reason. No, I'm not done. Stop trying to act like you are somebody because you wouldn't be here (Charlotte) if it wasn't for your old man.
Fucking outstanding.
posted by Etrigan at 6:07 AM on September 22, 2015


Paige's promo was phenomenal, but I agree, it was really weird how long it took the audience to stop cheering for her during it. Is Nattie actually back, or are you just assuming she is based on her name getting dropped? Maybe they cut her from the hulu version...

I was really upset by the ending of the Big Show/Cesaro match. Cesaro pulls out an absolutely incredible suplex of Show over the ropes, and the next thing that happens is Cesaro makes a big show (heh) of how much it hurt his back, meanwhile Big Show stands up and punches him once and the match is over. That suplex over the ropes moment deserved better. There was like a multi-week buildup and a PPV payoff to see if Cena could FU the Big Show back in the day...maybe this wasn't quite on that level as a display of strength, but it is yet another example of how little the WWE realizes Cesaro is doing amazing shit every time he's on tv.
posted by jermsplan at 12:04 PM on September 22, 2015


It can't be in Eva Marie's Total Divas contract that she has to be allowed to wrestle on tv, right? Like, they could just stop letting her wrestle on tv for a few months while she does dark matches or trains, and still appears on Total Divas? Also, I don't watch Total Divas, but how is that show not 40 minutes of all the other divas trying really hard not to tell her how terrible she is, and like 20 minutes of Nattie holding her head in her hands and saying "I'm going to kill myself"?

"My jaw's so hard I could blow a bubble with a Now and Later." I love that tag team.
posted by jermsplan at 11:01 AM on September 24, 2015


Asuka's creepy smile as she left the arena was more unnerving than anything Bray Wyatt's done in months. Emma & Dana's reactions to it were perfect.

If you haven't seen Three Faces of Foley, you should check it out (no idea whether it's on the Network), because it's very applicable to this. When Foley revealed that he was going to face Triple H in a street fight match as Cactus Jack, Trips reacted exactly right, and that made the character and the feud into something magical, where it could have just been some fat guy taking his shirt off to reveal another shirt.

And for as little as I think of Dana (I like Emma, though), she sold that look just as perfectly.

I swear, fifteen years later, hearing "His name... is CACTUS JACK!" still gives me literal goose bumps.

Like, they could just stop letting her wrestle on tv for a few months while she does dark matches or trains, and still appears on Total Divas?

The scary part is that they did that. She was out for a couple of months at the end of last year recovering from a ruptured implant (I wish I were only being a misogynist there, but they admitted it on TD), and then spent several months training with The Brian Kendrick, and this is the result.
posted by Etrigan at 11:35 AM on September 24, 2015


Ha: the woman who played the HR rep on Raw last night is the actual WWE Director of HR.
posted by Etrigan at 12:20 PM on September 29, 2015


That's awesome Etrigan.

Was I the only one pretty disappointed by the return of the US Title Open Challenge? Considering the running trend had been that Cena made guys look great and managed to put on matches where you almost got excited the other guy was going to win (even though you knew they wouldn't, it seemed like a slam dunk that New Day (through being awesome anyway, plus the numbers game) would come within a hair's breadth of crowning Xavier the champ, only to lose, probably through self inflicted accident. Instead, Cena basically just beat them? And acted all "I'm super serious, quit clowning, wrestling is srs bzznss" despite the fact that the trombone is the third or fourth most over character on WWE TV right now?
posted by jermsplan at 7:27 AM on September 30, 2015


Watching the MSG show in fits and starts, but I just have to say that I love Kane's normal-guy Eddie Haskell voice so much.
posted by Etrigan at 8:19 AM on October 4, 2015


I watched NXT Respect in bits and pieces, and had so many thoughts I wanted to say, but now that I've watched the main event all I want to say is that Sasha Banks is the god damn heel of the decade, possibly longer, and that main event was ridiculous.

(ok, one more tiny thing, the crowd actually annoyed the shit out of me through a lot of the main event)
posted by jermsplan at 8:35 AM on October 9, 2015


Sasha Banks is the god damn heel of the decade

That shot of Izzy crying will be on the cover of Banks' autobiography some day.

And when Bayley started just kicking the shit out of Banks at the end of the match? Chills just thinking about it now.
posted by Etrigan at 8:49 AM on October 9, 2015


jermsplan, I was feeling you about the crowd. I appreciated this suggestion. There's a line between a crowd enhancing a show and making itself too much the center of the attention, and more often than not it feels like Full Sail crosses it.

I'm at work and can't give the subject of NXT Respect its proper due, but it was pretty amazing, front-to-back.
posted by misskaz at 8:50 AM on October 9, 2015


Between Sasha stomping on hands and arms while doing a near Lion Tamer, and Bayley kicking Sasha in the head at the end there, everyone in the WWE should be taking submission pointers from the two of them.

Misskaz, glad I wasn't the only one, I was afraid I was being a party pooper. 30 minutes is a long time for the crowd to say into something, but I wish they wouldn't have stayed into it by making themselves it.
posted by jermsplan at 9:08 AM on October 9, 2015


I was really disappointed in the show last night. Everything felt awkward and sloppy. New Day, comedy Kane, and the decent Cena-Ziggler match were the few highlights. (Also Owens being mean to Michael Cole with always make me laugh.)
posted by misskaz at 7:12 AM on October 13, 2015


They could pair him up with the similarly rictus-grinned false-innocent Bo Dallas and give us Team Hell Bo.

I think we all know that that would be the greatest thing ever, but they would be Team Heck Bo, which would be even greater.

(This idea got me thinking -- has there ever been a good comedy monster heel?)

In re Sasha: the scary thing is that she is twenty-three years old. She's two years younger than Brock Lesnar and Randy Orton when they each won their first world title.
posted by Etrigan at 8:21 AM on October 13, 2015


Ugh, that crowd was rough on RAW. At least when Cena gets "CENA SUCKS" he gets half the crowd yelling "LETS GO CENA". Roman, Nikki and Naomi, they just have to hear a crowd be completely disinterested in them. Is there a word for that? Feels like a corollary to X-Pac Heat. It's like...Smark Heat or something. I guess if you're working heel you want the crowd against you, but you can't really be looking for "boooooooring" or "you can't wrestle" chants. That's pretty rough.
posted by jermsplan at 2:16 PM on October 14, 2015


I'm willing to call it "Chicago Heat". Philly is the mirror universe, but Chicago fans will straight-up tell you "You suck in the ring and I am therefore not buying your merchandise nor the merchandise of the poor bastard who's trying to drag a two-star match out of your gassed botching corpse."
posted by Etrigan at 5:37 PM on October 14, 2015


Speaking of the most awesome NXT tag team, why the hell weren't Jordan and Gable in the #1 contender battle royal? Tomasso and Ciampa were in it and they're not even signed.
posted by Etrigan at 6:03 AM on October 15, 2015


After almost five years in development, Tyler Breeze has allegedly been called up to the main roster. I think he's the last FCW alumnus to make it there.
posted by Etrigan at 12:18 PM on October 16, 2015


Etrigan: !!!! I love Tyler! I hope he finds a way to make his character work on the main roster. So funny that all the things I'd been reading were doom and gloom about him being destined to stay an upper midcard NXTer forever.
posted by misskaz at 4:10 PM on October 16, 2015


I hope he finds a way to make his character work on the main roster.

I think the only thing keeping him from that is if the crowd gets too into him as a (so to speak) face. It's a classic well-executed-but-bog-standard Gorgeous George-Nature Boy-Adrian Adonis character, which pretty much always works.
posted by Etrigan at 5:27 PM on October 16, 2015


« Older Last Week Tonight with John Ol...   |  Podcast: The Allusionist: 18. ... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments

poster