WWE Raw: The Survivor Series Go-Home
November 17, 2015 6:39 AM - Season 24, Episode 10 - Subscribe
We have our predictable semi-final World Heavyweight Championship brackets. We have the Brothers of Destruction predictably making the Wyatts look like punks. We have Charlotte and Paige predictably turning a contract signing into a fight.
Survivor Series is all set up now:
Roman Reigns vs. U.S. Champion Alberto Del Rio: The Roman Empire takes on MexAmerica in the first half of the semi-finals. All indications were that Reigns was going to take the title from Seth Rollins this Sunday anyway, so there's little reason for them to flip the script on us and send Del Rio to the finals. But WWE has a history of going batshit crazy when the World Champion gets hurt, so who knows?
Dean Ambrose vs. Intercontinental Champion Kevin Owens: Ambrose is going to turn heel on Reigns, right? So this will be a pretty good match that won't end up meaning much, right? Well, at least Kevin Owens' Twitter game is still on point.
The Brothers of Destruction vs. The Wyatt Family (or at least, two members thereof): This feud is more or less the final test for whether Vince is ever going to let Bray Wyatt take a turn at the top of the card. If Wyatt can't make an impact against two guys with a combined age over 99, then he'll remain the Eater of the Midcard forever. With that in mind, look for this to end with some weird comic-book '80s-WWF-style weirdness and the feud to stretch to the Rumble.
Charlotte vs. Paige for the *sigh* Divas Championship: The first time two former NXT Women's Champions meet for the Butterfly Belt, this one has been a long time coming, but they shot it into the stratosphere by bringing Charlotte's late brother Reid into it. Some say it went too far, but the Flair family has been living a work for like the last 40 years, and it's impossible to believe that Charlotte and Ric didn't sign off on it.
And... that's it? Five matches, one of which will be a double-duty? No New Day? Neither of the secondary belts on the line?
Survivor Series is all set up now:
Roman Reigns vs. U.S. Champion Alberto Del Rio: The Roman Empire takes on MexAmerica in the first half of the semi-finals. All indications were that Reigns was going to take the title from Seth Rollins this Sunday anyway, so there's little reason for them to flip the script on us and send Del Rio to the finals. But WWE has a history of going batshit crazy when the World Champion gets hurt, so who knows?
Dean Ambrose vs. Intercontinental Champion Kevin Owens: Ambrose is going to turn heel on Reigns, right? So this will be a pretty good match that won't end up meaning much, right? Well, at least Kevin Owens' Twitter game is still on point.
The Brothers of Destruction vs. The Wyatt Family (or at least, two members thereof): This feud is more or less the final test for whether Vince is ever going to let Bray Wyatt take a turn at the top of the card. If Wyatt can't make an impact against two guys with a combined age over 99, then he'll remain the Eater of the Midcard forever. With that in mind, look for this to end with some weird comic-book '80s-WWF-style weirdness and the feud to stretch to the Rumble.
Charlotte vs. Paige for the *sigh* Divas Championship: The first time two former NXT Women's Champions meet for the Butterfly Belt, this one has been a long time coming, but they shot it into the stratosphere by bringing Charlotte's late brother Reid into it. Some say it went too far, but the Flair family has been living a work for like the last 40 years, and it's impossible to believe that Charlotte and Ric didn't sign off on it.
And... that's it? Five matches, one of which will be a double-duty? No New Day? Neither of the secondary belts on the line?
About halfway through the opening segment I realized that, on the one hand, I get the over-the-top corny setup as a tribute to the Undertaker's 25-versary, but at the same time, man is it corny. I feel like it's sort of falling flat in the middle of the rest of the show right now.
I turned to my spouse in the middle of it and said "The guy on the left owns an insurance company in Knoxville," and couldn't hear the rest of the segment over the laughter.
posted by Etrigan at 7:43 AM on November 17, 2015
I turned to my spouse in the middle of it and said "The guy on the left owns an insurance company in Knoxville," and couldn't hear the rest of the segment over the laughter.
posted by Etrigan at 7:43 AM on November 17, 2015
Ha, yeah, it's ... well, it's the Drunk Uncles of Destruction, I guess.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:48 AM on November 17, 2015
posted by uncleozzy at 7:48 AM on November 17, 2015
Yikes. So what's the "classy" point balance? +1 for the moment of silence, -eleventy for the Flair angle?
posted by uncleozzy at 12:07 PM on November 18, 2015
posted by uncleozzy at 12:07 PM on November 18, 2015
"A source with ties to the situation placed the odds at '70/30' in favor of Ambrose walking out as champion." I don't believe anyone who's in a position to seriously push this is seriously pushing this, but it does give me a glimmer of hope that they might at least be talking about it.
posted by Etrigan at 12:10 PM on November 18, 2015
posted by Etrigan at 12:10 PM on November 18, 2015
she should just come out, improv some of those "quiet down, you dorks" lines while getting booed out of the building, and then give up and walk away, followed by "a video message from Eva Marie" to get her actual promo out.
This is the best possible idea of all ideas.
My wife is a big Total Divas fan (and I don't disagree) and, even though she hates Eva Marie the TD character, she is always disappointed when she's so, so bad at the entire pro wrestling business. We watched a few NXT women's matches recently and she was just dumbfounded about how good women's wrestling can look (and how bad it can look when Eva Marie is involved).
I just don't get it, though. The WWE style isn't complicated. You don't need to do too many things well to put on at least a serviceable match. And Eva Marie just refuses. Run the ropes hard. Strike hard. Sell strikes. Keep your holds at least a little snug. If you can't do those things, you should at least give a great promo, or else why are you around? Is Eva Marie really a draw except to smarks who want to boo her? She doesn't look terrible in the training clips with Kendrick, so you know she can do some of these things, but it just doesn't translate to her actual matches. I don't get it.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:58 AM on November 19, 2015
This is the best possible idea of all ideas.
My wife is a big Total Divas fan (and I don't disagree) and, even though she hates Eva Marie the TD character, she is always disappointed when she's so, so bad at the entire pro wrestling business. We watched a few NXT women's matches recently and she was just dumbfounded about how good women's wrestling can look (and how bad it can look when Eva Marie is involved).
I just don't get it, though. The WWE style isn't complicated. You don't need to do too many things well to put on at least a serviceable match. And Eva Marie just refuses. Run the ropes hard. Strike hard. Sell strikes. Keep your holds at least a little snug. If you can't do those things, you should at least give a great promo, or else why are you around? Is Eva Marie really a draw except to smarks who want to boo her? She doesn't look terrible in the training clips with Kendrick, so you know she can do some of these things, but it just doesn't translate to her actual matches. I don't get it.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:58 AM on November 19, 2015
The only way you can draw heel heat at Full Sail is to suck. If you're good in the ring, your entrance can feature you pulling a puppy's head off and dousing Izzy with the blood, and you'll still get cheered. But getting booed requires being bad in the ring, and ultrasuperbabyface Bayley has to be opposed by someone getting booed, so it's Eva Marie being bad at wrestling.
posted by Etrigan at 6:09 AM on November 19, 2015
posted by Etrigan at 6:09 AM on November 19, 2015
That center section of Full Sail that kept distracting from the match by jumping up and dancing around while singing "Heyyyy we want some Bayley" needs to be set on fire.
Agreed, and it's a pity, because I loved that chant before the match.
posted by Etrigan at 10:37 AM on November 19, 2015
Agreed, and it's a pity, because I loved that chant before the match.
posted by Etrigan at 10:37 AM on November 19, 2015
Dear WWE Network:
A huge selling point of your product is that I don't have to watch PPVs live. So when the splash screen on your app is "SHEAMUS CRASHES REIGNS' BIG MOMENT", that kinda sucks ass for those of us who just want to timeshift watching by a few hours.
Yrs,
Etrigan
posted by Etrigan at 6:32 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
A huge selling point of your product is that I don't have to watch PPVs live. So when the splash screen on your app is "SHEAMUS CRASHES REIGNS' BIG MOMENT", that kinda sucks ass for those of us who just want to timeshift watching by a few hours.
Yrs,
Etrigan
posted by Etrigan at 6:32 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Also -- JBL points out that the Undertaker won his first WWF World Title from "the Immortal One", neatly excising who they're actually talking about there.
posted by Etrigan at 6:48 AM on November 23, 2015
posted by Etrigan at 6:48 AM on November 23, 2015
Xavier Woods has "near-future hair vs. hair match" written all over him. The only questions at this point is how soon, and with whom.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 6:00 PM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Parasite Unseen at 6:00 PM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Woods vs. Ryback -- Woods' hair vs. Ryback's airbrush
Woods vs. Uso -- Woods' hair vs. Usos' "When we say OOH, y'all say SO!"
Woods vs. Ambrose -- Woods' hair vs. Ambrose's T-shirt
Woods vs. Ziggler -- Woods' hair vs. Ziggler's chance at ever getting back in the main event (oh, wait, he already lost that)
posted by Etrigan at 5:44 AM on November 24, 2015
Woods vs. Uso -- Woods' hair vs. Usos' "When we say OOH, y'all say SO!"
Woods vs. Ambrose -- Woods' hair vs. Ambrose's T-shirt
Woods vs. Ziggler -- Woods' hair vs. Ziggler's chance at ever getting back in the main event (oh, wait, he already lost that)
posted by Etrigan at 5:44 AM on November 24, 2015
Another week, another Kevin Owens murder on Twitter.
posted by Etrigan at 5:47 AM on November 24, 2015
posted by Etrigan at 5:47 AM on November 24, 2015
(will attempt to watch RAW and report back on Torito segment's existence some day. Exciting non-wrestling news, my wife just had our first child, so my ability to do anything including stay awake watch wrestling has been a bit diminished. We didn't know gender ahead of time, and I pushed for a boy named Finn Balor O'Connor, but my wife -- who watches no wrestling and didn't know that was a wrestler -- rejected it saying it was a bit much. In the end we had a daughter so oh well)
posted by jermsplan at 5:48 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jermsplan at 5:48 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best wishes to you and your wife and little Becky Paige Charlotte O'Connor.
posted by Etrigan at 7:59 PM on November 28, 2015
posted by Etrigan at 7:59 PM on November 28, 2015
NXT this week was an acceptable PPV-setup show. The Balor-Joe contract signing/beatdown was as good a contract signing/beatdown as we've had anywhere in recent memory, the overbooked Women's Championship match was a nice throwback (and still managed to make Eva Marie look bad), and the return of the Realest Guys In The Room was handled well. The low point was the Emma beatdown of Asuka, which ended up looking like Asuka just forgot that she was supposed to get beat down, necessitating a bad Dana Brooke semi-run-in re-distraction.
The thought process for Raw:
"Hey, do you want the New Day to open the show?"
"Why, yes, yes I would."
"And do you want them in the main event?"
"That would also be quite acceptable."
"And do you want Sasha Banks wrestling?"
"It's like you're reading my diary."
"And do you want a massive no-way-out stipulation that either gives Reigns the title or totally upends all of the current fairly boring plotlines?"
"What a great idea!"
"And do you want it all to suck anyway?'
"Of course-- wait a minute. What?"
"Very well, then. It will suck. Done and done."
posted by Etrigan at 9:59 AM on December 1, 2015
The thought process for Raw:
"Hey, do you want the New Day to open the show?"
"Why, yes, yes I would."
"And do you want them in the main event?"
"That would also be quite acceptable."
"And do you want Sasha Banks wrestling?"
"It's like you're reading my diary."
"And do you want a massive no-way-out stipulation that either gives Reigns the title or totally upends all of the current fairly boring plotlines?"
"What a great idea!"
"And do you want it all to suck anyway?'
"Of course-- wait a minute. What?"
"Very well, then. It will suck. Done and done."
posted by Etrigan at 9:59 AM on December 1, 2015
That reminds me -- the ring announcer can stop calling her "It's Bayley" now. Doing it just for her intro? Fine. But it just gets obvious and dumb when he does it every single time.
posted by Etrigan at 5:41 PM on December 1, 2015
posted by Etrigan at 5:41 PM on December 1, 2015
(going back 2 weeks, no Torito)
Sweet mercy, could the WWE misuse The New Day any worse on RAW this week? They were celebrating their 1 year anniversary, during which time they went from "intentionally terrible gimmick" to "my god, those guys are really playing the hell out of the gimmick they've been handed" to "most over thing in the WWE right now." So what do we do with them? Put them in such a boring, long opening segment with Sheamus that the crowd is generally bored and silent. Put them into a match that already had 8 people in it, and which they have no reason to be in? It's like the WWE producers are sitting in the back with a big red "NEW DAY" panic button and whenever they realize some segment is going to be garbage they hammer that button to try and save it.
I actually like the League of Nations. I like all the members individually (yes, even Sheamus, I think he can be good at what he's good at, if the WWE would just let him do that rather than ask too much of him). I like all of them together. My concern is that I don't know where they fit in. We don't need a big heel stable, that's the Authority. The LoN is too good to be some lackeys of The Authority. Clearly we're in a situation where it's somehow 7 heels vs 4 faces with Authority in the corner of the heels...seems a bit crowded and confusing, no? I wish the LoN would somehow turn on the Authority and become a collective of chaotic evil wrestlers, or shit, even lawful evil, leaving it to the Authority to create chaos.
general question about the crowd: Is Pittsburgh normally a dead silent crowd? Or was WWE muting them much of the night? RAW was so bad that throughout I was basically surprised that there weren't constantly obnoxious bored crowd chants. Just silence. Post-production HULU effect?
posted by jermsplan at 1:08 PM on December 2, 2015
Sweet mercy, could the WWE misuse The New Day any worse on RAW this week? They were celebrating their 1 year anniversary, during which time they went from "intentionally terrible gimmick" to "my god, those guys are really playing the hell out of the gimmick they've been handed" to "most over thing in the WWE right now." So what do we do with them? Put them in such a boring, long opening segment with Sheamus that the crowd is generally bored and silent. Put them into a match that already had 8 people in it, and which they have no reason to be in? It's like the WWE producers are sitting in the back with a big red "NEW DAY" panic button and whenever they realize some segment is going to be garbage they hammer that button to try and save it.
I actually like the League of Nations. I like all the members individually (yes, even Sheamus, I think he can be good at what he's good at, if the WWE would just let him do that rather than ask too much of him). I like all of them together. My concern is that I don't know where they fit in. We don't need a big heel stable, that's the Authority. The LoN is too good to be some lackeys of The Authority. Clearly we're in a situation where it's somehow 7 heels vs 4 faces with Authority in the corner of the heels...seems a bit crowded and confusing, no? I wish the LoN would somehow turn on the Authority and become a collective of chaotic evil wrestlers, or shit, even lawful evil, leaving it to the Authority to create chaos.
general question about the crowd: Is Pittsburgh normally a dead silent crowd? Or was WWE muting them much of the night? RAW was so bad that throughout I was basically surprised that there weren't constantly obnoxious bored crowd chants. Just silence. Post-production HULU effect?
posted by jermsplan at 1:08 PM on December 2, 2015
Is Pittsburgh normally a dead silent crowd?
Pittsburgh hosted the 2014 Rumble, and the crowd lustily booed everything that wasn't Daniel Bryan. I don't recall them having a reputation otherwise, but given the almost inevitable overlap with Steelers fans, I can't imagine they're typically quiet. I would chalk it up to resigned boredom over outright hatred. I don't think they muted it for Hulu -- I didn't notice them being loud on the live USA feed either.
posted by Etrigan at 1:28 PM on December 2, 2015
Pittsburgh hosted the 2014 Rumble, and the crowd lustily booed everything that wasn't Daniel Bryan. I don't recall them having a reputation otherwise, but given the almost inevitable overlap with Steelers fans, I can't imagine they're typically quiet. I would chalk it up to resigned boredom over outright hatred. I don't think they muted it for Hulu -- I didn't notice them being loud on the live USA feed either.
posted by Etrigan at 1:28 PM on December 2, 2015
I wish the LoN would somehow turn on the Authority and become a collective of chaotic evil wrestlers
This is basically every fantasy booking scenario that's run through my head for the last year and a half: the Boondock Saints plotline where the Authority wants the belt off Bryan/Cena/Reigns so much that they unleash an uncontrollable force (Lesnar/LON/Shield 2.0) and live to regret it.
posted by Etrigan at 4:04 PM on December 2, 2015
This is basically every fantasy booking scenario that's run through my head for the last year and a half: the Boondock Saints plotline where the Authority wants the belt off Bryan/Cena/Reigns so much that they unleash an uncontrollable force (Lesnar/LON/Shield 2.0) and live to regret it.
posted by Etrigan at 4:04 PM on December 2, 2015
They don't even have far to go. For Pete's sake, the LoN is already the WWE Champ, US Champ, King of the Ring, and Rusev. Rusev is easily good enough to carry any belt they need/want. Maybe figure out one more guy they can make tag with Rusev to go for The New Day's titles. Add Paige (or Natty! Canada is a Nation!) to give them a woman contender. I'm not even saying the LoN should hold all the belts at once, I'm just saying they're already a major force to be reckoned with all the way up and down the card, so they could interject themselves into anything and everything.
Sometimes I wonder if we on the internet worry too much, because we can fantasy book 6 months at a time, while the WWE can only put out shows one episode at a time and we all panic they just won't get it, when they may already have all this scripted and ready to go. On the other hand, as Etrigan points out, they missed similar chances with the Wyatts/Lesnar/Shield2.0 in recent history, so tough to give them the benefit of the doubt.
posted by jermsplan at 7:10 AM on December 3, 2015
Sometimes I wonder if we on the internet worry too much, because we can fantasy book 6 months at a time, while the WWE can only put out shows one episode at a time and we all panic they just won't get it, when they may already have all this scripted and ready to go. On the other hand, as Etrigan points out, they missed similar chances with the Wyatts/Lesnar/Shield2.0 in recent history, so tough to give them the benefit of the doubt.
posted by jermsplan at 7:10 AM on December 3, 2015
NXT this week was another good old-school Superstars episode -- mostly squash matches, some decent actual-names-vs.-actual-names matches (oh, hi Blue Pants; oh, bye Adam Rose), and the return of Gionna Daddio, now free of her dumb Marley name and using the much more Jerseyriffic "Liv Morgan" (sigh). And the Mechanics' riff on the flight home ("And we're gonna take Big Cass's carry-on bag Enzo Amore and stuff him in the overhead...") had me howling.
posted by Etrigan at 10:41 AM on December 4, 2015
posted by Etrigan at 10:41 AM on December 4, 2015
That TLC Go Home RAW was so bad it honestly doesn't even deserve its own post. God. So bad on so many levels. I think the worst is that I used to have a slight dislike for Roman's push and character, but not a dislike for the man. After that "main event" segment where he was basically an asshole bully (way to Be A Star (TM)), I actually dislike him in general, and will just start skipping his segments entirely. Which is a shame, because it'll mean skipping a lot of main events and title matches I imagine.
I know this is a blip on the WWE financials radar, and I don't mean to sound like "look at me, taking a stand", but my credit card got stolen and therefore cancelled a couple weeks ago, and it's the cc# I had on record for WWENetwork billing. So WWE has alerted me that my subscription is on hold till I provide new billing info. I think, for a while, I just won't. TLC isn't even worth $9.99 to me.
posted by jermsplan at 2:47 PM on December 9, 2015
I know this is a blip on the WWE financials radar, and I don't mean to sound like "look at me, taking a stand", but my credit card got stolen and therefore cancelled a couple weeks ago, and it's the cc# I had on record for WWENetwork billing. So WWE has alerted me that my subscription is on hold till I provide new billing info. I think, for a while, I just won't. TLC isn't even worth $9.99 to me.
posted by jermsplan at 2:47 PM on December 9, 2015
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
But anyway, yeah, the SS card is pretty light, and I expect we'll get some kind of thrown-together pre-show traditional elimination match with New Day and ... Cosmic Wasteland I guess? against Lucha Dragons and the Usos and whoever else. Ryback? Who cares.
About halfway through the opening segment I realized that, on the one hand, I get the over-the-top corny setup as a tribute to the Undertaker's 25-versary, but at the same time, man is it corny. I feel like it's sort of falling flat in the middle of the rest of the show right now.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:34 AM on November 17, 2015