The Expendables 3 (2014)
August 15, 2014 3:23 PM - Subscribe

Barney augments his team with new blood for a personal battle: to take down Conrad Stonebanks, the Expendables co-founder and notorious arms trader who is hell bent on wiping out Barney and every single one of his associates.
posted by mathowie (6 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I went in not expecting much so it wasn't great, but I wasn't too disappointed by it.

First off, it hilariously appears to be trying to break the old records for number of on-screen deaths in a movie, which I believe an old Stallone 80s movie held. Random soldiers are killed by the hundreds in this film in a way that was almost comical after a while.

The cast is stacked, so no single actor gets tons of screen time, but Antonio Banderas and (surprisingly) Kelsey Grammer were standouts, while I could have gone for a lot more Statham than it offered.

Overall a pretty straightforward if ridiculous plot and a so-so action movie with a zillion characters. Not great but ok and probably worth a brainless rental someday.
posted by mathowie at 4:02 PM on August 15, 2014

Antonio Banderas and (surprisingly) Kelsey Grammer were standouts

Yes, I thought Antonio Banderas stole the movie. I had no idea he could be so funny. But, at times it was ridiculously obvious certain stunts were being performed by people other than the named actors.

I hope this really won't be the final one. Statham, Banderas, and Terry Crews still look believable in the roles and they could form a new team with the "youngsters". That probably would against the original premise of the series though.
posted by fuse theorem at 6:24 PM on August 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yeah, my expectations were low going in but it was entertaining. Antonio Banderas was pretty funny. I don't recall seeing him in anything where he took such a role.

It amused me to see Stathem in the 'old folks' camp instead of with the youngsters. He's at least two movie generations behind Stallone. I miss Stathem's original movies. They were fun and silly, completely divorced from reality. Kidnapped or Courier or something like that.

Good to see Wesley Snipes getting work again. The abandoned city bit at the end was overly long. This needed Helen Mirren. Are there any other, older female action stars besides Jolie?
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 1:45 AM on August 16, 2014

Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton are compulsory, right? There are two 'female Expendables' films currently in development. I'd prefer that they just made the existing film series co-ed.

I agree with everyone here, and would add that I also really enjoyed Schwarzenegger. He seemed fuzzier and more laid-back than I've ever seen him. And while there definitely wasn't enough Statham, the film had a critical Jet Li deficiency. I love that guy.

Has Mel Gibson played a bad guy before? He was really hateable in this! I couldn't believe that they let him talk for so long on the plane. He was inviting violence on his person for a good five minutes there, talking shit and sowing discord. I kept thinking "surely there is some duct tape on the plane that can go onto his mouth now." (And his dead eyes reminded me of Tony Soprano saying to Richie Aprile, "don't gimme those Manson lamps.")

I don't understand why they would want to turn these films into a mechanism for introducing people to a younger generation of action performer. That seems to go against the entire premise. Did anybody care about those characters? Do you think you were even meant to?

Also, how is it that Dolph Lundgren has been in all of these movies but Rutger Hauer hasn't been in one yet? Let him do the blind swordsman thing again, or be a totally insane villain. The fun possibilities are endless.

I was very amused by the moronic twists on "classic" lines, such as, "I am The Hague," and the "get to the chopper" reference. If they had wanted the entire script to be constructed from such lines, I'm pretty sure my friends and I could have helped them put that together. You think this is the real Expendables 3 thread? It is.
posted by heatvision at 5:22 AM on August 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Duh. How could I forget Weaver and Hamilton? I agree that it should be a co-ed movie. I find it odd that a female version is needed. Weaver kicking Gibson's ass would have been great.

The young crew were entirely forgettable. I just assumed that plot point would be dropped for #4 or they'd be replaced entirely by a new and equally forgettable set of young-uns.
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 6:16 AM on August 16, 2014

I thought this one was better than the second one. Ford is looking way old though, I think he's the eldest gent in the bunch.

Also, I'm wondering if they'll do a reboot in twenty years with guys like Matt Damon, Owen Wilson, Robert Downey, Jr., etc. etc.
posted by valkane at 6:58 AM on August 17, 2014

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