A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Wide Window: Part One   Show Only 
January 15, 2017 12:42 PM - Season 1, Episode 5 - Subscribe

The orphans arrive at the aptly named Lake Lachrymose to meet their widowed Aunt Josephine, a strict grammarian who's haunted by the past.

Plot developments:
*Aunt Josephine is no longer fierce and formidable, and falls for Olaf's latest disguise - the one-legged Captain Sham. On the night of her date with him, the children discover an apparent suicide note by Josephine next to the shattered library window.
*The children deduce the combination to Aunt Josephine's wall safe. Contents include: safe crackers, Ike's whistle music, photographs of Josephine's past fierce and formidableness, and the tome of The History of Secret Organizations.
*Mother and Father decode a telegram and prepare to take flight.
*Fish Head Salesperson played by none other than Daniel Handler

Defined by Lemony Snicket this episode: You can't lock up the barn after the horses are gone

Inventions this episode: none

Some of the Lake Lachrymose storefronts: Look!It Fits! Menswear, Momento Morris' Souveniers, and Anxious Clowns Restaurant

Veronica (Newsman): Coming up next, some very nice people were poisoned. But first, the weather.
Lemony Snicket: If the story of the Baudelaire orphans were a weather report, there would be hardly any sunshine to be seen. Instead, there would be clouds of unhappiness. Blizzards of despair. Misery in the form of sleet storms. Various cold fronts of terror. Horror. Attacks of allergies. Not to mention the threat of a devastating hurricane lurking just off the map.

Taxi driver: You know, what's interesting is the storms in Herman Melville's work are more metaphorical, or even allegorical, rather than the naturalistic style of someone like Thoreau, if you know what I mean. The shore represents our tenuous hold on the earthly nature of mortal existence, and the turbulent waters represent the villainy and troubles in our own lives. Like a threatening rowboat getting closer and closer with each passing moment.

Count Olaf: You know, in many ways, I am married to the sea.
Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender: This is actually a large lake.
Olaf: I am married to the sea, but my girlfriend is a large lake.
White-Faced Woman #1: Land ho!
White-Faced Woman #2: I told you to stop calling me that.

Larry: Count Olaf. I didn't think I'd see you again. After all that unpleasantness with Mr. Snicket.
Olaf: What are you doing here? It's the off-season.
Larry: Thanks to a helpful real estate agent, this restaurant is under new management.
Olaf: New management? Don't make me laugh.
Larry: You're not laughing.
Olaf: Neither are you.
Larry: The Baudelaires are safe and sound and learning everything they need to know - about our secret organization. They should've begun their training years ago, but it's not too late.
Olaf: Rats.
Larry: Their new guardian is the most fierce and formidable member of our organization.
Olaf: Wait, not Snicket?
Larry: What? No. Isn't he dead?
Olaf: Is he? It doesn't matter. All your silly codes and obscure literary references can't save you. The Baudelaire children will be destroyed, and their fortune will be mine. You and your ridiculous comrades will be swept away.

Aunt Josephine: It's a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It's like climbing the stairs to your room in the dark, thinking that there's one more stair than there is. And your foot falls through the air, and there is a sickly feeling of dark surprise.

Fish Head Salesperson: Fish heads! Fish heads! Roly-poly fish heads!

Klaus: Maybe [Aunt Josephine]'s right. The world is a scary place and we should be afraid. No matter where we go, Count Olaf will be there. No matter who we tell, no one will listen to us. There is nowhere safe for us and no guardian can help us. And our parents are never coming back.
Violet: "Life is a conundrum of esoterica." That's what Uncle Monty--
Klaus: Uncle Monty is dead.
Violet: Aunt Josephine isn't. She didn't protect us from Count Olaf, but we can still protect her. We have to warn her, even if it's dangerous.
Klaus: You don't sound scared.
Violet: Remember what Mother said? "Do the scary thing first--"
Klaus: "And get scared afterwards." I'll see what I can find.
Violet: I'll work on that ladder.
posted by oh yeah! (2 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My Netflix freezes up if I do too much pausing and re-starting at the very beginning of the episodes, so there was no way to transcribe the interplay of Mr. Poe's series of mispronunciations of 'Damocles' and Lemony Snicket's narration, but, I so loved it. And every bit of the newscast. And the taxi driver's hurricane plans.

And I loved all the set design of the Lake Lachrymose storefronts. I could only catch partial words on some of them (what was on the giant egg?! I could never see the first word of the name clearly -- ??ED EGG). The sight of Warburton walking out of 'Look!It Fits! Menswear' wearing the mannequin outfit was a thing to behold, but I would be so happy if there was an interactive slideshow of the whole town.
posted by oh yeah! at 12:58 PM on January 15, 2017 [2 favorites]

Fish Head Salesperson: Fish heads! Fish heads! Roly-poly fish heads!

I loled.

I enjoy the fish head song, my husband does not. We still got married though.
posted by chainsofreedom at 4:30 PM on January 26, 2017

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