All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite: AEW All Out (2023)

September 3, 2023 4:37 PM - Season 4 (Specials)

Well folks, I said that this would be a big week for pro wrestling, and I was even more right than I realized. Tonight AEW will try to end the week on a high note in front of an arena full of Chicagoans who are primed to be very vocal.

The announced card for tonight:

ZERO HOUR pre-show:

Over Budget Battle Royale

Six-woman tag team match: Athena, Mercedes Martinez, and Diamante vs. Hikaru Shida, Willow Nightingale, and Skye Blue

AEW World Trios Championship Match: The Acclaimed (Anthony Bowens and Max Caster) and Billy Gunn (c) (with Dennis Rodman at ringside) vs. Jeff Jarrett, Satnam Singh, and Jay Lethal (with Sonjay Dutt and Karen Jarrett at ringside)

Main card:

AEW TNT Championship Match: Luchasaurus (c) (with Christian Cage) vs. Darby Allin (with Nick Wayne)

Miro vs. Powerhouse Hobbs

AEW TBS Championship Match: Kris Statlander (c) vs. Ruby Soho

Strap match: Ricky Starks vs. "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson

Kenny Omega vs. Konosuke Takeshita (with Don Callis)

Eight-man tag team match: Bullet Club Gold (Austin Gunn, Colten Gunn, Jay White, and Juice Robinson) vs. FTR (Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood) and The Young Bucks (Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson)

ROH World Tag Team Championship: Adam Cole and MJF (c) vs. The Dark Order (Alex Reynolds and John Silver)

ROH World Television Championship: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Shane Taylor

Eddie Kingston and Katsuyori Shibata vs. Blackpool Combat Club (Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta)

AEW International Championship Match: Orange Cassidy (c) vs. Jon Moxley

posted by The Pluto Gangsta (20 comments total)

The entire Zero Hour 6-woman match is very reminiscent of those old AJPW-style showcases, like a joshi invasion of AEW.

Willow is bulldozing into barricades, Skye Blue is hitting "code blue", Mercedes is a badass. Seeing Billie Starkz getting pre-show time as Athena's "minion" is a good sign, and it reminds me that WWE turned Alexa Bliss face by giving her Nikki A.S.H. as a sidekick.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 4:52 PM on September 3, 2023

Chicago is way more behind Adam Page than I would have expected.

Nice of Sky Blue to get the hometown win. Tony seems less interested in making people job in front of their neighbors than Vince.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 4:52 PM on September 3, 2023 [1 favorite]

What an entrance for Jeff Jarrett & co. I guess "Sirius" was more expensive than getting "The Final Countdown" for Danielson?

Dennis Rodman is so laid back, he can smack Singh over the head with a guitar, then just casually stroll to a corner of the ring, still holding the remnants of the guitar, and not only does Aubrey Edwards not DQ him, the match just continues while he chills out. Rodzilla getting an assist for the win when usually he picks up the rebounds, nyuk nyuk nyuk.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 5:01 PM on September 3, 2023

By contrast, the MJF/Cole vs Dark Order match is such a WWE-in-the-80s style, between the hometown pandering, the injury comeback, and the ridiculous finishing move, I half-expect Bob Backlund to be lurking somewhere. I can't believe the Dark Order are actually succeeding at getting heel heat from these Chicago smarks.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 5:20 PM on September 3, 2023

I really thought Joe would lose the title tonight, once I saw teasing a match between him and MJF. Champion vs champion is a dicey proposition, so possibly he'll lose it on an episode of ROH instead.

Meanwhile, Darby wins the "first guy to blade in this PPV" award. Does Draft Kings have a category for that?
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 5:44 PM on September 3, 2023

Hahaha this audience is going crazy chanting for "MEAT". Chicago just made this the "Meat Match" in the history books.

MEAT FOREVER
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 6:12 PM on September 3, 2023

Not to take anything away from Miro and Hobbs but I hope they send Big E a cookie bouquet.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 6:16 PM on September 3, 2023 [1 favorite]

And now "Hot & Flexible" wife of Miro (fka Lana) coming out to make the save! After he renounced her out of shame for his neck of sand! But he turns his back on her! "You're not real!" The yearning!

This storyline has now become a psychosexual melodrama, EIGHT STARS
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 6:19 PM on September 3, 2023

This storyline has now become a psychosexual melodrama

I would like for you to name any moment in this “you pray to me” feud that wasn’t a psychosexual melodrama.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 6:38 PM on September 3, 2023 [1 favorite]

Whoa, Danielson coming out to "The Final Countdown" again, I guess firing Punk freed up a lot of cash, huh Tony?
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 6:39 PM on September 3, 2023

If everyone could please stop getting strapped right across the fucking ear I would greatly appreciate it.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 7:00 PM on September 3, 2023

Danielson once again showing that he is the biggest blood pervert AEW has on the roster, and Ricky Starks is 100% capable of working any kind of match the company needs of him.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 7:02 PM on September 3, 2023

Eddie Kingston is the realest kayfabe motherfucker in AEW, not just for carrying his rivalry with Claudio all the way from ROH to Chikara to AEW, but also for finding a new way to shout out the late Terry Funk.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 7:07 PM on September 3, 2023

The Omega/Takeshita match is such a 2016-era Kenny Omega match it's as though Tony Khan figured out how to teleport 10,000 fans to Korakuen Hall... he's even wearing his gear from DDT Pro days! I am wincing with every impact on Kenny's neck and upper shoulders, because I know he'll finish the match no matter how wrecked he gets, which fits the kayfabe story that Callis has coached Takeshita on Kenny's weaknesses. While Callis' attempted murder with screwdriver was averted, Kenny still takes a relatively clean loss.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 7:52 PM on September 3, 2023

I love that, while the crowd is taking Punk's firing pretty well, the Young Bucks are still getting a measure of boos every time they tag in. That may be a forever thing for them now.

The story of this match was the value of teamwork, with so, so many moving parts of all these guys running in and out. The Bucks and FTR had some spots working together, but in the end they couldn't snap the pieces together as well as Bullet Club, where Jay White delivered the sling blade to Wheeler and then fed him to Colton Gunn.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 8:21 PM on September 3, 2023

Shout out to whichever particular cameraperson is getting all these masterfully composed scene-setting shots: Ricky Starks' blood on the turnbuckle, his weight belt, Orange Cassidy's fist, Luchasaurus towering over Darby, etc.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 8:29 PM on September 3, 2023

Thus ends one of my favorite meta jokes in pro wrestling history: The guy whose gimmick is being lazy actually being the company’s most reliable workhorse.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 8:49 PM on September 3, 2023 [2 favorites]

Well, it ended in a spectacular fashion, Orange Cassidy finally getting completely squeezed and left with nothing to carry in his backpack. But Cassidy leaves looking like a superstar, showing no quit in him, having defended his title more times in 320-ish days than Roman Reigns has in over three years.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 8:52 PM on September 3, 2023

Other wrestling fans with better memories than me noticed that this isn't the first time Joe has given MJF a shove.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 8:00 AM on September 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

They could have used Sirius twice but maybe it doesn't work if the heels use it first. Or maybe the E has the rights wrestling-wise if a network version still has the song (I wouldn't know firsthand but they sometimes dub over some music).
posted by LostInUbe at 3:39 AM on September 5, 2023