True Blood: Fire in the Hole
July 6, 2014 7:37 PM - Season 7, Episode 3 - Subscribe
Sookie hatches a dangerous plan to take down the H-Vamps, even as Vince and his armed vigilantes pose an equally serious threat. Lafayette gets high with James; Jason continues to put up with Violet; Willa is forced to find a new place to stay; Sarah Newlin sheds her past. Pam offers Eric a compelling reason to return to Louisiana.
whyyy do i watch this stupid fucking show
posted by desjardins at 9:11 PM on July 6, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by desjardins at 9:11 PM on July 6, 2014 [9 favorites]
im mad
posted by elizardbits at 10:57 PM on July 6, 2014
posted by elizardbits at 10:57 PM on July 6, 2014
at least we got to see his glorious abs one last time
posted by elizardbits at 11:02 PM on July 6, 2014
posted by elizardbits at 11:02 PM on July 6, 2014
We now watch this show in about 8 minutes, tops, by fast-forwarding through any scene that doesn't contain Eric, Pam, Lafayette, or Jessica. I want literally every other remaining character to die in a fire and leave the four of them to go star in a spinoff set at a vineyard in France. (Okay, Andy and Jason can make random cameos.)
posted by scody at 11:33 PM on July 6, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by scody at 11:33 PM on July 6, 2014 [3 favorites]
Well fuck. The season preview said "everyone dies" as I recall, and I guess they meant it. Poor Alcide.
posted by homunculus at 12:29 AM on July 7, 2014
posted by homunculus at 12:29 AM on July 7, 2014
Eric is consistent: he never turns down a chance for vengeance.
posted by homunculus at 12:32 AM on July 7, 2014
posted by homunculus at 12:32 AM on July 7, 2014
Maxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!
Fortenberry
hah
hahahahaha
posted by lapolla at 1:32 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Fortenberry
hah
hahahahaha
posted by lapolla at 1:32 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
ALLLLLLCIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!!
He died as he lived; a nude Adonis.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:46 AM on July 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
He died as he lived; a nude Adonis.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:46 AM on July 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
Seriously though, what the fucking fuck.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:47 AM on July 7, 2014
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:47 AM on July 7, 2014
I mean I guess it was highly probable that not all favorite characters would be surviving the season. I guess I was expecting that all to happen near the end, though, perhaps in one big battle.
My fear is this means they've taken the route of slow attrition, picking the good ones off one by one, until by the last episode us remaining fans are so disgusted we can't even watch anymore.
posted by dnash at 4:57 AM on July 7, 2014
My fear is this means they've taken the route of slow attrition, picking the good ones off one by one, until by the last episode us remaining fans are so disgusted we can't even watch anymore.
posted by dnash at 4:57 AM on July 7, 2014
I use the Scody Method of watching this show, which helps a lot. But I did greatly enjoy peeking at the True Blood twitter hashtag last night to see as many different ways of misspelling "Alcide" as there are stars in the sky.
posted by Stacey at 5:00 AM on July 7, 2014
posted by Stacey at 5:00 AM on July 7, 2014
My fear is this means they've taken the route of slow attrition, picking the good ones off one by one, until by the last episode us remaining fans are so disgusted we can't even watch anymore.
I will say, though, that if the last episode ends with Sookie perched atop a pile of dead boyfriends, filing her nails and declaring "I choose me!", I will declare this the Greatest Show of All Time.
posted by psoas at 5:20 AM on July 7, 2014 [12 favorites]
I will say, though, that if the last episode ends with Sookie perched atop a pile of dead boyfriends, filing her nails and declaring "I choose me!", I will declare this the Greatest Show of All Time.
posted by psoas at 5:20 AM on July 7, 2014 [12 favorites]
In the midst of our Alcide grief, let us not forget naked Eric Northman with 80s hair.
posted by dnash at 5:25 AM on July 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by dnash at 5:25 AM on July 7, 2014 [6 favorites]
I'm a forgiving viewer, but this episode (and season) feel Teen Wolf levels of disjointed. We spent how many episodes hanging around in a bar basement that might have been Fangtasia with a bunch of starving vampires who then die in a hail of anonymous gunfire and stakings because Sookie set herself as bait? That kid who got a talking-to from Sheriff Andy gets another talking-to as he dies? How are we supposed to care about any of this?
posted by cgc373 at 5:48 AM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by cgc373 at 5:48 AM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
It finally happened. Alcide and Sam, naked together in the woods. I can almost forgive his death because of that.
Fave scene: it's a toss-up between Pam telling Eric about Sarah Newlin, and Lafayette/Long Haired Vampire. The look on Pam's face when Eric actually stood up was priceless. But, "I'll do the swallowing"? Pretty expensive too.
Actually, thinking about it, I want this show to end with Pam and Lafayette, back to back against a horde of hepV vamps, armed with nothing but sass, style and backhanded compliments. And Sarah Newlin for bait.
Fave line: "I taste like sunshine and flowers and I'm right fucking here!" Which, about sums up Sookie's character for the first three seasons.
Violet. I think there's an n missing from her name. Maxine Fortenberry isn't my favourite character ever, but I think she's played really well and there's something honest about her character. She completely owns her bigotry. Violet is far more repellent to me than Maxine is.
How did the hepV vamps manage to carry silver chains?
posted by Solomon at 5:50 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Fave scene: it's a toss-up between Pam telling Eric about Sarah Newlin, and Lafayette/Long Haired Vampire. The look on Pam's face when Eric actually stood up was priceless. But, "I'll do the swallowing"? Pretty expensive too.
Actually, thinking about it, I want this show to end with Pam and Lafayette, back to back against a horde of hepV vamps, armed with nothing but sass, style and backhanded compliments. And Sarah Newlin for bait.
Fave line: "I taste like sunshine and flowers and I'm right fucking here!" Which, about sums up Sookie's character for the first three seasons.
Violet. I think there's an n missing from her name. Maxine Fortenberry isn't my favourite character ever, but I think she's played really well and there's something honest about her character. She completely owns her bigotry. Violet is far more repellent to me than Maxine is.
How did the hepV vamps manage to carry silver chains?
posted by Solomon at 5:50 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
For the past two years Alcide is the only reason I've stuck with this show. I'm so over it I read this thread just now before even watching the episode. And now I discover: I can quit! Hooray!
posted by something something at 6:22 AM on July 7, 2014
posted by something something at 6:22 AM on July 7, 2014
I think the writers took some of whatever Lafayette has in his medicine cabinet. I mean, this has gone so entirely off the rails that there is no rational explanation.
Side note: I've been rewatching The Wire and it's really, really hard to believe that Sheriff Andy and Frank Sobotka are played by the same person.
posted by desjardins at 6:28 AM on July 7, 2014
Side note: I've been rewatching The Wire and it's really, really hard to believe that Sheriff Andy and Frank Sobotka are played by the same person.
posted by desjardins at 6:28 AM on July 7, 2014
How are we supposed to care about any of this?
It's like they want to make it so terrible that we're all happy it's ending, in which case, job well done.
posted by elizardbits at 8:01 AM on July 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
It's like they want to make it so terrible that we're all happy it's ending, in which case, job well done.
posted by elizardbits at 8:01 AM on July 7, 2014 [3 favorites]
Violet is far more repellent to me than Maxine is.
There maayyyyy have been some editorial fiddling with the episode description to underline this sentiment.
posted by psoas at 8:22 AM on July 7, 2014
There maayyyyy have been some editorial fiddling with the episode description to underline this sentiment.
posted by psoas at 8:22 AM on July 7, 2014
I'd like to discuss this episode more, but I'm still recovering from the concussion I got by being beaten over the head with the inexpertly wielded HIV/AIDS analogy.
posted by Bunny Boneyology at 8:23 AM on July 7, 2014
posted by Bunny Boneyology at 8:23 AM on July 7, 2014
I was noticing this episode how over the last 6(?) years, of all the actors that have been on this show, the one who appears to have aged the most is Vampire Bill. He is looking very middle-aged in this season; like he could be Sookie's dad. Obviously people age, but it's unfortunate the guy it shows most on is one who is supposed to be immortal. Also Bill is boring as fuck and he is terrible at hiding. Was he supposed to get caught there? I hope so but I don't even remember what the "plan" was.
They seriously underused Alcide in an episode where they killed him off. I felt like his most substantial lines were about defrosting steaks. And I guess Tara really is dead, too. It's becoming a theme. I am expecting Lafayette, Eric and Pam to just not show up anymore and we'll be told there was an accident involving a transport truck full of stakes and they were all in the same car for some reason because that's how this show is going right now. The last characters standing will be Lettie Mae, Bill, and Holly and I will try to remember going forward that this show only had 5 seasons.
Despite my issues with the overarching problems in this show, this was a pretty entertaining episode.
posted by Hoopo at 8:43 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
They seriously underused Alcide in an episode where they killed him off. I felt like his most substantial lines were about defrosting steaks. And I guess Tara really is dead, too. It's becoming a theme. I am expecting Lafayette, Eric and Pam to just not show up anymore and we'll be told there was an accident involving a transport truck full of stakes and they were all in the same car for some reason because that's how this show is going right now. The last characters standing will be Lettie Mae, Bill, and Holly and I will try to remember going forward that this show only had 5 seasons.
Despite my issues with the overarching problems in this show, this was a pretty entertaining episode.
posted by Hoopo at 8:43 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Eh, I rather like Viole(n)t. She's awful in a wonderfully appealing way.
What I really didn't like was how they used her as the foil for terrible, awful, gross horrible bad OOC character development wrt Jason Stackhouse, who for 5 seasons was absolutely not the kind of guy who would tell a woman that she made him so mad that he was going to fuck her whether she liked it or not.
posted by elizardbits at 8:46 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
What I really didn't like was how they used her as the foil for terrible, awful, gross horrible bad OOC character development wrt Jason Stackhouse, who for 5 seasons was absolutely not the kind of guy who would tell a woman that she made him so mad that he was going to fuck her whether she liked it or not.
posted by elizardbits at 8:46 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
The only remotely interesting part of this episode is Eric's desire for revenge.
I mean, I'll miss Alcide's abs, but there was nothing else interesting about him. Okay, he loved and wanted to protect Sookie. Who cares, Bill doesn't seem to really want her anymore, so there's no conflict. We can assume that Sookie will be killed last, if at all.
James 2.0 and Lafayette: snoozefest. We already know they're going to get it on, just get it over with. There is no point to that storyline except to give us more softcore. Well, maybe Jessica kills Lafayette out of jealousy.
Adilyn and Jessica: I guess I'd be interested if that turned into a romance but I don't see it happening. Jessica will probably eat her at some point. Maybe Sheriff Andy will kill her out of revenge.
Jason and Violet: I don't like her, and his stupidity and bad taste in women has gotten boring.
Arlene, Holly and Sam's fiancee: It's criminal that Arlene is so underused; I love the actress. I never liked Holly and Sam's fiancee is boring. I can't even remember her name.
Tara: apparently actually dead, since Pam told Eric she felt it. There's no point in keeping Lettie Mae around anymore, she doesn't further any "plot."
Scody's preferred characters - Eric, Pam, Lafayette and Jessica - are the only ones with any depth. Everyone else is so predictable. I'm not a huge Lafayette fan, but I'd love for the rest of the season to be Eric & Pam going after Sarah Newlin.
posted by desjardins at 8:55 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I mean, I'll miss Alcide's abs, but there was nothing else interesting about him. Okay, he loved and wanted to protect Sookie. Who cares, Bill doesn't seem to really want her anymore, so there's no conflict. We can assume that Sookie will be killed last, if at all.
James 2.0 and Lafayette: snoozefest. We already know they're going to get it on, just get it over with. There is no point to that storyline except to give us more softcore. Well, maybe Jessica kills Lafayette out of jealousy.
Adilyn and Jessica: I guess I'd be interested if that turned into a romance but I don't see it happening. Jessica will probably eat her at some point. Maybe Sheriff Andy will kill her out of revenge.
Jason and Violet: I don't like her, and his stupidity and bad taste in women has gotten boring.
Arlene, Holly and Sam's fiancee: It's criminal that Arlene is so underused; I love the actress. I never liked Holly and Sam's fiancee is boring. I can't even remember her name.
Tara: apparently actually dead, since Pam told Eric she felt it. There's no point in keeping Lettie Mae around anymore, she doesn't further any "plot."
Scody's preferred characters - Eric, Pam, Lafayette and Jessica - are the only ones with any depth. Everyone else is so predictable. I'm not a huge Lafayette fan, but I'd love for the rest of the season to be Eric & Pam going after Sarah Newlin.
posted by desjardins at 8:55 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
bad OOC character development wrt Jason Stackhouse
Kinda sorta. I mean, if Jason has been one thing over the seasons, it's easy to manipulate.
posted by Hoopo at 9:00 AM on July 7, 2014
Kinda sorta. I mean, if Jason has been one thing over the seasons, it's easy to manipulate.
posted by Hoopo at 9:00 AM on July 7, 2014
Contrasting with last week's talk of "how long does it take to drive between towns," - just how small is that forest, that everyone all managed to show up at the same spot at the same moment?
posted by dnash at 9:01 AM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by dnash at 9:01 AM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
That scene with Jason and Violet creeped me out, too. There's shades of "well, Violet could have fought him off if she wanted to" and "see, she really did want him to force himself on her". Ugh. And she's just perpetually nasty to everyone and everything that happens to float into her field of view. Maybe she's supposed to be a character you love to hate, but there hasn't yet been a reason given as to why she's so awful. If she's a character you're just supposed to hate without any reason, I think the writers are doing a good job of portraying that.
Maybe I'm spending a little too much time thinking about her...
I'm sad that Tara has gone. I liked her character. I'm also surprised at myself for liking Reverend Daniels. He seems like a good solid man who isn't completely blinded by his faith. It would be nice if Lettie Mae did something other than try to live through her daughter, though.
After all of the fuss with Billith, the blood is just gone? Logically, shouldn't all of the vamps who drank it be turned into mini-Liliths? Maybe that's what happened to Viole(n)t.
Also, Andy Bellefleur just leaving someone to die. What? At least he didn't shoot the guy in the head, like I half expected him to.
posted by Solomon at 9:06 AM on July 7, 2014
Maybe I'm spending a little too much time thinking about her...
I'm sad that Tara has gone. I liked her character. I'm also surprised at myself for liking Reverend Daniels. He seems like a good solid man who isn't completely blinded by his faith. It would be nice if Lettie Mae did something other than try to live through her daughter, though.
After all of the fuss with Billith, the blood is just gone? Logically, shouldn't all of the vamps who drank it be turned into mini-Liliths? Maybe that's what happened to Viole(n)t.
Also, Andy Bellefleur just leaving someone to die. What? At least he didn't shoot the guy in the head, like I half expected him to.
posted by Solomon at 9:06 AM on July 7, 2014
but there was nothing else interesting about him
INCORRECT there was also the noise he made when he was pissed off, i have so many feelings about that noise
posted by elizardbits at 9:41 AM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
INCORRECT there was also the noise he made when he was pissed off, i have so many feelings about that noise
posted by elizardbits at 9:41 AM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
pants feelings
posted by elizardbits at 9:46 AM on July 7, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 9:46 AM on July 7, 2014 [5 favorites]
FanFare: use the Scody Method.
posted by homunculus at 10:52 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by homunculus at 10:52 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
After all of the fuss with Billith, the blood is just gone?
Yeah, they really dropped the ball on the Lilith storyline.
posted by homunculus at 11:02 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Yeah, they really dropped the ball on the Lilith storyline.
posted by homunculus at 11:02 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I want this show to end with Pam and Lafayette, back to back against a horde of hepV vamps, armed with nothing but sass, style and backhanded compliments.
I want Lafayette's demon to emerge and possess Felix, who then proceeds to wipe out all the HepV vamps and the redneck vigilantes alike.
posted by homunculus at 11:09 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I want Lafayette's demon to emerge and possess Felix, who then proceeds to wipe out all the HepV vamps and the redneck vigilantes alike.
posted by homunculus at 11:09 AM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I was really hoping for this Felix. For serious, if this wasn't such an awful show, he'd be a great addition.
posted by desjardins at 11:14 AM on July 7, 2014
posted by desjardins at 11:14 AM on July 7, 2014
They could get Jordan Gavaris to play Felix the Demon Armadillo. He'd act just like Felix from Orphan Black, except he'd be walking around in an armadillo costume, sort of like like Wilfred.
posted by homunculus at 11:34 AM on July 7, 2014
posted by homunculus at 11:34 AM on July 7, 2014
Well there goes the reason most of the female fans are watching the show.
posted by Catblack at 3:34 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Catblack at 3:34 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I mean, I'll miss Alcide's abs, but there was nothing else interesting about him.
WHAT MORE DID YOU WANT?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:11 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
WHAT MORE DID YOU WANT?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:11 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
James 2.0 will always be Godot to me.
Which allows me to head-canon Vampire!Sutton Foster (she's fierce).
posted by misfish at 4:39 PM on July 7, 2014
Which allows me to head-canon Vampire!Sutton Foster (she's fierce).
posted by misfish at 4:39 PM on July 7, 2014
Can't talk about what I disliked. I'd be here all day, and I probably should get some more work done. Instead, a bright spot or two:
* I really liked the scene between Willa and the reverend, but it definitely belonged on a different show. (I'm surprised by how much I like both those characters, actually.)
* Sookie's scenes were deliciously meta, even if they weren't engaging to watch on their own merits. I liked the image of her in a field, cutting herself to try and speed up the plot.
posted by mordax at 5:08 PM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
* I really liked the scene between Willa and the reverend, but it definitely belonged on a different show. (I'm surprised by how much I like both those characters, actually.)
* Sookie's scenes were deliciously meta, even if they weren't engaging to watch on their own merits. I liked the image of her in a field, cutting herself to try and speed up the plot.
posted by mordax at 5:08 PM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
As soon as they did the Is Lafayette dead? IS HE?? fake-out, I knew someone at least semi-important was going to get it in the neck. I hope this show ends with absolutely everyone dead in a heap—some accidentally, some by their own hand—followed by the return of Hoyt Fortinbras (armed and accompanied by his Alaskan oil refinery co-workers) come to wreak vengeance for his mother's murder and finding only a pile of bodies, a smear of blood-red jelly and a dead dog.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 6:09 PM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 6:09 PM on July 7, 2014 [2 favorites]
In True Blood, Everyone Is Naked And Crying And Dead In The Forest
posted by homunculus at 7:27 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by homunculus at 7:27 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I liked how Sookie's speech about how she doesn't love Alice as much as he loves her in like, pure classic Sookie.
The AIDS metaphor is pretty heavy handed and that's saying something for this show.
Why isn't Jessica healing? I assume we're heading toward a no-supes future
posted by The Whelk at 8:49 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
The AIDS metaphor is pretty heavy handed and that's saying something for this show.
Why isn't Jessica healing? I assume we're heading toward a no-supes future
posted by The Whelk at 8:49 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm so happy Maxine is dead it almost makes the episode
posted by The Whelk at 8:51 PM on July 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 8:51 PM on July 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
Dropping the ball with Billith ( and also, BTW religion is TOTALLY REAL AND THE AFTERLIFE AND MAGIC EXISTS. Is just ...never mentioned.) is just one of the many fascinating plot-lines introduced and never followed up ( what happened to the vampire RICO investigation aargh the whole vampires fitting into modern day plot was the best part argh )
posted by The Whelk at 8:54 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 8:54 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
> I liked how Sookie's speech about how she doesn't love Alice as much as he loves her in like, pure classic Sookie.
Translated as: don't worry about me; I'm not going to need more than an episode's worth of mourning before I'm ready to bone.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 8:58 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Translated as: don't worry about me; I'm not going to need more than an episode's worth of mourning before I'm ready to bone.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 8:58 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
And oh god yes Bill looks so AWKWARDLY MIDDLE AGED. It's like later seasons of Angel bad.
I'm basically just killing time til everyone is dead at this point.
posted by The Whelk at 8:59 PM on July 7, 2014
I'm basically just killing time til everyone is dead at this point.
posted by The Whelk at 8:59 PM on July 7, 2014
What was the point of the Human Bill Flashbacks? To try to stir up some old-timey empathy for him after last season basically turned him into a completely different character? I didn't see why that stuff was in there at all.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 9:05 PM on July 7, 2014
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 9:05 PM on July 7, 2014
Because since he's not ...god he has to be ...uh
Wait a second
Um
Fuck, Bill becomes human and so does Sookie and that's how the show ends so that's why we have that scene.
posted by The Whelk at 9:10 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Wait a second
Um
Fuck, Bill becomes human and so does Sookie and that's how the show ends so that's why we have that scene.
posted by The Whelk at 9:10 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
God, that IS what's going to happen, isn't it? Sookie's going to throw her ball of fizzy ectoplasm at someone and lose her powers. And Bill's going to become a Real Boy, for reasons hinted at by Jessica's impaired healing abilities.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 9:26 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 9:26 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
Then at the end of the last credit Russell Edgington pops up from somewhere and eats them!
posted by sammyo at 9:28 PM on July 7, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 9:28 PM on July 7, 2014 [9 favorites]
I still can't BELIVE they killed off Tara basically off-screen but I kind of want her to stay dead so she doesn't have to be a part of this stuff.
Sookie is gonna blow her fairy wad and Bill will become a Real Boy and this will explain why he looks ten years old cause ...being a living god ages you.
But, you might say, that goes so counter to the ideas and themes set up in the first season! Ideas about assmiliation and the Other and dealing with loving something fundamentally alien. And I will say, shhhh, sweet summer child, no one cares.
posted by The Whelk at 9:37 PM on July 7, 2014
Sookie is gonna blow her fairy wad and Bill will become a Real Boy and this will explain why he looks ten years old cause ...being a living god ages you.
But, you might say, that goes so counter to the ideas and themes set up in the first season! Ideas about assmiliation and the Other and dealing with loving something fundamentally alien. And I will say, shhhh, sweet summer child, no one cares.
posted by The Whelk at 9:37 PM on July 7, 2014
Then at the end of the last credit Russell Edgington pops up from somewhere and eats them!
And then Tiffany will do the weather forecast.
posted by homunculus at 10:09 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
And then Tiffany will do the weather forecast.
posted by homunculus at 10:09 PM on July 7, 2014 [1 favorite]
I sorta-kinda want to imagine that this episode is one of those "test the waters for spinoff series idea" episodes that have become popular in tvland lately. In this case the hypothetical spinoff show would be a prequel set in the 80s about Eric, Pam, and Nan battling vampire yakuza ninjas. I believe this is an excellent, flawless idea and HBO should greenlight it immediately.
And if I ever have to distill the essence of True Blood down to a single 15-second clip, it will be Sookie going "I have a boyfriend, you know," with her mouth full of Bill's bloody arm.
posted by mstokes650 at 10:39 PM on July 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
And if I ever have to distill the essence of True Blood down to a single 15-second clip, it will be Sookie going "I have a boyfriend, you know," with her mouth full of Bill's bloody arm.
posted by mstokes650 at 10:39 PM on July 7, 2014 [4 favorites]
I totally forgot about the 80s style Yakuza Ninjas cause I can't figure out if they're dumb or great cause what is more 1980s than YAKUZA VAMPIRE NINJAS
Like Wolverine in the 80s was each of those things at least once.
posted by The Whelk at 10:41 PM on July 7, 2014
Like Wolverine in the 80s was each of those things at least once.
posted by The Whelk at 10:41 PM on July 7, 2014
Why isn't Jessica healing? I assume we're heading toward a no-supes future
I'm pretty sure they mentioned that the armed mob had silver bullets, yes?
posted by psoas at 7:49 AM on July 8, 2014
I'm pretty sure they mentioned that the armed mob had silver bullets, yes?
posted by psoas at 7:49 AM on July 8, 2014
She wasn't healing before, when her bite mark returned in the attic. Something Is Up.
posted by The Whelk at 7:57 AM on July 8, 2014
posted by The Whelk at 7:57 AM on July 8, 2014
Then at the end of the last credit Russell Edgington pops up from somewhere and eats them!
If only. In fact, if they just did it a little sooner, they could have him do it in slow motion.
posted by mordax at 8:36 AM on July 8, 2014
If only. In fact, if they just did it a little sooner, they could have him do it in slow motion.
posted by mordax at 8:36 AM on July 8, 2014
also sookie didn't bite bill's arm open, he did it himself with his fangs. that i09 article was WRONG ON THE INTERNETS.
posted by elizardbits at 12:27 PM on July 8, 2014
posted by elizardbits at 12:27 PM on July 8, 2014
Every time I watch I'm still convince that this series would be significantly better if they just cut out every single scene with Sookie in it. I used to watch because I love terrible trashy tv. Now I watch because it's just such a train wreck.
Seriously though, can we get rid of Sookie yet?
posted by Arbac at 3:16 PM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
Seriously though, can we get rid of Sookie yet?
posted by Arbac at 3:16 PM on July 8, 2014 [2 favorites]
Is there anyone here who still enjoys this show? Anyone who isn't just hate watching at this point?
I won't give you any shit or even ask you to explain. I'm just curious whether such people even exist.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:55 AM on July 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
I won't give you any shit or even ask you to explain. I'm just curious whether such people even exist.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:55 AM on July 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
I wouldn't say hate watching as much as "well better see how they wrap it up I guess."
posted by The Whelk at 11:54 AM on July 10, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 11:54 AM on July 10, 2014 [3 favorites]
Define "enjoy."
posted by merelyglib at 2:17 PM on July 10, 2014
posted by merelyglib at 2:17 PM on July 10, 2014
Have y'all noticed that multiple times an episode, the story stops dead in its tracks while a character tells an anecdote explaining how they feel about something?
Sookie's Six Flags story was the most egregious.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:44 PM on July 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
Sookie's Six Flags story was the most egregious.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:44 PM on July 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
I find it all deliciously campy and am digging the "meh, fuck it" attitude at this point. The six flags story, "Sookie and Bill" dorky-ass-music, random flashbacks, Alcide getting unceremoniously popped right in the forehead, Bill being a total failure in defending against ostensibly weak vampires but Alcide still paying the cost (ha ha, Team Alcide)...Really, the show got there in season 2 and just slalomed in and out of it since. There's nothing at all egregious on this show ever, when you take the whole thing for what it is. I guess I have True Blood fatigue brought on by GoTzMoar-SRZ Syndrome.
posted by aydeejones at 1:59 AM on July 11, 2014
posted by aydeejones at 1:59 AM on July 11, 2014
Also, I was waiting for Bill to respond with this when Sookie did the whole "He loves me more!" speech:
"Sookie, Alcide is ultimately a dog. Dogs always love their owners unconditionally. You say nothing new. The question is, do you want to own a dog, or do you want to rule the world with me? [rips out jugular]"
[Eric swoops in, brief fight, gets impaled by accident on a tree]
Sookie turned
♫Bill and Sookie Music♫
posted by aydeejones at 2:01 AM on July 11, 2014 [2 favorites]
"Sookie, Alcide is ultimately a dog. Dogs always love their owners unconditionally. You say nothing new. The question is, do you want to own a dog, or do you want to rule the world with me? [rips out jugular]"
[Eric swoops in, brief fight, gets impaled by accident on a tree]
Sookie turned
♫Bill and Sookie Music♫
posted by aydeejones at 2:01 AM on July 11, 2014 [2 favorites]
Is there anyone here who still enjoys this show? Anyone who isn't just hate watching at this point?
Why do people keep asking this? The show was never high concept art. It was trashy and fun and silly. It's the last season, everyone on the show knows that they've already doublejumped a couple of sharks that choked to death on a sea lion, so why not pull all the stops and be as trashy and silly as possible and hope to have a little fun?
Yesyes, there's stupid filler annoying junk interspersed in there and there's maybe more of that this season so far, but I'm actually digging their (spit) take on "herd mentality" and do an Idiocracy-esque "yes people are really that dumb" even if they've already done it a lot better when Ensign Ro visited town.
posted by porpoise at 9:09 PM on July 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
Why do people keep asking this? The show was never high concept art. It was trashy and fun and silly. It's the last season, everyone on the show knows that they've already doublejumped a couple of sharks that choked to death on a sea lion, so why not pull all the stops and be as trashy and silly as possible and hope to have a little fun?
Yesyes, there's stupid filler annoying junk interspersed in there and there's maybe more of that this season so far, but I'm actually digging their (spit) take on "herd mentality" and do an Idiocracy-esque "yes people are really that dumb" even if they've already done it a lot better when Ensign Ro visited town.
posted by porpoise at 9:09 PM on July 18, 2014 [1 favorite]
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
ALLLLLLCIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!!
posted by psoas at 8:00 PM on July 6, 2014 [4 favorites]