The Walking Dead: Now

November 9, 2015 5:13 AM - Season 6, Episode 5

Trouble is inside and outside the gate.
posted by mama casserole (88 comments total)

I think I fell asleep during this. Must have been after the roaring of WE HAVE TO BE DEAD QUUET NEAR THE WALL, GEDDIT CORAL, DEAD QUIET!?! though, or possible the roaring in the tunnel or some of the other hugely loud activities they proceeded to engage in. Not to mention smelly activities like leaving dead folks in the Georgia sun for a day or two, and otherwise almost cruelly enticing activities like walking up on the wall, touching the wall, painting on the wall, banging on the wall and what have you. But good on you for closing the blinds, that'll probably swing it.
posted by Iteki at 5:42 AM on November 9, 2015 [14 favorites]

Close the blinds, but leave the garage door wide open with the light on.
posted by 2ht at 5:49 AM on November 9, 2015 [2 favorites]

Speeches! Moralizing speeches that say exactly what the speaker is thinking, as far as the eye can see!
posted by codacorolla at 6:19 AM on November 9, 2015 [14 favorites]

I cannot take Carl's hair for much longer. I JUST CANNOT.
posted by something something at 6:23 AM on November 9, 2015 [21 favorites]

Have not watched this season but a general comment, I'd ignored TWD until much praise and then binged over several weeks the first 2-3 seasons. Then watched one season with commercials and kept up mostly weekly. The gaps to notice all the plot holes really hurt my appreciation. The show has some varied intensity of image and theme and ideas but they do not hold up well if examined closely. It's a scary coaster ride, but not deep.
posted by sammyo at 6:31 AM on November 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

They really could have shortened all of these monologues if they just cut to the chase: "SEE EVERYONE RICK WAS RIGHT AND NOW HE MUST SAVE US" (all caps because it was apparently necessary to yell all dialogue this episode).
posted by thefang at 6:49 AM on November 9, 2015

I'm disappointed that they did end up 'shipping Rick and that lady. And that the son came around to Rick. Wasn't there a shot of him at the beginning with a gun? What happened to that? And sorry lady, now you are for sure going to die since we know Rick never will. When? Only when the story needs some drama.

Maggie sure gave up on looking for Glenn pretty quick. Also, she had wrought iron bars and decided to try with her knife. At this point, everyone should be using long pointy sticks.

Didn't Aaron have a boyfriend at some point? What happened to him?
posted by LizBoBiz at 6:53 AM on November 9, 2015 [3 favorites]

This episode felt very third-season-of-Lost-y to me, focusing on all those people we barely know and don't care about. That whole incident in the pantry where Handsome Tall Guy yelled at Bruce for trying to take extra food made me laugh. Who's Bruce? Who cares? I do like the new doctor lady. But the rest of them feel like Nikki and Paulo.
posted by something something at 6:58 AM on November 9, 2015 [8 favorites]

So with all the walkers surrounding the town Rick says they need to lay low and be quiet. So what do they do? They have people up on the walls keeping guard and baiting the walkers. What is the point of that? With walkers "20 deep" around the fence they probably don't have to worry about intruders. I would trust Glenn and Daryl to be able to signal that they want to be let in some other way.

Once again, I'm frustrated by this show because I know I would be so much better at this than anyone else. It's like my workday in story form.
posted by bondcliff at 7:07 AM on November 9, 2015 [8 favorites]

We saw Aaron's boyfriend briefly in the medical room in the past 1-2 episodes.

This episode felt like we character building for new people that will become regulars. Similar to when we met Abraham and his crew last season. Aaron. Denise. Jessie and sons. Possibly Spencer and/or Deanna.

Do we need new main characters? Ehhhh. Do we need new walker bait that we somewhat feel for? Probably.
posted by 2ht at 7:08 AM on November 9, 2015 [3 favorites]

I'm not sure why I'm still watching this show. I don't care much even for our original characters. I dislike Rick, and this is his story. I'm not that into zombie lore. I did have nightmares last night, but they were about dinosaurs.

Maybe I am just frustrated with the lack of a cohesive plot. The repetition of settling down, getting upended, settling down, getting upended, over and over, while perhaps more realistic, is feeling tedious. Especially when in most cases, our protagonists are passively coming across settlements that others have established (Hershel's farm/Woodbury/Terminus/Alexandria) instead of proactively building their own (the prison). The fall of the prison had resonance because that was Rick's dream, but I don't feel the same empathy for a new character like Tasha Char or Deanna.

I complain about this every week, but that's because it happens every week, and that's a main character having a prolonged wrestling match with a zombie and not getting bitten. Maggie was pushing at that sewer zombie for a long time, and it easily could have taken a chunk out of her arm. Any other character, it would have gotten a bite, but Maggie was wearing plot armor, so. Are zombies supposed to be menacing, or not? Is Rick really worried about the horde outside the walls, because telling people to turn off the lights and hope the zombies lose interest really contradicts his decision to post people on the watch tower in full view of the zombies.
posted by mama casserole at 7:43 AM on November 9, 2015 [9 favorites]

The pantry speech gave me hope that Spencer could be good as well as bad, like every human being who ever existed, but after the drunken "it's all your fault, mom!" rant and the hilarious cracker eating scene, I remembered the show writers do not do nuance. Also lol at Rick's we must be vewy vewy quiet speech and then everyone doing the exact opposite.

Also no Carol which automatically makes this episode the worst episode of the season and safely places it on the top ten worst episodes ever list.

The zombie designers continue to do Oscar-level work though. The sewer zombies were fantastic and kudos to the great snarling by the suicide zombie. Well done!
posted by longdaysjourney at 9:01 AM on November 9, 2015 [12 favorites]

Also a bad little piece of me is quietly rooting for Ron, who is going about his plan to kill Rick and/or Carl with a fair amount of skill for a teenager.
posted by longdaysjourney at 9:04 AM on November 9, 2015 [8 favorites]

But good on you for closing the blinds, that'll probably swing it.

Of course, smooching in the GIANT GLOWING OPEN GARAGE probably doesn't help much...
posted by Sys Rq at 9:29 AM on November 9, 2015

I cannot take Carl's hair for much longer. I JUST CANNOT.

Good news! His dad's hooking up with a very talented hairdresser. He'll be looking like Mr. Spock in no time, just as soon as she finds a bowl big enough.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:31 AM on November 9, 2015 [14 favorites]

March of the Besieged Alexandrians (fortississimo)

WE MUST BE VERY QUIET
OUR NOISE ATTRACTS THE WALKERS
IF YOU’VE SOMETHING TO SAY
DON’T SAY IT, I PRAY
FOR WE MUSTN’T START A RIOT
AND WE CAN’T BE NOISY TALKERS
WE MUST BE VERY SILENT
FOR OUR VOICES LURE THE CORPSES
IF YOU MUST MAKE A SPEECH
OR LECTURE, OR PREACH
OR START A QUARREL VIOLENT
CONSIDER LOWERED VOICES!
TAN-TANTARA!
TARANTARANTARA
TZING-BOOM!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:44 AM on November 9, 2015 [18 favorites]

There were some cool moments here. Devious Ron was great actually. And so awesome to see Alexandria lady get some spine and murder the crap out of a zombie with a broken whiskey bottle.

Also greatest zombie of the whole series down there in the sewer.

Some alternate plot suggestions for this episode:

Maggie goes looking for Glenn but gets bitten in the sewer.

Spencer makes an impassioned speech to Alexandrians attempting to loot the food pantry. They listen, then ignore him and continue looting.

The one remaining wolf imprisoned by Morgan works free of his bonds and tries the door. Finding it locked, he escapes via the glass, unbarred window that was CLEARLY VISIBLE BEHIND MORGAN WHEN HE LOCKED THE DOOR, and begins the arduous work of killing everyone in Alexandria including the children.

Rick makes a move on Ron's mom in her garage. She stabs him for killing her husband.

Glenn makes it back at the end of the episode, just in time to catch Maggie in her last moments.
posted by natteringnabob at 9:56 AM on November 9, 2015 [12 favorites]

If I were writing the show, here's how the next ep would go:

Carol shows up at every occupied home and hands over a note telling the Alexandrites to show up at the centermost home inside the walls at 7 pm.

Carol then holds up a hand for silence once the Alexandrites assemble, and runs them through a presentation written on one of those corporate paper whiteboards with colored markers. It reads:

WALKER GUTS CAN BE USED AS CAMO.

EVERYONE NEEDS A BACKPACK.

FILL YOURS W/WATER, FOOD, ESSENTIAL MEDICATIONS.

MEET AT 8 A.M. IN $AREA (whatever part of the wall that's got the thinnest concentration of walkers presently).

GRAB A PONCHO/TRENCHCOAT; WEAR OVER BACKPACK.

SMEAR IT WITH WALKER BLOOD/GUTS (I WILL PROVIDE).

WALK SLOWLY/QUIETLY PAST WALKERS UNTIL I SIGNAL.

She would then hand out photocopies of a hand-drawn rendezvous map. Q&A by the townsfolk would be taken via handwritten notes.

Obviously that won't happen, though. We'll be treated instead to 70 minutes of Daryl riding his motorcycle alone through the back roads, somehow lost and running out of gas without radio contact from anyone until he's super-dehydrated and right next to Alexandria's wall!herd, and then 20 minutes of Maggie getting her first prenatal exam from Denise and Tara, who is now training to be Denise's nurse. Of course, the town's only ultrasound machine is conveniently in the same location as the Wolf prison and the Wolf overhears everything, breaks out, kidnaps pregnant Maggie and Denise, and bluffs his way safely out of town while letting in the entire zombie horde. *eyeroll*
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:02 AM on November 9, 2015 [22 favorites]

MAGGIE:
I need to do this on my own, because, um, love or something, I guess? Reasons. Definite, actual, motivating reasons. Yeah, that's the ticket.

AARON:
But what if you twist your ankle?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:04 AM on November 9, 2015 [19 favorites]

What an incoherently written episode. So dumb and insulting to viewers who actually care about the world of the show.

Expectations for this season lowered accordingly. Again.
posted by mediareport at 10:07 AM on November 9, 2015 [3 favorites]

And that the son came around to Rick.

I assumed that was just some sort of clumsy attempt at nefariously gaining his trust? which will of course work because rick is such a goob.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:12 AM on November 9, 2015 [2 favorites]

This episode felt very third-season-of-Lost-y to me

Also for the fact that characters aren't talking to each other. Because if Carol told the entire town (not just Rick) that she'd killed a Wolf but couldn't find its body, the town would probably go off looking for it or at least be on alert for it, and we wouldn't get the scene where Deanna gets ambushed. And apparently no one has told Deanna that stabbing a zombie in the chest does absolutely nothing except perhaps knock it down, at which point you should probably go for a headshot instead of continuing to stab it in the chest.
posted by mama casserole at 10:28 AM on November 9, 2015 [8 favorites]

How that watchtower scene reads with the sound down:

"Hey, Rick, can I talk to you man-to-man?"

"Sure, kid whose mom I'm doing. What's up?"

"Okay, well, say you're in some sort of love triangle, and the other guy is a total dick. What do you do?"

"Kill him."

"Really?"

"Yep. You know, like I killed your dad."

"Oh. Yeah. Right."

"Anything else I can help you with?"

"Yes, actually. Switching to a totally unrelated topic: Can you teach me how to shoot a gun?"

"Sure! Here, you can use mine."
posted by Sys Rq at 10:31 AM on November 9, 2015 [25 favorites]

I cannot take Carl's hair for much longer. I JUST CANNOT.

I think an excellent episode could be made of "Coral gets a haircut". Might even turn it into a spinoff or at least a miniseries. Lord knows it'd be better than this nothing of an episode. I feel like we're back on the highway before they found the farm.
posted by scalefree at 10:48 AM on November 9, 2015 [2 favorites]

*Rick walks up to large crowd*

"Hey! Hey, everybody! Hey..."

*Rick taps Megaphone, pushes that weird beeping horn button they have, begins speaking into it*

"Listen! We have to be quiet! So they can't hear us!"

This episode blew. There wasn't one part of it that was good, except for the F/X of the sewer zombies.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 11:20 AM on November 9, 2015 [3 favorites]

I was a little surprised that after months (years? very unclear on show time) of rotting in the sewer that the zombies still had enough muscle fiber to be as active as they were. But maybe zombies move by the same magical means that animates skeletons in Ray Harryhausen movies rather than muscle power.
posted by larrybob at 11:23 AM on November 9, 2015

Previous Episode

"We have to lead them away from home. Going back would just be for us."

This Episode

*Rick leads horde to front door of Alexandria on foot*
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 11:24 AM on November 9, 2015 [14 favorites]

I know that sewer was probably designed as water runoff, but I choose to believe that those zombies in the sewer were Poo Zombies because METAPHOR.
posted by Dr. Zira at 11:26 AM on November 9, 2015

in the Georgia sun

Virginia sun, so a bit cooler.

Didn't Aaron have a boyfriend at some point? What happened to him?

I've been wondering the same thing. Apparently he's still alive, and has had some brief non-speaking appearances this season.

This episode felt very third-season-of-Lost-y to me

Heh. Forbes thought the same thing.

Yep; the sewer zombies were awesome. It looks like this show is always going to be full of plot holes and irrational character behavior, but at least they know how to craft a good "oh shit suddenly zombies" scene. For a moment, I actually thought Maggie was about to get bitten (or maybe already had been bitten).

The way this episode handled Glenn's disappearance makes me certain that he's alive. Which means that the "whose guts are those?" scene really was a giant gimmicky stupid fake-out. I suspect they'll wait a few more episodes to reveal that, though. At least that'll give them time to further develop some of the Alexandrians—Aaron seems to be coming to the foreground, which is fine. Better him than, say, Gabriel.

I think an excellent episode could be made of "Coral gets a haircut".

Carl's hair gets bitten, and they have to put it down before it turns.

But maybe zombies move by the same magical means that animates skeletons in Ray Harryhausen movies rather than muscle power.

It only makes sense if you don't think about it too much.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 1:12 PM on November 9, 2015 [2 favorites]

What is the deal with that storm sewer? Shouldn't they secure that a bit better? It's fairly short and fairly straight, so you'd think any half-competent invader recon team would notice that giant culvert leading directly into the walled city and have a eureka moment.

And, come to think of it, why was Maggie so anxious about Glenn? He's only been gone a couple hours, right? And he's expected to be out for a few more? Like, it's not that Glenn's late, just that Rick's early, because Rick is a moron who forgot the whole point of the plan for some reason.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:23 PM on November 9, 2015 [3 favorites]

There was at least 1 turn off in the tunnel. And the ground grate inside the town seemed to be locked. (Aaron fiddled with it for a bit, I couldn't tell if he was actually removing a lock). Either way, the only half-competent invaders have been Rick and his company, and we know how that ended.
posted by 2ht at 2:28 PM on November 9, 2015

Looks the (ex-)bosswoman has finally realized that growing food might be a good idea. What on earth were the Alexandrians doing in the years since the apocalypse? Watching daytime TV and having quilting bees?

If I were boss of a walled city surrounded by zombies, I would have the populace use the many pieces of construction equipment lying around to plow and seed the open spaces inside the wall, and clear the structures closer than a bow-shot outside of the walls. Maybe dig some steep-sided zombie pits to form a moat around the town. We already know from previous episodes that zombies cannot get out of steep-sided pits.

Then the show could turn into a swash-buckler with feuding city states and zombies instead of wolves.
posted by monotreme at 2:34 PM on November 9, 2015 [5 favorites]

WHA? This is what life's like now? WTF, yet another episode dealing with the one-dimensional feelings of the slow-to-realize-that-a-zombie-apocalypse-has-happened-and-that-the-world-you-once-knew-is-now-over-cosseted denizens of Alexandria.

So, the plot is now a still life. Key happenings...

1) Carl's love rival is possibly up to some nefarious social engineering
2) Maggie's baby's name might be Erin
3) Annoying little boy won't come downstairs - that's a plus in my book.
posted by mattoxic at 2:38 PM on November 9, 2015 [2 favorites]

Then the show could turn into a swash-buckler with feuding city states and zombies instead of wolves.

That's very much my dream for this sort of story. Done properly, zombies aren't really like other movie monsters. They're more of an environmental hazard that complicates all normal operations. I would love to see a lengthy study of the rebuilding of civilization under those constraints, with thoughtful people and halfway decent logistics. (I guess what I really want is, like, The Wire And Also There's Zombies For Some Reason.)

Instead, there's *this*. (Last week's episode's unbelievable laziness disgusted me enough that I couldn't think of anything to even say about it.)

Also:
Also no Carol which automatically makes this episode the worst episode of the season and safely places it on the top ten worst episodes ever list.

+100 favorites. TEAM CAROL.
posted by mordax at 2:42 PM on November 9, 2015 [13 favorites]

Oh god, I forgot all the inappropriate kissing! Dafuq, I am a giant femslash fan so trust me, if there had been an ounce of chemistry or subtext between those girls I woulda found it, as it is Dr. Noob just rolled up and smacked one on someone who had been about as friendly and encouraging to her as she is Mulletman. And gross old Rick, I really enjoyed last week when she told him "don't be such a murderous white-knighting creepster" and now she mackin' on him... smh. Speaking of heads, while they were up there on the wall I really wanted someone to have a plumb-bob or weaponised yoyo and just be plinking the skulls of the ones right below. Pop. Pop. Pop.
posted by Iteki at 3:02 PM on November 9, 2015 [5 favorites]

SERIOUSLY why not a slingshot and some marbles. SILENT ZOMBIE DEATHS.
posted by poffin boffin at 3:28 PM on November 9, 2015 [5 favorites]

I would just like to announce that I am a fan of Carl's 70s-cute hair.
posted by mediareport at 3:30 PM on November 9, 2015

marbles:

- not being hoarded by other survivors
- probably you can find them at all kinds of stores that haven't been heavily looted
- reusable
- don't look like a weapon when you are taken hostage by cannibals

MARBLES!
posted by poffin boffin at 3:30 PM on November 9, 2015 [12 favorites]

Z Nation's best shooter rocks with washers and nice serrated cogs in a black widow, or diablo or summat. Now I need a slingshot....
posted by Iteki at 3:39 PM on November 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

Add me to the +1 camp for the shit zombies. Shit zombies are the worst. But seriously, ghuise: Aaron has an open wound after falling into sewer water and we have to believe it isn't going to immediately go septic? Seeing as how, you know, random Alexandria dude is in a coma because of mysterious infections. Admittedly, Doctor Secret LadyGay SexPest can just suck infection out with a syringe, but surely medical emergencies are a bit more emergencyish when you can't get replacement drugs. Also where are they getting the drugs from, if there is so little food that hoisting a pack of crackers is a major no-no?

I'm in awe though, in awe I say of character development in this season: When Rick shouts at you, your whole outlook on life changes. That's it! So simple a child could do it. Except that Ron kid.

As far as Carl's hair goes, my bet is that in the penultimate episode of the season we either see some tragedy which causes Carl to 'man up' and shave all his girly hair off as part of his zombie killing badass character development, or we get a long, tender 10 minute haircut (with tinkly Bear McReary lovepiano and lens flare) from NewMom before she gets cannonfoddered. Because this show is designed to make you feel like the world has ended and you can't have nice things any more like coherent plots and direction.
posted by prismatic7 at 3:51 PM on November 9, 2015 [8 favorites]

Ok, I watched this twice and I've decided I've missed something because the writers weren't so lazy as to just handwave and teleport Rick out of the zombie-surrounded RV, were they??


('cause if that's the case there may be hope for Glenn yet, I guess?)
posted by TwoStride at 3:55 PM on November 9, 2015 [3 favorites]

Ok, I watched this twice and I've decided I've missed something because the writers weren't so lazy as to just handwave and teleport Rick out of the zombie-surrounded RV, were they??

They totally did.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:14 PM on November 9, 2015 [9 favorites]

I would just like to announce that I am a fan of Carl's 70s-cute hair.

It's called the Dee Dee Ramone.
posted by cazoo at 4:48 PM on November 9, 2015 [2 favorites]

Ok, I watched this twice and I've decided I've missed something because the writers weren't so lazy as to just handwave and teleport Rick out of the zombie-surrounded RV, were they??

Don't worry, they can always waste a whole episode with a flash back to that next season.
posted by codacorolla at 7:35 PM on November 9, 2015 [10 favorites]

lol at all this talk about Carl's haircut. I'll leave it at that.

Also, what the hell kind of shoplifting was that, Spencer?

Spencer: *I* shot the truck driver. That's what *I* did. And Where Were You, Bruce?

SHOTS FIRED

(4 hours later)

SPENCER is seen atop the wall, pensively eating a stale sleeve of CARR'S table water crackers.

Because he's a right bastard, Spencer is eating them whole. Justice is swift, though: This act destroys the roof of his mouth.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:08 PM on November 9, 2015 [2 favorites]

Who else besides me and Mordax is in favor of emigrating from the Virginian Ricktatorship to the United States of Carol?
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:10 PM on November 9, 2015 [4 favorites]

Who else besides me and Mordax is in favor of emigrating from the Virginian Ricktatorship to the United States of Carol?

Sign me up for that army. Still do not quite understand why Rick is the leader instead of Carol, the person who single-handedly saved them all from the Terminus cannibals and who rallied and led the defense against the Wolves. By any objective standard (ok, ok, imho) she would appear to be a better leader than Rick, who crossed over into Shanesville quite a ways back.

I just hope her plot armor is unto titanium as she's the primary reason I'm still watching.
posted by longdaysjourney at 9:38 PM on November 9, 2015 [4 favorites]

you know, i can think of maybe two times speechifying Rick has been emotionally effective:
1) When he's trying to talk the Guv down from hacking Herschel

Actually I can only think of one time. Writers! Get your shit together.
posted by angrycat at 4:10 AM on November 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

Things would run better if Carol was around more, doubly so if she were in charge. We can't have that happening, so she's used in small doses (and to revitalize the fans).

The sewer zombies were awesome - gooey to the point that Maggie was able to push her fist through one. But how do they still have eyeballs? (Yeah, yeah, "how are there zombies in the first place?")


longdaysjourney: Also a bad little piece of me is quietly rooting for Ron, who is going about his plan to kill Rick and/or Carl with a fair amount of skill for a teenager.

I thought Ron's plan was to lure Carl and/or Rick out there to save Enid, hoping the swarm of zombies at the doorstep would do them in. You don't tell a young boy that the girl he likes is outside the walls, or tell Mr. Honorable Actions in the Face of Certain Doom that there's a young girl wandering in the wilderness, unless you want them to do something about it (and hopefully die in the process).


Iteki: Not to mention smelly activities like leaving dead folks in the Georgia Virginia sun for a day or two

I thought Rick's "we don't bury murderers" bit was going to lead to them chucking the bodies over the wall. Zombies aren't as efficient as hungry pigs, but I imagine they could mash up the remains in short order. Anyway, how do zombies themselves smell? They are animated corpses, slowly rotting on their own, so I don't imagine a few truly dead bodies would make that much more smell in the compound.


LizBoBiz: Maggie sure gave up on looking for Glenn pretty quick.

I thought she came to terms with the fact that she couldn't go out there and rescue him, but she still believed that he was alive (thus washing his name off the wall of the dead).
posted by filthy light thief at 9:06 AM on November 10, 2015 [2 favorites]

I think Carol and Darryl both see how leadership in the ZA tends tomake you cuckoobananapants in the nogginbone, and neither one of them wants any part of it.

Until I saw him on Talking Dead, I suspected Carl's hair was a vintage wig.

My take on Maggie is the same as filthy light thief's. She wanted to try to find Glenn, but it just got really real for her that she had more to think about than herself and Glenn
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:19 AM on November 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

Iteki: Speaking of heads, while they were up there on the wall I really wanted someone to have a plumb-bob or weaponised yoyo and just be plinking the skulls of the ones right below. Pop. Pop. Pop.

Great idea. If you're going to be on Wolf Watch / Lookout for the Lost, at least thin the herd with something reusable, or at least not limited by shortages. (Marbles! Of course!)


Regarding Rick's magic teleportation out of his zombie-surrounded RV (and this week's scene with Deanna smacking the gate to say "suck it zombies, I wanna live!") made me think of Mars Attacks and the boxer who is surrounded by martians, and proceeds to take em all on. I imagine Rick did something like that, and I was kind of hoping Deanna would, too. Alas, it was just another dumb case of her teasing the masses.


mama casserole: And apparently no one has told Deanna that stabbing a zombie in the chest does absolutely nothing except perhaps knock it down, at which point you should probably go for a headshot instead of continuing to stab it in the chest.

SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER BY NOW! I get that no one tells anyone anything, but aren't headshots known by all? How did Jessie know to stab the wrist-cutter in the head (eye)?
posted by filthy light thief at 9:54 AM on November 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

She wanted to try to find Glenn, but it just got really real for her that she more to think about than herself and Glenn

I understand that was the implication with her immediately blurting out to Aaron that she's pregnant, but this really really bothers me for three reasons:

1) Originally, she was willing to go over the wall by herself at night to find Glenn. Aaron's plan to go underneath doesn't work so why not just go back to the original plan?

2) Being pregnant is a bullshit reason to not try and save Glenn. It feels to me like not going *because she's pregnant* is dismissive of Glenn's life and his importance to her. It just feels very out of character to me, like everything we've seen up to this point would indicate that Maggie would do anything for Glenn.

3) Its bullshit that every time a character is pregnant on a show like this where people are supposed to be action heroes, all of the sudden the pregnant lady can't do anything and becomes a damsel in distress. Being pregnant does not make you helpless, unless you're on TV. And I don't trust TWD writers to not do that to Maggie.
posted by LizBoBiz at 10:17 AM on November 10, 2015 [5 favorites]

Finally got caught up after weeks of not being able to watch. Saw enough on Facebook to know that something bad had happened to Glenn and that it somehow involved a dumpster. Silly Facebook people posting spoilers. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Glenn is alive, just like that character from Game of Thrones is alive despite appearances.

The Alexandrites are the least resilient people I have ever seen in any difficult situation that I have actually lived through. I get the horror of stinking, rotting corpses trying to kill you, but you've just got to adapt and drive on.

I would say that they should just open the gate, let a few in, kill those, and then drag the bodies to a collection point for disposal. Repeat over the next couple weeks. It would take a long time and be somewhat risky, but I think it would be effective. But I'm sure the Alexandrites would mess it up somehow or just commit suicide en masse at the thought of doing something like that. They could at least construct a series of long pointy sticks and start killing the ones closest to the guard towers. Long pointy sticks, we're talking caveman shit here. You could even get fancy and tape a knife to the end of the stick. Get wild with it.

During the flashback episode when Rick was trying to talk to Jesse and she wasn't into it, I was thinking "Dude, Rick. Women hate it when you kill their husbands. Hate it to hell. Now is not the time." But I guess now is the time so at least he's got that going for him.

In closing, I too feel like I would be much better at this.

Oh and one more thing, why are there so many zombies just wandering the woods. Have the show producers ever been in the woods? There's a whole lot of nothing out there and they're hard to move through. I just can't believe that there would be that many zombies out there in the spaces between towns. Maybe I'm crazy to have such ideas.
posted by A Bad Catholic at 11:03 AM on November 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

Liz I mostly agree - my thought was that Maggie probably just had her pregnant lady smell amplifier activated and became nauseated by battling a sewer walker.

Women in the first trimester can get super-sensitive to smells and easily sickened; it's hard to defend yourself from attack on all sides whilst puking.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 11:05 AM on November 10, 2015

Alternate title for this ep: "Forty-Three More Minutes of Bullshit for You to Sit Through Before You Find Out If Glenn Is Really Dead."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:20 AM on November 10, 2015 [12 favorites]

I realize this is a) gruesome and b) expensive, in terms of FX. But this is rural Georgia... has no one ever considered just gassing up a combine harvester and driving through the zombie horde? You might have to fortify the sides a bit to keep the strays off of you, but you could destroy large masses of zombies and spit them back into a bin for convenient dumping later.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:40 AM on November 10, 2015 [9 favorites]

Someone please take my money for a movie/show where a zombie horde is wiped out with a combine harvester.

TAKE MY MONEY NOW.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:41 AM on November 10, 2015 [6 favorites]

Why not have mandatory once a week super quiet time, and then have air raid sirens stationed a couple miles apart that go off in sequence which draws zombies away from town. Easy peasy I just solved Walking Dead.
posted by ian1977 at 11:58 AM on November 10, 2015 [12 favorites]

That is pretty genius. Though I guess over time, lingering hordes could push the towers down and then you'd have mega hordes. But criminy, why not at least try.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:05 PM on November 10, 2015

I can't speak for anyone else, but I am totally okay with it if this entire thread turns into "Listing Better Ways to Deal With A Zombie Horde."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:06 PM on November 10, 2015 [5 favorites]

Really tho why weren't sasha and Abraham blasting loud music from the car? The zombie luring car, the car being used to lure the zombies, the zombies that are hella easy to lure with noise

Why wasn't someone just leaning out the window banging fucking pot lids together

Why when the horn started going off WHY DIDNT THEY HONK THEIR OWN HORN

feh
posted by poffin boffin at 12:19 PM on November 10, 2015 [12 favorites]

Drones with air horns! Swarms of them. Redundancy!
posted by ian1977 at 12:22 PM on November 10, 2015

I wonder if you could lure zombies off a cliff with noise? Maybe thats what the grand canyon is for! Air horn to attract zombies, fill canyon with zombies!
posted by ian1977 at 12:41 PM on November 10, 2015

Prepare a section of forest several acres big by bulldozing around it and preburning a ring. Then, lure the zombies in with church bells and torch it. Controlled burn of zombie horde completed.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:47 PM on November 10, 2015

Nice!

How about using zombies for power generation. Cage with treadmill with a brain on a stick to keep them walking forward.
posted by ian1977 at 12:57 PM on November 10, 2015 [2 favorites]

The 9 Most Ridiculous Things From Last Night's 'The Walking Dead'

I read so many fan theories about how Rick was going to get up out of that jam. Most of them involved Daryl, two incorporated a time machine and more than a few seemed to suggest Rick is Kylo Ren, the villain in the new Star Wars. I didn’t read a single one that just said, “He walks out the front door and starts running.”

posted by mama casserole at 12:59 PM on November 10, 2015 [2 favorites]

This was a prime example of the quality of this show following the path of a Yoyo.

No follow up on Ricky's hand either or did I miss it?
posted by juiceCake at 2:22 PM on November 10, 2015 [2 favorites]

How about using zombies for power generation. Cage with treadmill with a brain on a stick to keep them walking forward.

That's basically how Bela Lugosi ran his Hatian sugar refinery in White Zombie.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:25 PM on November 10, 2015 [1 favorite]

This might have been covered in a previous thread, but couldn't they have found a bunch of gasoline, poured it in the quarry, and then lit it on fire. The fire would catch the clothes and skin of the zombies on fire and spread throughout the quarry. If it kept raging, it would attract more zombies to it. The fire might not destroy the zombies' brains, but it would probably make them immobile.
posted by A Bad Catholic at 3:42 PM on November 10, 2015

I thought Rick's "we don't bury murderers" bit was going to lead to them chucking the bodies over the wall.

I was incredibly disappointed that one of the arts and crafts activities of the Alexandrites wasn't building some sort of pumpkin-catapult that would now be repurposed.

THIS SHOW NEEDS MORE CATAPULTED ZOMBIES.
posted by TwoStride at 4:05 PM on November 10, 2015 [2 favorites]

The thing about "Why don't they" or "They should do this" is that it will drive you insane. Humans are endlessly adaptable, two years after the Zombie apocalypse they shouldn't still be dealing with the very same problems they did in the camp outside of Atlanta. But they are, because they have not one innovative bone in their bodies, and when they do stumble across something that works, they forget it next episode, because the writers and show-runners only know how to tell one zombie story.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:26 PM on November 10, 2015 [7 favorites]

Bad Catholic, yeah we discussed burning the quarry walkers.

Walkers can still be ambulatory while burning, so that's strike 1.

Strike 2 is, you know what kind of assholes come running at the sight of a large fire. NOT just walkers.

Strike 3 is, who has that much actual gasoline on-hand? It's been awhile since the initial breakout, and gasoline degrades over time. (I know I'm using actual science and scarcity logic, here. Why? TWD sure doesn't.)

Last of all, that's a hell of a lot of air pollution. I'm not saying it's the worst idea to burn them, but it's neither easy nor without consequences. The accelerated timeline after the first truck fell and released the herd would've also killed that plan before they could execute it.

To paraphrase Vonnegut, "Here we are, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why."

But I'm really enjoying our "choose your own logical zombie adventure!" survival theories, so thanks everyone.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 10:02 PM on November 10, 2015

Why aren't they spearing the zombies through the fence, like they did at the prison to thin out the herd?

Why didn't Maggie even consider smearing herself in zombie guts before walking out into the herd?

Did Maggie and Aaron leave a covert entrance into their compound open, without telling anyone, mere hours after an attack?

Why has Aaron not suggested sneaking out through the sewer, then getting a car with a horn to lead the herd away?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 2:28 AM on November 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

On the "why don't they just..." questions:

Y'all aren't wrong, but this is the thing about zombie fiction. Zombies, in real life, would not actually be a big threat. Even if a few slow-moving, witless corpses could actually overwhelm humanity and become an apocalypse—which is doubtful—it shouldn't be particularly difficult for the survivors to adapt to the new threat. Dig some moats; devise some tactics for drawing walkers away and/or thinning their numbers; wear some damn biteproof armor. Society might have to revert to more agrarian social and economic models, at least for a while, but it shouldn't collapse.

In other words, it's not just The Walking Dead that's wanting for realism here—it's the entire genre.

That said, some violations are less forgivable than others. If you're going to depict something in-universe as an effective tactic (zombie-gut camouflage; diverting herds with a car horn; etc.), then you should probably be consistent. Someone in a previous thread compared this to Star Trek: The Next Generation, which always had some convenient ion storm or something which rendered obvious solutions ineffective—but at least TNG had a justification, even if it was obviously a narrative contrivance. TWD doesn't even bother with that—they just hope that we don't think about it too much.

So I'm willing to accept outlandish things—faster-than-light travel is possible and commonplace; hordes of rotting, animate corpses have taken over the Earth—but you gotta at least gesture toward internal consistency.

I still like the show, though. I think it's realizing maybe 60% of its potential, and that's disappointing, but I still like it.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 8:31 AM on November 11, 2015 [3 favorites]

Whether or not a zombie catapult would be strategically useful, you can't tell me it wouldn't be at least a little bit fun.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:36 AM on November 11, 2015 [3 favorites]

Strike 3 is, who has that much actual gasoline on-hand?

Even if they did! It would be so wasteful! It's an irreplaceable resource for their ESCAPE VEHICLES.

If anything they could build a still and make some nasty 12 billion proof moonshine or something.

side note: i wonder how long would it take to recharge the average 2015 electric car with their existing solar panel setup
posted by poffin boffin at 8:45 AM on November 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

it shouldn't be particularly difficult for the survivors to adapt to the new threat.

I would like to see a show where the zombies didn't completely destroy civilization and now we have to survive with the threat of every death coming back to life.

How would we structure hospitals? Homes? How strong would doors have to become? Would we start requiring door that you can poke through? Would there be zombie police to take care of any deaths? Would all fashion become body armor? Would we keep some in zoos? Would we power our cities by putting them on treadmills? How does it effect organ donation? What kind of rights does a zombie have?
posted by LizBoBiz at 9:17 AM on November 11, 2015 [3 favorites]

What year is it in the show, anyway? Like 2010?
posted by codacorolla at 12:09 PM on November 11, 2015

According to this wiki, it's up to Day 552; assuming the outbreak starts on the premiere date, Halloween 2010, that would make it approximately May 6, 2012.

(That start date is essentially arbitrary, of course, but it's within range: The actual events of the premiere happen two months after the outbreak, so that's two months back; usually the genre has the outbreak in the not-too-distant future, though, so that's exactly one week forward.)
posted by Sys Rq at 12:54 PM on November 11, 2015

Liz, I've mentioned these before but The Girl With All The Gifts and Mira Grant's Newsflesh series both address how a re-normalized post-Zed society would function vis-a-vis heightened security and standardized medical protocols for dealing with the infected.

I quit on Newsflesh in book 2 because of the change in narrative voice, but it's got some great points to make that are actually new for the zombie genre.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 7:12 PM on November 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

LizBoBiz, that show already kind of exists: the harrowing and heartbreaking In The Flesh. Highly recommended.
posted by prismatic7 at 5:11 AM on November 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

Ooh! Thanks for the recommendations!
posted by LizBoBiz at 5:33 AM on November 12, 2015

Prismatic7, yes!!!! In The Flesh is awesome, can't believe I spaced on that.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 5:21 PM on November 12, 2015

I think an excellent episode could be made of "Coral gets a haircut". Might even turn it into a spinoff or at least a miniseries. Lord knows it'd be better than this nothing of an episode. I feel like we're back on the highway before they found the farm.

Heath and Eugene in Hair Game: The Respectening.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:10 PM on November 12, 2015 [7 favorites]

I think it is strange that Deanna wants to grow alfalfa. Are they hiding some livestock somewhere?
posted by jimw at 8:02 PM on November 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

The people just aren't haggard enough for me, for it being after the end of the world. It wasn't a problem in the early seasons, but as years and seasons go by with nothing on the horizon to suggest that society and civilization and all the progress that was made has any chance of recovering - well these people just aren't distressed enough over that. This episode was boring for the most part, and I actually like the slower episodes. But the characterizations are just way off here. Nobody should be composed. Take away all the comforts almost all of the people shown on screen in this show would have had, and it would be jarring. Do that same thing and also remove the possibility or even thought of getting that world back, and these people would be in trouble. There would be no "yeah I didn't really want to see the world as it is, two years in." They need to have a, as the term goes in some places, "come to jesus" moment with the cast and whoever is down to do some real ugly work gets to stay, and the other characters get killed off.
posted by cashman at 9:57 AM on November 15, 2015

What I don't get is why everyone inside Alexandria is dressed in dirty rags all of a sudden. Did the Wolves steal all their clean clothes? Is it Grunge Thursday?
posted by Sys Rq at 4:10 PM on November 15, 2015

The people just aren't haggard enough for me, for it being after the end of the world

I remember getting majorly piled on, on another forum, for saying that Maggie's teeth looked too much like she had them professionally whitened on a regular basis.
I'm sorry, but an unreliable supply of manual brushes and creek water aren't going to give you that Crest-Ad look.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:00 PM on November 16, 2015 [1 favorite]