2016 UEFA European Football Championship: Group Stage
June 9, 2016 10:07 AM - Season 1, Episode 1 - Subscribe

And finally, Euro 2016 is upon us. The call-up controversies and the lackluster performances and humiliating defeats on the past weeks, all come to nothing as every team starts on even footing.

The highlight is certainly the late game on June 13, as favourites Belgium plays Italy in a game that could derail either team - and Italy has some bad memories of this situation, as in 2004, after drawing their opening game against Denmark, an equaliser by Zlatan in the final minutes of the second put them in a very compromising situation, where they had to beat Bulgaria and hope Denmark and Sweden wouldn't play for a draw that would qualify both... which is exactly what happened.

This first post is above everything an experiment, as defined by the MeFi Football Club; if it gets enough activity, a post for the round 2 will be posted as soon as Portugal - Iceland ends. If it does not, I'll just add a knockout stage post once it begins.

ROUND 1 (all times local)

10 June
21:00 A: France v Romania
11 June
15:00 A: Albania v Switzerland
18:00 B: Wales v Slovakia
21:00 B: England v Russia
12 June
15:00 D: Turkey v Croatia
18:00 C: Poland v Northern Ireland
21:00 C: Germany v Ukraine
13 June
15:00 D: Spain v Czech Republic
18:00 E: Republic of Ireland v Sweden
21:00 E: Belgium v Italy
14 June
18:00 F: Austria v Hungary
21:00 F: Portugal v Iceland
posted by lmfsilva (194 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Belgium ? Favourite ?
posted by Pendragon at 10:56 AM on June 9, 2016


I've meant both are on the top 8 on betting odds - and Belgium are on the top 5 (in fact, ahead of Italy who's 7th), so I'm pretty comfortable in adding them to the group of front-runners, particularly when there's nobody that is looking unbeatable: France have a few troublesome injuries, and one bad game and the whole castle of cards comes down, Germany has been average, Spain seems to have very little quality depth and more lose-to-Georgia depth and England will probably shoot themselves in the foot in order to keep Rooney in.

They are by no means perfect or the #1 choice (that's France, until there's another spat in the locker room), but deserve to be on the favourites group.
posted by lmfsilva at 11:33 AM on June 9, 2016


Wer den Cup gewinnt ist scheißegal, nur Italian nicht noch mal...
posted by Seeba at 12:40 PM on June 9, 2016 [2 favorites]


England will probably shoot themselves in the foot in order to keep Rooney in.

Yeah, there's this. I think England would be one of the top three teams if they started Vardy along Kane (and I hate Vardy), but you know they'll stick with Rooney because they have some kind of hero worship over him.
posted by General Malaise at 1:26 PM on June 9, 2016


Wayne Rooney is English football culture taken human form to roam the Earth, of course they're committed to him.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:55 PM on June 9, 2016 [4 favorites]


Wayne Rooney is English football culture taken human form to roam the Earth, of course they're committed to him.

That's nonsense! English football culture is about past-their-best fat blokes sweating profusely and shanking passes on Hackney marshes. Wayne Rooney is nothing like tha...



...oh wait.
posted by garius at 8:33 AM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


GM: I think they might do both, Rooney behind Kane & Vardy, sucking all the life from the midfield and achieving nothing.
posted by biffa at 10:12 AM on June 10, 2016


Oh god, I didn't consider a worse idea, and that's definitely a worse idea that I can definitely seeing them try.

When was the last time Hodgson put out a 4-3-3? Ever?
posted by General Malaise at 10:47 AM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]




Very disappointed with France so far. No ability to build-up.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:20 PM on June 10, 2016


It's all down to France's Disney theme song, "Be Our Guest". Romania need a song too, something mouse-related just cos they got Rat. Work song from Cindarella? I dunno. Still that penalty was well taken.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:31 PM on June 10, 2016


Thinking about it, if Romania draw this (or win), their song should be "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes," sung by the mice (from Cindarella). Ooh free kick!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:43 PM on June 10, 2016


Oh Dragos, how did you miss that?
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:44 PM on June 10, 2016


Sorry for the lack of diacritics, by the way. Especially sorry to Rat. Sorry Rat!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:45 PM on June 10, 2016


Oh nice goal France!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:49 PM on June 10, 2016


I got Romania in the office sweepstakes, so not super happy about that. But great goal, no stopping that!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:51 PM on June 10, 2016


Payet saved a poor showing by France.

Amusing bit of the day for Blackadder fans: the local announcers say Hoban with a french accent. And Rat passed to him.

Rat Hoban.
posted by lmfsilva at 2:09 PM on June 10, 2016


Yeah not Les Bleues' finest 90+3 minutes, but a win's a win I guess. Romania will be upset they got nothing from that except a new Disney theme song. But they did get to see Payet's goal, which was a corker.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:24 PM on June 10, 2016


Holy crap, Payet was great the whole game. A totally deserved beauty goal at the end. But agreed that France was quite shaky otherwise.

Also - David Guetta ?!?!?!? I'm sorry France, but this might just be the worst opening ceremony I've seen in my life.
posted by sapagan at 2:26 PM on June 10, 2016


Ok I was at work and it was way busy, so only saw a bit of the second half, and then was out delivering again. Saw the first couple of goals and the soft penalty (stupid Evra) but missed the winner - highlights on the BBC later though.

From what I saw: France not quite there yet, but when it worked it was awesome. Romania good and will be disappointed to lose to be honest. Can see both of these 2 teams going through, although it is hard not to go through!

Had to watch on tablet as the tv has a browser, and when I finally managed to get it to the watch live page it said adobe flash was out of date, so I clicked update, and the adobe site said it was unavailable for the device/OS! Took forever moving the pointer with the remote control as well, thought I'd get RSI from pressing the arrow buttons so damn much. Stupid lousy technology.

And when I came home ITV made me sign up to watch and then it didn't work either. Lousy, totally lousy.

I added a few links to the le Rendez-vous post on Mefi, mainly daft stuff but there is also info on the rule changes for this tournament, in case anyone is interested.
posted by marienbad at 2:46 PM on June 10, 2016


That home made Panini (wait, that's something else) is a thing of beauty that deserved it's own FPP.
posted by lmfsilva at 3:21 PM on June 10, 2016


I only saw part of the second half on re-broadcast.

I saw some nervousness on the part of the French side, I saw Romania play competent (if slightly goonish) football, I saw some crap refereeing, and then HOLY SHIT THAT PAYET GOAL!

It's going to be rough when the goal of the tournament gets scored on the first night.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:29 PM on June 10, 2016


I think Romania played a very apt game whereas France looked stressed and uninspired. Awesome goal by Payet. Seconded on David Guetta, this guy should return to Ibiza.
posted by nims at 5:16 AM on June 11, 2016


but you know they'll stick with Rooney because they have some kind of hero worship over him.
posted by General Malaise

Wayne Rooney is English football culture taken human form to roam the Earth, of course they're committed to him.
posted by Bulgaroktonos

This is total and utter rubbish and shows that neither of you have a clue what you are talking about. Most people didn't want rooney to go, (scroll down, click show comments, sort by top rated - see how many upvotes all those "Rooney is shit" comments got? The downvotes are from the die hard manure fans most likely, or idiots.) Honestly, no-one wanted Rooney to go to the Euros as he has done nothing at a tournament since 2004, and we all know this. Also he has not had a great season.

Footy fans in the UK get a bad rap but we ain't stupid.
posted by marienbad at 5:30 AM on June 11, 2016


I missed most of the first half but Switzerland are 1-0 up against Albania. Looks like it will be difficult for Albania to get back into this. A draw here is not going to be good for either team after last nights result.

The second half has just started.
posted by marienbad at 7:06 AM on June 11, 2016


Ok, from what I saw if the end of the first half, Albania have stepped it up a bit. Looks like their manager knows they need a result and has had words! And they seem to have been the right words.

Edit: also Albania are down to 10 since the first half.
posted by marienbad at 7:10 AM on June 11, 2016


Time running out for Albania, they have given it a go, Switzerland have been too slow moving the ball up the park - they are against ten, and by the time they are around the Albanian box the Albanians are back in numbers.

Speed it up, Switzerland, or Albania might just get a sucker-punch in!
posted by marienbad at 7:31 AM on June 11, 2016


Albania have a very good shout for a penalty, and then miss from close range! Should have buried that! Neither of these teams will be worrying France or Romania.
posted by marienbad at 7:46 AM on June 11, 2016


All over, Switzerland 1 - 0 Albania. Coming up soon, Wales/Slovakia (but I will be at work so unablke to comment much.)
posted by marienbad at 7:52 AM on June 11, 2016


Wales playing 5-3-2. Interesting formation, hopefully Bale will be allowed to roam freely. Good luck to them.
posted by marienbad at 8:23 AM on June 11, 2016


Given the Slovakian National Team's logo is pretty much the Elder Sign, I wouldn't mention their Look.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:36 AM on June 11, 2016


Sterling-Kane-Lallana as strikers for England, Rooney plays as a midfielder. Did they already play in that configuration?
posted by nims at 11:39 AM on June 11, 2016


My TV seems to be experiencing static in the region of the England team shirt.
posted by biffa at 11:47 AM on June 11, 2016


I think it's an interesting experiment on Hodgson's part to have journeyman centre-back Wayne Rooney play so far up front.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:58 AM on June 11, 2016


Did they already play in that configuration?

Always best to experiment in the first game of a major championship.
No, not always, the other thing.
posted by fullerine at 12:13 PM on June 11, 2016


At this point, I think England is experimenting with the number of different ways they can shoot just past the net,
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:24 PM on June 11, 2016


Harry Kane is a liability right now.
posted by nims at 12:34 PM on June 11, 2016


One of these sides can't defend, the other can't attack.


I will leave which is which as an exercise for the viewer.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:52 PM on June 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


Kane seemed invisible for much of the game, and at the end Russia's backs had all the time in the world to lump the ball forward. If only there were a tireless runner with a ruthless finish on the bench...
posted by idb at 1:54 PM on June 11, 2016


For once can't blame Rooney. Kane was absent, Sterling was... some sort of word for something so bad that doesn't exist yet.


It seems russian fans are attacking english fans in the stands.
posted by lmfsilva at 2:14 PM on June 11, 2016


Wales v Slovakia has been the only actually good game of football so far this tournament.
posted by Dysk at 2:25 PM on June 11, 2016


Sterling has got some amazing pace.


Shame about...well, the other things.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:26 PM on June 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


He's got really good positioning on the attack especially as well. He just can't handle a ball, let alone pass.
posted by Dysk at 2:58 PM on June 11, 2016


Just watched the highlights of the England game on the BBC - why can't Hodgson see when things need changing? Shoulda taken Kane off and brought Vardy on - how many chances should you get and miss before the manager takes you off?

Anyone see the charging of England fans by the Russians? How did that happen?

Well done Wales, a good game, and both teams looked good, to be fair - will be tough for England against both of them - currently difficult to predict the winner of this group!
posted by marienbad at 3:03 PM on June 11, 2016


Can anyone explain why Kane performed corner kicks?
posted by nims at 3:30 PM on June 11, 2016


No. It might make sense if he were any good at them, but they were pretty universally crap.
posted by idb at 3:38 PM on June 11, 2016


Anyone see the charging of England fans by the Russians? How did that happen?

No police, no fan segregation, no barriers, lots of tension from previous days.
posted by lmfsilva at 3:40 PM on June 11, 2016


why can't Hodgson see when things need changing?

Because the thing that needs changing most of all is Hodgson? His only qualification for the job was that he isn't foreign.
posted by biffa at 4:00 PM on June 11, 2016


Also, reports of fights breaking out in Nice between Northern Irish and Polish fans. Either this chills down a bit, or it's Euro 92 all over again.
posted by lmfsilva at 4:09 PM on June 11, 2016


I think Hodgson has fallen into the same trap that other England managers have fallen into in the past 40 years or so: letting the footballing press dictate your initial selection (because if you try something different and lose, they will absolutely crucify you).

So- start Kane, because he's the "nice" Jamie Vardy, and because Spurs should have won the league this year (better stats, don't you know), and because he should be comfortable playing in front of Dele Alli and Danny Rose; and start Rooney, because...well, he's Rooney.

This is the same reason that Lampard and Gerrard were started alongside each other so often, even though they could barely keep themselves from running into each other most of the time.

Of course, the Catch-22 is that, if you lose, the English footballing press will crucify you no matter whose advice you take, which might explain why Hodgson was one of the few people who'd take the job in the first place.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:25 PM on June 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


No police, no fan segregation, no barriers, lots of tension from previous days.

Can you provide your sources?
posted by nims at 4:29 PM on June 11, 2016




Sterling has got some amazing pace.
Shame about...well, the other things.

As as Liverpool fan, I take some glee in Sterling being found out as a Suarez Delivery System.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:17 PM on June 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm curious to see how and if Sterling develops under Guardiola. I think he's a good player who does a number of the little things well, but who has not been playing very well. With the right coaching, he could be really good. Shame he didn't stick around for Klopp. To some extent I think he's been picked for England on reputation rather than performance this season.

Speaking of which, Lallana (and Allen for that matter) seem to have really perked up recently.

Dier, ignoring the goal, is really impressive.
posted by idb at 7:25 PM on June 11, 2016


(All times BST) Today it is Turkey v Croatia at 2, Poland v N. Ireland at 5, and Germany v Ukraine at 8.

Any predictions anyone? Croatia to beat Turkey, Poland to beat N. Ireland, and who is going to bet against the Germans?
posted by marienbad at 5:13 AM on June 12, 2016


Russia Faces UEFA probe after violence at match.

It looks like the Russians have come just to cause trouble, as they did in 2012.
posted by marienbad at 5:19 AM on June 12, 2016


The fracas was after the game, so they came to watch some football as well at least, not just cause trouble.
posted by Dysk at 5:28 AM on June 12, 2016




An interesting stat: Wales is the first Home Nations country to win their first Euro game. Not debut, first game, as England has an interesting story with slow starts (and often, even slower finishes).

Croatia fell very short of their expectations up front but managed to hold on that lead thank to that Modric screamer. Those games where a team crushes it on offense but fail to convert are always at risk from an equalizer at the final minutes, as Turkey had a couple of chances to make that happen.

Corluka wins the 2016 Terry Butcher Award (and football would do well to consider temporary blood replacements).
posted by lmfsilva at 8:19 AM on June 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


Nice compilation of Modric in all of that game here, while it lasts. (Douglas Gordon's Zidane it ain't, but it does give you a sense of how one player moves a game.)
posted by progosk at 10:09 AM on June 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


Looking at Northern Ireland play in the first half, you kind of realise how bad the worst thirds thing is: a team could advance with two ties and a defeat. There's no incentive to even try to win these games. Just try to draw twice using a bus, and hope at least two teams get just one point, or get completely hammered in their defeat.
posted by lmfsilva at 10:21 AM on June 12, 2016


Germany Ukraine has got off to a good start - Ukraine look ready to have a good go here.
posted by marienbad at 12:07 PM on June 12, 2016


ok, Ukraine need to stop giving the ball away so cheaply, and they seem to be showing the Germans too much respect - need to step it up a bit.
posted by marienbad at 12:18 PM on June 12, 2016


1-0 to Germany - how often have the Germans lost having taken the lead? Not often at a major tournament I would guess.
posted by marienbad at 12:21 PM on June 12, 2016


Much better by the Ukraine, unlucky not to be level (stupid to step offside)
posted by marienbad at 12:46 PM on June 12, 2016


BBC: Germany have won 18 of their last 19 games when they have been leading at half-time. Pressure, Ukraine, pressure!
posted by marienbad at 1:09 PM on June 12, 2016


Fantastic goal on the break by Germany. That's how you do it, England!
posted by marienbad at 1:50 PM on June 12, 2016


Pretty lackluster Mannschaft tonight, though.
posted by progosk at 1:53 PM on June 12, 2016


No speed. Two years ago, they improved greatly when Lahm was moved from the midfield back to the defense, and that helped them a lot. I don't think they have a hidden stash of speed around this time.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:56 PM on June 12, 2016


Yeah, not the best performance by Germany, but they still won 2-0 - this is something they can do - win when not playing well. Ukraine should have done better and pressed them more.
posted by marienbad at 1:58 PM on June 12, 2016


Germany looked kind of rough out there. Boateng pretty much kept them in it.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:03 PM on June 12, 2016


Still the only team to win by two so far.
posted by brokkr at 12:48 AM on June 13, 2016 [1 favorite]




Spain's game against the Czech Republic almost went the other way, despite them completely dominating both territory and possession. It's such a joy to watch them play, but their finishing isn't quite up to the standard of the rest of their game, and they're very vulnerable to a counterattack from a team that can close and slow down their attack.
posted by Dysk at 8:04 AM on June 13, 2016


This short passing game style needs players to eventually push the ball forward and create gaps in the defense. Not excusing the sorry performance by Morata, but it's harder for everyone when the defense is all well positioned because of cookie-cutter offensive moves.
I've watched Porto do exactly that for a season and half. There was a lot of difference when Oliver Torres played last season (and when he didn't due to injury) and this season when he returned to Atletico.
posted by lmfsilva at 8:46 AM on June 13, 2016


Man I just felt Spain needed a decent striker and to hoof it long for a change! And they almost got sucker punched, but they got there in the end. I think teams are getting too clued up to the way they play, and might find it tricky at the business end of the tournament (watch them win the damn thing now.)

Ireland Sweden was a decent game, although Sweden only seemed to wake up after Ireland scored.

Belgium Italy about to start, this is a difficult one to call - no matter how highly rated Belgium are, Italy know how to progress in tournaments. Anyone care to make a prediction for this game? Anyone have any comments about who might get where from what we've seen so far?
posted by marienbad at 11:48 AM on June 13, 2016


Also, anyone here for the game? Are we allowed to live blog them over here? I am not sure how it is supposed to work on fanfare.
posted by marienbad at 11:50 AM on June 13, 2016


Go wild. I think this had enough participation to justify a round 2 post late tomorrow or so, so there's no biggie if it gets a bit cluttered.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:01 PM on June 13, 2016


Italy so far looking the anti-Spain, with lots of long passes and vertical speed.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:07 PM on June 13, 2016


Yeah, was thinking about a Round 2 post, but not sure of the etiquette of making it! Just back from work but have stuff to do so watching and doing stuff at the same time (finished work early as it was quiet! Missed the first few minutes of the game as driving home.)
posted by marienbad at 12:13 PM on June 13, 2016


I want to see Belgium do well at the expense of Italy.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:31 PM on June 13, 2016


gooool!
posted by progosk at 12:34 PM on June 13, 2016


What a sublime pass and a great, well taken goal! The World's Number 1 are shot down!
posted by marienbad at 12:34 PM on June 13, 2016


That long pass was so good it even gave Conte a nosebleed. Italy up by one.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:35 PM on June 13, 2016


Nice idea from the second corner, and should be 2 up now!! Wow, what a miss.
posted by marienbad at 12:37 PM on June 13, 2016


What do people think, is the pressure getting to Belgium, or is the lack of pressure on Italy helping them?
posted by marienbad at 12:38 PM on June 13, 2016


I think the latter. The theatrics are a little... Who am I kidding
posted by From Bklyn at 12:41 PM on June 13, 2016


Nice break by Italy! And then by Belgium!
posted by marienbad at 12:47 PM on June 13, 2016


Italy overcame their fear (mostly). Referee's a bit steel-eyed... Belgium seemed a bit lost for a plan.
posted by progosk at 12:51 PM on June 13, 2016


That's it in a nutshell - Belgium should have at least turned that break into a shot on goal, instead they stopped for what?
There's a level of craftiness the older players have and the Italians are, I believe, an older team.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:52 PM on June 13, 2016


But nerves are fraying a bit early...
posted by progosk at 12:54 PM on June 13, 2016


LmfSilva - you should be looking forwards to Portugal's first game tomorrow, vs Iceland!
posted by marienbad at 12:59 PM on June 13, 2016


I'm surely looking forward for this one, and rooting for Iceland of course.
posted by nims at 1:01 PM on June 13, 2016


Lawro: "Belgium have some fantastic individual players but I am still not totally convinced yet that they will come together as effectively as a team." (Lawro's predictions for first round games.)
posted by marienbad at 1:04 PM on June 13, 2016


Italy are way the better team over the first 50 minutes, and I have to agree: Belguim don't seem to have a plan A. Hazard needs to learn when to pass the ball!

Great challenge in the box there though!

And a great break and Lukaku should have got that on target!
posted by marienbad at 1:11 PM on June 13, 2016


Wow! Italy could be 3 or 4 up here by now!
posted by marienbad at 1:12 PM on June 13, 2016


bad luck for Lukaku, and a miracle from Courtois
posted by progosk at 1:12 PM on June 13, 2016


Belgium is trying to play at an unreasonable pace, and that's isn't doing their midfield any favours. Lots of poor decisions trying to get a path to goal too quickly.


LmfSilva - you should be looking forwards to Portugal's first game tomorrow, vs Iceland!
Heh. Quaresma is out, the midfield is still a bit iffy, and the defense scares me. I don't think there will be any challenge in the group stage, but not going much further. Another summer of hate-watching them.


Terrible miss by Lukaku now.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:12 PM on June 13, 2016


Ouch!
posted by From Bklyn at 1:14 PM on June 13, 2016


Italy on the defensive playing the classic Italian flat back 8.
posted by marienbad at 1:14 PM on June 13, 2016


Game of the tournament so far.
posted by marienbad at 1:15 PM on June 13, 2016


Felleini commits a foul - what a surprise.
posted by marienbad at 1:16 PM on June 13, 2016


Great then awful - such a poor cross. Can anyone actually see Belgium scoring here?
posted by marienbad at 1:21 PM on June 13, 2016


No - they really aren't hanging together as a team very well.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:22 PM on June 13, 2016


Chielini commits a foul - what a surprise.
posted by marienbad at 1:23 PM on June 13, 2016


Why did Hazard try to shoot there when he could have played it wide?
posted by marienbad at 1:27 PM on June 13, 2016


Not a surprising substitution, I'm a Lukaku fan but he has been poor tonight, and not helped by the lack of service from midfield.
posted by marienbad at 1:31 PM on June 13, 2016


Italians know when to commit a professional foul huh?
posted by marienbad at 1:32 PM on June 13, 2016


This is a touch excessive, the penalties.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:39 PM on June 13, 2016


Origi trapped by his haircut.
posted by nims at 1:40 PM on June 13, 2016


Italy panicking a bit now!
posted by marienbad at 1:41 PM on June 13, 2016


another Courtois miracle...
posted by progosk at 1:42 PM on June 13, 2016


And then a fantastic break after a very poor mistake by Belgium. Great save!
posted by marienbad at 1:42 PM on June 13, 2016


Italy to score on the break in the third minute of added time!
posted by marienbad at 1:46 PM on June 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh my god, how did they not score there!
posted by marienbad at 1:47 PM on June 13, 2016


Belgium are just not winning.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:47 PM on June 13, 2016


Gooooool!!!
posted by progosk at 1:50 PM on June 13, 2016


Marienbad called it
posted by progosk at 1:51 PM on June 13, 2016


Called it, just not on the break! Made Belgium look amateur there.
posted by marienbad at 1:51 PM on June 13, 2016


All over, well won by Italy. Belgium with a lot of work to do to improve.
posted by marienbad at 1:52 PM on June 13, 2016


None more italian than this goal.

Poor game by Belgium. Mixture of trying to play fast and always having to look for team mates.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:55 PM on June 13, 2016


Conte was furious with the referee (even Buffon called him out). Man of the match? RAI is all for Bonucci.
posted by progosk at 1:57 PM on June 13, 2016


As my kiddos being fussbudgets tonight meant that I had to follow along on the guardian and here* via my creaky phone, I now have a screenshot of the Grauniad's typo wherein the last goal was scored by Pallè. *snigger*

* because mamma yells at the screen when the footie is on
posted by romakimmy at 2:06 PM on June 13, 2016


As a romanista household, weird to see De Rossi and Nainggolan on opposite sides. Good thing neither were really sparking tonight.
posted by progosk at 2:13 PM on June 13, 2016


So, only Germany and Italy two up, for now. Doth this bode?
posted by progosk at 2:15 PM on June 13, 2016


Shhh porta iella ;)
posted by romakimmy at 2:17 PM on June 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


It is interesting, as you say, progosk, that only those 2 teams have won by 2 clear goals. None of the other teams has looked convincing, and I feel it is a wide open tournament, but those 2 have laid down a marker, so to speak.
posted by marienbad at 2:28 PM on June 13, 2016


Well, it's just the first match, Belgium was in full attack mode at the end of the second half, they could have reach the draw. In the same way Ukraine was not that far away from Germany.
posted by nims at 2:35 PM on June 13, 2016


Wilmots should be sacked.
You could put Courtois, Hazard and De Bruyne into any team in this tournament and top your group.
The greatest waste of talent I have ever seen.
posted by fullerine at 2:59 PM on June 13, 2016


oh right fanfare is a thing...so how's about that boateng clearance, eh?
posted by juv3nal at 3:51 PM on June 13, 2016


29 Russia "fans" deported from France.

Any predictions for todays games? Hopefully LMFsilva will be a happy bunny later!
posted by marienbad at 3:26 AM on June 14, 2016


As it's nation vs nation, for us Europeans inevitably politics casts its shadow, so if Austria and Hungary both get stuck frustrated and scoreless, there'd be some poetic justice in that. And for the last fixture of the round... who doesn't love an exotic underdog? (Sorry, lmfsilva...)
posted by progosk at 3:59 AM on June 14, 2016


Some great games, and some great goals! Looking forward to today's matches, but before that - and as I've been thinking about it a lot - I'll do a definitive one-to-one mapping of Euro 2016 teams and songs from Disney films!!!

France - Be Our Guest, from Beauty and the Beast. Because they're the hosts, and they can sing, they can dance ("after all Miss, this is France!"). Also they do a pretty good French accent, just like that candelabra. Allez Les Bleus!

Germany - I Just Can't Wait to be King, from The Lion King. Because they're Germany, and they win a lot of these kind of things to be honest. Auf geht's Deutschland!

Spain - Mine, Mine, Mine!, from Pocahontas. Because they've won three major championships (Euro 2008, 2010 World Cup, Euro 2012) in a row. ¡Somos la Roja!

Wales - For the First Time in Forever, from Frozen. Because it's Wales' first ever European Championship, and also they all have lovely singing voices so the high notes won't be a problem. Cymru am byth!

England - Jolly Holiday, from Mary Poppins. Because "it's a jolly holiday with England! England makes your heart so light! When the day is gray and ordinary, England makes the sun shine bright!" Or ... Elimination: Lack of Education from the Fox and the Hound. Not sure about that but go England!

Romania - A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, from Cindarella - the version sung by the mice. Because Romainia's capitain is Răzvan Raț - geddit? And they are dreaming of victory. O echipă, trei culori şi milioane de inimi care bat pentru România!

Sweden - Gaston, from Beauty and the Beast. Because no-one's slick like Zlatan, no-one's quick like Zlatan, no-one scores from an overhead kick like Zlatan! He told me that himself. Tillsammans för Zlatan! No wait - "Tillsammans för Sverige". Sorry.

Portugal - Man or Muppet, from The Muppets (2011). Because some people think Ronaldo hasn't performed well enough at major championships, and this song would be suited to any momentary self-doubt that he may experience. But mainly because it's fun to think of him sitting at a piano, singing this song to himself, and then a muppet version of Cristiano Ronaldo turns up. No disrespect intended to CR7, who is top quality. His muppet would be great too. Um passado de glória. Um futuro de Vitória!

Iceland - Do You Want to Build a Snowman?, from Frozen. Because Iceland is, it is rumoured, lightly-to-moderately icy. Áfram Ísland!

Northern Ireland - Thomas O'Malley, from the Aristocats. Because, you know, "O'Malley" is, like, an Irish name? Sure, that'll do. Dare to dream, Northern Ireland!

Republic of Ireland - Old Father William, from Alice in Wonderland. Just because Ireland have the oldest squad in the tournament, and I'm running out of good reasons - or even shit reasons - to match a team to a song. This is MUCH more difficult than I thought it would be when I started. Éirinn go Brách!

Croatia - Dalmatian Plantation, from 101 Dalmatians. Because ... ah ... it's their coast? Nova vatra, staro mjesto, ista nada!

Belgium - The Horribly Hazardous Heffalumps!, from Pooh's Heffalump Movie. Because Eden Hazard is Hazardous, and ... well that's about it, really. 1 Team – 1 Ambitie!

Russia - Bare Necessities, from The Jungle Book. Because Russia's symbolic animal is the Bear, and this one is sung by a Bear. No, I don't have anything better to do. Один за всех и все за одного!

Switzerland - The Climb, from Hannah Montana: The Movie. Because they have a mountain, or something. Hop Suisse! Hopp Schwiiz! Forza Svizzera!

Slovakia - Breakaway, from The Princess Diaries 2. Because they broke away from Czechoslovakia in 1993 and ... OK, sure. Jeden národ, jedno srdce, jeden sen!

Italy - Bella Notte, from Lady and the Tramp. Because Spaghetti. Look - I just don't care any more. Forza Azzurri!

Albania - For the First Time in Forever (Reprise), from Frozen. Because Albania are at their first major tournament, but I chose this song for Wales first. Oh fuck off. O Sa Mirë Me Qenë Shqiptar!

Austria - Hakuna Matata, from The Lion King. Because I don't give a shit. Immer wieder Österreich!

Czech Republic - You'll Be In My Heart, from Tarzan. Because Phil Collins lives in Switzerland. But they already have a song, so fuck it. Jeden tým = Jeden cíl!

Poland - Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, from Song of the South. Because whatever. Łączy nas piłka!

Hungary - Under the Sea, from The Little Mermaid. Because Hungary is a Caribbean island that sank into the ocean and is now peopled exclusively by singing lobsters. Yeah, look it up. Ria Ria Hungária!

Ukraine - Friend Like Me from Aladdin. Because Ukraine flies around on a magic carpet doing hyperactive comedy impressions. And I don't have any flying fucks to give anymore. Мрія народжує переможців!

Turkey - Let it Go, from Frozen. Because ... ah ... well ... you know why? Because I just fucking LIKE Let it Go, that's why. So just LET IT GO. Christ knows I didn't. Biz Bitti Demeden Bitmez!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 4:25 AM on June 14, 2016 [5 favorites]


Hopefully LMFsilva will be a happy bunny later!
Well, if Portugal wins as a team and without the Ronaldo/Sanches hype train, I'd be happy. Otherwise, it's a few more days of hearing inane talk about them.
posted by lmfsilva at 6:57 AM on June 14, 2016


"Turkey - Let it Go, from Frozen" - was hoping for a frozen Turkey gag, you have let me down, quidnunc kid!

Russia given suspended disqualification.
posted by marienbad at 7:12 AM on June 14, 2016


was hoping for a frozen Turkey gag, you have let me down, quidnunc kid!

*facepalm* ... well, won't be the last time, I fear! ;-)
posted by the quidnunc kid at 7:32 AM on June 14, 2016


Austria Hungary is an interesting fixture - two teams who, a long time ago (particularly in the case of Austria) were footballing powerhouses, but are nowhere near their former glories now.

Iceland Portugal - No matter how badly Portugal play, can anyone see them losing here? Should be a nice easy victory.
posted by marienbad at 8:22 AM on June 14, 2016


Also - does anyone know ericko via Facebook? his account is disabled and I am missing his chat on these football threads. Also also, would the mods and PTB allow a Round 2 FPP over on metafilter, to alert people to the ongoing discussions here? I am sure there were more people involved in this before, but maybe that's because it was the World Cup and not the Euros.
posted by marienbad at 8:24 AM on June 14, 2016


I am sure there were more people involved in this before

I think in the World Cup we had a lot more fun play-by-play commentary after the group stages, didn't we (or do I remember wrong)? The early group matches come thick and fast, hence it's a little more tricky to commit. Also the 2014 timezone was slightly more pro-American. Nevertheless I wish - nay, demand! - that languagehat (and others) appear in the knock-out rounds, even if he (and they) must keep unsociable hours to do so.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 8:41 AM on June 14, 2016


At one point in their history, these two were football powerhouses. Now, at least one of them has a shot at advancing.

I'm calling this an unofficial Mitropa Cup.
posted by lmfsilva at 9:25 AM on June 14, 2016


In just a few minutes, Austria let one in and got a player sent off while putting of pressure to score the equalizer.

And now, the finish on the counter attack was superb.


This complicates things a lot for Austria. They were likely to get at least on the thirds, but now have to win against Iceland and get points from Portugal. As close as games have been, a 2 goal defeat might prove crucial doing the tie-breaks.
posted by lmfsilva at 10:55 AM on June 14, 2016


Gotta agree, lmfsilva. Watched some of it at work, a draw would have suited both teams but Hungary ran away with it a bit. The sending off was a bit harsh.

Kinda funny to see Iceland here and Netherlands not!

15 minutes to go, lmf. Feeling nervous yet?
posted by marienbad at 11:44 AM on June 14, 2016


The two women in blue who do the "welcome to the stadium" gesture make me smile every time I see them. I always wonder how they got the job.
posted by marienbad at 12:02 PM on June 14, 2016


I was nervous only once, in the 2000 semis. Otherwise, if they win, I can make jokes, if they lose, better jokes. 2004 was incredibly fun like that.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:04 PM on June 14, 2016


Siggy should have scored there!
posted by marienbad at 12:05 PM on June 14, 2016


Very close offside decision there. And what was wrong with the keepers throw out?
posted by marienbad at 12:09 PM on June 14, 2016


Shocking defending. Portugal is still too soft on the counter - wingbacks will expose the soft center.

10% of Iceland is watching games in France, apparently.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:15 PM on June 14, 2016


I get the feeling Iceland will win this with a sly one on the break!
posted by marienbad at 12:20 PM on June 14, 2016


Wow! Should have scored for sure there.
posted by marienbad at 12:22 PM on June 14, 2016


Aldursson, nice instincts, twice.
posted by progosk at 12:29 PM on June 14, 2016


Iceland's goalkeeper is ripped.

Also, Nani is seriously unsuited to play in a 442. That was a sitter.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:29 PM on June 14, 2016


Lovely goal!
posted by marienbad at 12:33 PM on June 14, 2016


Game got boring after the goal. Both teams need adjustments for the second half - Portugal falling to create danger, Iceland to get some corners or set pieces to put the ball up in the box.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:49 PM on June 14, 2016


Iceland seem almost naive. That can't be but it really seems like it, as though every time they are tripped up or given the cleats a not little part of them is like, "Ow! Why the hell did you do that?"
posted by From Bklyn at 12:54 PM on June 14, 2016


Yeah baby Yeah !!!!
posted by nims at 1:07 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


This was dumb.

As I've been saying, soft defence.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:07 PM on June 14, 2016


Very nice.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:07 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


A beaut!
posted by progosk at 1:08 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


Am at work so making deliveries and missed the goal!
posted by marienbad at 1:16 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


mi-Spartan mi-Vikings Supporters .
posted by nims at 1:21 PM on June 14, 2016


Iceland!
posted by Seeba at 1:21 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


Portugal underestimating Iceland, in a nutshell.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:21 PM on June 14, 2016


I'm not watching live. Did Iceland stop, collaborate, and/or listen?
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:22 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


Just got home - Iceland hanging on!
posted by marienbad at 1:39 PM on June 14, 2016


CR7 denied again!
posted by progosk at 1:41 PM on June 14, 2016


A country of 330000 people, come one give it all!
posted by nims at 1:42 PM on June 14, 2016


Should have put down in the corner.
posted by marienbad at 1:42 PM on June 14, 2016


Portugal's got four gunners up front, and Iceland almost clinched it.
posted by progosk at 1:42 PM on June 14, 2016


It's impressive that Iceland's held on - the goalie gets whatever flavor ice cream he wants for dessert tonight.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:44 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


Mac bacon ice cream flavor for him. He deserves.
posted by nims at 1:47 PM on June 14, 2016


Iceland make a sub to break up the play and waste a few seconds. Portugal you are going to struggle if you continue like this - Austria and Hungary will pose sterner tests from what I saw of them today.
posted by marienbad at 1:47 PM on June 14, 2016


Awful free kick, so poor. And now a goal kick! no rush here, mate!
posted by marienbad at 1:49 PM on June 14, 2016


Please don't let CR7 score here!
posted by marienbad at 1:50 PM on June 14, 2016


What the heck was he doing handling the ball there with the ref watching him?
posted by marienbad at 1:51 PM on June 14, 2016


Well done team scientifically interesting gene pool ! I mean Iceland!
posted by From Bklyn at 1:53 PM on June 14, 2016


Minor history being made; nice to see another example of team logic holding the supertalents at bay.
posted by progosk at 1:53 PM on June 14, 2016


Congratulations, Iceland, a draw here is a real result! They will be confident facing the others in the groups as well, now. Sorry lmfsilva, hope you're not too gutted mate!
posted by marienbad at 2:00 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


yeah, lmfsilva, you didn't mention what you'd do in case of a draw...
posted by progosk at 2:08 PM on June 14, 2016


lmfsilva you have to make us laugh hard for France-Albania.
posted by nims at 2:27 PM on June 14, 2016


I'm absolutely loving this.

In the last free kick (the handball) I was saying I'd let Raphael kick that instead with his left because if the ball was on goal, Biggunsón at goal was all-in for the Ronaldo FK, and at that range, Ronaldo doesn't have the least bending ability to go around the wall anyway (he's no FK specialist, regardless of what some people say - he's a guy with a thundering shot who can hit it from 30 yards out, but closer there are players who are far better because they can hit all sorts of angles with less power but a lot more swerve). As I finish saying this, he hits the flattest low shot imaginable.

Can't fault Nani much - I don't think he has the required abilities to play as a free-roaming striker, but inside his limitations, he played decently, particularly when so much of the attacking strategy seemed to be kicking high balls.
Sanches should start (although I think at this point in his career, he might get sent off far more quickly than be decisive) and Moutinho is playing far too slowly for a team that needs speed. João Mário has a brick for a left foot, and was constantly stopping the flow of the game to get in position to kick it with the right... while playing on the left.

Also, ugh. Small skirmishes reported in Lille between Russian and English/Welsh fans.
posted by lmfsilva at 2:30 PM on June 14, 2016


France are going to slaughter Albania - it will be the backlash after the angst over their poor performance against Romania
posted by marienbad at 2:30 PM on June 14, 2016


After a lifetime of being trained for national football disappointment, this Icelander's not sure how to handle these feelings of national football joy. Never before have I wanted to own a car just so that I could drive it in circles around a water fountain, honking the car horn continuously. Heck, I've never wanted to own a car. But I do right now. With a very loud horn.
posted by Kattullus at 2:32 PM on June 14, 2016 [7 favorites]


Big ups to Iceland from this Dane. It's always entertaining to see Cronaldo denied.
posted by brokkr at 2:35 PM on June 14, 2016 [3 favorites]


Such a sour-puss. Sorry CR, you got iced.
posted by progosk at 2:43 PM on June 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


So tomorrow it is Russia Slovakia in the "Battle of the East," France Albania in the "Slaughter of the Innocents" and Romania Switzerland in the "Battle of East meets tax-avoider heaven."
posted by marienbad at 3:10 PM on June 14, 2016


Any predictions anyone? And have you got a post ready to rock the FP of Fanfare and Mefi, LMF? or are you too busy crying into your tapas ;)
posted by marienbad at 3:11 PM on June 14, 2016


Iceland Portugal - No matter how badly Portugal play, can anyone see them losing here? Should be a nice easy victory.
posted by marienbad at 4:22 PM

God whoever posted that must be such a dumbass!
posted by marienbad at 3:12 PM on June 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


Just posted it.

Had something written up before the game, but forgot to save it and had to start over.
posted by lmfsilva at 3:15 PM on June 14, 2016


Oh, and as I've said, Portugal has the nasty habit of playing to the level of the opponent. Used to be a team that had no problem despatching lesser teams, but ultimately lost to every legitimately good team without much of a fight (sometimes that meant being 3rd on qualifying and out of the big stage).

For the past 15 years or so, we've turned into a team that can play with the best eye to eye and win a fair number of times, but inexplicably drop points against opponents most would agree a are on a below level tallentwise. I have my own theories on this - mostly around going directly from an underdog mentality to plain arrogance, which usually doesn't work very well against well organised teams able to lockdown, or, well, teams that can lash out a beating. This is a cultural problem that won't go away until the national team actually misses a competition after not being able to pull a 87th minute winner against Israel from a corner and claim they wanted it more or something trite like that.
posted by lmfsilva at 6:44 PM on June 14, 2016


... And right on cue to prove me right, noticed Ronaldo had a rant about Iceland playing long ball and with a bus on defense.

Huge entitlement issues with the national team. Beaten fairly by a team with a lot of players from secondary leagues, and yet, it's not their own fault. It's always bad luck and the opponents refusing to let them cruise by and display their newest haircuts and custom boots.

*does wanking motion*
posted by lmfsilva at 10:06 PM on June 14, 2016 [2 favorites]


U MAD BRO?
posted by brokkr at 1:24 AM on June 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


Yeah, the Ronaldo rant is pathetic, for someone with so much talent and wealth he really is a mardy bastard. Seeing that makes me hope Portugal lose their next game (sorry lmf!) because he should just man up and accept it. Also, in the first half, Iceland played, it wasn't all park the bus.
posted by marienbad at 3:30 AM on June 15, 2016


Holy cow- 2-1 for Slovakia! Russia just scored but it was looking grim.
posted by From Bklyn at 7:38 AM on June 15, 2016


New euros thread: http://fanfare.metafilter.com/7137/2016-UEFA-European-Football-Championship-Group-Stage-Round-2
posted by marienbad at 9:21 AM on June 15, 2016


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