Special Event: Blaseball Season 14
March 15, 2021 8:09 AM - Subscribe

Season 14 is now underway! Play ball!

Daylight Saving Time is stupid! I'm still pushing through my first cup of tea! Here's the Season 13 thread! I have nothing further at this time!
posted by cortex (15 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
The Commissioner is doing a great job!
posted by nubs at 10:08 AM on March 15, 2021

Another loss for the Charleston Shoe Thieves family: long-time player Sebastian "Pine" Woodman was incinerated overnight. Rest In Violence, Seb. He was replaced by newcomer Beckett Bluesky who has apparently in turn been swept Elsewhere by a flood and is currently still MIA.

Woodman, a static but somehow also mobile and skillful life-size wooden statue, replaced brief shining star Atlas Jonbois (who was big and strong and my friend) who in turn played only very briefly after replacing an incinerated original Shoe Thief, Sebastian Townsend. While there's no documentary footage of the event, the rumor is that founding Shoe Thief hitter Esme Ramsey carved Woodman's form from a raw log with their teeth as an expression of grief over the losses of first Townsend and then Jonbois.

Besides being a consistent contributor to the team's play, Woodman was also well-liked among his fellow players for his uncanny and hilarious vocal impersonations of the tortured, trapped soul of the incinerated Sebastian Townsend. "Please, please, release me from this wooden prison", Woodman would often joke, his blank, unchanging wooden face a subtle wink to his audience.
posted by cortex at 8:19 AM on March 16, 2021 [1 favorite]

This is an interesting season. 2-week siesta (as part of the new "3 on, 2 off" schedule) coming up, the new snacks have thrown the betting meta entirely out of whack (and better yet, it hasn't re-coalesced as quickly this time), Wills are giving teams more control (but is that what they really want?)...

For the Garages in particular it's the roughest one we've had in a while. We expected our star pitcher-turned-batter astral-armed godslayer Goodwin Morin to get picked (especially with how well "Pickle Crimes" paid out last season), and the Lift are about as good as we could have hoped for her to land; but losing more of our backbone to the Tigers & getting up to almost as many pitchers as the Tacos have players has prompted some soul-searching since we can't rely on "kinda lore-heavy, kinda competitive, they don't need to conflict too hard" like we used to.

On the upside, we've got a new mainline album out, #14, and it's a banger.
posted by CrystalDave at 9:40 AM on March 16, 2021

Well, something's up as we go into the early siesta
posted by nubs at 10:45 AM on March 16, 2021

Yeah, Squid came back with a chef hat on and Coin has peaced out? Curious.

The core Shoe Thieves fandom on the discord has turned, over the last couple seasons, to a fairly robust embrace of being a badly losing team, which we certainly accomplished last season and have a good start on this season as well. Getting to Party Time as quickly as possible certainly does help with ambient buffs as our players have more chances to Party, and we might scrape up some pity bonuses while we're at it.
posted by cortex at 11:15 AM on March 16, 2021

I've happened upon something that works for me. I always have money for betting and votes. I just wish I had some idea about how many votes it takes to actually make a contribution.
posted by ob1quixote at 11:39 AM on March 16, 2021

With things which use votes (Elections, so far), it's on a raffle system, which both means you're always contributing and makes it harder to say in a defined way? They seem to be keen on adding additional coin sinks so whales from early seasons are encouraged to spend their coins in additional ways (being mindful of Eat the Rich) & so there's additional ways to earn coins.

Naturally, with it being a raffle, you get statistically-unlikely (but surprisingly frequent given how many items there are) results. These are what's known as "Wimdy", after an early election where the Dale won Evil Wind Sprints with 0% (rounded) of the vote.
posted by CrystalDave at 12:22 PM on March 16, 2021

I've built myself around passive income mostly, and am curious about how the Breakfast works; I've invested a bit and now won't be paying attention for a while.
posted by nubs at 1:36 PM on March 16, 2021

What's up with players with missing letters in their names?
posted by Rinku at 11:17 AM on March 18, 2021

I think that happens sometimes when they come back from Elsewhere after being swept away in a Flood, though I'm not entirely clear on that.
posted by cortex at 1:22 PM on March 18, 2021

Hey, even with MVP York Silk getting incinerated late in the Season, the Moist Talkers managed to win the championship. Huzzah!
posted by nubs at 6:49 PM on March 21, 2021

Nicely done!

And well-timed for the 2-week siesta, I'm pretty sure between the wimdy double-necromancy & all the discourse about people 'attack fluting' it's going to be a less-chill-than-usual siesta. Which is to say if they were keeping on "run until exhaustion" mode we'd be able to see the nuclear glow from neighboring social media sites.
posted by CrystalDave at 7:23 PM on March 21, 2021

Hot off the presses, the new Garages EP: UNDEFINED
posted by CrystalDave at 3:14 PM on April 2, 2021

Blaseball Roundup for seasons 12-14!
posted by JHarris at 7:55 AM on April 5, 2021

here's Season 15, play blall!
posted by cortex at 9:17 AM on April 5, 2021 [1 favorite]

« Older Book: Fortune Favors the Dead...   |  Star Trek: The Next Generation... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments