Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
July 6, 2022 8:05 PM - Subscribe

Four years after the destruction of Isla Nublar, dinosaurs now live —and hunt— alongside humans all over the world. This fragile balance will reshape the future and determine, once and for all, whether human beings are to remain the apex predators on a planet they now share with history's most fearsome creatures in a new Era.
posted by Omon Ra (13 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I can confirm this movie exists. I have seen it.
posted by thedward at 10:07 PM on July 9, 2022 [1 favorite]

I also saw it and will take this opportunity to air this petty grievance. I know this is petty, and I know it's ridiculous that this of all things is what broke my suspension of disbelief, but: at one point, Owen takes a dip in ice cold water. We know the water is ice cold, because it is literally frozen over. They are in the mountains. It is cold enough to be snowing. Owen is wearing nothing but some cargo pants and a henley. And yet, he emerges from his dunk in literally ice cold waters, in frigid outdoor temperatures, seemingly none the worse for wear. He's not even shivering, and tromping around outside in freezing wet clothes is apparently NBD. I spent the whole rest of the movie boggling at how on earth he didn't get hypothermia.
posted by yasaman at 4:24 PM on July 11, 2022 [1 favorite]

whether human beings are to remain the apex predators on a planet they now share with history's most fearsome creatures in a new Era.

I dunno which movie is examining the question of whether humans will remain the apex predators, because it sure ain't this one. (Maybe the current run of Godzilla/King Monsterverse films . . .)

The reappearance of Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) and Alan Grant (Sam Neill) just brought home how any sense of wonder, or any examinations of larger consideration of nature and our place in it, and how human greed and hubris affect this, is really just gone from the series. Even for "Hollywood Summer Blockbuster" values of examining these ideas.

It's a high-budget paint-by-numbers creature feature thriller - "Arrgh, here's a huge thing trying to eat us!!!" *escape by the skin of their teeth often due to luck* *momentary quiet pause* "Arrgh, here's another huge thing trying to eat us!!!" Rinse and repeat for 2+ hours.

I mean, it's technically done well, looks nice, fast paced - the perfect thing for me to "watch" on my first day off after a series of 14+ hour days at work. But it's essentially a high dollar version of the various low-budget knock-offs that have appeared over the last 30 years.
posted by soundguy99 at 5:50 AM on July 13, 2022 [1 favorite]

I saw this in theaters with a shocking number of 3 year olds running around, seemingly unfazed by everything that was going on.

Just as I was unfazed by everything that was going on.

There are only so many movies you can make with the same plot. The same goes for Star Wars - only so many Death Stars one can build.
posted by WildMuffin at 11:36 AM on July 13, 2022

Not enough dinosaurs eating people.
posted by nubs at 8:24 PM on July 19, 2022 [1 favorite]

I wanted to like this movie. I love the first three movies a lot and liked the most recent two. But this movie was so hard to watch. At no point did I actually believe they'd let anything bad happen to the six main characters. The premise that they could use Wu's technology to wipe out the evil crickets, but he wouldn't atone for his sins by also using that to wipe out the dinosaurs wreaking havoc upon the world, left such a big hole. The idea that the first movie gave us in Malcolm's iconic "they never stopped to think if they SHOULD" line went completely unexamined and the conclusion was just "now we live with dinosaurs killing and eating us all the time I guess." I wanted better.
posted by SeedStitch at 12:05 PM on July 20, 2022 [1 favorite]

I watched part of this movie about a month ago and couldn't finish it. I watched it again tonight after insomnia and it ... still sucks. I hate lazy movies that make references to fan favorites just to do it, and really Chris Pratt is capable of acting beyond just putting his hand up. There's a Dennis Nedry doppelganger, and countless references to the previous films including the amber mines, jumping over a fence, etc.

First it starts off unbelievable in the dangerous, underground world of ... Malta. I know EU countries are full of Haagan-Daz and illegal underground dinosaur fights. Apparently they didn't learn from the first film of putting women in inappropriate attire, so our first villain is in a white Chanel dress at this dinosaur bazaar. Anyway a bunch of plot points that don't make sense, but the only thing that comes off realistic is the true villain of the film, something Atwood? Looks like Tim Cook and actually has the corporate villain thing down. Instead of going for the tired Hank Scorpio route he actually talks in corporate patter. And there are a few good moments but nothing explains why all the dinosaurs are all violent, all the time. This has kind of been my thing since the first film, which at least portrayed most of the dinosaurs as not dangerous. This is like going to the zoo and none of the alligators have ate, ever. Also it might not make good storytelling but if you have the locusts in a negative pressure chamber why burn them? Why not just suck the oxygen out?

But the greatest sin is that nearly every scene in the movie came from other movies in the franchise. You get one, or maybe two jokes to make the fanboys laugh and if it is pulled off right it can be funny. The "did you know the original park's fence was electrified?" joke actually hit! But I felt like they storyboarded every other movie. Remember when you were trapped off a cliff in a bus with Julianne Moore? Let's put that scene in there!

Anyway I chose the wrong profession because I looked at who wrote this and they wrote similarly bad movies, yet are still making hand over fist.
posted by geoff. at 3:31 AM on July 31, 2022

really Chris Pratt is capable of acting beyond just putting his hand up.

Look, apparently him doing that is enough to convince dinosaurs that he's not only one of them, but he's the one in charge. That's acting!

Alternatively the dinosaurs are stopping in bewilderment over his acting choices
posted by nubs at 8:01 AM on July 31, 2022

Yeah. This was a movie. I mean, it wasn't _bad_, but who was the antagonist? The Tim Cook lookalike? BD Wong? The dinosaurs? Humankind's greed? What was their motivation? Locusts are going to eat all the non-biogen grain so everybody who lives will have to buy theirs? We gotta kidnap the girl to .. uh. deal with the locusts we created? Dinos be hungry?

I mean, I'll admit I enjoyed the 30 year old callbacks _all the same_, but Chris Pratt's hand-out schtick was maybe believable with raptors he'd trained from birth, but J. Random Hungry Dino wouldn't care?

And then, I know dino science has been moving on since the first movies, but "We've got a t-rex! and a giganotosaurus! and some other tyrannosaurs!" and my dudes, after all the lighting effects are done, they're all just Big Fucking Dinosaurs to everybody except the Poindexteriest Poindexter Dino Spotters in the audience.

posted by Kyol at 7:41 AM on August 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'm holding out hope that Jurassic Park Superfan phunniemee is going to show up and review this.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:16 PM on August 26, 2022

Well, I have seen it. It feels like Franchise Fatigue incarnate. All very pretty with the roaring and the running and the jumping but it’s hard to care that much about the goings-on.

It’s probably not encouraging that I noticed way deep in the credits that the producers offered Special Thanks to Bill Paxton, who died more than five years before this came out and had no particular connection to the franchise that I can think of.

When one random name in the credits is more intriguing than anything in your 2.5-hour franchise capstone where the fate of the world is in the balance, it might be a bad sign.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:00 PM on April 2, 2023

You intrigued me with that observation , ricochet biscuit, so I did some googling...turns out to be another Bill Paxton, who works as a film librarian at Universal.

Sometimes having the answer is less satisfying than just the question.
posted by nubs at 8:50 PM on April 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

turns out to be another Bill Paxton, who works as a film librarian at Universal

Ah, that makes sense. Names are not necessarily unique. I myself went to high school with John F. Kennedy, despite my not being 106.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:08 PM on April 11, 2023

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