Last Man on Earth: Moved To Tampa
April 19, 2015 10:24 PM - Season 1, Episode 11 - Subscribe

Everything's coming up Phil Miller! I'll stop there for fear of spoiler bitchery, but....

Okay, just so you guys know, I left a standup comedy show early just to go home and write this bitchcap for y'all. As Alan Sepinwall now calls this sort of thing, it's either hate-watching or hope-watching.

Phil and Carol announce their mutual divorce after three weeks, and only the first day and a half was good. They have a last dance while Gail plays the accordion.

The next day, Phil is throwing paint into a wood chipper right now for no reason, just so you know, Carol! Gail comes over looking for a sex date, they agree to meet up at 3 p.m. Later Phil and Erica meet up by the coffee/cow area and she asks him to go hiking at 5 p.m. today. DOUBLE DATE SCHEDULING!

In other news, Todd makes heart-shaped pancakes for Melissa and tells her he loves her. She says thank you. RUH-ROH. Awkwardness ensues.

Phil picks up a moping Todd by the side of the road. Todd tells him of the whole no-love situation and Phil emphasizes how bad Todd must feel. But hey, we're the only two guys around and she hates me, so you're probably safe! (Also, he gloats about his double dates.) Todd wonders what will happen if anyone else comes.

Phil claims he is not nervous about this, but later finds the nearest billboard he wrote "ALIVE IN TUSCON" on and crosses it out and says MOVED TO TAMPA. And then he loses the ladder! OH NOOOOOOOO. He debates if he can jump right to land in his truck (there's two beautiful women waiting for you at home, stick the landing!), and I think REMEMBER, THERE'S NO DOCTORS AND YOU WILL DIE HORRIBLY. Phil doesn't actually jump, but he does totally fry (what, no sunscreen before you leave home in Tuscon?) and lose his pants.

Gail goes over to Phil's at 3 and gets drunk and passes out on his bed, which is where Erica finds her at past 5. They're double stood up. Carol comes over and notes he didn't waste any time and tell them they're going after her sloppy seconds, AND THEY WERE SLOPPY.

Todd is now making Melissa a regular pancake. She tells him she just doesn't say the L-word lightly and don't read more into it than that. She cuts the pancake into a heart on her own and offers him half, but he won't take it.

After Carol finds out that Phil missed his three-way, she realizes he must be dead and calls for a search party.

Phil wakes up in the back of a truck. He's carried home by... YES, NOW A HOT GUY HAS LANDED. Its's Boris Kodjoe. And what's his character's name?

....Phil Miller. He's been in the military and worked for Habitat for Humanity (so did Melissa!) and actually has practical skills. Everyone scorns the whimpering Old Phil muttering "But I'm Phil Miller" and walks off to give New Phil a tour. And neither Gail nor Erica want to bang Old Scorched Phil any more either.

Old Phil, the President, it's totally legit, calls a meeting to call attention to himself. New Phil actually knows how to work out some solar electricity and knows things. Poor Todd is turning into Old Phil and walks out of the group meeting in shame. Two Phil Millers is confusing, shall we start calling them by middle names? New Phil has no middle name and Old Phil's is "Tandy." Literally the one thing he could have lied about and gotten away with, and he told the truth about THAT one? Anyway, the Phils have a game of Jenga to decide who gets the name, and of course Tandy loses.

Tandy goes over to Carol's, only to find that (a) her door is fixed, (b) she's wearing a lovely dress, and (c) she's bringing New Phil apple pie and creme brulee. There's some raisinballs in the fridge if you want them, Tandy.

"Carol, I'm throwing paint into a wood chipper right now for no reason. Just thought it would be fun!"
"You know how I love butt pancakes. An upside-down butt, even better."
"I found this guy passed out in his underwear."
"Why would you want to hit the hay? Are you mad at it? Boom."

So basically... all the girls are single and can totally date New Phil, and Todd is turning into Tandy/Formerly Old Phil out of sad jealousy, and the "Moved to Tampa" ploy didn't even work. Yes, Tandy, God hates you and you should move to Tampa. Alone. Forever.
posted by jenfullmoon (13 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
1) Thanks for continuing to take this pain for us, but I'm worried you're starting to enjoy the suffering too much.
2) Next season will be called: "The last 125 or so people on earth, until they start repopulating."
posted by filthy light thief at 10:32 PM on April 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

So "The Last Man on Earth" is now an even worse deceptive labeling job than last year's 12-hour "24: Live Another Day"? What's next? Season 2 of "Gotham" moves to Metropolis? "Bob's Burgers" converts to a Pizza Hut?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:31 AM on April 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

After the first couple episodes, I thought they meant the title to be clever: we first think it means "last human being on earth" but then, as more and more women get introduced, we realize it means literally "last man on earth." But, no. That's not what they were going for.

Maybe they'll end the season by killing off everyone but Phil/Tandy. Maybe that's what the show will be: every season begins with Phil thinking he's the only human still alive, then he comes across more people, then he ruins everything, then he's left alone again.
posted by meese at 5:47 AM on April 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Phil is throwing paint into a wood chipper right now for no reason
That's all I want to see. 22 minutes of things like that and I'd be happy.
posted by FallowKing at 7:03 AM on April 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Am I Stockholmed now? I didn't find this as horrible as past episodes. Still not sure I want to watch it, but I was less bothered but it.

Mind you, I totally skipped the last two in favor of these less-painful recaps, so perhaps I am just not as raw. But I do seem to find Phil-Prime's uck a little less awful now, possibly because everyone is on to him.

It would be interesting to have New Phil actually turn out to be as completely full of shit as Phil Prime, only better at it. It certainly would be in keeping with everyone being at least a little awful (though Gail and Erica seem okay, and Melissa's only uck seems to be being a little too me-too with New Phil).
posted by phearlez at 11:04 AM on April 20, 2015

1) Thanks for continuing to take this pain for us, but I'm worried you're starting to enjoy the suffering too much.

Agreed. jfm, I enjoy your posts and comments here way too much to let you keep inflicting this awful show on yourself. It's OK to let it go.
posted by mochapickle at 12:11 PM on April 20, 2015

It was Crème fraîche with the apple pie.
posted by andoatnp at 1:46 PM on April 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

I know, objectively, that this show is pretty bad, but there are these moments that pierce through the terribleness. I found myself somewhat charmed by this last episode. We got to see Carol in her full glory, more terrible things happening to Phil Prime, and tension with Todd and Melissa. I feel like I've been Phil at times, and also been Todd--getting paranoid about a new relationship. It's unlikely this will be renewed, so I'm hoping for a non-cliffhanger season finale. I naively want to see Phil become a real person.
posted by mecran01 at 11:24 PM on April 20, 2015

It's been renewed.
posted by mochapickle at 5:52 AM on April 21, 2015

I'm not watching this show - I just read these threads about it. I feel I get better entertainment value while not suffering through the material itself.

But did a show ostensibly about the last man on earth actually do (or at least set up anyway) the old sitcom chestnut about the main character having two overlapping dates??

Although per mochapickle's link, three out of four Variety commenters seem to like it...
posted by Naberius at 7:29 AM on April 21, 2015

Technically the dates were not overlapping. One was at 3PM for sex & the other was at 5 for a hike, presumably well after the sex was over.
posted by scalefree at 5:49 PM on April 23, 2015

Technically the dates were not overlapping.

They knew about each other. The set up there was just that he had two dates in a row with two hot women set up right before a hotter Phil Miller showed up.

I have been going with the interpretation that he is the last man on earth & is just hallucinating everyone else. The other characters are all just so perfectly designed to frustrate him, and there are not that many scenes which aren't focused around him (even when he's not there, it's the sort of thing like, everyone else is having a delicious breakfast while I walk home alone). I think someone on one of these threads brought up this idea before, so I know I'm not the only one to have come up with it - my partner and I thought of it simultaneously when we were commenting on how one-dimensional everyone was.

Even if that's not what they're intentionally doing, I find the show more watchable assuming it.
posted by mdn at 11:26 PM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]

Wow, I really like that reading. And I hope you're right.
posted by mochapickle at 8:25 AM on April 25, 2015

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