Last Man on Earth: The Tandyman Can
April 26, 2015 10:19 PM - Season 1, Episode 12 - Subscribe
We all know the Tandyman can't. Anyway, New Phil continues to be awesome, we see two out of three dudes shirtless, and two people end it happy, and two end it miserable. You probably know who I mean.
Things New Phil can do:
* move the cow downstairs
* build a milking pen for the cow
* clean up the garbage pool
* has a proper license to drive a garbage truck, if anyone cares
* fix up hot showers for everyone
* wants to set up farms.
* show off shirtless a lot.
* run for President and win in five minutes.
Things New Phil can't do:
* Get Tom's...er, Todd's name right.
* Have an orgy with all of the women, though Todd thinks he did.
Things Tandy can do:
* ask New Phil to move in with him rather than with all of the lonely ladies.
* work out a tiny bit while showing off his body to his balls at the bar
* also take off his shirt and run around naked, which nobody wants to see
* lose a sudden presidential election
* cover his junk with the US Constitution
* tell Todd that Phil probably wants to boink the cow too
* fakes a farm?!
* make amends with New Phil.
Things Todd can do:
* attempt to forbid Melissa from hanging out with Phil
* sulk, pout, and do a pre-emptive breakup with Melissa before she can break up with him.
* get the idea that Phil just had an orgy with all of the women when really all he did was set up hot showers.
Things Melissa can do:
* ride on a garbage truck, WHEEE, she's always wanted to do that
* get over Todd and his sulking, apparently.
Things Gail and Erica can't do:
* pretend that their generator is broken so that Phil can come over and fix it.
Things Gail and Carol can do:
* cook, in some kind of cookoff
Things Carol alone can do:
* make Phil a scarf, which he loves
* paint her nails with cats on them, which he also loves
* BOINK NEW PHIL LIKE A BOSS SO THAT EVERYONE CAN HEAR HER CALL HIS NAME.
New Phil's other talent: actually managing to go along with Carol's weird sex talk about mosquitoes.
Tandy and Todd decide that New Phil has to die.
Quotes:
"If I knew you were coming, I would have tucked it in."
"I thought you already did!" -Tandy and Erica, upon seeing him naked.
"So now I see that exposing my genitals to Phil was a massive misfire." -Tandy
"I just don't want you to be the president." -Phil
"We got to kill this guy." "I'm in." --Todd and Tandy
Next week: one of the Phils has to go. Guess which one. HUZZAH.
Things New Phil can do:
* move the cow downstairs
* build a milking pen for the cow
* clean up the garbage pool
* has a proper license to drive a garbage truck, if anyone cares
* fix up hot showers for everyone
* wants to set up farms.
* show off shirtless a lot.
* run for President and win in five minutes.
Things New Phil can't do:
* Get Tom's...er, Todd's name right.
* Have an orgy with all of the women, though Todd thinks he did.
Things Tandy can do:
* ask New Phil to move in with him rather than with all of the lonely ladies.
* work out a tiny bit while showing off his body to his balls at the bar
* also take off his shirt and run around naked, which nobody wants to see
* lose a sudden presidential election
* cover his junk with the US Constitution
* tell Todd that Phil probably wants to boink the cow too
* fakes a farm?!
* make amends with New Phil.
Things Todd can do:
* attempt to forbid Melissa from hanging out with Phil
* sulk, pout, and do a pre-emptive breakup with Melissa before she can break up with him.
* get the idea that Phil just had an orgy with all of the women when really all he did was set up hot showers.
Things Melissa can do:
* ride on a garbage truck, WHEEE, she's always wanted to do that
* get over Todd and his sulking, apparently.
Things Gail and Erica can't do:
* pretend that their generator is broken so that Phil can come over and fix it.
Things Gail and Carol can do:
* cook, in some kind of cookoff
Things Carol alone can do:
* make Phil a scarf, which he loves
* paint her nails with cats on them, which he also loves
* BOINK NEW PHIL LIKE A BOSS SO THAT EVERYONE CAN HEAR HER CALL HIS NAME.
New Phil's other talent: actually managing to go along with Carol's weird sex talk about mosquitoes.
Tandy and Todd decide that New Phil has to die.
Quotes:
"If I knew you were coming, I would have tucked it in."
"I thought you already did!" -Tandy and Erica, upon seeing him naked.
"So now I see that exposing my genitals to Phil was a massive misfire." -Tandy
"I just don't want you to be the president." -Phil
"We got to kill this guy." "I'm in." --Todd and Tandy
Next week: one of the Phils has to go. Guess which one. HUZZAH.
Ah, thank god we got past all that other crap last episode and can get back to what Will Forte really wants to deal with: male sexual frustration and jealousy. That's what we all want to see, right?
Although I will say, Carol and Phil having sex almost made up for everything. That was great.
Also great: the few moments when I was allowed to hope that Tandy and Phil might hook up. But of course that's not possible, right?
Finally, the ending of this episode makes rather little sense. Don't Tandy and Todd want Phil to be in love with Carol? Doesn't that leave three women for them to choose from? Doesn't that free up Todd to go back to the relationship he was building before? Doesn't that free up Tandy to try whatever sleazy things he wants to try with the other two women? Seriously, this whole thing is weird.
On reflection, I do have to say that I'm glad there was sex in this episode. Because it's getting ridiculous – at this point, the whole premise of the show seems to rest on the idea that, if they hadn't had sex in three years and were apparently the only people left in the world, seven people would really want to have sex. But the constant tension-building without an outlet is idiotic. Wouldn't some people just fuck already?
posted by koeselitz at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2015
Although I will say, Carol and Phil having sex almost made up for everything. That was great.
Also great: the few moments when I was allowed to hope that Tandy and Phil might hook up. But of course that's not possible, right?
Finally, the ending of this episode makes rather little sense. Don't Tandy and Todd want Phil to be in love with Carol? Doesn't that leave three women for them to choose from? Doesn't that free up Todd to go back to the relationship he was building before? Doesn't that free up Tandy to try whatever sleazy things he wants to try with the other two women? Seriously, this whole thing is weird.
On reflection, I do have to say that I'm glad there was sex in this episode. Because it's getting ridiculous – at this point, the whole premise of the show seems to rest on the idea that, if they hadn't had sex in three years and were apparently the only people left in the world, seven people would really want to have sex. But the constant tension-building without an outlet is idiotic. Wouldn't some people just fuck already?
posted by koeselitz at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2015
These people need to start doing something besides drinking, fucking, and griping about not fucking. (Basically, it's Cougar Town, post-apocalypse.) Like, get some jobs. At least Carol crafts, but shouldn't there be cow milking and farming to be done?
GO CAROL, incidentally.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:20 AM on April 27, 2015 [3 favorites]
GO CAROL, incidentally.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:20 AM on April 27, 2015 [3 favorites]
I wonder if the underlying premise of the show is, what if the world pretty much ended and most even left was more unhappy and stressed (except for Carol and neo-Phil).
posted by drezdn at 9:18 PM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by drezdn at 9:18 PM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Finally, the ending of this episode makes rather little sense. Don't Tandy and Todd want Phil to be in love with Carol?
Todd is all insecurity at this point. Melissa wouldn't say she loves him (I liked the visual gag last episode when she offered him the heart pancake by ripping it in half). Then this amazing guy came shows up and Todd's convinced himself that she is going to fall in love with Phil instead. So it doesn't matter if Todd loves Carol, it only matters that Melissa doesn't love him.
Tandy assumes that Phil is going to behave like he would/did that in situation.
posted by Gary at 11:02 PM on April 27, 2015
Todd is all insecurity at this point. Melissa wouldn't say she loves him (I liked the visual gag last episode when she offered him the heart pancake by ripping it in half). Then this amazing guy came shows up and Todd's convinced himself that she is going to fall in love with Phil instead. So it doesn't matter if Todd loves Carol, it only matters that Melissa doesn't love him.
Tandy assumes that Phil is going to behave like he would/did that in situation.
posted by Gary at 11:02 PM on April 27, 2015
I was a little disappointed in Carol--she was so insistent on marrying Tandy, and then post-divorce does the very thing that she accused the other women of. Say what you want about Carol, she at least had her integrity! Phil has to die.
posted by mecran01 at 11:59 PM on April 27, 2015
posted by mecran01 at 11:59 PM on April 27, 2015
I think New Phil is at least partly an audience proxy -- he is asking all my questions! Why are you people in Tucson, what is your plan for water and agriculture, why is the cow in the bedroom. Why garbage pool. FIX GARBAGE POOL. This is basically how I would behave if dropped into this group of people.
That being the case, I can only assume that if I were in this show (and a dude) Tandy would try to kill me too. Which I think I'm OK with. I'm pretty sure any murder attempt by Tandy will backfire on him.
How do we think this will backfire? Tandy gets appendicitis, and New Phil saves his life (again)?
It's interesting how unlikeable Todd is now that he's not The New Hotness. (The actor is doing a terrific job.)
The shot of January Jones on the back of the garbage truck like a ballerina was delightful.
posted by pie ninja at 5:26 AM on April 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
That being the case, I can only assume that if I were in this show (and a dude) Tandy would try to kill me too. Which I think I'm OK with. I'm pretty sure any murder attempt by Tandy will backfire on him.
How do we think this will backfire? Tandy gets appendicitis, and New Phil saves his life (again)?
It's interesting how unlikeable Todd is now that he's not The New Hotness. (The actor is doing a terrific job.)
The shot of January Jones on the back of the garbage truck like a ballerina was delightful.
posted by pie ninja at 5:26 AM on April 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Phil/Carol might be the first couple I've seen on television where the dude is more physically attractive.
posted by segfault at 1:20 PM on April 28, 2015
posted by segfault at 1:20 PM on April 28, 2015
January Jones Garbage Truck Scene Wallpaper
posted by craniac at 5:34 AM on April 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by craniac at 5:34 AM on April 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
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posted by Servo5678 at 5:05 AM on April 27, 2015 [2 favorites]