Fast Five (2011)

August 2, 2015 1:49 PM

Dominic Toretto and his crew of street racers plan a massive heist to buy their freedom while in the sights of a powerful Brazilian drug lord and a dangerous federal agent.

The First Great Posthuman Movie garnered 3 stars from Ebert, 78% on Rotten Tomatoes is high Rock-tane action that introduces Dwayne Johnson as franchise Viagra

posted by the man of twists and turns (9 comments total)

ROCK.
posted by Artw at 9:58 PM on August 2, 2015

BANK VAULT.
posted by cendawanita at 11:59 PM on August 2, 2015

also this marks the beginning of my personal confusion with what on earth is Vin Diesel doing, re: acting choices. Paul Walker was underappreciated (as always!).
posted by cendawanita at 12:00 AM on August 3, 2015

How Did This Get Made? (w/ special guest Adam Scott)

Fast Five might be a critical success, a million dollar blockbuster, and an “event in cinema” (Vin’s words, not ours) but that doesn’t make it immune to criticism. Paul, June, Jason, and Adam Scott discuss the inexplicably magical jewelry, unnecessary characters, and chronological confusion that lay beneath an otherwise incredible action flick. If you haven’t seen Fast Five yet, stay until the very end for a surprise celebrity cameo (no, not Perd Hapley)

posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:11 AM on August 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

My only complaint about this movie is that it didn't have a scene with the Rock trying to get into a tiny car.
posted by amarynth at 8:21 AM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

He seems to have enough trouble fitting inside clothes.
posted by Artw at 8:33 AM on August 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

I think there's a moment when a shanty actually explodes around him because he's too big for it.
posted by maxsparber at 8:59 AM on August 4, 2015

I am unsure that his law enforcement role would work as depicted in this series.
posted by Artw at 9:25 AM on August 4, 2015

I'm just now, finally, watching all of these movies because people whose tastes I haven't been failed by before have been singing their praises (while being realistic about their pitfalls, especially in the first three), and ok, I know that this series keeps getting more insane from here on out, but right this moment it feels like nothing can be more enjoyably and knowingly ludicrous as Dwayne Johnson's entire deal in this movie. That absurd banter about wanting his dessert first when getting briefed felt like something that belongs in a peak John Carpenter action flick, too ridiculous for reality and exactly the right amount of ridiculous to set your expectations perfectly. I can't stand anything about that character in the best way. Also he's constantly drenched in gallons of sweat, obviously way above and beyond anyone else around him, which is an interesting choice. Somebody's job on set was to keep The Rock constantly moistened like a beached muscley cetacean waiting for rescue and I can't get over it. Like who made this choice and why? I need to know.

At this point in the series, not knowing much about what comes ahead, I can say that I applaud the choice to completely gloss over the street racing competition scene, it felt like the moment in the series where the caterpillar started metamorphosing and I hope they keep getting further from it. I just spent an ungodly five whole minutes with Zachary Ty Bryan soundtracked to Kid Rock street racing on my screen a couple days ago and I think that killed what little patience I had left for the humble roots of the series. And yet I love that every solution to every problem must always be cars because that's what the series chained itself to.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:19 PM on July 10, 2021