Empire: True Love Never
November 11, 2015 10:52 PM - Season 2, Episode 7 - Subscribe

Lucious and Mimi work on another business deal and get hot and heavy, but then the Flashback Train To Hell interrupts that. Andre has to figure out how to get shit done without screwing someone. Hakeem continues to groom his little protege. Jamal writes an awesome song with Cookie's secret help. Cookie has an all-day boinkfest and plots a summer jam.

Team Cookie: Cookie has an all-day boinkfest with Laz and gets the brainstorm to throw her own summer jam, called "Cookie's Cookout." Laz suggests they get a venue for it at Rock Steady Park, which is conveniently located within the territory of "Big Heavy," i.e. apparently the head of the kidnapping gang that Laz is in. Laz is pulling some kind of scam to get Cookie to pay them for protection money, which, alas, works. Hakeem walks in on the meeting with Big Heavy and isn't happy about it, but joins in negotiations anyway. Hakeem reiterates to Cookie that he's a partner in this Lyon Dynasty biz and should be in on these things. Hakeem is also aware of Cookie's boinkfests and warns her to be careful. Poor kid has no idea.. The two of them also call each other out for making genital-based decisions, har.

Team Jamal: Jamal and Cookie are sneaking around behind Lucious's back, working on Jamal's latest song. Which is about "heavy is the head that wears the crown" and it has excellent lyrics. They really do write the songs for Jamal best, don't they? Cookie gets all dressed up to go on a date with Jamal, they drink, and then they skip off to LD to lay down some track, but Hakeem walks in and Jamal has to run out the back. The Freudian issues of this, oh lord.
Anyway, Lucious doesn't sound too happy with it when he hears the lyrics, but it gets Jamal a performance on Huey Jarvis's Living Room Sessions. Lucious is all, "Yeah, I been working with him."

Team Hakeem (always fun to rhyme that): Hakeem is working on dealing with Mirage a Trois again-- Carmen is literally shoving Laura around the stage with her ass. Cookie demands that Carmen be made lead singer, so Hakeem gets Tiana to teach Laura how to walk and then gets Laura to sing "I Will Survive" in Spanish in public. (Girl looks like she's freezing, btw.) This gets Laura interested in him romantically and she plants one on him.

Team Rhondre: Oh goody, more Gutter Life. Lucious wants Andre to get Freda out of a little legal trouble (gang injunction) by visiting his old fuckbuddy the deputy mayor. Andre knows that's to get him out of his current religious bent and turns to his pastor, who is essentially all, you're a warrior for God and sometimes you gotta do something repugnant. (WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!) No, don't fuck her, but do something else. So instead Andre blackmails her with recordings of their nookie. Keep it classy, Andre. I'm sure it's gonna go great next time you need a favor from that chick. Andre then goes home and tells his wife all about it and wants to have sex again, which finally answers Rhonda's prayers, at least.

Coincidentally in this episode (or not), Andre has a flashback to his little gun episode and tells the preacher he was going to do it to punish his father. This may have worked better than I would have thought had he succeeded (see below).

Team Lucious: Oh goody, more Freda. Both Freda and Lucious are on this "embrace the pain and it makes your music better" kick, which in Lucious's case is combined with flashbacks of him hiding mommy's bullets so she won't kill herself. She finds one bullet and forces young Dwight to watch her play Russian roulette. The memory of this leads to Lucious stomping out of a fun time (see below) and running to get the gun, and then having a very angry rap session with Freda and firing the empty gun around. OH YEAH, THAT'S NOT AT ALL WORRYING. Okay, who here thinks someone else in the family is bipolar?

In other Lucious news, he and Mimi are working on some merger with a company named Swiftstream. (Andre warns against it and Lucious of course ignores that entirely.) Mimi warns Lucious that the owner likes to box with people, and the owner makes the mistake of saying he likes Lucious's beats but thinks his lyrics are kinda shallow. Lucious punches him in the face and is all, "shallow that, punk ass." Mimi is all "You'll pay for that." Despite literally putting the dude in the hospital, Lucious still gets what he wants by increasing the dude's morphine drip and getting him super high and then getting him to sign papers. Of course. He also thanks the guy for inspiring him to write a beautiful song after that punch, and the guy is all, "Good. I look forward to my royalty checks."

Mimi and Lucious skip off to a party together, get drunk and cuddle, and decide to share a lovely lady together. I GET RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS, especially when Lucious and Mimi start making out (didn't expect that one), but then Mimi gets a phone call and goes out to take it, and apparently it makes her cry. It sounds like someone's getting on her to hurry up about something, but we don't find out what. Lucious is all, "Is that the wifey or the girlfriend?" grabs the phone and demands that Mimi be treated with love and respect. The caller hangs up, and Lucious reminds Mimi, "but right now, baby, we got the springtime!" Alas, the threesome is interrupted a second time when Lucious sees that Little Miss Springtime has a gun tattoo on her thigh pointed right at her crotch, BAILS ON THE THREESOME(?!?!?), and runs off to play with momma's gun and go hash out a song with Freda at four a.m. Because priorities. I don't think Mimi even got some, either.

Incidentally, "boom boom boom boom" is the theme song of evil now.

Quote Corner:
"The last time I didn't come to work, my son turned it into a strip club." -Cookie.
"Being in jail put a fire in me." -Lucious
"Yeah, my boss is a pimp!" -Porsha, still employed somehow.
"Hey, what you doing looking all walk of shame and whatnot?" -Hakeem to Cookie as he inadvertently walks in on her sneaking Jamal in to lay down a recording.
"You're blinded by the ass." -Cookie to Hakeem
"I ain't even touched the girl!" -Hakeem to Cookie
*Dwight, do you know what Mommy did with her bullets?" -Lucious's mother, saying words nobody should ever have to hear from a parent to their child.

Fashion Corner:
Wow, Cookie's bling top and ...blinged ripped jeans? Cray cray. She also wears a dress with booze bottles on it.
Hakeem apparently has a shirt with graffiti on it.
Mirage a Trois wears dresses made entirely out of strings, actually rather pretty.
Mimi for once is not in any fugly suits at all! Huzzah! That screaming orange outfit isn't the best, but it's an improvement. I do give Mimi props for the blingy silver fancy pajamas she has on later, though. Lovely.
I am loving the wall art at Lyon Dynasty. Beautiful.
posted by jenfullmoon (6 comments total)
I have to admit, I loved Lucious's "Is it my birthday? Oh, it's Christmas!" when Mimi brought the girls over in the club. Somehow both completely sleazy and slightly childlike.
posted by TwoStride at 8:01 AM on November 12, 2015

Were we supposed to understand who called Mimi and why Lucious was suddenly so boyfriend/big brother protective of her feelings? I had no idea what was going on in that scene. Also felt bad for poor would-be-threesome lady, how many times did she get pushed aside?

blinged ripped jeans are now my secret fashion dream
posted by donnagirl at 11:03 AM on November 12, 2015

I rewound that scene 3 times. I believe it was her partner. She clearly seems to be getting tired of holding the Deal together. I thought she may have refered to a business take over by the line " it won't take much longer" or to that effect.
Luscious just controls and bullies then apologizes then has a flashback and leaves to record.
Mimi is a fascinating character and is played wonderfully.
posted by clavdivs at 1:26 PM on November 12, 2015

this episode was a lot of setting things up and very little resolution. i think in a few weeks we'll be discussing this episode again.

i love love love kelly rowland in this role.
posted by nadawi at 6:28 PM on November 12, 2015

i also fully suspect that end scene is setting up the law of chekhov's gun.
posted by nadawi at 6:31 PM on November 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

I thought it was Mimi upping Mr. Swiftstream's morphine drip, not Lucious? Which is somehow weirder/worse? Combined with the whole "it's taking longer" threesome-interrupting phone call... What exactly is Mimi up to? Who's she fronting for to take over/destroy Empire?

Alsho, I loved Coogie an' Tjaaamaaaal gettin all shloshy onna champers at lunsch. No, YOU da best!
posted by mon-ma-tron at 6:00 PM on November 13, 2015

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