America's Next Top Model: The Guy Who Gets a Beard Weave
September 10, 2014 10:15 AM - Season 21, Episode 4 - Subscribe
It's the most wonderful time of the ANTM season- makeovers!
This is a guilty pleasure that I've watched since Cycle 1. I'm so glad to see Miss Jay back, but Noted-Fashion-Photographer-Nigel-Barker is not missed at all.
That beard weave looked like something you'd buy at a party store as part of a Bin Laden costume.
So far I'm liking Matthew and Will. I can't remember the names of any of the girls, but I like the African-American girl with the gap between her teeth. Adam needs to go home, but Tyra likes him and so do the fans, so he'll probably stay around way past his sell-by date. He'll cause drama, and the producers like that.
posted by essexjan at 10:56 AM on September 10, 2014
That beard weave looked like something you'd buy at a party store as part of a Bin Laden costume.
So far I'm liking Matthew and Will. I can't remember the names of any of the girls, but I like the African-American girl with the gap between her teeth. Adam needs to go home, but Tyra likes him and so do the fans, so he'll probably stay around way past his sell-by date. He'll cause drama, and the producers like that.
posted by essexjan at 10:56 AM on September 10, 2014
They need to fire whoever didn't get the Matthew/Will kiss on camera. I really very much wanted to see that!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:59 AM on September 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:59 AM on September 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
Yeah, that beard weave was the phoniest of baloneys. Also, I felt really bad for Kari since that blond dye job was NOT what I was expecting either and it makes her look like a completely different person.
Also agree that Adam has got to go asap, but will admit that his makeover haircut made him looke about a thousand times better.
posted by dogwalker at 11:28 AM on September 10, 2014
Also agree that Adam has got to go asap, but will admit that his makeover haircut made him looke about a thousand times better.
posted by dogwalker at 11:28 AM on September 10, 2014
Which guy was it that said, "Kari thinks she looks like a stripper...and she does, but..." I totally LOLed.
I think the beard weave was Tyra getting her revenge on him for acting out at the photoshoot. I think she does as many terrible things as possible to see who will crack; this group seems to be particularly tolerant which I'm sure was very disappointing for her. One blonde eyebrow and one black eyebrow? Come on.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:59 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think the beard weave was Tyra getting her revenge on him for acting out at the photoshoot. I think she does as many terrible things as possible to see who will crack; this group seems to be particularly tolerant which I'm sure was very disappointing for her. One blonde eyebrow and one black eyebrow? Come on.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:59 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
I haven't watched ANTM for manymany seasons, but for some reason I just binge watched myself right into this thread. I feel like I just ate an entire pan of mutilated brownies. NOT PROUD.
Which guy was it that said, "Kari thinks she looks like a stripper...and she does, but..." I totally LOLed.
She looks like an Oompa Loompa. The eyebrows. Why? SO MEAN.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:00 PM on September 10, 2014
Which guy was it that said, "Kari thinks she looks like a stripper...and she does, but..." I totally LOLed.
She looks like an Oompa Loompa. The eyebrows. Why? SO MEAN.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:00 PM on September 10, 2014
Oh, and Romeo...
Romeo...
You are very pretty, yes.
However.
Have ever heard of The Threefold Law?
Ever mind the rule of three,
What ye send out comes back to thee.
Come here, Romeo.
*SLAP SLAP SLAP*
You're not a witch, you're a very naughty boy. Stop being a douche.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:20 PM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
Romeo...
You are very pretty, yes.
However.
Have ever heard of The Threefold Law?
Ever mind the rule of three,
What ye send out comes back to thee.
Come here, Romeo.
*SLAP SLAP SLAP*
You're not a witch, you're a very naughty boy. Stop being a douche.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:20 PM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
Such a collection of offensively stupid people, I marvel. I keep expecting someone to drown in the shower because they forgot to shut their mouth.
I hope they are setting up Romeo, as they are trying to make it like everyone he wants to leave goes, and there is no way he's getting close to winning.
Not going with the black amish look? Shocking.
posted by provoliminal at 2:21 PM on September 10, 2014
I hope they are setting up Romeo, as they are trying to make it like everyone he wants to leave goes, and there is no way he's getting close to winning.
Not going with the black amish look? Shocking.
posted by provoliminal at 2:21 PM on September 10, 2014
I am incredibly happy to see ANTM posted to FanFare. Thank you.
That beard weave looked like something you'd buy at a party store as part of a Bin Laden costume.
Oh man, YES. Cackling with glee over here, that is so right on. It's either that or Denzel needs to snag himself a righteous Abe Lincoln hat ASAP. I like how they made a big deal of the fact that it was the first time ever that an ANTM contestant was given a beard weave for their makeover, a) like getting a beard weave is something that people do all the time (NB please Google "beard weave" right now, the top results are hilarious) and b) like there has been more than one additional season of ANTM where it was physically possible to put a facial hair weave on a contestant.
"Beard weave" is a turn of phrase that should enter the pop culture lexicon. What should it mean?
They need to fire whoever didn't get the Matthew/Will kiss on camera. I really very much wanted to see that!
So much this. I'm totally shipping Matthew and Will. Sigh.
Adam and Romeo are duking it out for the crown of Most Awful. Kari's makeover is... distressing, as is Shei's. They went a little overboard with the platinum bleaching -- I feel like they should have thrown a few more shaved heads into the mix to maximize the incipient makeover trauma.
I'm also excited to see Miss Jay back, and it's been downright delightful to see a few guest appearances by Cory, who was robbed last season in a way no other ANTM-to-be has been robbed before. *grumblegrumblestupidMarvingrumble*
posted by divined by radio at 8:25 AM on September 11, 2014 [2 favorites]
That beard weave looked like something you'd buy at a party store as part of a Bin Laden costume.
Oh man, YES. Cackling with glee over here, that is so right on. It's either that or Denzel needs to snag himself a righteous Abe Lincoln hat ASAP. I like how they made a big deal of the fact that it was the first time ever that an ANTM contestant was given a beard weave for their makeover, a) like getting a beard weave is something that people do all the time (NB please Google "beard weave" right now, the top results are hilarious) and b) like there has been more than one additional season of ANTM where it was physically possible to put a facial hair weave on a contestant.
"Beard weave" is a turn of phrase that should enter the pop culture lexicon. What should it mean?
They need to fire whoever didn't get the Matthew/Will kiss on camera. I really very much wanted to see that!
So much this. I'm totally shipping Matthew and Will. Sigh.
Adam and Romeo are duking it out for the crown of Most Awful. Kari's makeover is... distressing, as is Shei's. They went a little overboard with the platinum bleaching -- I feel like they should have thrown a few more shaved heads into the mix to maximize the incipient makeover trauma.
I'm also excited to see Miss Jay back, and it's been downright delightful to see a few guest appearances by Cory, who was robbed last season in a way no other ANTM-to-be has been robbed before. *grumblegrumblestupidMarvingrumble*
posted by divined by radio at 8:25 AM on September 11, 2014 [2 favorites]
As I was lamenting watching a season of ANTM without either Rich Juzwiak OR Potes, I discovered that someone told Rich about the beard weave.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:10 AM on September 11, 2014
posted by louche mustachio at 10:10 AM on September 11, 2014
"Face-front!"
I can't wait for the long silky mutton chops or the pronged goatee.
posted by provoliminal at 11:25 AM on September 11, 2014
I can't wait for the long silky mutton chops or the pronged goatee.
posted by provoliminal at 11:25 AM on September 11, 2014
I am incredibly happy to see ANTM posted to FanFare. Thank you.
I am incredibly happy that there are Mefites other than essexjan and I who are watching! I assumed this was going to be our own private little chat room; it truly is the more, the merrier!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:33 PM on September 11, 2014
I am incredibly happy that there are Mefites other than essexjan and I who are watching! I assumed this was going to be our own private little chat room; it truly is the more, the merrier!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:33 PM on September 11, 2014
You have drawn me back into that quicksand that is ANTM. I thought I'd kicked the habit when I stopped watching several cycles ago, but the beard weave has lured me back.
posted by sciencegeek at 6:09 PM on September 11, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by sciencegeek at 6:09 PM on September 11, 2014 [2 favorites]
I assumed this was going to be our own private little chat room; it truly is the more, the merrier!
Really, ANTM is best, possibly ONLY, enjoyable if you have a group of people with which to mock the absolute batshitinsanity of the proceedings. Tyra is like this mad, cackling puppeteer, and the hamsters* are her marionettes.
*R.I.P. TWoP
posted by louche mustachio at 11:15 PM on September 11, 2014
Really, ANTM is best, possibly ONLY, enjoyable if you have a group of people with which to mock the absolute batshitinsanity of the proceedings. Tyra is like this mad, cackling puppeteer, and the hamsters* are her marionettes.
*R.I.P. TWoP
posted by louche mustachio at 11:15 PM on September 11, 2014
I haven't watched ANTM in years, but for some reason I binge watched the first season of Africa's Next Top Model not too long ago. It had the rough edges of a first season show and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was odd watching a show I, in some ways, knew very well, but uprooted and planted into an entirely different culture (well cultures, they had women from multiple African Nations).
Which is to say - I am considering peeking back into ANTM.
posted by Julnyes at 10:27 AM on September 12, 2014
Which is to say - I am considering peeking back into ANTM.
posted by Julnyes at 10:27 AM on September 12, 2014
please Google "beard weave" right now,
I haven't seen the show this season, but holy crap! It looks like someone glued an entire ferret across his chin.
Do beard-weaves get as nasty as some of the hair weaves of past seasons did over time?
posted by bibliowench at 9:49 PM on September 13, 2014
I haven't seen the show this season, but holy crap! It looks like someone glued an entire ferret across his chin.
Do beard-weaves get as nasty as some of the hair weaves of past seasons did over time?
posted by bibliowench at 9:49 PM on September 13, 2014
Okay - I watched all four episodes. This show is chock full of ridiculous.
That Adam guy and his gross frat bro behavior is so off putting (is he on the show as some elaborate joke for his fraternity brothers? I can't believe he is taking any of this seriously). Though maybe that is the right attitude to take since the show can't really be claiming to produce top models at this point.
That beard weave was so stupid - especially because it is just glued to his face. That isn't how weaves work. It started coming off the moment they applied it.
posted by Julnyes at 9:36 AM on September 15, 2014
That Adam guy and his gross frat bro behavior is so off putting (is he on the show as some elaborate joke for his fraternity brothers? I can't believe he is taking any of this seriously). Though maybe that is the right attitude to take since the show can't really be claiming to produce top models at this point.
That beard weave was so stupid - especially because it is just glued to his face. That isn't how weaves work. It started coming off the moment they applied it.
posted by Julnyes at 9:36 AM on September 15, 2014
Well, that was ludicrous. I've made more convincing beards out of construction paper. Which is to say, nice work sucking me back in, Tyra.
posted by roger ackroyd at 12:51 PM on September 15, 2014
posted by roger ackroyd at 12:51 PM on September 15, 2014
I really liked having guys on the last season, they brought a kind of different goofy energy to the show. And they were good sports about Tyra dressing them in glitter and leather pants every. single. week.* This years crop of guys bring to mind a lower tier fraternity that's already on probation. I eagerly anticipate their reaction to Tyra wrapping them in swatches of fabric and hanging them from the ceiling while exhorting them to look more like high fashion bats.
*Not that I have anything against glitter and leather pants but I think most actual modeling jobs for men involve things like suits and watches.
posted by fshgrl at 12:59 AM on September 16, 2014
*Not that I have anything against glitter and leather pants but I think most actual modeling jobs for men involve things like suits and watches.
posted by fshgrl at 12:59 AM on September 16, 2014
Wow. Thanks for making this sound entertaining enough to watch -- it was worth it for the worst attempt at a beard I've ever seen. (It's glued on; why are they calling it a weave?)
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:14 PM on September 16, 2014
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:14 PM on September 16, 2014
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:18 AM on September 10, 2014 [1 favorite]