The Strain: Last Rites

September 28, 2014 8:14 PM - Season 1, Episode 12

Eichhorst launches an attack against the pawn shop. Later, Palmer receives a very special visitor. Old friends return.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (23 comments total)

This show is great when it takes the time to mock Eph.

Vampire Commados return and steal Gus!

The OldGuy is a tad fanatical!

Wasn't that a great first date?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:17 PM on September 28, 2014

lol gurl your timeline doesn’t work at all to explain that accent but Fet thinks you're cute anyway so you're cool.

I just realized that no one needs medicine.

I’ve been holding my tongue until now, but since he brought it up…Abe could be my dad or one of my uncles (although they would have come to this country more than 40 years ago now) and it bugs the shit out of me that he has no trace of an Eastern-European accent (and even becomes Scottish in the flashback!) Sorry, but that accent — OH COME ON, REALLY?? DANZIG?? HERE?? NOW??— runs deep. And maybe I’m projecting a little, but it feels like it waters down his Jewishness, which in turn downplays a lot of the tension between him and Eichorst (which is the only reason I think his religion matters.) Also: my mom’s name is Myriam!

One weird thing. Right at the end of the episode there was a glitch and Shawshank Redemption started playing.

Team Gus! Anti-Zompires! I love seeing Jamie Hector playing this anti-Marlo.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:27 PM on September 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

I guess Danzig must be one of the special zompires, since he has the lucidity to put his wig back on
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:40 AM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I’ve been holding my tongue until now

I see what I did there.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:32 AM on September 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

Am I taking crazy pills, or is this not a parasite? Why does the CDC doctor insist on calling it a virus?

Anyway, I'm really happy to see dementia grandma finally die. Apparently Abe has always been bad at doing anything other than killing the grunt vampires, since (once again) his plan was to walk into the haunted castle and... ???

Overall this was a decent episode, and it was nice to Vampire SWAT back.
posted by codacorolla at 8:40 AM on September 29, 2014

Eph: still the worst. Mocking Setrakian's meltdown in the sewer as "Just a senior moment"? How about you try and chase someone for seventy goddamned years, finally getting close enough to kill him for the first time since the Sixties, then have him get away again, and see how rational you stay, you hairpiece that walks like a man?

Speaking of Setrakian, the 1967 version was hella dapper, right down to the little Alpine hat. (High on a hill was a vampire hunter, lay odl lay odl lay hee hoo...)
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 9:12 AM on September 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

Recap time! In which the letter 'v' is added to many words!

This episode was stronger and seems to be heading to a satisfying finale. I swear it's mostly due to the show actually mocking Eph.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:23 AM on September 29, 2014

I dunno how I feel about The Strain at this point. The characters are super meh, which is what usually keeps me interested in a show after the plot proves subpar. Eph is the worst and I don't even know any of the other characters names so that says a lot.

Mostly I'm curious about SWAT vampires, I guess.
posted by Strass at 1:03 PM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh, so when The Master saved Rich Guy ladyStoneheart, The Master cut his finger and poured some ichor into Rich Guy's mouth, but no worm, right?

Does this mean that he's just an immortal human or is this how The Master makes intelligent vampires?
posted by Strass at 1:06 PM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, why did they bother having Nina's mom (oh, apparently I remember Nina's name) talk about how Nina was good at writing in school if Eph never asks for help? Like in what way did that move the narrative forward?
posted by Strass at 1:08 PM on September 29, 2014

I'm assuming that the finger drip is how he made something like Eichorst. As for why they bothered to include extraneous characterization... uh, good question. I guess to give the mother something to do before she became worm food, thereby reaffirming that the two actually love each other and that her death should provoke something other than mild relief? It's not very successful, but that's the feeling I got from that scene.
posted by codacorolla at 1:43 PM on September 29, 2014

Oh, so when The Master saved Rich Guy ladyStoneheart, The Master cut his finger and poured some ichor into Rich Guy's mouth, but no worm, right?

Right.

I'm assuming that the finger drip is how he made something like Eichorst.

No, it was shown that Eichorst got a single worm. So he's a vampire

Also, why did they bother having Nina's mom (oh, apparently I remember Nina's name) talk about how Nina was good at writing in school if Eph never asks for help?

Nora. And hopefully Eph was shown as an idiot because he's about to get some sort of comeuppance.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:58 PM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

No, it was shown that Eichorst got a single worm. So he's a vampire

Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.
posted by codacorolla at 7:05 PM on September 29, 2014

I dunno how I feel about The Strain at this point. The characters are super meh, which is what usually keeps me interested in a show after the plot proves subpar.

But they're so gloriously stupid! They're the idiots who split up to search faster, or who stubbornly refuse to leave the house with the bleeding walls, and that means they run into more monsters who eat them. Who eat them! This is why we are here, to watch monsters eat broad stereotypes, and if the various walking cliches have to be hopped up on goofballs for that to happen then by God we will feed them goofballs. And the vampires seem just as stupid!

I swear it's like watching four week old puppies stumbling around and biting each other.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:56 PM on September 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

then by God we will feed them goofballs

I am going to be remembering this and giggling for days
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 2:10 AM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]

Fet was pret-ty tumescent pleased to see Daryl Hannah's British hacker daughter reappear. Meanwhile, Eph is amassing an impressive track record of screwing the pooch: if you have only 30 seconds, you need to concise-ify your speech so as to get more of the HOW TO KILL THEM info in there, Dr. BadEditor.

I also join the wave of general relief that Nora's mom finally got a relatively quick and painless retirement from being a vaguely offensive kneejerk plot device.
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:40 PM on September 30, 2014 [2 favorites]

That speech. That terrible speech. I really thought F was going to take the hint from Nora's mom and have Nora do the speech.

"There's a virus spreading that turns people into monsters. Sunlight kills them. Don't let the monsters touch you."

There. People are fatigued and scared. Just the basics. Easy to remember and easy to present if you bothered to spend five minutes rehearsing.

F, I don't say this often but you're just the worst.
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 8:14 PM on September 30, 2014 [4 favorites]

Good to see the vampire slayers again. It's a shame so much happened this season that the writers just couldn't fit them into the story more.


Oh, wait . . .
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 8:17 PM on September 30, 2014

So I liked Abe down the well, but why did the zompires down there with him not start to come after him as the sun was setting? It seemed like a missed opportunity to make his climb out even more tense.

(The answer presumably is that Eichorst wanted him alive so he could taunt him further. The added knife-twist of the little adopted zompire boy and girl was a nice touch.)

The shot of rejuvenated Palmer arms-outstretched in the rain: TOTAL SHAWSHANK LIFT.

I too thought the whole debate-club thing was setting up Nina doing the speech instead. But no; just another instance of Eph missing the point. He is the worst.

And hopefully Eph was shown as an idiot because he's about to get some sort of comeuppance.

I LIKE THIS THOUGHT. Killing off the lead: great season-finale twist.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:40 PM on October 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

Wasn't that a great first date?

I liked that they gave her an ambiguous answer to Fet's question; and that he was cool with it.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:45 PM on October 1, 2014

So I liked Abe down the well, but why did the zompires down there with him not start to come after him as the sun was setting? It seemed like a missed opportunity to make his climb out even more tense.

(The answer presumably is that Eichorst wanted him alive so he could taunt him further.)

I fanwanked that since the tunnel was so small, he was able to cut the heads off the vampires as they exited. Once they were all dead, he started his (all night) climb.
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 6:40 PM on October 1, 2014

I actually thought the dialogue between the hibernating nest of vampires (with the one awake one) and Abe was super scary. It scared me, okay? Moments like that are what keep me watching the show (and of course David Bradley).

No one's mentioned the >ICK< factor of keeping your dead wife's worm-infested heart in a jar and talking to it, feeding it blood like it was Audrey II or something. How... romantic.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:13 PM on October 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

High on a hill was a vampire hunter, lay odl lay odl lay hee hoo...

feeding it blood like it was Audrey II or something

I love you people.
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:34 AM on October 2, 2014 [1 favorite]