Hey people who are spoiler police -- how long do I have to wait before I find a screenshot of the Night King riding Valerion, or the smashed wall, and superimpose BUT HER EMAILS on it and post it to facebook?
So did the Others have a plan in case the incredibly unlikely series of events that led to Danny bringing them a dragon didn't happen?
"He said he can see everything that's happening, not know everything that's happening."
• We were so close to #CleganeBowl, so close. But there's still hope.
• Watching all those mini-reunions in the first 10 minutes was a bit heart-breaking. There's no going back.
• Bronn and Tyrion making up was cute.
• Jaimie and Brianne are still in love, right?!
• Cersei and Tyrion's meeting was probably one of my favourite things ever. Such a brother/sister kind of argument. A family feud that will never be settled, that runs deep and yet there's love in there somewhere, a horrid kind of love that only family understands.
• I want a separate show where it's just Sansa as Queen of the North and Arya as Princess Murder-Gets-The-Job-Done!! Just several seasons of them solving crimes and ruling Winterfell.
• Watching Littlefinger beg was very satisfying, more than I imagined. It felt good.
• Theon saving Yara is a story-line that I guess we'll just have to make peace with. That sequence on the beach felt very uninspired and very going through the motions.
• Jaimie calling Cersei's bluff. No preggo for you. Nice try Mrs. Master Manipulator. Fool me once...
• This frees up Jaimie to date Brianne. Because I already ship them in my damn brain. I mean, along with my Queens of the North spin-off show, I also want Jaimie and Brianne travelling around the countryside with Pod, solving crimes Scooby Doo style.
• WRITER/PRODUCER: “Let's make sure that we reveal Jon's parentage while he's fucking his aunt. Just in case our viewers are really stupid. Let's just assume they're stupid as fuck. Let's make sure everyone knows that incest is happening. And let's also make Tyrion stand outside as the most awkward third-wheel ever. Good.”
• Ice dragon was cool but also felt very generic.
So Jon is a Targ. How would this even be proved? Would Jon himself even believe it? The person that knows for sure is dead. Sam knows about records of the marriage but the only other proof of Jons connection to that marriage is Bran and his mystical visions.
Also, like, shouldn’t we have gotten the small folk reacting to the fact that a FUCKING DRAGON flew over Kings Landing? That’s huge and they certainly couldn’t miss it. Creating a sense of wonder around this event and this meetup, and to start spreading news of Dany’s return to Westeros on a smaller scale, would have been really nice additions to worldbulding, but unfortunately that ship has sailed and it is now the goal to make everything as hollow as could be.
Call it the CW effect. Watching Game of Thrones now feels like mainlining a bunch of CW shows like Arrow or Vampire Diaries—or even, sometimes, Jane the Virgin. The pacing is so fast that there are multiple reversals of fortune in one episode, and people go from "hey so we are kind of friends" to "we are totally boinking" in 40 minutes. I should say that I love a lot of CW shows, and I'm definitely not opposed to fast pacing. But part of Game of Thrones' appeal was a stately, complex layering of circumstances that gave us a sense of the tragic loss so many characters have suffered. So this season's choices felt like stylistic whiplash.
At times, season 7 felt like one of those montages you get during the credits to a movie, when you see rapid-fire snippets of what everybody did after the action was over: The Night King got his groove back with a cool blue dragon (who inexplicably does not have a frost breath weapon)! Daenerys and Jon aka Aegon finally got together! Littlefinger was brought up on charges of betrayal and paid the ultimate price! The Hound is still messing things up in a lovable way! Bran became an ultra wizard! And so forth. Except usually there is some kind of resolution before you get the snapshots of "life after the story ends."
That said, there are good reasons why season 7 had to move at breakneck speed. There was so much to resolve that the action was bound to feel a little pat and cheesy. I don't think any of us would have been satisfied with a more thoughtfully paced conclusion that dealt with the White Walkers while leaving the fate of Westeros ambiguous. So the writers had to cut some corners.
Sadly — and this is why I maintain that the show hasn't pulled up from its nosedive — the episode's reliance on black boxes that enable fun but improbable plot twists meant the scene was undercut in retrospect. To clarify: The crucial part of that scene — the part where Tyrion says whatever he presumably said to convince Cersei to join the fight, and she convinced him she'd agreed — was missing.
One sympathizes, because it's an almost impossible scene to write. How would Cersei's concession have gone? How can you write it without Tyrion seeming, well, stupid? "Cersei, you must care about your unborn child! I know you do. So do I. Join this fight and build a better world!" "You have appealed to my mother's heart! I will give more than you ask for and demand nothing in return!" Sorry, but that's just not Cersei, and even Tyrion would know that. I know Tyrion has been retconned into a gullible incompetent this season, with such a poor understanding of his sister that he thought the wight quest would convince her. I appreciate the tragic turn his character has taken, and how his guilt over betraying his family might cloud his judgment. I still don't believe that even dumbed-down Tyrion would fall for any version of Cersei's concessions here. Game of Thrones is rife with Conversations That Must Have Happened in order for events to make sense, but this particular one is about as plausible as Jon Snow correctly reading the room. It's about as believable as a scene that starts with Sam and Bran bringing the Septon's journal to Cersei and ends with her nodding sadly and handing Jon Snow the crown.
Here's why that's a problem: It's so hard to imagine this Conversation That Must Have Happened that some fans have started coming up with more plausible theories for Conversations That Must Have Happened More: Maybe Tyrion secretly struck a deal with Cersei to make her child the heir to Daenerys' throne! Maybe Tyrion is lamenting his role in ending the Lannisters — more on his tragedy here — and sees this as a way to make amends. Maybe he's reverted to the Lannisters entirely and is ready to kill Daenerys — hence his creeping behind the staircase!
I don't believe any of that. I suspect Tyrion's hangdog loyalty to Daenerys is real because I trust that a well-written show would give me a sign or two if it wasn't. (Yes, Tyrion has expressed some misgivings about the burning of the Tarlys, but he's surely noticed that Daenerys has otherwise followed every plan he's made to the letter — the Casterly Rock siege, the wight quest, letting him go alone to talk to Cersei — despite the fact that they've all ended disastrously.)
On the other hand, the show is so untrustworthy at this point that it might easily be withholding crucial information from us in order to "surprise" viewers with the reveal later. That is, after all, what it did with the Arya and Sansa storyline that resulted in Petyr Baelish's death. We saw the Stark girls at each other's throats last week — in private, so they couldn't possibly have been performing their dysfunction for Littlefinger. But the chilly, almost murderous distance the sisters had developed over two episodes somehow thawed.
How? During a Conversation That Must Have Happened that we — who have been spent years waiting for and tracking this relationship — have the privilege of guessing at.
Why? So we can be as stunned as Petyr Baelish when he's outfoxed.
Don't get me wrong: It's gratifying to see a disconcerted Baelish pleading for his life, and there's malicious symmetry to Sansa quoting him back to himself. But Baelish getting executed (however satisfying that was) is not the story. How Arya and Sansa and Bran stopped being dysfunctional weirdos and came back together to defeat him is the story. And it got skipped. It was withheld. It's a black box.
In that darkness the White Walkers came for the first time. They swept through cities and kingdoms, riding their dead horses, hunting with their packs of pale spiders big as hounds.
> It was kind of annoying when Bronn said 'Come with me, Pod, we're not in this scene.'
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