FanFare

The crew of Earth spaceship Bacchus III deals with various problems, culminating with showdowns with Ken's old girlfriend out of a murder vendetta against him, and the kabuki leader of the Star Wolves himself. Two-fisted Japanese pseudo-Star Wars space adventures with surprisingly great music that was edited into near incomprehensibility by Sandy Frank Productions. It's the sequel to Fugitive Alien, which was slightly more lucid. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Feb 20, 2019 - 4 comments

Rewatch! What do you get when you cross a beach movie with a heist movie? Nothing good! It does contain a musical number by Little Richard. This movie marks the establishment of the rule that MST3K would avoid comedies, but it's still a fairly well-remembered episode from the show's classic era. With this film, we're back in Joel territory for a while! Previously
posted by JHarris on Feb 13, 2019 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Super-thief Diabolik steals stuff in a series of wildly implausible heists, such is his hunger to have sex in, on, or in front of valuable things with his girlfriend Eva Kant (who seems to be misnamed). It's based on an Italian comic book. You know, in that country Donald Duck is a superhero. Italian comics are weird, is what I'm sayin'. Again, this was the last episode of the classic series. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Feb 6, 2019 - 10 comments

Shocking terror! Hideous and ridiculous monsters crawl out of the sea! "It had ping-pong balls for eyes!" shrieked one overacting eyewitness! Another moaned unconvincingly, "Oh the carnage, the bad costumes, the poor cinematography!" Will no one put a stop to the atrocities committed by this director and his crew? In subplot news, Pearl and Brain Guy are in ancient Rome. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jan 31, 2019 - 7 comments

Rewatch! A small car cosplaying as a big big spider terrorizes a town as we continue through the best classic episodes as selected by poll. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jan 24, 2019 - 9 comments

Rewatch! There's a "counter-Earth" that's on the opposite side of the sun as the normal Earth, the same gimmick from Stranded in Space, but this one's not Authoritarian Dystopia (movie premise #218) so much as Burroughsian Otherworld Barbarian-Style Sword-and-Sorcery Made Possible Through MacGuffin (premise #245). Our many-man hero Cabot (Cabot? Cabot!) travels there through magic crackerjack prize, along with his unmanly-man professorial colleague, and must thwart the machinations of a slumming Jack Palance. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 31, 2018 - 3 comments

Rewatch! A ridiculous film where an ageless giant living in the California desert, lured out by a teenage girl, finds her creepy father, her annoying boyfriend, bad rock n roll, and policeman's bullets. Eegah have bad day. We're continuing on the episodes picked out by online poll. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Oct 25, 2018 - 6 comments

Rewatch! And...oh hell. We're back in Coleman Francis territory. The least interesting(!) of the three films he made that MST covered, I seem to remember it's about skydiving, marital strife and murder via parachute. Honestly, I have tons of trouble staying awake through this one. I recommend coffee over alcohol. At least one of the show's best shorts, Why Study Industrial Arts?, is also in this episode. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 18, 2018 - 7 comments

Rewatch! The last of the MST Gamera movies, in which an alien bowl of Trix invades the Earth and hypnotizes folk, but fortunately they can be revived just by getting in their face and shouting "Aaaa!" at them. Another of the films tied for 50th place in our poll. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Oct 10, 2018 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Come to see a bunch of cut-rate LARPers roaming the enchanted countryside, stay for Apeula. Because: Apeula. Also, we got the start of the subplot that takes us to the end of the season, Kinga forcing Jonah to marry her for ratings gold, to the dismay of Max.
posted by JHarris on Jul 19, 2018 - 3 comments

Rewatch! Another giant lizard terrorizes an Asian city, although this time it's Seoul, not Tokyo. Along the way we meet a perfectly obnoxious little boy. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jul 12, 2018 - 8 comments

Rewatch! We embark on the second half of Season 11 with everyone's favorite ancient Greek lump of flesh as he romances some ladies. Previously.
posted by JHarris on Jul 5, 2018 - 3 comments

Rewatch! "'The Land That Slipped Time's Mind,' or 'The McClure That the Simpsons Forgot,' or 'T-Rex Meets U-Boat but Y?'" What first seems to be a wartime drama about Allied prisoners on a U-Boat trying to take it over changes when they discover a dinosaur-filled lost world. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 28, 2018 - 3 comments

Rewatch! "'The Giving Away the Ending Hall of Fame' or 'Former Evangelist Marjoe Prays for a Better Movie!'" One of the few movies in MST history where the film's badness may, itself, be more entertaining than the riffs. Starcrash is a ludicrous mess, but still lots of fun, with its skimpy space bikini, texas-talking robot, giant mecha-amazon, Marjoe Gortner as a Jedi with the serial numbers filed off, David Hasselhoff as David Hasselhoff, and a seriously slumming Christopher Plummer. I could go on! [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 20, 2018 - 10 comments

Rewatch! "Tyrannosaurus Tex-Mex," or "Mexican Dinosaurs Aren't Just for Tacos!" So much of this movie is just a standard Western, UNTIL.... [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 14, 2018 - 7 comments

Rewatch! "'Ski Faster!' or 'Half a Lanche Is Better Than None,' or 'Rock Hudson Slide!' or 'Not the Last Resort But Close.'" Rock Hudson ignores safety warnings when building his resort, and tragedy ensues. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on Jun 7, 2018 - 5 comments

Rewatch! Some scientists find themselves stuck in a future time where the last civilized humans are trying to escape a barren Earth. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris on May 30, 2018 - 4 comments

Rewatch! In the year since it was first shown, Cry Wilderness has shaped up to be one of the best episodes of MST3K's eleventh season. It's an exceedingly ludicrous movie with a magic Bigfoot, one of those noble Native American spirit people, and a jerkass US Marshall who thinks nothing about breaking into someone's home and eating their food. Previously.
posted by JHarris on May 23, 2018 - 4 comments

Rewatch! Starting in on Season 11, Reptilicus, and the show's new premise and cast. It's been a year since Season 11 debuted, how does it hold up? Previously.
posted by JHarris on May 16, 2018 - 4 comments