All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite: January 31, 2024

January 31, 2024 5:15 PM - Season 5, Episode 18

Hangman Page and Swerve Strickland continue their toxic yaoi feud in two "dealer's choice" matches, where each of them choose each other's appointment. Moxley and Jeff Hardy have their first 1-on-1 match ever, Jericho deals with another member of the Don Callis Family and "Timeless" Toni Storm observes a match between the two biggest challengers to her title.

The announced card for tonight:

Chris Jericho vs. Kyle Fletcher

Taya Valkyrie vs. Deonna Purrazzo (with AEW Women’s World Champion Toni Storm on commentary)

Dealer’s Choice Match: Adam Page vs. Toa Liona

Dealer’s Choice: Swerve Strickland vs. ???
(AEW World Champion Samoa Joe will be on commentary)

Jon Moxley vs. Jeff Hardy

posted by The Pluto Gangsta (11 comments total)

Moxley didn't even make it out of the first quarter-hour before he stole Excalibur's pen off the commentary table and started playing gross twisting games with Jeff Hardy's distended earlobe holes. It probably doesn't actually hurt but man does it give me the jibblies.

And hey! They also announced Wardlow vs. Komander as a late addition, probably so that the CMLL guys in the audience have someone to get super-pissy with.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 5:16 PM on January 31

Taz, seeing Toa Liona approach the announce desk: "He just kept getting bigger as he got closer to the desk!"
Excalibur: *tries real hard not to explain field of view*
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 5:32 PM on January 31

Hangman tried mightily to drop Liona on his head with a Deadeye, forgetting that the Tongan skull is impervious to damage. (And that's not a racial stereotype, that's actually the story being told in the ring, as Liona had already utilized both headbutts and flying headbutts.). In the end, they both did a good job reading each others' moves, with Liona not allowing Page to dodge a senton a second time and ducking a Buckshot lariat, and Page figuring how to counter one of the bigger man's power moves into a crucifix pin.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 5:45 PM on January 31

Adam Cole out here on commentary trying to explain to the audience why Undisputed Kingdom why they're not really heels, they're just trying to encourage everyone to be their best, like how they encourage Wardlow to knee poor Komander in the face and hurl his tiny body around the ring. (Although Komander did manage to get Wardlow in a nasty huracanrana into the stairs, and also borrowed a Fenix Splash for a close two-count.)
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 5:53 PM on January 31

Between Don Callis Family and Undisputed Kingdom, it feels like each of them is one-half of an effective heel stable: UK is coming off the hot storyline and declare that they all want championships, but their members are (to be frank) fairly interchangeable dudes who look like someone took all the default settings in AEW's videogame. Meanwhile Callis' guys are each killers on their own, any of them headliners, but for storyline purposes these three talented fighters are only interested in beating Chris Jericho, who hasn't held a title since 2022.

Still the match was pretty good, with Fletcher being briefed on Jericho's moves and having some counters ready, but Jericho being such a veteran that he can gut through the worst strikes and find his opening for the Judas elbow.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 6:12 PM on January 31

If you're watching the American television feed, you're unfortunately missing Toni corpsing the commentary team:

"I was going to tell Taya 'chin up, tits out' but I see she got the message."
To Taz, re suplexes: "Darling it's pronounced 'soo-PLAY'"
Also accusing Excalbur of secretly being Mike Adamle under the mask, and suggesting he give the mask to Schiavone so he can cover up his "Anton LaVey beard".
"Someone's pissed on my seat! Is that how you run things around here?"

Unfortunately the camera work was rather amateurish this week, and so the camera moved away early from Purrazzo applying a funky submission hold to Taya.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 6:36 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]

It’s pronounced “sou-play.”

Someone’s pissed in my seat!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 6:37 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]

Hardcore match? With Rob Van Dam?? ON A WEDNESDAY??
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 6:48 PM on January 31

Samoa Joe’s face was a real study I tell ya
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 6:49 PM on January 31

Yup he is 100% marking out here.
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 6:51 PM on January 31

“Congratulations you evil bastard” - the only celebratory card or slack I am ever sending for the rest of my days
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:04 PM on January 31 [1 favorite]