Murder, She Wrote: Paint Me a Murder   Rewatch 
October 4, 2014 2:19 PM - Season 1, Episode 16 - Subscribe

Renowned painter Diego Santana hosts his 60th birthday on his "island paradise," but someone is tries to kill him. The island can only be accessed by boat or helicopter, so when someone tries to kill Diego, it has to be one of his close friends or family. Can Jessica Fletcher solve the murder plot and save Diego, or at least catch the culprit(s) before they flee the island?
posted by filthy light thief (1 comment total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
An episode that starts with Diego playing Spanish guitar, and a precarious statue? I'm in!

There's another snarky breakfast with alcohol, in which it becomes clear that Willard Kaufmann (Robert Goulet) apparently has no gift, besides drinking heavily in the morning. "I can see this is going to be a hell of a party." With that, here are my sequential thoughts on the episode:
  • When Insp. Henry Kyle saying that most lady murder mystery authors are "cold fish," with "all this nonsense about bodies buried in rose gardens," I was really hoping this was some foreshadowing.
  • Regarding the huge bust of Diego: "Look how you've captured his expression." What with that rictus grin, and his elderly slouch.
  • Oh, a love triangle! And a son who has (drug?) problems. Add in once-famous friends who are now broke, and an attempt on Diego's life, there are so many complexities, and on a remote island (bum bum BUM!)
  • Diego, at his own birthday party: "As you know my dear friend Elaine McComber, has devoted most of her adult life to the welfare of underprivileged children throughout the African continent. She has always had my love and admiration, but it's time I presented her with a more tangible expression of my admiration." Because you've worked so hard to end the suffering of African children, have this terrifying painting of suffering African children!
  • The would-be killer wore gloves, but left the cigarette butt and match book? What kind of second-rate hit job was that?
  • "Oh, I'm dying, I'm dying!" Way to grab attention, Willard. Everyone was having a nice talk until you started having a "heart attack," and then his daughter shoved him in the water?
  • Diego: "The threat of death hangs over this paradise," such a poet.
  • Elaine McComber, after her mother stopped playing piano: "I never heard her play. I wish I had." But she just did!
  • Sir John to Elaine: "I've never heard of your philanthorpic efforts, but they sound worthy. Let me sell your painting, sans fees." So generous.
  • Hey Jessica, thanks for converting kilos to pounds.
  • Diego: "I'm sorry, Margo. I find it hard to recognize the darker side of my fellow man. Particularly those who are close to me." (Meaningful look at Margo, who is physically the closest to him.)
  • Diego, talking about the crossbow: "Actually, Miguel is the expert.He is a true magician with this instrument." Magician of ... killing?
  • "Kauffman was dead broke." "On his uppers." But rich in downers?
  • When "accidents" fail, you can rely on the 'magic' of the crossbow
  • Jessica to Inspector Henry: "I can't trust you, but I'll tell you about the boat I just saw on the beach."
  • Miguel Santana, what accent are you trying to play?
  • Jessica makes the worst beachside zen gardens.
  • My, what distinctively gloved hands, detective
  • Oh right, Stefan, the Bulgarian scientist turned renowned sculptor.
  • More spooky whispers, just like in My Johnny Lies Over the Ocean.
  • "I confess! I'm right-handed!" Ha! Sir John, you're a cut-up ... AND A KILLER!
  • How often will people dismiss JB's theories as fiction pulled from her books?
  • Sir John: "This confrontation is beginning to take on a sexist overtone." Wha?
  • Just how many doors are in this room? And did Jess choreograph this group accusation?
  • Jessica to Inspector Henry: "I can stop by and visit you for a few hours." Henry, in response: "Or a few evenings? I shall be at the airport to greet you. Flowers in hand, heart on sleeve, and perhaps a murder to solve?" Oh, Henry, you really know how to woo a murder-writing lady.

posted by filthy light thief at 9:38 AM on October 5, 2014

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