Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE STARFIGHTERS   Rewatch 
September 5, 2018 11:25 PM - Season 6, Episode 12 - Subscribe

Former Republican Congressman Bob Dornan stars in this reprehensible promotional piece for both a terrible aircraft and the US Air Force. This is the episode that gave us the "poopy suit," the "song about stock footage," and the United Servo Academy Men's Chorus. This is the beginning of MST Club's encore run of the top 50+, determined by poll, of MST3K episodes. For more information, please click through.

The first version of MST Club was a sequential run through every episode (excluding KTMA), starting with 101 THE CRAWLING EYE and ending with 1114 AT THE EARTH'S CORE. We also watched Season 11 a second time each when it first came out. That has not concluded.

Seeing this day coming, we started an online poll to get everyone's favorite episode. A UK MST Twitter account even picked up the poll and retweeted it, so we got 31 responses in all! The overall results, which were rather surprising, will be given in the comments to this post.

Our overall plans are now to start at about 50th place (which is a large tie) and work our way up. I'll soon be starting a new poll BTW; I'll provide a link to it when it's ready.

However. There was an error when I made the first poll. I left out The Starfighters, the terrible and boring movie starring Bob Dornan mentioned in the description. I eventually added it, but by then about 20 people had already voted, so it didn't get its fair shake in the poll. To make up for that, we're going to watch it as our first episode as what we might call a "dishonorable discharge."
posted by JHarris (11 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
MST Club's weekly showings begin at 7 PM Eastern time, for pre-roll material (usually another movie, Rifftrax or episode), with the main event, that week's posted episode, at 9 PM Eastern. Viewings are at https://cytu.be/r/Metafilter_MST3KClub.

One thing I forgot to mention in the post is that we're going to skip Season 11 episodes in the list, since we've just seen them all. By the time we're done with this, Season 12 will probably be around before that's done, and we'll take a break from the best-of progress for that.

Here is the results of the poll. It was conducted as a long list of checkboxes, so anyone could choose to vote for everything if they wanted, or else nothing. Google's poll system cut off about halfway through, so only the top 100-or-so are represented here:

1. THE PUMAMAN (20)
2. I ACCUSE MY PARENTS (19)
3. THIS ISLAND EARTH (17, MST The Movie)
3. SPACE MUTINY (17)
5. TIME CHASERS (15)
5- STARCRASH (15, S11)
7. MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE (14)
7. MITCHELL (14)
7. LASERBLAST (14)
7. OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK (14)
11. SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (12)
11. MASTER NINJA I (12)
11. DANGER!! DEATH RAY (12)
11. WEREWOLF (12)
11. THE FINAL SACRIFICE (12)
11. SOULTAKER (12)
11. MERLIN'S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS (12)
18. GAMERA (11)
18. POD PEOPLE (11)
18. ALIEN FROM L.A. (11)
18. ANGEL'S REVENGE (11)
18. PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR (11)
18. HOBGOBLINS (11)
18. GIRLS TOWN (11)
25. THE CREEPING TERROR (10)
25. RED ZONE CUBA (10)
25. PRINCE OF SPACE (10)
25- CRY WILDERNESS (10, S11)
29. GAMERA VS. BARUGON (9)
29. GAMERA VS. GAOS (9)
29. GAMERA VS. GUIRON (9)
29. THE BEATNIKS (9)
29. SECRET AGENT SUPER DRAGON (9)
29. OPERATION DOUBLE 007 (9)
29. DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL (9)
29. RIDING WITH DEATH (9)
29- CARNIVAL MAGIC (9)
29. CODE NAME: DIAMOND HEAD (8)
39. CATALINA CAPER
39. STAR FORCE: FUGITIVE ALIEN II
39. THE WILD WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN
39. SANTA CLAUS
39. THE DEAD TALK BACK
39. QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS
39. FINAL JUSTICE
39- AVALANCHE (S11)
39- WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM (S11)
39. ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE
39. SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL
50. DIABOLIK (7)
50. GAMER VS. ZIGRA
50. WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST
50. TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE
50. HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN
50. TORMENTED
50. EEGAH
50. OUTLAW
50. THE SKYDIVERS
50. THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION
50. JACK FROST
50. GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS
50. THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH
(cutoff here)
63. ROBOT HOLOCAUST (6)
63. MOON ZERO TWO
63. GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
63. FUGITIVE ALIEN
63. IT CONQUERED THE WORLD
63. MASTER NINJA II
63. BRIDE OF THE MONSTER
63. THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE
63. HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT
63. SAMSON VS THE VAMPIRE WOMEN
63. ESCAPE 2000
63. DEVIL DOLL
63- WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM II
63. RADAR SECRET SERVICE
63. NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST
63. TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000
63. AGENT FOR H.A.R.M.
63. TEENAGE STRANGLER
63. I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF
82. THE SIDEHACKERS (5)
82. RING OF TERROR
82. WILD REBELS
82. EARTH VS THE SPIDER
82. CITY LIMITS
82. THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS
82. MONSTER A-GO-GO
82. BEGINNING OF THE END
82. INVASION USA
82. THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS
82. THE THING THAT COULDN'T DIE
82. THE TOUCH OF SATAN
82. BOGGY CREEK II: AND THE LEGEND CONTINUES
82. GODZILLA VS THE SEA MONSTER
82. RACKET GIRLS
82. LAST OF THE WILD HORSES
82. THE LEECH WOMAN
82. THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN
82- REPTILICUS
101+: remainder

Note: THE STARFIGHTERS accidently got left out of the initial version of the poll. There may have been one other exclusion too, I don't remember it though.

Notable rejects (IMO): ROBOT MONSTER, PROJECT MOONBASE, CAVE DWELLERS, TIME OF THE APES, WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST (for Mr. B Natural), CITY LIMITS, THE KILLER SHREWS, THE MAGIC SWORD, HERCULES AND THE CAPTIVE WOMEN, ATTACK OF THE THE EYE CREATURES, THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE, WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD, THE MAGIC VOYAGE OF SINBAD, THE SWORD AND THE DRAGON, THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES, BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z, THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN, YONGARY.
posted by JHarris at 11:31 PM on September 5


Oh, one more thing. At DragonCon they had another MST3K double feature showing. As I am wont to do, I showed up, and as has happened every time I've done that, I've won something at trivia. First time it was a Blu-Ray of Santa Claus (it's glorious); the second, a poster from the MST3K live reunion show. This time however, I scored big: A complete boxed set of Season 11, the same edition as was sent out to the Kickstarter backers! Hooray! Hikeeba!

(What piece of knowledge made me deserving of so princely a gift? I half-remembered that the "Shine Your Love" song came from Angels Revenge.)
posted by JHarris at 11:35 PM on September 5 [5 favorites]


what we might call a "dishonorable discharge."

Apt and well-played, SIR!
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 2:49 AM on September 6


I said it before and I'll say it again, "Sharpen that airplane!" is the top MST3K riff of all time.
posted by Mogur at 3:18 AM on September 6 [3 favorites]


“Is your face lumpy? Misshapen? Join the Air Force.”

“Wow, he has a scorched face policy!”

“Where are you boys from?” “Russia.”
posted by Servo5678 at 4:25 AM on September 6


These ratings are clearly all wrong!

(says the guy who didn't vote)
posted by Chrysostom at 8:50 AM on September 6


Starfighters is one of my very favorites.
Wrote a post about it.
Liketahearithereitgo!
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 2:43 PM on September 7 [1 favorite]


CO: Your plane will be a barely controllable rocket with what can only charitably be called wings and highly unreliable electronics and hydraulics.

Me: Fine, sure, whatever.

CO: You will need to make a cross-country and trans-atlantic flight in a your single-seat plane while wearing a garment whose least offensive nickname is "poopie suit".

Me: I demand an immediate transfer to Strategic Air Command.
posted by ckape at 11:21 PM on September 7 [1 favorite]


I didnt vote either, but I wish Batwoman had been higher ranked. It's definitely one of my top 5. Pumaman? It's good, I guess. I always felt it dragged in places. Mike is my favorite, though, I doubt any Joel episodes would make my top 5.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:15 PM on September 8 [1 favorite]


It's been a long time since I've watched this one, mostly I remember one of the characters is from Iowa. MST3K, being from Minnesota, told a few jokes at her expense. (Though my favorite Iowa reference is from the short about Home Economics from Iowa State.)

In any case, Bob Dornan was a US Senator for years. This is indeed a disturbing universe.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 10:27 PM on September 10


He was a Congressman, not a Senator.
posted by Chrysostom at 11:20 PM on September 10


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