Mystery Science Theater Club
A place to talk about our quest to group-watch, over the Internet, the entire 198-episode cable run of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Bad movies with good friends! MST3K episodes on FanFare.
Posts for this club should be tagged: mysterysciencetheater_club.
January 20
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PAINTED HILLS Rewatch Season 5, Episode 10
Rewatch! Go get your snausages, it's time to watch MST3K's one and only Lassie movie! Although in this one her name is "Shep," and she's more of a menacing presence than the friendly, loyal and English-understanding collie of TV. Her prospector owner is killed by someone trying to steal his claim, and she wants nothing of it. Ask not for whom the dog growls.... Also has Body Care and Grooming, a short, the last short Joel riffed during his tenure as host. Previously
January 13
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE GIRL IN LOVERS LANE Rewatch Season 5, Episode 9
Ah, rewatch! Drifting seems a fine use of your time, right? That's what a couple of guys just roaming around, Danny and Bix, think. But then they go to a town and they break the Drifter Code: they get involved with local girls. And then a pointlessly stupid tragedy occurs that makes you question why you even cared about the story in the first place. Previously. There is some Club news inside. [more inside]
January 2
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OPERATION DOUBLE 007 Rewatch Season 5, Episode 8
Re-rewatch! When James Bond is busy, who you gonna call? Neil Connery, Sean's brother, in this hugely weird Italian spy movie with a bad guy who employs a platoon of evil women, and a hero who's kind of a jerk, although pretty much an invincible one. Previously and again. We're nearing the end of Joel's tenure as host again.
December 23
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTA CLAUS Rewatch Season 5, Episode 21
Re-rewatch! As any child knows, Santa Claus lives in a castle in the sky high above the North Pole, the center of a surveillance network that spans the globe. Living with him is Merlin and an international horde of kids who sing and help him make toys. But the forces of darkness no like this, and so Satan sends his lieutenant Pitch to thwart his gift-giving journey, threatening the lactose-intolerant demon with eating ice cream should he fail. If you think that sounds crazy, it's only the beginning of this profoundly strange movie. Previously and again
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS Rewatch Season 3, Episode 21
Re-rewatch! One of MST3K's three (to date) Christmas movies, and one of their weirdest subjects overall. Martians, upset that their children are becoming joyless drones, come to Earth to kidnap Santa Claus to try to make them jolly again. Opposed to this is the villainous Martian Voldar, who doesn't want happy Martian children becoming a nuisance. And then there's Dropo.... Previously and again
December 16
Mystery Science Theater 3000: I ACCUSE MY PARENTS Rewatch Season 5, Episode 7
Re-re-re-watch! One additional "re" because this episode appeared during Turkey Day 2020! Is it a bit surprising that this episode is so beloved by fans? There's no malevolent stuffed toys, no Snuffleupigan aliens, no thrilling zamboni chases, no Mitchell, no Rowsdower, no giant turtle, no Torgo, no Ken, or Ken. Just the lying kid of a couple of rich drunk parents who turns to a life... of crime. The moment that makes this one for me is when Joel and the bots have built a mobile representing all the various contributing factors to Jimmy's problems, one of them is just the huge word STUPID floating by right in front of the camera. There's also the short The Truck Farmer, which, surprise, has little to do with trucks. Previousy, and again. This is the last MST Club episode show before the holidays--more info inside. [more inside]
December 12
Mystery Science Theater 3000: EEGAH Rewatch Season 5, Episode 6
Rewatch! What secrets lie, unknown, in the depths of the California desert? Apparently a caveman, given long life by sulfur water. He falls for a 60s teen, paws at her while her watching father makes sarcastic comments, licks shaving cream with his tongue, and eventually is shot by police and ends up dead in a pool. Remember, now, always, and forever, watch out for snakes. Previously and again
December 10
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MAGIC VOYAGE OF SINBAD Rewatch Season 5, Episode 5
Rewatch! As multiple observers note, "That's not Sinbad!" It isn't. It's Sadko, a movie production of what was originally an opera, although there are no songs here. The main character was renamed Sinbad because he had better name recognition. All the same, this is an excellent episode of our favorite cowtown puppet show. Previously
December 6
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SECRET AGENT SUPER DRAGON Rewatch Season 5, Episode 4
Rewatch! The secret-agentish MST movie that doesn't have Neil Connery, Bart Fargo (Bart Fargo Bart Fargo), an international superthief or was made for TV. It doesn't involve James Bond, but it was made in Italy. Previously
December 2
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SWAMP DIAMONDS Rewatch Season 5, Episode 3
Rewatch! Lady cop goes undercover in a prison and helps a number of prisoners break out in the hopes they'll lead her to stolen loot. Okay movie, but the short, What To Do On A Date, is excellent riffing. Previously
November 29
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HERCULES Rewatch Season 5, Episode 2
Rewatch! Back to Greece, with the original Hercules, starring Steve Reeves! Don't step on all the pecs laying around everywhere! Previously
November 22
Mystery Science Theater 3000: WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD Rewatch Season 5, Episode 1
Rewatch! A sullen, mumbly, anti-social, anti-heroic loaner (played by That Paper Chase Guy) in a post-apocalyptic world turns out to be the only hope for the future of humanity. It's a whole distasteful genre (Waterworld is a prominent example), but this one contains an extremely irritating talking motorcycle. But at least it's got Donald Pleasence in it. It's the beginning of Season 5 of MST3K, Joel Hodgson's last as host. Previously
November 16
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE Rewatch Season 4, Episode 24
Re-rewatch! It's been only a little more than a year since the last time we hit this, the movie most identified with Mystery Science Theater 3000, as part of the "best of" sequence we did. It's still one of the very worst movies they riffed, although it's a lot better known now than it was when they first aired this episode in 1993. Previously and again
November 15
Mystery Science Theater 3000: BRIDE OF THE MONSTER Rewatch Season 4, Episode 23
Rewatch! An Ed Wood movie with Bela Lugosi and Tor Johnson that isn't Plan 9 From Outer Space, it's still quite, quite awful. This episode also has part 1 of "Hired!", the Chevrolet/Jam Handy short. Previously
November 11
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE Rewatch Season 4, Episode 22
Rewatch! For a change a fairly charming, fairy-tale-like Russo-Finnish production, a story from the Kalevala having to do with the SAMPO. Still a pretty riffable movie though! Previously
November 7
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HUMAN DUPLICATORS Rewatch Season 4, Episode 20
Rewatch! EHT! NAMUH! SROTACILPUD! Richard Kiel is an evil space guy who is making duplicates of world leaders in preparation to take over the world. His character here is pretty evil, but Kiel himself was a real sweetheart. Previously
November 1
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE REBEL SET Rewatch Season 4, Episode 19
Rewatch! At our accelerated pace we're careening through the history of the show, and already we're nearing the end of Joel's last full (pre-revival) season. This is the one where the Chief from Get Smart (Edward Platt) tries to rob a train. There is a short, Johnny at the Fair, where a kid explores a World's Fair and meets Joe Louis and "the Hellzapoppin' boys," and is narrated by Lorne Greene, apparently! Previously
October 29
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ATTACK OF THE THE EYE CREATURES Rewatch Season 4, Episode 18
As the repeated "THE" in the title should warn you, this is an exceptionally bad movie, perhaps one of the worst. The premise is, aliens are attacking and the only ones who know are the local teens, who take it upon themselves to destroy the sinister threat from outer space by turning on their cars' high beams. There's a subplot(?) about a couple of army guys watching things via surveillance, and another concerning a pair of roommates. This is the episode that gave us the line, "You see folks, they just didn't care." Previously. BTW, tonight is MST Club's Halloween show!
October 25
Mystery Science Theater 3000: CRASH OF MOONS Rewatch Season 4, Episode 17
Rewatch! As I mentioned the previous time this episode has come up, the title of this is reported in the episode as "Crash of THE Moons," but on the title card of the movie it's "Crash of Moons." It's the other compilation of Rocky Jones, Space Ranger TV episodes repackaged as a movie; the first was 413 MANHUNT IN SPACE. This is the one with John Banner, Sgt. Schultz himself as a jovial space guy. There's a General Hospital clip included as a short as well. Bit of a content warning, the TV show was made at a time in which the G-word, for Romani (and shared as a name with the show's big purple robot), was more commonly used, and the guys on the show make reference to it often. In MST3K's most recent incarnation (the stage show), it should be noted, this character has been rechristened G.P.T. Previously
October 22
Mystery Science Theater 3000: FIRE MAIDENS FROM OUTER SPACE Rewatch Season 4, Episode 16
Rewatch! Astronauts land on a planet of lonely women, refugees from Atlantis. They have a problem with a monster, but the manly explorers from Earth take care of it. This is the episode with "Timmy," an evil alien Crow who causes problems during host segments. Previously
October 18
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BEATNIKS Rewatch Season 4, Episode 15
Re-rewatch! Written and directed by Paul Frees (the voice of Boris Badenov), these characters are not really beatniks, they're more young criminals. But one of them can sing, and that gives him the worth to be lifted up out of his life of crime. There's a General Hospital clip before the movie too. A somewhat popular episode, but not many people's favorite? Previously, and again
October 15
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TORMENTED Rewatch Season 4, Episode 14
Re-rewatch! Tom Stewart's about to get married, but girlfriend Vi throws a fuss. But then he refuses to save her when she falls off a lighthouse, and now she's a ghost causing big problems for Tom. Tom becomes less and less relatable as he kills people to protect his secret. A weird and creepy movie, not really that bad but easy for robotic mockery to sink its geared teeth into. Another movie from Bert I. Gordon. Previously, and again
October 11
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MANHUNT IN SPACE Rewatch Season 4, Episode 13
Rewatch! Another repackaging of TV shows as a "movie," but this time of the old space craze adventure show Rocky Jones, Space Ranger. It doesn't hold up too well. As a short, we have an episode from what may be the first season of the soap opera General Hospital. I think this episode is kind of a sleeper, personally. It's not the last Rocky Jones compilation movie MST would do. Previously
October 8
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HERCULES AND THE CAPTIVE WOMEN Rewatch Season 4, Episode 12
Rewatch! This is the last peplum (plural pepla, those swords-and-sandals movies with big muscle-bound guys in miniskirts throwing rocks around, usually starring Herules or Maciste) MST3K would do for a while. Unlike what they say at the end, it's not the last Hercules movie they would do. I will now read off the scroll of heroic deeds and minor trivia attributable to Hercules in this head-scratching addition to his mythology: he has a son, Hylas, and a friend, Androcles, who between them kidnaps him away from home life so he can have adventures, he finds Atlantis, kills the god Proteus (who can turn into animals), and rescues its princess but this means according to prophecy that Atlantis will be destroyed. Uh-oh! This is the movie from which the phrase dedicated to Uranus comes from. Previously
October 4
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MAGIC SWORD Rewatch Season 4, Episode 11
Rewatch! One of Bert I. Gordon's better efforts, a fairy-tale-like story involving Basil Rathbone as an evil wizard, Estelle Winwood as a friendly witch, and a prince trying to rescue a princess from a dragon, and a traitorous knight, and curses and swords and stuff. Roll for initiative! Previously
September 30
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN Rewatch Season 4, Episode 10
Re-rewatch! It's a Maciste ("my cheesesteak") movie rebranding the main character into Hercules for US distribution. Imagine TV's Frank saying, in his freaked-out voice from Joel's invention exchange, "HERCULES... against the MOON MEN!" Prepare yourself for DEEP HURTING. Previously and again
September 27
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE INDESTRUCTABLE MAN Rewatch Season 4, Episode 9
Rewatch! Consider the vast field of scientific endeavor, viewed through the eyes of a B movie screen writer, or those of a blockbuster screenwriter for that matter. If you don't understand it, you figure, no one else does either. In this way, such things as electricity, radiation, DNA, evolution, robotics and anything else dealing with computers are used as stand-ins for whatever effect the writer wants, regardless of how possible it may be in actual life. That's how Lon Chaney Jr's character is brought back to life by electricity in this movie. This episode also contains the second episode of the short Undersea Kingdom, which would be the last episode of it, and the last theater serial, MST would do. Previously
September 24
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HERCULES UNCHAINED Rewatch Season 4, Episode 8
Rewatch! The first of MST3K's series of pepla (singular: peplum, a name for these kinds of half-naked muscleman, sword-and-sandal movies). This one has Steve Reeves, and the story concerns the "waters of forgetfulness." I mentioned several common features of many of these movies in the post previously. Suffice to say, there's a lot of skin and scanty garments worn by male or female alike, but it's a terrible source for anything like Greek or Roman myth.
September 14
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE KILLER SHREWS Rewatch Season 4, Episode 7
Rewatch! A group of people are trapped on an island during a hurricane, and if that's not enough dogs with rugs draped over them, that the scientist seems to think are "killer shrews," are desperately trying to consume the three times their body weight in food daily they need to survive. Before the movie there's the short Junior Rodeo Daredevils, with reckless child endangerment sponsored by Ol' Timer Billy Slater. Previously
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES Rewatch Season 4, Episode 6
Rewatch! Huge, possibly intelligent leeches survive by abducting rednecks, storing them in an air pocket at the bottom of a lake and sucking away their fluids. How will the authorities remedy this situation? Why, with the use of explosives. There's a short too, the first episode of the Crash Corrigan serial Undersea Kingdom, the oldest thing ever riffed by the show. https://fanfare.metafilter.com/5061/Mystery-Science-Theater-3000-ATTACK-OF-THE-GIANT-LEECHES-with-short-UNDERSEA-KINGDOM-part-one
September 13
Mystery Science Theater 3000: BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANET Rewatch Season 4, Episode 5
Rewatch! This episode is something of a sleeper, its subject is a Film Ventures International film (so, weird, irrelevant opening and closing sequences) in which it turns out an alien is buried in a mummy's tomb that causes people to rot when it touches them, and the alien is trying to get back its magic space jewel that someone stole from it. Previously
September 9
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE Rewatch Season 4, Episode 4
Re-rewatch! Say it with me now: When we get back to our home planet the high council may well sentence you to TORCHAA! It's tough being a space teenager. The astro-acne. The jet-fueled mood swings. Discovering your sexual and species identity. Bullshit restrictions from your culture's high rullng overuberpatriarch. And not agreeing with your expeditions genocidal mission to wipe out the population of a planet (Earth) because you need land to graze your giant food lobsters. Previously one and two
September 7
Movie: Circle of Iron
Now here's a koan for you. What is a movie named? Is it what it was released and promoted as, or what the dang thing actually says its title is right there on the screen? This movie, called Circle of Iron in theaters, on posters and in the IMDB, is everywhere within it titled "The Silent Flute." This movie, which was attached to Bruce Lee for a while, is a silly pseudo-intellectual fighting/wandering/picaresque/D&D quest kind of thing, about a shirtless guy named "Cord," (Jeff Cooper) traveling the shirtless wilderness searching for "Zeetan," (Christopher Lee) a guy who supposedly has a book of knowledge, while guided and opposed by various people all played by David Carradine. While it definitely has its problematic aspects, it's still MST Club approved! [more inside]
September 6
Mystery Science Theater 3000: CITY LIMITS Rewatch Season 4, Episode 3
Rewatch! Another of those post-apocalyptic movies, back before we knew the end of civilization would be a big social media fiasco. There are multiple sub-genres of the type: Fallout, Mad Max, zombies, robot overlords, and the one this movie belongs to, themed teen gangs. Has James Earl Jones in it, and also Kim Cattrall. When City Limits first aired it was one of the most recent movies MST had done, but there's been plenty of newer movies since. The movie is more goofy-bad than boring-bad or incompetent-bad, so it's a good episode for MST newbies and casuals. Previously
September 3
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE GIANT GILA MONSTER Rewatch Season 4, Episode 2
Rewatch! A huge lizard terrorizes a town in the fifties, and it falls to a teenager, his hot-rod, and a bunch of nitroglycerin to destroy it. You sing whenever you sing whenever you sing. Previously
August 30
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SPACE TRAVELLERS Rewatch Season 4, Episode 1
Rewatch! Some astronauts are in space and they're trying to get back to the ground, but there are problems. This is the 70s Gene Hackman sci-fi vehicle Marooned as re-edited by Film Ventures International. Previously
August 27
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MASTER NINJA II Rewatch Season 3, Episode 24
Rewatch! Timothy Van Patten, former Eight is Enough and White Shadow star and current bigwig TV director in Hollywood, and Lee Van Cleef, former 50s and 60s western star and current dead person, appear in a movie made from an 80s TV show in which they improbably play ninja trainee and master. One of the episodes has the two help protect a fledgling union, the other is stunt cast to pair him with a former western co-star of Van Cleef's. It was a weird show. Previously - Previously on Metafilter about The Master
August 22
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU Rewatch Season 3, Episode 23
Rewatch! Megalomaniacal, stereotypical Fu Manchu, played as an inscrutable pillar of evil by Christopher Lee, schemes to freeze the world's oceans, because that's the kind of thing a powerful Chinese person does in a movie adapted from a Sax Rohmer book. This is not one of the best episodes, to be blunt: the movie drags like a lead weight. Good luck everyone. Previously
August 20
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MASTER NINJA I Rewatch Season 3, Episode 22
Re-rewatch! Timothy Van Patten and Lee Van Cleef are the most unlikely ninjas in Japanese exoticism history. They travel the country in typical 70s TV show fashion, which fits because this is actually two episodes of The Master. There's a hamster, they live in a van, they solve the problems of the people they meet. It's not very realistic. Previously and again. Not the episode you expected? Look inside for the reason for that. [more inside]
August 16
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE UNEARTHLY Rewatch Season 3, Episode 20
Rewatch! John Carradine knows One Weird Trick to prolong life in humans: change out their pineal glands! But as a side effect it turns the subjects into mutants. Contains Tor Johnson, who know what time it for. Has shorts devoted to the subjects of posture and parental obedience. Previously
August 13
Mystery Science Theater 3000: WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST Rewatch Season 3, Episode 19
Re-rewatch! The sequel to Bert I. Gordon's Amazing Colossal Man, shown in episode 309. The episode would probably be regarded as a sleeper if it wasn't for the short before it: MR. B NATURAL. Previously, first time - Second time [more inside]
August 9
Mystery Science Theater 3000: STAR FORCE: FUGITIVE ALIEN II Rewatch Season 3, Episode 18
Re-rewatch! Tonight (Sunday).... Get your forklifts warmed up, it's the further adventures of Ken, Captain Joe, Rocky (again!) and Tammy, in the last of MST3K's nine Sandy Frank movies. Previously, and again
August 5
Mystery Science Theater 3000: VIKING WOMEN AND THE SEA SERPENT Rewatch Season 3, Episode 17
Rewatch! Roger Corman movie about viking women who go looking for their captive husbands. The sea serpent in the title is not a huge presence. Also contains a short about home economics. But in host segment terms, this episode is about one thing: waffles. I'd like to remind you that "TV's" Frank Conniff would go on to be a writer on Invader Zim, which also featured a prominent waffle episode.
August 2
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. ZIGRA Rewatch Season 3, Episode 16
Re-rewatch! Evil alien. Colorful Trix cereal spaceship. Mind controlled lady villain. Shouting "AAA!" at people. Shark monster. Last MST Gamera movie. 8th of 9 Sandy Frank films. Pretty silly. Previously - More Recently
July 30
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TEENAGE CAVEMAN Rewatch Season 3, Episode 15
Rewatch! Post a little late this time... a caveteen disagrees with the dogma and taboos of his tribe and ventures into the forbidden zone to discover a the Secret Twist Ending! With the short Aquatic Wizards. Previously
July 25
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MIGHTY JACK Rewatch Season 3, Episode 14
Rewatch! Whatever this movie is about, it has sort of spies fighting "the organization known as Q" the leader of which has a cat and there's a flying thing and a base in an iceberg and a torture trap involving shining really bright lights at someone and it's really a mess. Sandy Frank sent a lot of crappy movies at Joel and the 'bots, but this is probably the crappiest. Good luck understanding it. Previously
July 23
Mystery Science Theater 3000: EARTH VS. THE SPIDER Rewatch Season 3, Episode 13
Rewatch! In this corner: weighing in at 5.97 sextillion tons, the source and home of all life in the universe, the planet Earth! In the other corner, weighing in at a respectable one ton for its phyla, "the" Spider! Fight! It's one of those 50s black-and-white sci-fi monster movies, this time involving teens and a sadly eaten father. Also has the short Speech: Using Your Voice. Remember: you must be heard, you must be understood, and you must be pleasing! Previously
July 19
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GUIRON Rewatch Season 3, Episode 12
Re-rewatch! A really big turtle that can fly and breathe fire fights a similarly-sized knife monster on an alien planet, in order to save two kids from space ladies with US southern accents wearing leotards that want to eat their brains. If you think that sounds crazy, well, it's not even the half of it. Probably the goofiest of the Gamera movies, and the one that brought us the Gamera theme song and much attendant riffing joy. Previously and again
July 16
Mystery Science Theater 3000: IT CONQUERED THE WORLD Rewatch Season 3, Episode 11
Rewatch! Peter Graves tries to convince Lee Van Cleef not to help an evil carrot from Venus to take over the minds of our authority figures, turning them against us. Hm. Has anyone checked the White House for diabolical vegetables? Previously "He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature…" [more inside]
July 11
Mystery Science Theater 3000: FUGITIVE ALIEN Rewatch Season 3, Episode 10
Rewatch! Sunday-- Ken is a Star Wolf, a member of a ruthless band of space raiders from the planet Valna, who unexpectedly develops a conscience and saves an Earth woman and sun from a comrade. He is labeled a traitor and is force to team up with hard-drinking earthling Captain Joe and his crew on the old spaceship Bacchus III. I love this episode. The movie is goofy but watchable (and as Joel and co note in the sequel, the music legitimately rocks), the jokes are funny and on-point, and in a series filled to overflowing with memorable moments, gives us several great ones, culminating in the classic lyric: "HE TRIIIED TO KILL ME WITH A FORKLIFT!" Olé! Previously Below the fold, some comments about the movie. [more inside]
Movie: Manos Returns
A sequel to 1966's Manos: The Hands of Fate. Streaming on Amazon Prime, Manos Returns features several cast members from the first film, which was made famous (largely by its appearance on Mystery Science Theater 3000) as arguably the worst film ever made. [more inside]
July 9
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN Rewatch Season 3, Episode 9
Rewatch! Thursday-- A film from the most prolific director of MST3K movies, Bert I. Gordon. Glenn Manning is a man with a big problem, getting bigger: he was exposed to an experimental weapon that makes him grow and grow and grow. A better movie than its sequel, War of the Colossal Beast, but often in it shadow because WotCB contains perhaps the most popular short in MST's history. Previously
July 4
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GAOS Rewatch Season 3, Episode 8
Re-rewatch! On Sunday: like Godzilla, Gamera progressed through his career from being a force of destruction to being a protector of humanity, defending Japanese cities against other kaiju. Gaos (alternately spelled Gyaos) may be the most iconic and effective of Gamera's foes, being a sort of giant vampire bat thing with laser eyes. Sadly, the annoying kid Gamerafriends are back after their absence from Gamera vs. Barugon. Previously - Also previously
July 2
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DADDY-O Rewatch Season 3, Episode 7
Rewatch! A guy is forced off the road by a lady, so naturally they decide to drag race. Things progress in the natural manner, so he ends up going undercover in a nightclub to find out who killed his friend, and the lady, who's kind of sweet on him despite everything, helps. Has the short Alphabet Antics, the first of the show's many educational shorts. Previously
June 28
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TIME OF THE APES Rewatch Season 3, Episode 6
Rewatch! Tonight: another classic early episode, in this movie (really episodes of a Japanese show stitched together by Sandy Frank), a couple of Japanese kids visit their uncle in their high-tech monkey freezing compound. Then an earthquake hits, and the two and a lab assistant seek refuge in a freezing chamber. They're flash-frozen and wake up in a future where APES RULE THE WORRRLD. But there's also a ton of other stuff going on: human Godo the survivalist, Pepe the friendly monkeyperson, vengeful ape Gaybar(?), the stern but ultimately helpful leader ape, and the deus ex machina-ish "UECOM" ("Yukon?") that hovers in the sky. Completely bonkers. Previously
June 25
Mystery Science Theater 3000: STRANDED IN SPACE Rewatch Season 3, Episode 5
Rewatch! An astronaut survives a crash, but on waking up Earth doesn't seem to be as he remembers it... it turns out he's on "Terra," on the other side of the sun from Earth, which is a lot like Earth in a lot of ways (lots of Chryslers, for example), but is being run by one of those dystopian states that everyone was afraid of before we realized the fall of civilization would take the form of a social media meltdown. Previously
June 21
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. BARUGON Rewatch Season 3, Episode 4
Re-rewatch! A gigantic sort of allegator-dog attacks Japan, and in a twist (whaaa?) the previously aggressive monster turtle Gamera is the only thing that can stop it. At least there's no obnoxious kid this time. Previously one and Previously two
June 18
Mystery Science Theater 3000: POD PEOPLE Rewatch Season 3, Episode 3
Re-rewatch! Four different subplots kind of meander into orbit with each other in this dubbed French/Spanish movie. Movie A: poachers in the woods encounter and break the eggs of an unworldly creature. Movie B: singers on a trip in the woods have a deadly run-in with that creature. Movie C: a lonely young boy befriends another creature of the same species. Movie D: the boy's father noisily conflicts with the lead singer from Movie B. It's another episode from a time in the show's history when almost every episode became a classic. But as for the movie itself... (O.K. sign) It stinks! It's as disjointed as it was because originally it was supposed to just be a horror movie, but then when ET came out a hasty story adjustment was made to try to get some of those cute alien movie dollars. Previously and also previously
June 14
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA Rewatch Season 3, Episode 2
Re-rewatch! A giant turtle terrorizes Japan while a sad little kid is told he can't keep his pet turtle. Their paths cross, and now the military tries to save Japan from kaiju destruction while the kid helps as a kind of giant turtle expert. It's pretty ridiculous, but it's only the beginning of a series of Gamera movies. MST would eventually do five of them, and they're some of the show's most iconic episodes. Previously
June 10
Mystery Science Theater 3000: CAVE DWELLERS Rewatch Season 3, Episode 1
Rewatch! The first classic episode in a season of classic episodes, a dull old guy ("Akronos") living in a prehistoric time is attacked by a John Saxon-type ("Zor") over a "geometric nucleus," so he sends his daughter Mila, who wears a hubcap on her chest, to go fetch Ator and his faithful male companion ("Thong," really) to save him. Mila impresses Ator by demonstrating her knowledge of the chemistry of human filth. The titular cave dwellers are only a stop-off point halfway through the film, there's a snake puppet, and an unexpected appearance by a hang glider. The whole thing is ridiculous. It's indicative of how disjointed this movie is that, despite it being a classic episode and one of my favorites, I still had to look up the names of the old guy, the bad guy and the girl! This movie is actually the sequel to the movie used in the last episode of Season 12. Previously