Mystery Science Theater Club

A place to talk about our quest to group-watch, over the Internet, the entire 198-episode cable run of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Bad movies with good friends! MST3K episodes on FanFare.

Posts for this club should be tagged: mysterysciencetheater_club.

April 2

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SLIME PEOPLE  Rewatch   Season 1, Episode 8

Rewatch! It's like a zombie movie but not, and from before that became a genre! You might consider it ahead of its time, or you might consider that zombie movies were never all that to begin with. It's another first season episode, when the guys and robots were still finding their feet and/or hoverskirts. Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 1:44 PM - 0 comments

March 26

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ROBOT MONSTER  Rewatch   Season 1, Episode 7

Rewatch! We're baaaack.... A alien invader (guy in a gorilla suit with a fishbowl on his head) called Ro-Man destroys everyone on Earth except for a family that lives in walking distance of his cave (which has a bubble machine in front of it). The family tries to thwart Ro-Man's attempt to wipe them out, until Ro-Man gets a crush on the family's teenage daughter. At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? In the end it's all a dream had by a comic-addled young boy. Up until this point MST had shown bad movies, but this was the first truly transcendent example they did. Some have called it the worst movie ever made. Enjoy! Also has two Radar Men From the Moon shorts. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 7:44 AM - 8 comments

March 18

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CRAWLING HAND  Rewatch   Season 1, Episode 6

Rewatch! An astronaut crashes to earth and dies, all except for his hand (or hand and forearm, depending on the shot). It strangles people then hooks up with a teen to do more stranglin'. In the end it gets eaten by a cat, saving the world. Good kitty! This is an important episode in that it's the first one that sets up the "style" of the show in almost all later episodes, the opening going directly into the theater tunnel, and Joel explains the premise, really for the first time on cable. Also, the movie features the song Surfin' Bird. Previously. ----- In other news, for the extent of the pandemic, the MST Club video room will be open between shows with a playlist of as-broadcast MST episodes, funny YouTube finds, and other special appearances, for bored social distancers dropping-in. "Enjoy!"
posted by JHarris at 10:14 PM - 2 comments

March 12

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CORPSE VANISHES  Rewatch   Season 1, Episode 5

Rewatch! Bela Lugosi plays a mad scientist who extracts brain juice from young brides to keep his wife young, because that's a thing that works. Come on, if it did Trump would be trying to suck it out of people's heads with a drinking straw. Both this and the previous movie are among the oldest films MST ever did, made in 1942. There's another Commando Cody short too, and some classic sketches, such as the robots saying bedtime prayers and the haircut bit. Previously
posted by JHarris at 2:50 AM - 3 comments

March 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000: WOMEN OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET  Rewatch   Season 1, Episode 4

Rewatch! Space people crash on a planet, and leave behind a man and woman. The departing commander names the planet Earth, making the left-behinds Adam and Eve. Except since this is obviously before any terrestrial languages how did that name come down to us? And there are neanderthals on the planet too. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, is what I'm saying. At least it's in color. This is actually the last episode made of the first season, so it's not as quiet as some other 1st season episodes. This is the episode that gives MST its most popular catchphrase, Hikeeba! Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 4:18 AM - 3 comments

February 27

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE MAD MONSTER  Rewatch   Season 1, Episode 3

Rewatch! An amiable handyman is turned into a furred killer by virtue of a syringe of Wolf Juice, in service to that diabolical process called science. When it is proclaimed of our our somewhat-hairy, yet still humanoid, victim that he has "become a wolf," it is a profoundly silly moment. Comes with Pt. 2 of Radar Men From The Moon. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 2:39 AM - 3 comments

February 20

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE ROBOT VS THE AZTEC MUMMY  Rewatch   Season 1, Episode 2

Rewatch! Evil Dr. Krupp, aka "The Bat" continues his plans to steal a treasure from the body of an Aztec mummy. This time he builds a robot to do it for him, which, why? Sell the robot, get more money than the treasure is worth! No matter. He's opposed by the virtuous Dr. Almada and the mummy, Popoca, itself. Also riffed is the first part of Commando Cody serial Radar Men From The Moon. Previously
posted by JHarris at 1:03 AM - 2 comments

February 13

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CRAWLING EYE  Rewatch   Season 1, Episode 1

Rewatch! Ambulatory eyeballs with tentacles descend from space and menace the inhabitants of a mountain town. It's the first cable episode again, and as before, it's kind of a tough row to hoe. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 7:07 AM - 5 comments

February 8

Movie: Battlestar Galactica

Way out in space there are 12 planets populated by 12 tribes of humanity, which all came out from their mother world of Kobol. Then the eeevil Cylons, a race of shiny chrome robots and not sexy sexy ladies, attacked. After a thousand year war it looked like peace was finally coming... but it was a trap, engineered by traitorous human Baltar! Boo! Hiss! Now, Admiral Cartwright Adama commands the last Battlestar, Galactica, as it leads a rag-tag fugitive fleet on a lonely quest... for a shining planet known as Hoboken Earth. It's MST Club approved! [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 12:35 AM - 25 comments

February 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000: STARCRASH  Rewatch   Season 11, Episode 6

Re-rewatch! Stella Starr and her platonic space wizard friend Akton are on the run from the space police, until they aren't, given a reprieve if they go find Space Emperor Christopher Plummer's son, David Hasselhoff. Along the way they meet a robot with a Texas accent, space amazons and their giant lady robot guardian, stop motion androids, a frozen planet, a traitorous crewman, space cavemen, trooper-carrying space torpedoes, and the evil Count Zarth Arn. An imfamously silly movie, but still fun, there's always something going on. Previously - Also previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 11:52 PM - 9 comments

Movie: Deathstalker II

Deathstalker II is a fun and tongue-in-cheek 80's style fantasy movie, although it does have much more nude female flesh than people may appreciate. It's borderline porn. Lots of ridiculous stuff in this one: the movie doesn't take itself seriously at all. It's "MST Club Approved!" [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 11:37 PM - 6 comments

January 30

1102 CRY WILDERNESS

One of the highlights of Season 11, Cry Wilderness makes even less sense than the standard Mystery Science movie. Paul is a kid living in a boarding school... but he's friends with Bigfoot... and his teacher doesn't believe in it and is angry with Paul except for when he isn't... and Bigfoot comes to Paul in a vision that his father is in danger... so he hitchhikes... and there's racoons... and a US Marshall with poor eating habits... and a couple of Native Americans, but one is dead... and he has an eagle... and there's an escaped circus tiger... it all makes absolutely no sense. Enjoy!
posted by JHarris at 12:25 PM - 0 comments

January 23

1112 CARNIVAL MAGIC

Coming in unexpectedly high among the episodes of Season 11 in the poll is Carnival Magic, a talking ape movie with a very low opinion of both traditional apes and the ones known as men. Particularly hard to watch, but the riffs lessen the pain... somewhat. Could be considered the Manos of the revival. Good luck with this one. Previously - Also Previously
posted by JHarris at 3:40 AM - 0 comments

January 16

Rewatch: MST3K 1104 AVALANCHE

A lot of 70s actors try to survive an avalanche caused by one actor's self-sighted building project. Some do, some don't. The audience certainly won't. Previously - Also previously
posted by JHarris at 8:55 AM - 1 comment

January 9

1110 WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM I Rewatch

Welcome back to crappy fantasy land, where our apes are bats, and our conquerors have Dad Bod. Previously - Also Previously
posted by JHarris at 3:14 PM - 1 comment

MST Club Season 11 Rewatch Posts

We're showing Season 11 episodes in our poll-decided episode encore, which presents a problem: all the Season 11 episodes already have Rewatch posts. There is nothing saying we can't make more, but rather than litter main Fanfare with an indefinitely increasing number of Rewatches, I'm going to announce these episodes in the MST Club Talk subsection. Please look there for the upcoming episodes.
posted by JHarris at 3:09 PM - 0 comments

December 19

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE PUMAMAN  Rewatch   Season 9, Episode 3

#1 from our internet poll of most beloved Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes! A nebbishy white guy in London turns out to be the secret heir to a fantastic Incan/alien legacy of power. Yes, he, somehow, is THE PUMAMAN, as detected, by the much-more-appropriate Vadinho, by dint of throwing him out of a tall building and him surviving. The Pumaman's powers are needed because of the evil plot of the malevolent Dr. Kobras, played by Donald Pleasence, who, always a professional, does his best with a bad role. Let's all sing the theme song! "When, you want, the flavor of ba-con in a dip...." Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 1:17 AM - 15 comments

December 9

Mystery Science Theater 3000: I ACCUSE MY PARENTS  Rewatch   Season 5, Episode 7

Jimmy is a high-school student who writes essays about how great his family is, but in fact his home life is terrible. So, he goes right out and gets in trouble with the mob. Remember parents, if you don't throw your kid a birthday party they'll go out and crime it up, and lie about literally every. thing. Fortunately hamburgers dispensed by kindly diner owners are the cure for all moral lapses. Thank you cows, for being our huge lowing Jesuses! Previously Next week is the last episode in our poll tour. See inside for more information on MST Club.
posted by JHarris at 5:13 AM - 7 comments

December 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THIS ISLAND EARTH  Rewatch   Season 7, Episode 7

Carl is a Serious Scientist who's been sent a parts catalog in the mail, but the parts are crazy-pants, and further the catalog describes how to build an "Interociter." which apparently can perform housework? and display video communications? Rather than returning that thing right back to Archie McPhee Carl decides to order the parts and build it. Amazingly, rather than being a hilarious practical joke at his expense, it presents the smiling face of Exeter, who invites him to join with other Human Scientists at their Laboratory. From there, let's just say the dominos have been set in motion, and a trip to space and a confrontation with Scrotor is inevitable. In the history of the show, this episode actually isn't the show, but MST: The Movie. It's been written up on Fanfare before, here. [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 11:33 AM - 9 comments

November 21

Mystery Science Theater 3000: SPACE MUTINY  Rewatch   Season 8, Episode 20

Rewatch! Commander Santa and aerobics witches! Slab Bulkhead and Back-From-The-Dead Susie! Apple II computer effects and stolen Battlestar Galactica footage! Calgon, take them away! Widely consider one of the best episodes, this South African production is hilariously strange. Previously
posted by JHarris at 3:47 PM - 6 comments

November 19

MST Club 2019 Christmas Marathon suggestion thread

This is the public planning/suggestion thread for the Christmas Marathon. If you have any awesome examples of Yuletide Ridiculousness to suggest, you can do it here!
posted by JHarris at 11:48 PM - 6 comments

November 14

Mystery Science Theater 3000: TIME CHASERS  Rewatch   Season 8, Episode 21

Rewatch! Nick is a high-school teacher with a secret--and no, that secret doesn't involve cooking meth. He's the inventor of a time machine! And its workings are an 8-bit microcomputer, who's have thought! It's really a shame that he turned to EvilCo for his first round of funding. I'm kind of surprised this episode placed so highly on the poll, I mean it's pretty good, but better than Manos? Soultaker? SCCTM? Hobgoblins? Time of the Apes? Master Ninja? A couple dozen other episodes? I mean, it tied with Starcrash! I guess it's one of those episodes that's grown in the years since first airing. Previously
posted by JHarris at 4:06 AM - 4 comments

November 7

Mystery Science Theater 3000: MITCHELL  Rewatch   Season 5, Episode 12

Rewatch! Joe Don Baker IS Mitchell, a cop that doesn't play by the rules. For example, the rules about drinking on the job. The rules about sleeping with prostitutes. The rules about interacting with other human beings, especially kids. Certainly the rules about nutrition and hygiene. There is a story here about a drug dealer and his henchman who Mitchell seems like is almost trying to annoy into turning themselves in. In the end the lasting impression caused by this movie can be summed up in two words: BABY OIL. You'll know why when it appears on screen. (shudder) In the show's history this episode is especially notable for being Joel Hodgson's last as host. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 2:55 AM - 16 comments

October 30

Mystery Science Theater 3000: MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE  Rewatch   Season 4, Episode 24

Resuffer! For Halloween this year, we've moved an episode up an week. Spend All Hallow's Eve with us, Torgo and the gang! Previously. And we've got a whole bunch more Halloween stuff before and after at MST Club this week!
posted by JHarris at 8:19 PM - 13 comments

October 24

Mystery Science Theater 3000: LASERBLAST  Rewatch   Season 7, Episode 6

Rewatch! A teen with a sad life finds a laser gun in the desert, which turns out to be a particularly bad influence on him. Fortunately the claymation lizard patrol is on the case. This was the last episode in the Comedy Central run of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 2:40 AM - 8 comments

October 17

Mystery Science Theater 3000: OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK  Rewatch   Season 8, Episode 22

Rewatch! In a corporate-dominated dystopia, poor Aram Fingals gets caught "scrolling up cinemas" and so he's sent for "prophylactic rehab" to a wildlife refuge where his mind is "doppled" into a baboon (thankfully not an anteater!) because that's what is considered restorative recreation in THE FUTURE. The process is overseen by Apollonia Jones and... look, there's so much pointless jargon in this movie it's using up my supply of scare quotes so I'm going to stop the description there. Just scrounge up some creds for a bag of flavo-fibes and join us and the sadly late Raul Julia for OVERDRAWN AT THE MEMORY BANK. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 6:15 AM - 5 comments

October 10

Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS  Rewatch   Season 3, Episode 21

Rewatch! And of course we'll be rewatching it again when the Christmas thingy roll back around. There are now three Christmas movie episodes of MST3K; this is the one that's "classically" the worst, appearing on many lists of the worst of all time.I like the idea of it, the willingness to take an absurd premise seriously, and the energy (most of) the actors bring to it. But then there's Dropo.... Previously. [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 11:39 AM - 7 comments

October 3

Mystery Science Theater 3000: MASTER NINJA I  Rewatch   Season 3, Episode 22

Rewatch! Some doof is traveling across the country, in that way that loners in 70s shows often do, accompanied both by a hamster and a master ninja that is teaching him the ninja-ey arts along the way. The ninja, inexplicably, is played by Lee Van Cleef. The "movie" is actually two episodes of the show "The Master" strung together. The episode, of MST3K, is a good example of the kind of thing that made the show so popular. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 8:27 AM - 3 comments

September 25

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DANGER! DEATH RAY  Rewatch   Season 6, Episode 20

A scientist made a death ray, insisting it's for peaceful purposes. He's been kidnapped, you say? Send in secret agent Bart Fargo Bart Fargo Bart Fargo to rescue him. Ba dup ba dup ba da dah? Ba dup ba dup ba da dah. Previously
posted by JHarris at 5:05 AM - 3 comments

September 19

Mystery Science Theater 3000: WEREWOLF  Rewatch   Season 9, Episode 4

Time for snausages! A man gets werewolved by touching old teeth, kills some people, sleeps "nose to anus," and eventually passes his condition to his girlfriend. Remember to inform romantic partner about possible STDs. A popular episode! Contains both a host segment song and the "Tusk!" gag over the closing credits. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 4:03 PM - 7 comments

September 11

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE FINAL SACRIFICE  Rewatch   Season 9, Episode 10

Rewatch! Come along with us on a road trip to the lost city of Ziox. Don't mind that pesky cult in our way; we've got Troy the Kid and Zap the Rowsdower coming too! We can do a sing-along! We're getting to the really classic episodes now. Ilana let us know last year that the actor who played Rowsdower, Bruce K. Mitchell, passed away. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 11:13 PM - 6 comments

September 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000: SOULTAKER  Rewatch   Season 10, Episode 1

Rewatch! What awaits us after we die? If this movie is to be believed, we end up inside little rings such as the kind Sonic the Hedgehog collects, ferried back and forth through the afterlife by glorified deliverymen in black suits, overseen by the fearsomely-chinned Robert Z'Dar. A classic Season 10 episode, both for the ridiculous movie and for cameo appearances by both TV's Frank and Joel Hodgson, last seen in 624 and 512 respectively. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 10:43 AM - 9 comments

August 21

Mystery Science Theater 3000: MERLIN'S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS  Rewatch   Season 10, Episode 3

Rewatch! Like some mirror universe version of The Princess Bride, a grandfather tells stories to his grandson, but THIS grandfather is Ernest Borgnine, and THESE stories are horrible tales of soul-draining magic and deadly cursed monkeys, and THIS kid isn't getting any sleep tonight. A highlight of the Sci-Fi Channel run, we're closing in on the most popular episodes now.... Previously.
posted by JHarris at 5:43 PM - 4 comments

August 14

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA  Rewatch   Season 3, Episode 2

Rewatch! Up in the arctic, atomic tests run by Major Curley awaken a huge, slumbering giant from the deep... if you thought, "oh it's okay, it's just a big turtle," you might be surprised by the havoc it raises. Meanwhile, a sad sad kid in Japan is obsessed with his pet turtle, so his parents take it away from him, making him even more sad. Oh, how will their stories converge. First of the Gamera series. Other than perhaps Gamera vs. Barugon, the only Gamera without kids in it, this may be the one that plays it the straightest, without goofy enemy monsters, the Gamera theme song or other ridiculous elements. It's not terrible as a monster movie, but that subplot with Kenny pushes it over the edge into ludicrousness. Previously
posted by JHarris at 9:24 PM - 1 comment

August 7

Mystery Science Theater 3000: POD PEOPLE  Rewatch   Season 3, Episode 3

Rewatch! Deep in the northwestern woods somewhere is a house in which lives a lonely boy with way too many pets. His newest pet, however, is from a species with serious aggression problems. Oh also there are poachers in the woods. Oh and there's some singers in town who are vacationing in those same woods. It stinks! Pod People, shown early in Season 3, is a hugely iconic episode of MST3K, and "It stinks!" quickly became one of the shows many, many catchphrases. And I think we can all agree: the pet alien from this movie would make a better president than our current one. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 4:45 PM - 7 comments

July 31

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ALIEN FROM L.A.  Rewatch   Season 5, Episode 16

Rewatch! A young lady in California learns the oft-taught movie advice that, if she takes off her glasses and musses her hair a bit, men will be more attracted to her, and it only takes a trip to a dystopian underground civilization to learn it. This movie has a certain level of similarity to the Super Mario Bros. movie. This is a fan favorite episode, only the fourth episode P.M. (Post Mitchell), and back when it first aired it was the episode that really proved, after Joel left, that the show was going to be okay. Previously [more inside]
posted by JHarris at 9:50 PM - 8 comments

July 24

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ANGELS REVENGE  Rewatch   Season 6, Episode 22

Rewatch! Young women fight drug dealers in a tawdry production. Remember to shine your love! Previously
posted by JHarris at 11:46 PM - 4 comments

July 18

Mystery Science Theater 3000: PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR  Rewatch   Season 8, Episode 11

Rewatch! Considering the political reality of the USA right now, this movie's almost charming with how the villain is an evil Senator's brother, who runs a farm for stupid 70s people, clones of "important" folk, you know, like senators, to serve as living sources of spare body parts. Especially hilarious is the pseudo-Orwellian culture of the farm, which is like a sinister community college. Previously
posted by JHarris at 1:03 AM - 4 comments

July 11

Mystery Science Theater 3000: HOBGOBLINS  Rewatch   Season 9, Episode 7

Rewatch! Plush toys with the ability to make people's fantasies a reality encounter some teenagers with severe issues, and the result is supposed to be a comedy. You knew it was coming. Any list of the best MST episodes invariably covers most of the worst movies, meaning we're back here again, at the extremely 80s, extraordinarily tawdry film (in the sense of being an oily coating) known to those unfortunate enough to have experienced it as HOBGOBLINS. To watch it is to feel like your brain is floating in a tub of slime: enjoy! Previously
posted by JHarris at 4:54 AM - 5 comments

July 4

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GIRLS TOWN  Rewatch   Season 6, Episode 1

Rewatch! Silver is a rowdy young lady, committed to home for troubled teens Girls Town for a murder she didn't commit. The real culprit turns out to have done it in self-defense. Various people sing. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 10:26 AM - 2 comments

June 27

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CREEPING TERROR  Rewatch   Season 6, Episode 6

Rewatch! From the depths of OUTER SPACE comes a deadly shed containing two walking dirty carpets each festooned with vacuum cleaner attachments. Featuring the most ridiculous monsters in MST history, and that's saying something. What. A. Movie. This is the platonic ideal of a superbad z-grade monster movie. Terrible effects, horrible acting, a nonsensical script and nearly entirely dubbed dialogue. (muah) Exquisite! Previously.
posted by JHarris at 4:17 PM - 6 comments

June 19

Mystery Science Theater 3000: RED ZONE CUBA  Rewatch   Season 6, Episode 19

Rewatch! We knew it was coming. Here, again, is one of the very worst movies MST ever did, most infamous of the Coleman Francis triad. A trio of criminals get involved in various adventures, go Cuba for a while, make it back to the states, do some nefarious things and die. As John Carradine says: "GRIFFIN. He went all the way to HELL." Between Cherokee Jack, Petey Plane, the "Sick Man" bit, the Dark Spectre of Food, and others, it's a classic episode, but, not for the weak of heart or quick to sleep. At least it's got a speech-and-posture short, unlikely savior it may be. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 7:10 PM - 3 comments

June 13

Mystery Science Theater 3000: PRINCE OF SPACE  Rewatch   Season 8, Episode 16

Rewatch! We're starting to get into the weird ones. Prince of Space is a hilarious episode of our favorite cowtown puppet show, with an inexplicable hero (the invulnerable Prince of Space, who works as a Tokyo bootblack), annoying kids (PoS' child sidekicks) and easily one of the top five most ridiculous villains in MSTdom in the form of the chickenish Phantom of Krankor. HAAA... Haaa... haaa... ha. Just, for the love of decency, don't stare at the Krankorian crotches.... Previously.
posted by JHarris at 12:30 AM - 9 comments

June 5

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. BARUGON  Rewatch   Season 3, Episode 4

Rewatch! Second of the Gamera kaiju films, in which a spinning, jet-propelled turtle fights monsters and destroys buildings. This one was of the age where Gamera was still mostly feared, and it's the only Gamera movie without any kids in it! The monster he fights, with freezing tongue and rainbow destruction beam, is rather random. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 10:38 PM - 3 comments

May 29

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GAOS  Rewatch   Season 3, Episode 8

Rewatch! Another movie about Japan's fiery spinning menace who's also the friend to children. This is the third Gamera movie, and the third that MST has done. This is the one where Gamera makes the transition from menace to hero, to protect Japan from space vampire Gaos (or "Gyaos" depending on transliteration). Not nearly as weird as Gamera vs. Guiron, it still generally works as a monster movie, and may be the best of the Gamera films. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 10:35 PM - 0 comments

May 23

Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. GUIRON  Rewatch   Season 3, Episode 12

Rewatch! It's the first of three Gamera movies in a row, out of MST's five. This is by far the silliest of the lot. Two kids are abducted by space ladies that want to eat their brains, but are rescued by Gamera after a fight with knife monster Guiron. There's so much in this episode: the Bike Song, "Cornjob," dancing go-go, giant turtle gymnastics, and, of course: The Gamera Song. He is filled with turtle meat! Previously.
posted by JHarris at 2:47 AM - 6 comments

May 16

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BEATNIKS  Rewatch   Season 4, Episode 15

Rewatch! No, they're not Beatniks. They're not even Boatniks. A young thug is content with a life of robbery until it turns out he can sing, but his grasping for fortune and respectability is held back by his jilted criminal buddies. It was directed and written by voice actor Paul "Boris Badenov" Frees! There's also a General Hospital soap opera short, which are unfortunately among the most boring shorts MST did, but does have their commercial for The Booze Council.
posted by JHarris at 2:01 AM - 4 comments

May 9

Mystery Science Theater 3000: OPERATION DOUBLE 007  Rewatch   Season 5, Episode 8

Rewatch! Sean Connery's brother sure can do a lot. Plastic surgery, hypnosis, martial arts and so on. His brother's taken time off to go to the future to worship a huge flying head, so Secret Agent Central Casting sent him instead. He's up against an evil organization that somehow convinced a flotilla of clothes-averse young women to work for them, in capacities ranging from showgirl distraction brigade to movie screen. M and Moneypenny are involved somehow. In case you couldn't tell, this is an extremely silly movie and fully deserving being thrown against a wall and mocked by joke-making machines.Previously.
posted by JHarris at 4:10 PM - 4 comments

May 2

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL  Rewatch   Season 7, Episode 3

Rewatch! The least porny of the four Deathstalker movies, here he's played with what's supposed to be a roguish glint, but comes across as intolerable smugness. The girl he's supposed to help dies very early, but fortunately she had a twin sister. There's also a sad wizard with problems (sad wizard problems) a mother and daughter who survive due to the existence of that miracle vegetable, the potato, evil sorcerer Troxartes and his evil consort, and a bunch of dead guys who've been brought back to life. The villain keeps their souls in a knickknack. Previously. One of only six movies in Season 7, and thus one of the few episodes with Dr. Forrester and his mother, Pearl Forrester.
posted by JHarris at 1:30 AM - 6 comments

April 10

Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTA CLAUS  Rewatch   Season 5, Episode 21

Rewatch! Santa sees, hears, knows all. Up at his workshop in a castle hovering above the north pole he keeps his helpers, children from every nation. There they work on toys, singing all day long. They can do naught else, lest the forces of hell gain the upper hand. Fortunately Santa has the aid of Merlin and his magical inventions. Kind of a spin-off of the (nearly defunct) Santa's Workshop chain of theme parks, and deeply, deeply insane. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 7:59 PM - 8 comments

March 27

Mystery Science Theater 3000: FINAL JUSTICE  Rewatch   Season 10, Episode 8

Rewatch! Joe Don Baker is a Texas lawman who is sent to accompany a criminal being extradited to Malta. It's a fish out of water scenario, you see! Watch as our protagonist delivers illegal two-fisted American justice in a land wildly outside his jurisdiction with his belligerent catchphrase, "You think you can take me? Go 'head on." Something makes me think this movie didn't do very good business in overseas markets. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 5:45 PM - 5 comments

March 20

Mystery Science Theater 3000: ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE  Rewatch   Season 6, Episode 4

Rewatch! A young Slab Bulkhead is killed but revived by a Voodoo Lady to get revenge on his killers. Contains Adam West in one of his post-Batman, pre-self-referential roles, begging folk to kill him. Previously
posted by JHarris at 11:42 PM - 8 comments

March 13

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE WILD WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN  Rewatch   Season 5, Episode 15

Rewatch! MST3K has had a lot of goofy movies in its time. We watched one of the silliest, The Dead Talk Back, just last week. But in a field containing Robot Holocaust, Gamera vs. Guiron, Catalina Caper, Monster A-Go-Go, The Pumaman, Quest of the Delta Knights, Hobgoblins, Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, Cry Wilderness, Carnival Magic and Mac And Me, this may still, ultimately, be the silliest. A woman in lingerie organizes a bunch of other scantily clad young women to fight crime and play at being "synthetic vampires," while her nemesis, the dastardly Rat Fink, attempt to steal an atomic hearing aid, by using his irresistible dancing drug, created by his mad scientist cohort, and his minion Heathcliff, who... look, it's just too ridiculous. You can see it for yourself when we watch it Thursday night! Previously
posted by JHarris at 9:28 PM - 8 comments

March 7

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEAD TALK BACK  Rewatch   Season 6, Episode 3

Rewatch! One of the sillier movies in MST's rich history, this film was made in the 60s but unreleased until shortly before the episode aired. Krasker is a self-styled occultist with a hilariously dramatic speaking style. He lives in the basement of a boarding house with a collection of "supernatural" artifacts that are laugh-out-loud funny even without riffing. For some reason the police hang on this cut-rate Sherlock Holmes' every word, and consult with him on murder cases, a premises so ridiculous that it demonstrates just how stupid it is when investigatory seances happen in real life. But mostly the movie stalls until its sub-Scooby Doo twist ending. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 3:16 AM - 4 comments

February 27

Mystery Science Theater 3000: SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL  Rewatch   Season 6, Episode 14

Rewatch! What would Airplane! be if it weren't played for laughs, like, at ALL? It'd be a lot like San Francisco International, a pilot for a TV series heavily inspired by the movies that inspired Airplane!, like Zero Hour and the various Airports. So come back with us and linger in a place that most people want to pass through as quickly as possible. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 7:21 PM - 5 comments

February 20

Mystery Science Theater 3000: STAR FORCE: FUGITIVE ALIEN II  Rewatch   Season 3, Episode 18

The crew of Earth spaceship Bacchus III deals with various problems, culminating with showdowns with Ken's old girlfriend out of a murder vendetta against him, and the kabuki leader of the Star Wolves himself. Two-fisted Japanese pseudo-Star Wars space adventures with surprisingly great music that was edited into near incomprehensibility by Sandy Frank Productions. It's the sequel to Fugitive Alien, which was slightly more lucid. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 9:44 PM - 4 comments

February 13

Mystery Science Theater 3000: CATALINA CAPER  Rewatch   Season 2, Episode 4

Rewatch! What do you get when you cross a beach movie with a heist movie? Nothing good! It does contain a musical number by Little Richard. This movie marks the establishment of the rule that MST3K would avoid comedies, but it's still a fairly well-remembered episode from the show's classic era. With this film, we're back in Joel territory for a while! Previously
posted by JHarris at 11:40 PM - 4 comments

February 6

Mystery Science Theater 3000: DIABOLIK  Rewatch   Season 10, Episode 13

Rewatch! Super-thief Diabolik steals stuff in a series of wildly implausible heists, such is his hunger to have sex in, on, or in front of valuable things with his girlfriend Eva Kant (who seems to be misnamed). It's based on an Italian comic book. You know, in that country Donald Duck is a superhero. Italian comics are weird, is what I'm sayin'. Again, this was the last episode of the classic series. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 11:30 PM - 10 comments

January 31

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH  Rewatch   Season 8, Episode 17

Shocking terror! Hideous and ridiculous monsters crawl out of the sea! "It had ping-pong balls for eyes!" shrieked one overacting eyewitness! Another moaned unconvincingly, "Oh the carnage, the bad costumes, the poor cinematography!" Will no one put a stop to the atrocities committed by this director and his crew? In subplot news, Pearl and Brain Guy are in ancient Rome. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 4:14 AM - 7 comments

January 24

Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION  Rewatch   Season 8, Episode 10

Rewatch! A small car cosplaying as a big big spider terrorizes a town as we continue through the best classic episodes as selected by poll. Previously.
posted by JHarris at 4:15 PM - 9 comments