Mystery Science Theater Club
A place to talk about our quest to group-watch, over the Internet, the entire 198-episode cable run of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Bad movies with good friends! MST3K episodes on FanFare.
Posts for this club should be tagged: mysterysciencetheater_club.
April 10
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SANTA CLAUS Rewatch Season 5, Episode 21
Rewatch! Santa sees, hears, knows all. Up at his workshop in a castle hovering above the north pole he keeps his helpers, children from every nation. There they work on toys, singing all day long. They can do naught else, lest the forces of hell gain the upper hand. Fortunately Santa has the aid of Merlin and his magical inventions. Kind of a spin-off of the (nearly defunct) Santa's Workshop chain of theme parks, and deeply, deeply insane. Previously.
March 27
Mystery Science Theater 3000: FINAL JUSTICE Rewatch Season 10, Episode 8
Rewatch! Joe Don Baker is a Texas lawman who is sent to accompany a criminal being extradited to Malta. It's a fish out of water scenario, you see! Watch as our protagonist delivers illegal two-fisted American justice in a land wildly outside his jurisdiction with his belligerent catchphrase, "You think you can take me? Go 'head on." Something makes me think this movie didn't do very good business in overseas markets. Previously.
March 20
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE Rewatch Season 6, Episode 4
Rewatch! A young Slab Bulkhead is killed but revived by a Voodoo Lady to get revenge on his killers. Contains Adam West in one of his post-Batman, pre-self-referential roles, begging folk to kill him. Previously
March 13
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE WILD WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN Rewatch Season 5, Episode 15
Rewatch! MST3K has had a lot of goofy movies in its time. We watched one of the silliest, The Dead Talk Back, just last week. But in a field containing Robot Holocaust, Gamera vs. Guiron, Catalina Caper, Monster A-Go-Go, The Pumaman, Quest of the Delta Knights, Hobgoblins, Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, Cry Wilderness, Carnival Magic and Mac And Me, this may still, ultimately, be the silliest. A woman in lingerie organizes a bunch of other scantily clad young women to fight crime and play at being "synthetic vampires," while her nemesis, the dastardly Rat Fink, attempt to steal an atomic hearing aid, by using his irresistible dancing drug, created by his mad scientist cohort, and his minion Heathcliff, who... look, it's just too ridiculous. You can see it for yourself when we watch it Thursday night! Previously
March 7
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DEAD TALK BACK Rewatch Season 6, Episode 3
Rewatch! One of the sillier movies in MST's rich history, this film was made in the 60s but unreleased until shortly before the episode aired. Krasker is a self-styled occultist with a hilariously dramatic speaking style. He lives in the basement of a boarding house with a collection of "supernatural" artifacts that are laugh-out-loud funny even without riffing. For some reason the police hang on this cut-rate Sherlock Holmes' every word, and consult with him on murder cases, a premises so ridiculous that it demonstrates just how stupid it is when investigatory seances happen in real life. But mostly the movie stalls until its sub-Scooby Doo twist ending. Previously.
February 27
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL Rewatch Season 6, Episode 14
Rewatch! What would Airplane! be if it weren't played for laughs, like, at ALL? It'd be a lot like San Francisco International, a pilot for a TV series heavily inspired by the movies that inspired Airplane!, like Zero Hour and the various Airports. So come back with us and linger in a place that most people want to pass through as quickly as possible. Previously.
February 20
Mystery Science Theater 3000: STAR FORCE: FUGITIVE ALIEN II Rewatch Season 3, Episode 18
The crew of Earth spaceship Bacchus III deals with various problems, culminating with showdowns with Ken's old girlfriend out of a murder vendetta against him, and the kabuki leader of the Star Wolves himself. Two-fisted Japanese pseudo-Star Wars space adventures with surprisingly great music that was edited into near incomprehensibility by Sandy Frank Productions. It's the sequel to Fugitive Alien, which was slightly more lucid. Previously.
February 13
Mystery Science Theater 3000: CATALINA CAPER Rewatch Season 2, Episode 4
Rewatch! What do you get when you cross a beach movie with a heist movie? Nothing good! It does contain a musical number by Little Richard. This movie marks the establishment of the rule that MST3K would avoid comedies, but it's still a fairly well-remembered episode from the show's classic era. With this film, we're back in Joel territory for a while! Previously
February 6
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DIABOLIK Rewatch Season 10, Episode 13
Rewatch! Super-thief Diabolik steals stuff in a series of wildly implausible heists, such is his hunger to have sex in, on, or in front of valuable things with his girlfriend Eva Kant (who seems to be misnamed). It's based on an Italian comic book. You know, in that country Donald Duck is a superhero. Italian comics are weird, is what I'm sayin'. Again, this was the last episode of the classic series. Previously.
January 31
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH Rewatch Season 8, Episode 17
Shocking terror! Hideous and ridiculous monsters crawl out of the sea! "It had ping-pong balls for eyes!" shrieked one overacting eyewitness! Another moaned unconvincingly, "Oh the carnage, the bad costumes, the poor cinematography!" Will no one put a stop to the atrocities committed by this director and his crew? In subplot news, Pearl and Brain Guy are in ancient Rome. Previously.
January 24
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION Rewatch Season 8, Episode 10
Rewatch! A small car cosplaying as a big big spider terrorizes a town as we continue through the best classic episodes as selected by poll. Previously.
January 17
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ATOR THE FIGHTING EAGLE Season 12, Episode 6
aka Ator L'Invincible. Every legend has its beginning... even the very bad ones. Long ago barbarian lawyer/surgeon/hangglider enthusiast Ator, from way back in 301 THE CAVE DWELLERS, was born, hidden away from evil guys, and raised to fight the Spider Puppet God. Along the way he falls in love with his sister (WTF), makes nookie with an evil witch lady, finds a magic mirror shield, and suffers all the personal trauma that a primitive fantasy world can dish out. The conclusion to The Gauntlet sees Dr. Erhardt fulfilling Dr. Forrester's last wish, Jonah and the bots shipped to Earth to go on the "Deep Hurting" tour, and Kinga and Max falling into the trap that Jonah spent the past five episodes building. This is the end of Season 12 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and, unless more episodes are made, the series. [more inside]
January 10
Mystery Science Theater 3000: KILLER FISH Season 12, Episode 5
"The adventure that drags you in, pulls you under and tears you apart!" How pleasant. Movies would have us believe there are two major natural threats to people in the water. This movie focuses on the second one. There is a plot involving stolen jewels, but there's a reason the movie's not called TREACHEROUS THIEVES. It's the next-to-last episode of The Gauntlet, and the subplot, involving a returned Dr. Erhardt's quest to have Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank's ashes scattered while playing Idiot Control Now (Joel and the Bots' song from way back in 303 POD PEOPLE), continues, as it turns out Kinga has all of Dr. F's old experiments backed up. This is about three times as much plot as MST usually has. Add in that Jonah is doing something mysterious to help get him and the Bots out of their situation.... [more inside]
January 2
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE DAY TIME ENDED Season 12, Episode 4
"The World Became a Living Hell... When Past, Present and Future Collided...." It certainly did. I'm not even sure what's going on here. Some supernovas happen, and then a family sensibly living in the middle of the desert have crazy encounters with aliens, there's some kind of time-space shenanigans, and by the end you're not sure if they're all in the afterlife or on a journey to an alien city. Solar power may have had something to do with it. Kicking off the second half of (Kinga hand gesture) The Gauntlet, this may be the most challenging film of the sextet. The highlight is a surprise host segment visit from an old friend who, after over 200 episodes, is no longer "missing".... [more inside]
December 12
Mystery Science Theater 3000: LORDS OF THE DEEP Season 12, Episode 3
"The ultimate underwater adventure!" Under de sea... there's scary psychic stingray monsters that control people and turn them into goo! But hey, everything's better where it is wetter, right? Not a film to show to marine biology students. It's episode three of "The Gauntlet," and a weird movie. The SOL has issues with psychic sea monsters and Kinga and Max stage a morning talk show. For fun! Episode 1203 is available on Netflix. [more inside]
December 5
Mystery Science Theater 3000: ATLANTIC RIM Season 12, Episode 2
In a world that we are assured bears no relationship with anything created by Guillermo Del Toro, three pilots of experimental, implausibly humanoid giant robots fight against monsters from the ocean. Where do the monsters come from and why are they attacking now? Who knows! What's more important is that our heroes, Black Guy, Woman and Obnoxious Bro, fight the monsters to both the stern disapproval and enthusiastic approval of General Father Figure. At last the crew of the Satellite of Love come up against the fearsome work of The Asylum, makers of mockbusters extraordure. In subplot news, this is the second of the six movies of "The Gauntlet," Kinga's latest ratings stunt, a sequence of films shown to Jonah and the bots back-to-back. They hold up well, even though the movie is exceptionally tiresome. "Flush them the movie!" Episode 1202 is available on Netflix. [more inside]
November 22
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MAC AND ME Season 12, Episode 1
A wheelchair-bound kid befriends an alien, and then careens off a cliff, goes to McDonalds, gets shot up by NASA, and witnesses the alien and his family become US citizens. MST is back baby, and off to a great start for the shortened Season 12! The premise is that, while you're free to watch the episodes whenever you want, Jonah and the 'bots are supposed subjected to these six movies back-to-back! The riffing and sketches are great in this one (yes, I started watching it within minutes of it premiering on Netflix). Episode 1201 can be seen on Netflix. First aired today, November 22, 2018. [more inside]
November 14
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS Rewatch Season 10, Episode 2
Rewatch! Welcome back to EAT. Enjoy our slightly clean bathrooms, looked after by our janitor Critter. Consult with our local teleporting drug dealer, Buz. And follow the journey of our starry-eyed waitperson Michele as she chases high-class dreams of being a go-go dancer in a big city nightclub The Haunted House. Will she be able to keep her pretty mind long enough to have Critter's varmint? Who can say? The sleaze just drips off this movie, bring sanitizer. Previously.
November 8
Mystery Science Theater 3000: JACK FROST Rewatch Season 8, Episode 13
Rewatch! Of the four Russo-Finish movies MST did, Jack Frost was the only one to make it into our poll, and here it is. It's the story of a braggart young man who gets turned into a bear by Father Mushroom but gets better. It's the story of a young lady whose wicked stepmother makes constantly work and take back seat to her own spiteful daughter. It's the story of a bunch of bandits in the woods and their annual clubs. And it's the story of Father Christmas, who we presume is the titular Jack Frost, and his dangerous accessories. It's another crazy, but somewhat charming, journey through the asteroid belt of forklore and whimsy for the SOL and its crew. Previously.
October 31
Mystery Science Theater 3000: OUTLAW Rewatch Season 5, Episode 19
Rewatch! There's a "counter-Earth" that's on the opposite side of the sun as the normal Earth, the same gimmick from Stranded in Space, but this one's not Authoritarian Dystopia (movie premise #218) so much as Burroughsian Otherworld Barbarian-Style Sword-and-Sorcery Made Possible Through MacGuffin (premise #245). Our many-man hero Cabot (Cabot? Cabot!) travels there through magic crackerjack prize, along with his unmanly-man professorial colleague, and must thwart the machinations of a slumming Jack Palance. Previously.
October 25
Mystery Science Theater 3000: EEGAH Rewatch Season 5, Episode 6
Rewatch! A ridiculous film where an ageless giant living in the California desert, lured out by a teenage girl, finds her creepy father, her annoying boyfriend, bad rock n roll, and policeman's bullets. Eegah have bad day. We're continuing on the episodes picked out by online poll. Previously. [more inside]
October 18
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SKYDIVERS Rewatch Season 6, Episode 9
Rewatch! And...oh hell. We're back in Coleman Francis territory. The least interesting(!) of the three films he made that MST covered, I seem to remember it's about skydiving, marital strife and murder via parachute. Honestly, I have tons of trouble staying awake through this one. I recommend coffee over alcohol. At least one of the show's best shorts, Why Study Industrial Arts?, is also in this episode. Previously.
October 10
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GAMERA VS. ZIGRA Rewatch Season 3, Episode 16
Rewatch! The last of the MST Gamera movies, in which an alien bowl of Trix invades the Earth and hypnotizes folk, but fortunately they can be revived just by getting in their face and shouting "Aaaa!" at them. Another of the films tied for 50th place in our poll. Previously.
October 4
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN Rewatch Season 4, Episode 10
This rewatch is dedicated to Uranus! Hercules (actually Maciste) tries to save the land from space owls. Source of the infamous "DEEP HURTING" and "Saaaandstorm" bits. Previously.
September 26
Mystery Science Theater 3000: WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST Rewatch Season 3, Episode 19
Rewatch! With short Mr. B Natural. This is a case where the short overwhelms the feature. How can the Mexican stereotype-laden continuation of Glenn Manning's tale of tragic bigness possibly compete with 20 minutes of a shrill psychotic ballerina-elf hawking band equipment to unsuspecting schoolkids? Anyway, this is continuing with our tour of the decided-by-poll favorite episodes of classic MST. Previously.
September 19
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TORMENTED Rewatch Season 4, Episode 14
Our decided-by-poll most-popular showings continue with a rewatch of 414 TORMENTED, part of a big tie for 50th place. God, this supernatural horror story of a lover getting revenge from beyond the grave is depressing. Some good host segments in it though.
September 12
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE Rewatch Season 4, Episode 4
Rewatch! "When we get back to our home planet the high council may well sentence you to TOR-CHAA!" Previously. [more inside]
September 5
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE STARFIGHTERS Rewatch Season 6, Episode 12
Former Republican Congressman Bob Dornan stars in this reprehensible promotional piece for both a terrible aircraft and the US Air Force. This is the episode that gave us the "poopy suit," the "song about stock footage," and the United Servo Academy Men's Chorus. This is the beginning of MST Club's encore run of the top 50+, determined by poll, of MST3K episodes. For more information, please click through. [more inside]
August 16
Mystery Science Theater 3000: AT THE EARTH'S CORE Rewatch Season 11, Episode 14
Rewatch! Guys go underground and meet dinosaurs. Kinga almost marries Jonah for ratings. At the moment, this is the last episode of the show, but Season 12 has been announced! Previously.
August 8
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE CHRISTMAS THAT ALMOST WASN'T Rewatch Season 11, Episode 13
Rewatch! A cranky old land developer buys the north pole to throw Santa out, but then learns the true meaning of Christmas. It's the next-to-last episode of the season. Previously.
August 1
Mystery Science Theater 3000: CARNIVAL MAGIC Rewatch Season 11, Episode 12
Rewatch! Possibly the worst movie of Season 11, and divisive. We're talking near-Manos territory here. A (sort of) talking chimpanzee engages in shenanigans, and people are surprisingly blase about it. Alcohol is suggested. At least Mark Hamill is in a host segment! Singing a song! Previously.
July 25
Mystery Science Theater 3000: WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM II Rewatch Season 11, Episode 11
Rewatch! Another awful fantasy movie, one that has nothing to do with part one. In Moon 13, Kinga decides to marry Jonah for ratings. Pearl and company also drop by. Previously.
July 19
Mystery Science Theater 3000: WIZARDS OF THE LOST KINGDOM I Rewatch Season 11, Episode 10
Rewatch! Come to see a bunch of cut-rate LARPers roaming the enchanted countryside, stay for Apeula. Because: Apeula. Also, we got the start of the subplot that takes us to the end of the season, Kinga forcing Jonah to marry her for ratings gold, to the dismay of Max.
July 12
Mystery Science Theater 3000: YONGARY, MONSTER FROM THE DEEP Rewatch Season 11, Episode 9
Rewatch! Another giant lizard terrorizes an Asian city, although this time it's Seoul, not Tokyo. Along the way we meet a perfectly obnoxious little boy. Previously.
July 5
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE LOVES OF HERCULES Rewatch Season 11, Episode 8
Rewatch! We embark on the second half of Season 11 with everyone's favorite ancient Greek lump of flesh as he romances some ladies. Previously.
June 28
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT Rewatch Season 11, Episode 7
Rewatch! "'The Land That Slipped Time's Mind,' or 'The McClure That the Simpsons Forgot,' or 'T-Rex Meets U-Boat but Y?'" What first seems to be a wartime drama about Allied prisoners on a U-Boat trying to take it over changes when they discover a dinosaur-filled lost world. Previously. [more inside]
June 20
Mystery Science Theater 3000: STARCRASH Rewatch Season 11, Episode 6
Rewatch! "'The Giving Away the Ending Hall of Fame' or 'Former Evangelist Marjoe Prays for a Better Movie!'" One of the few movies in MST history where the film's badness may, itself, be more entertaining than the riffs. Starcrash is a ludicrous mess, but still lots of fun, with its skimpy space bikini, texas-talking robot, giant mecha-amazon, Marjoe Gortner as a Jedi with the serial numbers filed off, David Hasselhoff as David Hasselhoff, and a seriously slumming Christopher Plummer. I could go on! [more inside]
June 14
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE BEAST OF HOLLOW MOUNTAIN Rewatch Season 11, Episode 5
Rewatch! "Tyrannosaurus Tex-Mex," or "Mexican Dinosaurs Aren't Just for Tacos!"
So much of this movie is just a standard Western, UNTIL.... [more inside]
June 7
Mystery Science Theater 3000: AVALANCHE Rewatch Season 11, Episode 4
Rewatch! "'Ski Faster!' or 'Half a Lanche Is Better Than None,' or 'Rock Hudson Slide!' or 'Not the Last Resort But Close.'" Rock Hudson ignores safety warnings when building his resort, and tragedy ensues. [more inside]
May 30
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE TIME TRAVELERS Rewatch Season 11, Episode 3
Rewatch! Some scientists find themselves stuck in a future time where the last civilized humans are trying to escape a barren Earth. Previously. [more inside]
May 23
Mystery Science Theater 3000: CRY WILDERNESS Rewatch Season 11, Episode 2
Rewatch! In the year since it was first shown, Cry Wilderness has shaped up to be one of the best episodes of MST3K's eleventh season. It's an exceedingly ludicrous movie with a magic Bigfoot, one of those noble Native American spirit people, and a jerkass US Marshall who thinks nothing about breaking into someone's home and eating their food. Previously.
May 16
Mystery Science Theater 3000: REPTILICUS Rewatch Season 11, Episode 1
Rewatch! Starting in on Season 11, Reptilicus, and the show's new premise and cast. It's been a year since Season 11 debuted, how does it hold up? Previously.
May 5
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DIABOLIK Season 10, Episode 13
AKA Danger: Diabolik. "Out for all he can take, seduce, or get away with." A master criminal steals all kinds of stuff in a series of capers, killing lots of people along the way. Oh, and he's our protagonist, yay! He's based on an Italian comic character, which might explain things a bit. Pearl plays around with a joystick she got at Radio Shack, but it breaks and sends the Satellite of Love into reentry, and she can't do anything about it. Mike and the 'bots are coming home! And with this, we have reached the end of our tour of Mystery Science Theater 3000; see inside for closing words and odds and ends. But MST Club isn't done yet! Episode 1013 is available on YouTube. Premiered August 8, 1999. [more inside]
April 30
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SQUIRM Season 10, Episode 12
"This was the night of the CRAWLING TERROR!" I have one more useful science factoid to teach you: if you run an electrical current through an earthworm, it'll become an aggressive monster and crave human flesh! But only while the current is running. This movie helpfully shows us the lethal consequences of downed power lines, which result in the depopulation of a small town. But it's a Georgia town, so, no worries. With the short A Case of Spring Fever: A film that warns us, for the sake of all mankind, to guard our tongues! Say no careless words in wishing for the absence of any petty thing that annoys you, for there may be an omnipotent spirit listening, and waiting, willing, even eager, to remove all those things from the universe just to spite you personally. To think of all the things our world has lost, all because some schmuck decided to say aloud he was annoyed with, say, immortality this week. One more film about unpleasant people in the South. Notable for containing the phrase, "You gonna be da worm face now!" The episode contains MST3K's last short, and it's one of the best. Episode 1012 is available on YouTube. Premiered August 1, 1999. One episode left. [more inside]
April 25
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND Season 10, Episode 11
AKA Ein Toter hing im Netz or "Body in the Web." "HAIR-RAISING! SPINE-CHILLING! One bite from a giant spider turned him into THE WORLD'S MOST HIDEOUS MONSTER with a diabolical lust to KILL!" Our movie starts out with guys hiring exotic dancers to send to Singapore, their natural habitat. The contents of the plane are so sexy that it crashes into the ocean. All passengers survive somehow and wash ashore on an uncharted desert isle. The girls celebrate by taking off all their clothes, except of course for their skin-colored bodysuits because we can't have anything risque. Then: SPIDERS! Maybe the writers were having an off week, or maybe news of the show's impending cancellation had affected them, but fans don't consider this episode a favorite. We shall enjoy it all the same. In host segments, Pearl moves her castle to the suburbs for a couple of hours. Episode 1011 is available on YouTube. Premiered July 25, 1999. Two episodes left. [more inside]
April 18
Mystery Science Theater 3000: IT LIVES BY NIGHT Season 10, Episode 10
a.k.a. The Bat People. "No matter how hard you pray or how loud you scream there is no escape... no escape... no escape... no escape..." A guy on a research honeymoon gets bitten by a bat and starts transforming into some kind of... bat... person as a result, sure that happens. Look out for the special surprise ending where we find out bat-person-osis is also an STD. Pearl has fun mutating the SOL crew, and Tom Servo has way too big of a mustache. An okay episode. Episode 1010 is available on YouTube. Premiered July 18, 1999. Three episodes left. [more inside]
April 11
Mystery Science Theater 3000: HAMLET Season 10, Episode 9
Something's rotten in Denmark. Prince Hamlet finds out his dad the king is suddenly dead, and his uncle Claudius has just as suddenly married his mum and taken the throne. Sound suspecious? So thinks Hamlet's dad's ghost, who tells him it was murder and demands revenge. But Hamlet's indecisive, so he pretends to be cray-cray so he can gather clues without alerting Claudius. While so detecting, Hamlet kills a series of people with varying degrees of intent, and holds a skull a bit. He gets revenge, but dies too. I'm going to level with you. This episode is commonly regarded as one of the less accessible ones. It's another case where the movie drags everything down. This is a low budget, black-and-white, 1961 made-for-TV German production of Hamlet, with over half the content cut for time, dubbed into English. It's a bit entertaining that a couple of the dubbers are, it turns out, Ricardo "Khaaaan!" Montalban and John "Sgt. Schultz" Banner themselves, but it's still a dry episode. It's all downhill from here! Episode 1009 is available on YouTube. Premiered June 27, 1999. Four episodes left. [more inside]
April 5
Mystery Science Theater 3000: FINAL JUSTICE Season 10, Episode 8
"His name is Thomas Jefferson Geronimo. His brand of justice doesn't stop at the Texas border." A Texas sheriff played by Joe Don Baker (Mitchell himself) is assigned to escort a mob boss to Italy, but the plane gets sidetracked to Malta, resulting in a series of cartoon episodes where he tries to catch him but keeps getting arrested, darn it! This is the episode where Crow and Servo destroy Goosio, beloved children's character of Malta. Episode 1008 is available on YouTube. Premiered June 20, 1999. Five episodes left. [more inside]
March 29
Mystery Science Theater 3000: TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST Season 10, Episode 7
"The Riding Moon Creates a Monster" From the depths of space comes a meteor, which konks a guy in the head, causing the most logical thing to happen: sometimes he turns into a lizard and kills people. A fun episode, generally enjoyed by the three main fansites we track. The movie, which contains a character named Johnny Longbow, was actually co-written by Batman co-creator Bill Finger. Episode 1007 is available on YouTube. Premiered June 13, 1999. Six episodes left. [more inside]
March 21
Mystery Science Theater 3000: BOGGY CREEK II: AND THE LEGEND CONTINUES Season 10, Episode 6
"The Legend Too Monstrous To Die...Surfaces Again" "Do they really exist..?" A know-it-all professor on the lookout for bigfeet out in Arkansaw tells stories of said creatures to his grad assistants, then finds way, way, WAY too much. One of the most uniquely horrible movies MST ever did. Not only is it pretty badly made, but the characters are unlikeable, there's an entire section devoted to outhouse shenanigans (thankfully shortened in the riffed version) and then, at the end--Old Man Crenshaw! In host segments, Pearl tries to spread the legend of a creature lurking around Castle Forrester--it's Bobo, of course, but that doesn't stop Hank Brain Guy Jr. from writing a country song about it. Episode 1006 is available for viewing on YouTube. Premiered May 9, 1999. Seven episodes left. [more inside]
March 14
Mystery Science Theater 3000: BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z Season 10, Episode 5
a.k.a. Zaat. "Is The Monster Man...Fish...Or Devil?" "It Would Take An Atom Bomb To Wipe Out The Walking Catfish!" "WARNING! Positively no one admitted during last 15 minutes!" Sargassum! After a short, nonsensical narration of an aquarium, a scientist charts on his gigantic circular day-planner his revenge on the scientific establishment, and the world that shunned his ideas, by turning himself into a monster that he calls (but isn't) a fish, then sets about making himself a fishy mate, while very southern authorities try to stop him. We've been through some adventures, haven't we? Well here's one more, the last of what I'd call the extreme pain category of episodes. Great host segments in this one! This episode is available to watch on YouTube. Premiered June 27, 1998. Eight episodes left. [more inside]
March 7
Mystery Science Theater 3000: FUTURE WAR Season 10, Episode 4
"It came from the future to hunt humans." A human taken from the past to be a slave in the future escapes to the present. He's chased by a familiar-looking guy with a really big chin and his dinosaur trackers. Nicely inconspicuous, future guy! He's helped by a street-wise nun and her street gang friends. Thank you for not killing me. In the words of Crow, "You know, I could point out it's not the future and there isn't a war, but you know me. I don't like to complain." This is a particularly laughable movie, although not one of the show's more famous episodes. Episode 1004 is available on YouTube. Premiered April 25, 1999. Nine episodes left. [more inside]
February 28
Mystery Science Theater 3000: MERLIN'S SHOP OF MYSTICAL WONDERS Season 10, Episode 3
"In a world where magic truly exists, anything can happen." What if... someone made a movie like The Princess Bride, except instead of Peter Falk he could only get Ernest Borgnine, and instead of a charming and witty tale he had two mediocre made-for-TV fantasy-horror movies, and the kid instead of going to sleep with dreams of high adventure and romance was instead left with nightmares of demonic familiars and cursed deadly toy monkeys? In a world where schlock truly exists anything can happen. I love this one, it's all so bizarre and inexplicable. It's easy to make fun of Ernest Borgnine (hell, I do it too) but he had a long career and seemed like a good guy. In subplot land Pearl performs an experiment on Mike and co. for the Mad Science accreditation board. Taste the rainbow of fruit pain! Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is available on YouTube. Premiered September 12, 1999. By the way: this was the last new episode of MST3K to appear on the Sci-Fi channel, actually showing after the series conclusion. Ten episodes left. [more inside]
February 21
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS Season 10, Episode 2
"VIBRANT... UNPREDICTABLE... She hungered for fame... the men in her life offered love, danger, excitement!" "She murdered for fame, but the price tag was too much!" Michele is a dancer with big dreams: to work as a go-go girl in a seedy restaurant called EAT. Her meteroic rise is troubled by the conflicting attractions of EAT's janitor (name of "Critter"), and Buz, EAT's drug dealer. Will she be able to keep her pretty pretty mind? Will you? There are only four Sci-Fi Channel era episodes that don't have to do with sci-fi, fantasy or horror, and this is the first. Although the horror could come from all the slime dripping off the film, which is off-putting to sane people. This episode kicks off the "Mad Scientist accreditation" subplot in Castle Forrester, which would last to the end of the show. Episode 1002 can be found on YouTube. Premiered June 27, 1998. 11 episodes left. [more inside]
February 14
Mystery Science Theater 3000: SOULTAKER Season 10, Episode 1
"There is no stairway to heaven." Because it turns out to be an elevator. Some dumb teens cross the Maximum Allowable Dumb line and are punished via a car crash that kills them. But wait, maybe they aren't dead? Because it turns out the Grim Reaper (Joe Estevez) is incompetent and can't leave personal issues at home. His boss (Robert Z'dar) is so going to write him up. This is a great episode, not just because the movie is goofy and the riffing excellent. This is the episode where "TVs" Frank Conniff and show creator and first host Joel Hodgson come back to visit! This is the first episode of the 10th season of MST3K, the final classic season of the show. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered June 27, 1998. 12 episodes left. [more inside]
February 7
Mystery Science Theater 3000: QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS Season 9, Episode 13
"In an age of swords and sorcery, one young hero holds the key to infinite wisdom--and ultimate power." Not any sorcery, actually. Somewhere in the medieval nation of Europe, a young boy is sold as a slave but bought/rescued by "Baydool," who works for the "Delta Knights," against the villainous "Vultare," who works for "The Mannerjay." They're trying to find the lost treasure of Archimedes, Leonardo da Vinci is with them--if you try to make sense of when or where this film happened you'll go crazy. Roll for initiative! This is an underrated episode I think. The movie's got a crazy premise, the settings seem like they came from a LARP, and it just opens itself to riffing, which is nice after a couple of numbing episodes. Host segments are also great, with the "Loaner AMC Crow," another of Servo's chorus performances, and Pearl doing the riffing for the first quarter of the episode. This is the end of Season Nine of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Assembled people and robots, we have entered the home stretch. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered September 26, 1998. 13 episodes left. [more inside]
January 31
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE SCREAMING SKULL Season 9, Episode 12
"FREE! We Guarentee To Bury You Without Charge If You Die Of Fright During SCREAMING SKULL!" A man and his new wife move into a house. Wait, the house was owned by his previous, now dead, wife? Who died mysteriously? And the new wife has a lot of money? Can you see where this is going? With short Robot Rumpus: Clayboy Gumby and his pony pal Pokey make robots to do his yardwork, but they run amok amok amok amok. Most say the movie's extremely drab and hard to watch, but the short is excellent, both fun itself and terrific riffing fodder. The bots do not well handle the sight of the fate of their claymation brethren: "This is how it is in the real world! Horrid lumps of discharge destroy beautiful, innocent robots with impunity!" In Castle Forrester, Pearl and company try to play a bizarre joke on Mike and his contingent, resulting ultimately in the shrinking of Bobo. Hah. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered August 29, 1998. 14 episodes left. [more inside]
January 25
Mystery Science Theater 3000: DEVIL FISH Season 9, Episode 11
"Sink your teeth into pure terror." "Wave goodbye..." Good luck making sense of this horribly-edited movie. A fish (with tentacles somehow) is terrorizing some folk, was made by a villain, and others are trying to stop them. There's some sex in there I think too. Pearl rents the castle out as a cruise ship (what) and Mike twice incurs the wrath of the Space Dolphin empire (what). In a host segment, Crow muses about combining a shark with an octopus, making him technically the ultimate origin of the movie Sharktopus. Thanks a heap, 'bot. Promo The episode itself doesn't appear to be on YouTube. Premiered August 15, 1998. 15 episodes left. [more inside]
January 17
Mystery Science Theater 3000: THE FINAL SACRIFICE Season 9, Episode 10
"A lost city... A cult of unholy warriors... And a boy's quest for the secret of his father's death." Teenaged orphan Troy is on a quest across Canada to find out what happened to his father. In a pair of improbable coincidences, he meets a reformed, former member of the cult responsible for his death and his old partner, before finally confronting its leader. That reformed cult member goes by the name of Zap Rowsdower.... Fans generally regard this as one of the best of the Sci-Fi Channel era episodes. Both the riffing and the host segments are first-rate. This episode gives us the Canada Song and a Satellite-wide outbreak of Hockey Hair. YouTube (1h32m) Premiered July 25, 1998. 16 episodes left. Extra: The Rowsdower Song, from a post I made some time back. Have some more Rowsdowers. [more inside]
January 11
Mystery Science Theater 3000: GORGO Season 9, Episode 9
LIKE NOTHING YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! A gigantic sea lizard emerges from the ocean off the British coast and wrecks stuff, but is captured. Then its mother shows up. Oops! Mormo could not be reached by press time. Note that the short intro blurbs often seen in these writeups are taken from advertising for the movie. I don't myself claim you've never seen something like this obvious British Godzilla clone before. Leonard Maltin (a good sport) shows up in a couple of host segments! This episode is not available on YouTube. Premiered July 18, 1998. 17 episodes left. [more inside]