Prometheus (2012)
October 20, 2021 9:07 PM - Subscribe
A team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.
This is, of course, the prequel to the Alien movie franchise, directed by Ridley Scott, who directed the original Alien (previously on the purple). I just recently watched it, it having appeared sometime in the indeterminate recent past on Amazon Prime, and then reviewed this thread on the blue which critically reconsidered the movie five years after its original release, and I can sum up my experience with the second comment: "I still haven't seen a defense of Prometheus that wasn't defending some version of Prometheus that didn't make it to the theaters."
There is some really striking imagery in the movie, although I was reminded of my reaction to Scott's The Martian: the most beautiful shots rarely involved people. (And the most beautiful shots involving people in this one didn't involve humans.) The plot was lifted straight from the original movie and most of the sequels: people go out into space and find something horrible, the situation is made more horrible by a corporation secretly trying to exploit the situation, and neither the people nor the corporation are really prepared for the situation. Survivors are minimal. It seems like even the more prominently-featured actors don't seem to have quite enough to do, with the possible exception of Michael Fassbender, looking very Bowiesque as the obligatory android. The late-act plot twist is telegraphed well in advance. One massacre is precipitated by the absence of a security camera in the place on the ship that it would make the absolute most sense to have one.
The movie was followed by another sequel, Alien: Covenant, which is not yet available to watch for free/as part of a streaming subscription that I already have. I can wait.
This is, of course, the prequel to the Alien movie franchise, directed by Ridley Scott, who directed the original Alien (previously on the purple). I just recently watched it, it having appeared sometime in the indeterminate recent past on Amazon Prime, and then reviewed this thread on the blue which critically reconsidered the movie five years after its original release, and I can sum up my experience with the second comment: "I still haven't seen a defense of Prometheus that wasn't defending some version of Prometheus that didn't make it to the theaters."
There is some really striking imagery in the movie, although I was reminded of my reaction to Scott's The Martian: the most beautiful shots rarely involved people. (And the most beautiful shots involving people in this one didn't involve humans.) The plot was lifted straight from the original movie and most of the sequels: people go out into space and find something horrible, the situation is made more horrible by a corporation secretly trying to exploit the situation, and neither the people nor the corporation are really prepared for the situation. Survivors are minimal. It seems like even the more prominently-featured actors don't seem to have quite enough to do, with the possible exception of Michael Fassbender, looking very Bowiesque as the obligatory android. The late-act plot twist is telegraphed well in advance. One massacre is precipitated by the absence of a security camera in the place on the ship that it would make the absolute most sense to have one.
The movie was followed by another sequel, Alien: Covenant, which is not yet available to watch for free/as part of a streaming subscription that I already have. I can wait.
The one movie that made me raging with confusion and dismay at the narrative choices in recent years* while i was watching it (usually movie magic works on me and then i snap out when the credits roll).
*This is before BvS
posted by cendawanita at 9:20 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
*This is before BvS
posted by cendawanita at 9:20 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
porpoise: see second link above.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:44 PM on October 20, 2021
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:44 PM on October 20, 2021
It's been years since I've seen the film and I have almost entirely forgotten the plot.
But I seem to remember that was a problem which affected the writers as well.
posted by rongorongo at 11:44 PM on October 20, 2021 [10 favorites]
But I seem to remember that was a problem which affected the writers as well.
posted by rongorongo at 11:44 PM on October 20, 2021 [10 favorites]
The (only?) good thing about this movie is Fassbender's performance. It's perfectly cromulent.
posted by Pendragon at 2:26 AM on October 21, 2021
posted by Pendragon at 2:26 AM on October 21, 2021
Amazed that there wasn't a FF post on this film until now.
This thing may top The Phantom Menace as the most disappointing movie I've seen in a theater. I was so hyped by the trailers and the movie is just so dire. What a waste of a great cast and some great visuals.
posted by octothorpe at 4:14 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
This thing may top The Phantom Menace as the most disappointing movie I've seen in a theater. I was so hyped by the trailers and the movie is just so dire. What a waste of a great cast and some great visuals.
posted by octothorpe at 4:14 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
There's a lot wrong with this movie on a writing level (I honestly have no idea why people think highly of Damon Lindelof), but I've seen it probably five times, because the atmosphere, imagery and (most of the) performances are great. I've seen Covenant three or four times as well. I've found the key to enjoying any Alien sequel, prequel or spinoff is to consider it non-canon.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:17 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:17 AM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Turn! Turn! - Run sideways!
This has been such a thing... Heck, this even appeared in S02 of The Mandalorian....
posted by rozcakj at 6:09 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
This has been such a thing... Heck, this even appeared in S02 of The Mandalorian....
posted by rozcakj at 6:09 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
I feel like I've talked about this on MeFi before, though not the linked thread above.
To me at least, there's something not just dumb about the writing, but repellant in the themes of this movie. It's oddly gendered. It's made to matter that Noomi Rapace is infertile, that the automedibot doesn't have the girl DLC unlocked, that we have this resentful android son and the spurned undesired daughter, and ofc the story of a kind of ur-patriarch. I think I've said before that whereas Alien (and Aliens to more literal degree) is about organic and biological sex and is therefore riffing on "horrific motherhood" (in the traditional cishet sense bc I think these movies come from very cishet places), Prometheus is trying to be about "horrific fatherhood", the male desire to create, and what is more creatory than making life without a woman involved.
Anyway that is the most sense I can make out of Prometheus. I don't like it though, it feels like a real, "When's international MEN's day????" of a movie. I don't like it because I suspect that it's not intentional. I feel like the automedibot isn't programmed for women just because they just reached into the bag where they keep all their perils and plot wrinkles and just happened to pull out another sexism-colored ball.
However for all that I think Covenant is worse because of how it ties back into Alien. In Prometheus it's kind of a stupid thing that the present this new kind of xenomorph. Like wow, neat design and all, but wtf are you trying to sell merchandise? Is this idiotic fan service like TRON hype or idk people who give a shit about which Iron Man suits will be in the next movie? It's dumb to have a teaser of a nu-type xenomorph, what a dumb fucking ending. But then the way Covenent bridges the gap between this and Alien is bizarrely sadistic, and IMHO ruins Alien if you take it seriously, which I refuse to do lmao.
posted by fleacircus at 6:17 AM on October 21, 2021 [10 favorites]
To me at least, there's something not just dumb about the writing, but repellant in the themes of this movie. It's oddly gendered. It's made to matter that Noomi Rapace is infertile, that the automedibot doesn't have the girl DLC unlocked, that we have this resentful android son and the spurned undesired daughter, and ofc the story of a kind of ur-patriarch. I think I've said before that whereas Alien (and Aliens to more literal degree) is about organic and biological sex and is therefore riffing on "horrific motherhood" (in the traditional cishet sense bc I think these movies come from very cishet places), Prometheus is trying to be about "horrific fatherhood", the male desire to create, and what is more creatory than making life without a woman involved.
Anyway that is the most sense I can make out of Prometheus. I don't like it though, it feels like a real, "When's international MEN's day????" of a movie. I don't like it because I suspect that it's not intentional. I feel like the automedibot isn't programmed for women just because they just reached into the bag where they keep all their perils and plot wrinkles and just happened to pull out another sexism-colored ball.
However for all that I think Covenant is worse because of how it ties back into Alien. In Prometheus it's kind of a stupid thing that the present this new kind of xenomorph. Like wow, neat design and all, but wtf are you trying to sell merchandise? Is this idiotic fan service like TRON hype or idk people who give a shit about which Iron Man suits will be in the next movie? It's dumb to have a teaser of a nu-type xenomorph, what a dumb fucking ending. But then the way Covenent bridges the gap between this and Alien is bizarrely sadistic, and IMHO ruins Alien if you take it seriously, which I refuse to do lmao.
posted by fleacircus at 6:17 AM on October 21, 2021 [10 favorites]
The thing that's so frustrating about Prometheus is that it's technically skilled and well-shot and there are so many ways where even the writing is *almost* really good.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:20 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:20 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
I don't like it because I suspect that it's not intentional. I feel like the automedibot isn't programmed for women just because they just reached into the bag where they keep all their perils and plot wrinkles and just happened to pull out another sexism-colored ball.
In an earlier thread on the blue about this movie, I think I noted that they could have significantly raised the intrigue of that scene by having the machine say "that procedure has been deleted" instead.
posted by gauche at 6:32 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
In an earlier thread on the blue about this movie, I think I noted that they could have significantly raised the intrigue of that scene by having the machine say "that procedure has been deleted" instead.
posted by gauche at 6:32 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
This is on cable a lot, and I'm pretty sure that excluding the first thirty minutes I have seen this movie several times, albeit in chunks during commercial breaks of other, much better, programs like You Gotta Eat Here and Help! I Wrecked My House. I do not think watching it straight through from the beginning would significantly increase my opinion of it.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:33 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:33 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
All I can say about this movie is seek out a fan edit. It'll be a quest for sure. There are some out there where the fans have finished the vfx for a late movie deleted scene and every deleted scene the fans added back in or bit of clunkiness they trimmed out makes for a better movie. I'd suggest searching for the Chaos Edition fanedits. The film as released is frustrating dogshit.
posted by Catblack at 6:35 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Catblack at 6:35 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]
I honestly have no idea why people think highly of Damon Lindelof
I think it carries through with JJ Abrams and it's just that it's TV writing. If you try to think why things are happening, like, what do they mean, why is it like this, you will go crazy, because they don't really mean anything, they are just the cheapest and easiest dramatic setups and payoffs to fill time.
posted by fleacircus at 6:55 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
I think it carries through with JJ Abrams and it's just that it's TV writing. If you try to think why things are happening, like, what do they mean, why is it like this, you will go crazy, because they don't really mean anything, they are just the cheapest and easiest dramatic setups and payoffs to fill time.
posted by fleacircus at 6:55 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
I honestly have no idea why people think highly of Damon Lindelof
To be honest, I still have no idea idea how the person who helmed the Watchmen TV series is the same person who wrote this, Lost, two of the Star Trek movies, and Cowboys vs Aliens. I also understand The Leftovers is uncharacteristically good.
posted by Merus at 8:19 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
To be honest, I still have no idea idea how the person who helmed the Watchmen TV series is the same person who wrote this, Lost, two of the Star Trek movies, and Cowboys vs Aliens. I also understand The Leftovers is uncharacteristically good.
posted by Merus at 8:19 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]
I mean, I completely see how it's the same writer, but to each their own, lol.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:47 AM on October 21, 2021
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:47 AM on October 21, 2021
I can justify this movie only because it introduced me to that scene from Lawrence of Arabia where Lawrence explains the "trick" of putting out a match with his fingertips as "not minding that it hurts." That scene has on more than one occasion proven a remarkably apt metaphor for a situation at my job, and I've linked people to that scene (from Lawrence of Arabia, not Prometheus) more than once as the tl;dr version of something my upper management said.
I mean I know I saw Lawrence of Arabia at some point, but it's been so long I'd completely forgotten that scene. Or maybe I just saw chunks of it on TV? I don't know.
posted by Naberius at 10:24 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
I mean I know I saw Lawrence of Arabia at some point, but it's been so long I'd completely forgotten that scene. Or maybe I just saw chunks of it on TV? I don't know.
posted by Naberius at 10:24 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
There are some films where the plot elements are so well planned that the removal or addition of any single strand or scene would make the film less comprehensible.
Prometheus is the opposite - removing any single one of the existing plot points would make the resulting film stronger, to the extent that it would probably be better as a stand-alone story rather than a weak Alien prequel. Carrying this thought experiment through, we can prove by induction that Prometheus gets better the more plot points you remove. It is possible that the best version of the film is just the opening and closing credits.
I wrote a review at the time - needless to say I did not care for the film.
posted by AndrewStephens at 10:42 AM on October 21, 2021 [11 favorites]
Prometheus is the opposite - removing any single one of the existing plot points would make the resulting film stronger, to the extent that it would probably be better as a stand-alone story rather than a weak Alien prequel. Carrying this thought experiment through, we can prove by induction that Prometheus gets better the more plot points you remove. It is possible that the best version of the film is just the opening and closing credits.
I wrote a review at the time - needless to say I did not care for the film.
posted by AndrewStephens at 10:42 AM on October 21, 2021 [11 favorites]
God, this movie was so stupid and boring. IIRC, isn't there some scientist, like an xeno-biologist or something, who at first is all "ew, everything here is gross, no way I'm going out there!" and then later he sees this obviously freaky-ass alien snake baby with a vagina dentata mouth and he's all, "Wow, it's so cute and beautiful, I wuv it!" and TAKES OFF HIS FUCKING GLOVE TO TOUCH IT and so of course it eats his face or something. Like, not only is the character completely inconsistent from one scene to the next, he's also the ONE person who should KNOW that you don't just touch alien creatures with your bare fucking skin. I mean COME ON people.
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:51 AM on October 21, 2021 [12 favorites]
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:51 AM on October 21, 2021 [12 favorites]
Naberius, to quote a certain someone, keep the great movie out of your crappy movie.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 11:00 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 11:00 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
I generally try not to post on Fanfare to dunk on movies as the rest of the internet tends to have that covered but I feel like I need to chime in on this one.
There's been plenty written (above and elsewhere) on the ways in which the writing fails but this movie is specifically the one I cite when I rage about the "X movie ending explained!" phenomenon that's so popular at the moment. Ambiguity and leaving things open to audience interpretation have become sins to avoid and every movie needs a prequel and every Marvel movie needs to be an origin story because the very idea of an audience asking questions during a film that aren't all answered within the runtime is seen as unacceptable. Promotheus is the proud poster child of this trend.
There is nothing more antithetical to a film called "Alien" than to set out to answer questions to explicitly make it all feel less alien. The first three movies raise more questions than they answer (about aliens, they say plenty about people & corporations when faced with the unknown) but this film is so interested in answering questions as if though the last 4 decades all anyone has been saying was "otherwise good movies but what was up with those aliens?"
The comparisons to Episode One are appropriate. There's no reason for Weyland-Yutani to be directly related to the creation of the aliens any more than R2D2 and C3PO being known to Anakin as a kid.
It makes the whole universe feels smaller and "familiar" as the literal antonym to the word "alien".
posted by slimepuppy at 11:06 AM on October 21, 2021 [21 favorites]
There's been plenty written (above and elsewhere) on the ways in which the writing fails but this movie is specifically the one I cite when I rage about the "X movie ending explained!" phenomenon that's so popular at the moment. Ambiguity and leaving things open to audience interpretation have become sins to avoid and every movie needs a prequel and every Marvel movie needs to be an origin story because the very idea of an audience asking questions during a film that aren't all answered within the runtime is seen as unacceptable. Promotheus is the proud poster child of this trend.
There is nothing more antithetical to a film called "Alien" than to set out to answer questions to explicitly make it all feel less alien. The first three movies raise more questions than they answer (about aliens, they say plenty about people & corporations when faced with the unknown) but this film is so interested in answering questions as if though the last 4 decades all anyone has been saying was "otherwise good movies but what was up with those aliens?"
The comparisons to Episode One are appropriate. There's no reason for Weyland-Yutani to be directly related to the creation of the aliens any more than R2D2 and C3PO being known to Anakin as a kid.
It makes the whole universe feels smaller and "familiar" as the literal antonym to the word "alien".
posted by slimepuppy at 11:06 AM on October 21, 2021 [21 favorites]
It makes the whole universe feels smaller and "familiar" as the literal antonym to the word "alien".
I think you have hit on something very fundamental (for me personally anyways) - I have been a fan of Star Wars, Star Trek, Alien(s) since, well... forever.
What I have always wanted as a fan was never a detailed explanation or origin story for everything - but more stories in the same universe, expanding it, giving it texture and even more mystery. (Hence, why I loved paper RPG's based on franchises - even if I never really played any)
Sure - sometimes having some common characters can help tie together the universe - but - having to have everything related and everyone involved, actually makes it feel soooo much smaller... (Looking at you Mandalorian season 2...)
posted by rozcakj at 11:24 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
I think you have hit on something very fundamental (for me personally anyways) - I have been a fan of Star Wars, Star Trek, Alien(s) since, well... forever.
What I have always wanted as a fan was never a detailed explanation or origin story for everything - but more stories in the same universe, expanding it, giving it texture and even more mystery. (Hence, why I loved paper RPG's based on franchises - even if I never really played any)
Sure - sometimes having some common characters can help tie together the universe - but - having to have everything related and everyone involved, actually makes it feel soooo much smaller... (Looking at you Mandalorian season 2...)
posted by rozcakj at 11:24 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
I've rewatched it a few times to figure out how not to tell a story.
After watching it the first time, my housemates at the time played a pretty fun game imagining an alternate movie where all the plot motivations and character relationships were accounted for. There's a good movie to be teased out of that pile of ashes.
posted by ishmael at 11:44 AM on October 21, 2021
After watching it the first time, my housemates at the time played a pretty fun game imagining an alternate movie where all the plot motivations and character relationships were accounted for. There's a good movie to be teased out of that pile of ashes.
posted by ishmael at 11:44 AM on October 21, 2021
I rage about the "X movie ending explained!" phenomenon... Ambiguity and leaving things open to audience interpretation have become sins to avoid
110% agreement here. My own pet theory (which I guess you could call "'X movie ending explained!' explained!") is that this excessive desire for certainty, to have every question answered, every loose end neatly tied up, is a response to the general feeling that no one has any control over their own lives and that the external world is basically impossible to understand. Fan-service origin stories for every single character give people a sense of security and surety, that they know what's going on and that the world, at least this fictional one, "makes sense." The related phenomenon of counterfactual fan theories ("OK, I think that the whole original trilogy was just a dream that Anakin had when Palpatine first tried to convert him, but then the final trilogy was a dream that dying Anakin had when Luke took off his helmet, so that means that really Jar-Jar is telling all of this as a story to Baby Yoda...") is basically the same need for narrative certainty and control, but routed through the near universal distrust of official institutions and the rise of conspiracy theories to fill the void.
This is why I also think that if/when civilization collapses and humans live in some sort of post-apocalyptic world of neo-feudal warlords, the old religions of the world will be challenged, and maybe swept away, by the rise of new religions based on 20th and 21st century properties like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Marvel, etc.
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:12 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
110% agreement here. My own pet theory (which I guess you could call "'X movie ending explained!' explained!") is that this excessive desire for certainty, to have every question answered, every loose end neatly tied up, is a response to the general feeling that no one has any control over their own lives and that the external world is basically impossible to understand. Fan-service origin stories for every single character give people a sense of security and surety, that they know what's going on and that the world, at least this fictional one, "makes sense." The related phenomenon of counterfactual fan theories ("OK, I think that the whole original trilogy was just a dream that Anakin had when Palpatine first tried to convert him, but then the final trilogy was a dream that dying Anakin had when Luke took off his helmet, so that means that really Jar-Jar is telling all of this as a story to Baby Yoda...") is basically the same need for narrative certainty and control, but routed through the near universal distrust of official institutions and the rise of conspiracy theories to fill the void.
This is why I also think that if/when civilization collapses and humans live in some sort of post-apocalyptic world of neo-feudal warlords, the old religions of the world will be challenged, and maybe swept away, by the rise of new religions based on 20th and 21st century properties like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Marvel, etc.
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:12 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
(Oh, also, Alien: Covenant is maybe even stupider than Prometheus, so you've got that to look forward to)
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:14 PM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:14 PM on October 21, 2021 [3 favorites]
Man, what a boring turd of a movie. Ridley Scott has done more damage to the Alien franchise than any of the other directors that proceeded/ followed him.
posted by hoodrich at 12:16 PM on October 21, 2021
posted by hoodrich at 12:16 PM on October 21, 2021
I think if they were going to tell the origin story of the Xenomorphs, tying them to the origin of Humanity (or rather, all life on earth) is at least an interesting way to do it. But the execution is so terrible. The only part I really liked is when they revive the Engineer hoping to get big answers and instead he immediately flips out, which is exactly what anyone would do when they discover an experiment has grown dangerously out of control.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:21 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:21 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Before this movie, my head-canon was that the aliens were a bio-engineered weapon created by some ancient extra-terrestrial equivalent to the W-Y Corporation but they did too good a job and their creation killed their creators and and possibly their whole civilization. Maybe the aliens have been around for millions of years randomly bumping into emerging civilizations and wiping them out and then going to sleep until someone else finds them.
posted by octothorpe at 1:28 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 1:28 PM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
>I also understand The Leftovers is uncharacteristically good.
The first season is terrible. Skippable, even. They do a complete tonal shift at the start of season two. It gets better the closer to the end you get. The final episode is brilliant, mostly due to the investment in the characters though.
>I honestly have no idea why people think highly of Damon Lindelof
If his name is near a script, avoid it. He should never be allowed near the sci-fi genre ever again, and I've been saying that for over a decade.
posted by Catblack at 1:58 PM on October 21, 2021
The first season is terrible. Skippable, even. They do a complete tonal shift at the start of season two. It gets better the closer to the end you get. The final episode is brilliant, mostly due to the investment in the characters though.
>I honestly have no idea why people think highly of Damon Lindelof
If his name is near a script, avoid it. He should never be allowed near the sci-fi genre ever again, and I've been saying that for over a decade.
posted by Catblack at 1:58 PM on October 21, 2021
IIRC, isn't there some scientist...
Prometheus is [marcelluswallace]pretty fucking far[/marcelluswallace] from a good movie, but I'll defend that aspect of it.
If, like Weyland, you put out an ad like this:
WANTED FOR HIRE:
Xenobiologists, archaeologists, mercenaries
Where are we going: Not gonna tell you
Why are we going: Not gonna tell you
What are we doing: Not gonna tell you
How long will we be gone: Years
You're going to get to be lucky if the xenobiologist you hire knows what a vertebra is and isn't actively trying to fuck the critters you find.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 2:48 PM on October 21, 2021 [7 favorites]
Prometheus is [marcelluswallace]pretty fucking far[/marcelluswallace] from a good movie, but I'll defend that aspect of it.
If, like Weyland, you put out an ad like this:
WANTED FOR HIRE:
Xenobiologists, archaeologists, mercenaries
Where are we going: Not gonna tell you
Why are we going: Not gonna tell you
What are we doing: Not gonna tell you
How long will we be gone: Years
You're going to get to be lucky if the xenobiologist you hire knows what a vertebra is and isn't actively trying to fuck the critters you find.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 2:48 PM on October 21, 2021 [7 favorites]
Yeah this movie has a lot wrong with it, but nothing ups the tension of the medtable alien extraction scene like trying not to shit your pants in a movie theater.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:28 PM on October 21, 2021
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:28 PM on October 21, 2021
You're going to get to be lucky if the xenobiologist you hire knows what a vertebra is and isn't actively trying to fuck the critters you find.
"So, how goes the SF Franchise Personnel Exchange Program?"
"Oh, about fifty-fifty."
"Oh? How so?
"Well, here's the latest exchange. Check out this evaluation."
"Hmm... wow. Those are amazing numbers. She seems to... wait, is that safety rating right? I've never seen one in double digits."
"Yep. Gets the job done, first contacts, surveys, biological and geological sampling, the whole bit, but is a stickler for following hazmat regulations. Not a single incident of her crew getting hit by a xenovirus and losing control of their emotions or possession by an incorporeal entity that feeds on hate. Even handles hostile contacts well with an instinctive grasp of tactics. Has a tendency to want to lead from the front, but the only people who mind that are bored redshirts with nothing to do but mop up. Some of them are even making plans for the holidays."
"I'll be damned."
"Yeah, she's already talking about applying to the Academy; she'll probably get fast-tracked, and we could see Captain Ripley in no time."
"OK, but what about the corresponding exchange officer?"
"Well. Ah. How do I put this. He--hey, don't..."
"What is this, a picture? Don't worry, I've seen it--YEE-HEEKERS WHAT THE HELL"
"Sorry, man. That's the, uh, incident report. First contact, didn't go well. Molecular acid."
"But it's... and he's... oh, wait, I think I've heard of this guy. He's got, I mean had, quite the reputation. I guess he, you know, felt like going for it, huh?"
"Boldly, even."
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:21 PM on October 21, 2021 [5 favorites]
"So, how goes the SF Franchise Personnel Exchange Program?"
"Oh, about fifty-fifty."
"Oh? How so?
"Well, here's the latest exchange. Check out this evaluation."
"Hmm... wow. Those are amazing numbers. She seems to... wait, is that safety rating right? I've never seen one in double digits."
"Yep. Gets the job done, first contacts, surveys, biological and geological sampling, the whole bit, but is a stickler for following hazmat regulations. Not a single incident of her crew getting hit by a xenovirus and losing control of their emotions or possession by an incorporeal entity that feeds on hate. Even handles hostile contacts well with an instinctive grasp of tactics. Has a tendency to want to lead from the front, but the only people who mind that are bored redshirts with nothing to do but mop up. Some of them are even making plans for the holidays."
"I'll be damned."
"Yeah, she's already talking about applying to the Academy; she'll probably get fast-tracked, and we could see Captain Ripley in no time."
"OK, but what about the corresponding exchange officer?"
"Well. Ah. How do I put this. He--hey, don't..."
"What is this, a picture? Don't worry, I've seen it--YEE-HEEKERS WHAT THE HELL"
"Sorry, man. That's the, uh, incident report. First contact, didn't go well. Molecular acid."
"But it's... and he's... oh, wait, I think I've heard of this guy. He's got, I mean had, quite the reputation. I guess he, you know, felt like going for it, huh?"
"Boldly, even."
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:21 PM on October 21, 2021 [5 favorites]
I hate it, and I hate the next one. Both films nothing more than playgrounds for Adam. I also hated the navigator. I also hated stupid characters not sending a drone to explore a planet before running around down there with their helmets off.
posted by Beholder at 8:43 PM on October 21, 2021
posted by Beholder at 8:43 PM on October 21, 2021
In fairness, the astronauts immediately taking off their helmets seems much less improbable in 2021 than it did in 2012. Who would be so stupid? Who indeed, my friends; who indeed.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:00 PM on October 21, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:00 PM on October 21, 2021 [5 favorites]
I'll never forget the lights coming up in theaters as it dawned on me that this was it, that was all we were getting: a terrible, stupid, waste of time, money, and talent.
And then the guy directly in front of me loudly opining, "Wow, that was so deep."
I will never understand other people.
posted by wakannai at 1:59 AM on October 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
And then the guy directly in front of me loudly opining, "Wow, that was so deep."
I will never understand other people.
posted by wakannai at 1:59 AM on October 22, 2021 [4 favorites]
This thread is so funny to read through. My husband is an Alien superfan and is so furious about Prometheus and Covenent that I can't even bring them up in conversation. but! I liked them! I thought they were fine! I'm a real sucker for a visually beautiful science fiction thing, and honestly, it's got Idris Elba. Idris Elba in space with cool looking mysterious planet ---> enough for me.
posted by something something at 6:44 AM on October 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by something something at 6:44 AM on October 22, 2021 [2 favorites]
I said it before and I'll say it again, find me a better movie with Idris Elba playing "Love the One You're With" on a concertina on his way to fuck Charlize Theron and we'll make that part of the Alien series, but until then I love this and can't recommend it to anyone
posted by uphc at 8:26 AM on October 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by uphc at 8:26 AM on October 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
Probably not that relevant, but is it possible that this film was previously posted by someone who wanted to scorched earth their MeFi participation, or have I misunderstood how that works?
(I liked some of the characters. It's a shame Charlize Theron's character never grasped the concept of turning right or left, as it might have saved her life.)
posted by Grangousier at 11:42 AM on October 22, 2021
(I liked some of the characters. It's a shame Charlize Theron's character never grasped the concept of turning right or left, as it might have saved her life.)
posted by Grangousier at 11:42 AM on October 22, 2021
Ah here's an- (the?) other Prometheus post on the blue, more specifically about the original script.
posted by fleacircus at 3:09 AM on October 23, 2021
posted by fleacircus at 3:09 AM on October 23, 2021
From the thread on the Blue: I've come to the conclusion that all of the problems in Alien/Aliens/Alien3 come down to the fact that people don't fucking listen to Ripley and do what she says.
The central message of the Alien movies is Always Listen to the Brunette.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:20 AM on October 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
The central message of the Alien movies is Always Listen to the Brunette.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:20 AM on October 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
fleacircus, that sure was an interesting thread; the middle video from the FPP is now private, and a lot of the thread is spent arguing about a completely different movie (Looper).
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:47 PM on October 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:47 PM on October 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
MetaFilter: A Lot Of The Thread Is Spent Arguing About a Completely Different Movie
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:32 AM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:32 AM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I love this problematic fave of a film. I also love this fan theory of Jesus being an engineer.
From the Engineers' perspective, so long as humans retained that notion of self-sacrifice as central, we weren't entirely beyond redemption. But we went and screwed it all up, and the film hints at when, if not why: the Engineers at the base died two thousand years ago. That suggests that the event that turned them against us and led to the huge piles of dead Engineers lying about was one and the same event. We did something very, very bad, and somehow the consequences of that dreadful act accompanied the Engineers back to LV-223 and massacred them.
>"I still haven't seen a defense of Prometheus that wasn't defending some version of Prometheus that didn't make it to the theaters."
I mean. That's fair.
I saw this film in theaters twice because if something is pretty and atmospheric I'll sit through it more than once, and the second time around I dragged my poor mother with me (who, in her youth, was dragged to a movie date of the original Alien by my father and at this point it's family tradition) and gently laid my hand on her arm when I knew something coming up would scare her. She saw through the tell and just got more nervous. She forgave me after.
posted by lesser weasel at 1:03 AM on October 27, 2021
From the Engineers' perspective, so long as humans retained that notion of self-sacrifice as central, we weren't entirely beyond redemption. But we went and screwed it all up, and the film hints at when, if not why: the Engineers at the base died two thousand years ago. That suggests that the event that turned them against us and led to the huge piles of dead Engineers lying about was one and the same event. We did something very, very bad, and somehow the consequences of that dreadful act accompanied the Engineers back to LV-223 and massacred them.
>"I still haven't seen a defense of Prometheus that wasn't defending some version of Prometheus that didn't make it to the theaters."
I mean. That's fair.
I saw this film in theaters twice because if something is pretty and atmospheric I'll sit through it more than once, and the second time around I dragged my poor mother with me (who, in her youth, was dragged to a movie date of the original Alien by my father and at this point it's family tradition) and gently laid my hand on her arm when I knew something coming up would scare her. She saw through the tell and just got more nervous. She forgave me after.
posted by lesser weasel at 1:03 AM on October 27, 2021
The Space Jesus idea is just so wrong, especially as a part of the Alien universe.
If you're writing in the Alien universe and you have to have some Engineers who created humanity, the way to deal with them is to go full lovecraft-style cosmic horror. Why did they make us? Because, from our point of view, they're insane. They made us because they're the amoral, insane servants of a blind idiot god dancing around the center of eternity. At some point, the dance included making us, and there's no better reason for us to be here.
Any explanation of our existence just proves its utter meaninglessness.
Twisting Sagan around, the Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. And all of that pales in comparison to the destruction done in service to that blind idiot god. All of the cruelty we inflict on each other is nothing compared to the cruelty those entities we couldn't ever understand inflict on us without caring or noticing that they've done it, without even caring enough to hate us.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:39 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
If you're writing in the Alien universe and you have to have some Engineers who created humanity, the way to deal with them is to go full lovecraft-style cosmic horror. Why did they make us? Because, from our point of view, they're insane. They made us because they're the amoral, insane servants of a blind idiot god dancing around the center of eternity. At some point, the dance included making us, and there's no better reason for us to be here.
Any explanation of our existence just proves its utter meaninglessness.
Twisting Sagan around, the Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. And all of that pales in comparison to the destruction done in service to that blind idiot god. All of the cruelty we inflict on each other is nothing compared to the cruelty those entities we couldn't ever understand inflict on us without caring or noticing that they've done it, without even caring enough to hate us.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:39 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
A problem with any theory about the Engineers is that in the movie, when they revive one, the dude turns into a bad slasher villain and the whole rest of the movie is a series of like obnoxiously stupid perils. At least they could have done some interesting things; a hyper-intelligent dude who wants to kill our group of stupid teenager scientists at Lake LV-XXX could be interesting and clever but it wasn't. A real fart joke of a third act. It's like a shaggy dog vaudeville act where the punchline is delivered a minute early and then the performers just go ra-cha-cha and dance around with canes and straw hats for awhile until they go offstage. Like, within a Marx brothers' movie, the Marx brothers would have made Prometheus, a truly repulsive offering.
Though really I'm still stuck on what is really the meaning of replacing, e.g. the field of eggs visual with a field full of jars full of ampules of destructively creative monsterficating nega-cum. Why does the revived Engineer kind of have the look of a Frankenstein, the modern Prometheus, in this movie Prometheus. Lucas gets shit for that "rhyming" quote but it's like the essence of Abrams/Lindelof style.
Because it is Lindelof, it makes me think this movie is more of a cultural continuation of LOST, a grand gesture at meaning, a ritual that is not itself art but which is meant to summon art. And like this Lindelof/Abrams idea, that this is how you do big scifi remakes: you make a mess of references, but all flipped around, and it doesn't mean anything. "What's an Alien movie got? Talkin' to revived heads? All right we'll do that, but this time it's not a robot head -- the robot's doin' it!" Just a horrible way of writing reboots/sequels/etc and Prometheus is like prototypical or something.
posted by fleacircus at 9:11 AM on October 27, 2021 [3 favorites]
Though really I'm still stuck on what is really the meaning of replacing, e.g. the field of eggs visual with a field full of jars full of ampules of destructively creative monsterficating nega-cum. Why does the revived Engineer kind of have the look of a Frankenstein, the modern Prometheus, in this movie Prometheus. Lucas gets shit for that "rhyming" quote but it's like the essence of Abrams/Lindelof style.
Because it is Lindelof, it makes me think this movie is more of a cultural continuation of LOST, a grand gesture at meaning, a ritual that is not itself art but which is meant to summon art. And like this Lindelof/Abrams idea, that this is how you do big scifi remakes: you make a mess of references, but all flipped around, and it doesn't mean anything. "What's an Alien movie got? Talkin' to revived heads? All right we'll do that, but this time it's not a robot head -- the robot's doin' it!" Just a horrible way of writing reboots/sequels/etc and Prometheus is like prototypical or something.
posted by fleacircus at 9:11 AM on October 27, 2021 [3 favorites]
A problem with any theory about the Engineers is that in the movie, when they revive one, the dude turns into a bad slasher villain
I was...kind of fine with the Engineer being like, who are you fucking pissant little beings coming into my home, breaking shit, and waking me up without permission to try to have a dumb-ass conversation about extending your lifespan? I don't know if that was thought out, but it felt appropriately brutal and nihilistic to me. "None of you are going to heaven--why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?"
posted by praemunire at 10:33 AM on October 27, 2021 [4 favorites]
I was...kind of fine with the Engineer being like, who are you fucking pissant little beings coming into my home, breaking shit, and waking me up without permission to try to have a dumb-ass conversation about extending your lifespan? I don't know if that was thought out, but it felt appropriately brutal and nihilistic to me. "None of you are going to heaven--why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?"
posted by praemunire at 10:33 AM on October 27, 2021 [4 favorites]
(Hell, I'll break opsec and admit that I wrote a story trying to make sense of many of the issues people are touching on here, plus some things that probably bothered only me, like how the hell they were able to decipher the Engineer script: the watery part of the world [NSFW].)
posted by praemunire at 10:38 AM on October 27, 2021
posted by praemunire at 10:38 AM on October 27, 2021
I was...kind of fine with the Engineer being like, who are you fucking pissant little beings coming into my home, breaking shit, and waking me up without permission to try to have a dumb-ass conversation about extending your lifespan?
Prometheus: Get The Hell Off MyLawnShip
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:35 PM on October 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
Prometheus: Get The Hell Off My
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:35 PM on October 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
I don't know if that was thought out, but it felt appropriately brutal and nihilistic to me. "None of you are going to heaven--why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?"
I don't really agree with "appropriately brutal"; why should it be so brutal and mindless. Like I think the idea is fine that the engineer would wake up and be something like, "You're the real xenomoprhsp!! I should probably exterminate you" or whatever -- but the execution is bad.
Even if the intent is a kind of jolting denial of sense, the idea that the search for meaning is pointless, that it's just monsters punching and wrestling each other all the way down/up -- I would kinda buy that, that almost works, but nevertheless how it was expressed was poorly done IMHO.
posted by fleacircus at 1:44 PM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
I don't really agree with "appropriately brutal"; why should it be so brutal and mindless. Like I think the idea is fine that the engineer would wake up and be something like, "You're the real xenomoprhsp!! I should probably exterminate you" or whatever -- but the execution is bad.
Even if the intent is a kind of jolting denial of sense, the idea that the search for meaning is pointless, that it's just monsters punching and wrestling each other all the way down/up -- I would kinda buy that, that almost works, but nevertheless how it was expressed was poorly done IMHO.
posted by fleacircus at 1:44 PM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
I don't really agree with "appropriately brutal"; why should it be so brutal and mindless.
Did you notice that the ship looking for God has an actual slave on it and no one even recognizes it.
posted by praemunire at 3:48 PM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Did you notice that the ship looking for God has an actual slave on it and no one even recognizes it.
posted by praemunire at 3:48 PM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
(But I mean, to the extent that you're arguing that this is being thought out more by the viewers than by the director of the movie, I can't argue with you!)
posted by praemunire at 3:50 PM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by praemunire at 3:50 PM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Damn, I knew I was the (near-)lone dissent on enjoying this movie in this thread, but going back through responses to compare I didn’t realize how contentious this silly film still was almost a decade after release.
It’s me, the bad-taste haver.
I actually really like the Space Jesus post I linked, mainly because overlaying the movie with the darker (more mythological?) themes of Christianity (and the rage of a creator-alien race of “how dare you wish to create without the appropriate sacrifice”) added to my post-viewing experience. David, the android, and Weylan, the human trying to cheat death, both heretical existences in this reading of the film, waking up an ancient being to ask them how to surpass humanity. The audacity. I loved it. Solid popcorn flick.
posted by lesser weasel at 4:20 PM on October 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
It’s me, the bad-taste haver.
I actually really like the Space Jesus post I linked, mainly because overlaying the movie with the darker (more mythological?) themes of Christianity (and the rage of a creator-alien race of “how dare you wish to create without the appropriate sacrifice”) added to my post-viewing experience. David, the android, and Weylan, the human trying to cheat death, both heretical existences in this reading of the film, waking up an ancient being to ask them how to surpass humanity. The audacity. I loved it. Solid popcorn flick.
posted by lesser weasel at 4:20 PM on October 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
Ridley Scott has done more damage to the Alien franchise than any of the other directors that proceeded/ followed him.
There's kind of a theme running through these two awful Prometheus movies about "what I create, I must also destroy!" so it's like life reflecting art in more ways than one. It's also why I was so leery about Blade Runner 2049 but thankfully that turned out to be spectacular.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:39 PM on October 31, 2021
There's kind of a theme running through these two awful Prometheus movies about "what I create, I must also destroy!" so it's like life reflecting art in more ways than one. It's also why I was so leery about Blade Runner 2049 but thankfully that turned out to be spectacular.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:39 PM on October 31, 2021
Oddly, just a couple of days ago I saw video of a demolition explosion bringing down a radio mast (?) and I noticed that we saw several of the workers running away from the toppling tower exactly in line with the spot it was falling. Dunno why I thought of that in a Prometheus thread.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:46 AM on October 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:46 AM on October 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
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I'm going to try to bow out of
saying anythingranting about this movie, here.posted by porpoise at 9:15 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]