Til Death Do Us Blart: Til Death Do Us Blart 2022

November 24, 2022 4:03 AM

Somehow, inexplicably, American Thanksgiving is here again, and so it's once again time for our five bold visionaries to view and discuss Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. But make no mistake - this year, things are different. This year, there is a mole. One of the five was chosen at random to watch Here Comes the Boom instead of PBMC2. The vibes get weird. Dig in.

Current hosts: Justin, Travis and Griffin McElroy, Tim Batt and Guy Montgomery

posted by EndsOfInvention (14 comments total)

Happy Blartsgiving everyone, glad to be here again with you all!

"7 Blarts and a Boom" is a great and underappreciated line and the mole intrigue really worked for me this year.

Maybe because they really didn't talk about the movie that much, I've been re-listening to old episodes all week, and I've only watched it once 8 years ago, I kinda sorta a little bit want to watch Paul Blart Mall Cop 2...
posted by slimepuppy at 5:02 AM on November 24, 2022 [1 favorite]

2015: This film sucks (Travis: I made a list of the 11 times I laughed).
2016: I remember this film being OK? No, this film SUCKS. Our partners refused to watch it with us. (Travis: I made a list of the 13 times I laughed).
2017: This film is actually pretty funny, also it syncs up with Dark Side Of The Moon (Travis: I made a list of the times Justin laughed).
2018: **Existential despair**
2019: HOW is this film is SO BA- wait, I think we've talked about this before. (Tim: I can only get through this film using hallucinogens).
2020: If good art is used in bad art, is the good art bad? And why is everyone walking around with guns??
2021: We can't bare to talk about the film any more so let's just have a meta-discussion about the podcast. (Travis: I laughed one time).

2022: For the love of god please let us talk about a different film! (Travis: I laughed zero times but my toddler found it hilarious).
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:44 AM on November 24, 2022 [4 favorites]

Is PB:MC2 a Thanksgiving movie in any other way than through the podcast's ritual?
posted by rhizome at 12:34 PM on November 24, 2022 [1 favorite]

On the strength of this post, I started listening to the first one, then actually paused to watch peebeetoo as requested, and... like they say off the top I didn't wholly hate it, but man, it was not good. But I'm looking forward to the podcast now!
posted by Shepherd at 4:17 PM on November 24, 2022 [3 favorites]

Is PB:MC2 a Thanksgiving movie in any other way than through the podcast's ritual?

I'm not American but this is not a Thanksgiving movie like Die Hard is a Christmas movie. I'm sure there will be a year where the theme of giving thanks will be uncovered by the gang but I don't personally feel like it's explicitly present.
posted by slimepuppy at 1:27 AM on November 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

I did watch PBMC2 a couple of years ago because I'd watched enough clips on Youtube and I just HAD TO KNOW what the full experience was like. Weirdly I don't really remember much about it. I'd say if you have nothing better to do and you're a big TDDUB fan then why not, otherwise you can catch the "highlights" on Youtube, eg:
- Banana
- Bird fight
- The Big Sticky Mess, A Grenade Launcher That Shoots GLUE FOAM
- Low blood sugar
posted by EndsOfInvention at 1:37 AM on November 25, 2022

AH and I just remembered, TDDUB 2020 is a watch-along commentary track so maybe the ideal way to watch it.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 1:38 AM on November 25, 2022

Favourite bits from this year:
- The initial mystery over who didn't watch it this year
- Looking down the barrel of time and realising they'll still be doing this when their kids are teenagers
- One of their little kids in the background: "no no no no no"
posted by EndsOfInvention at 1:51 AM on November 25, 2022 [2 favorites]

Because if I am gently stoned enough I will watch anything, I tried to watch it with Shepherd last night and wow, I have found a movie that weed does not make better.

I noped out thirty minutes in when it was clear the cannabis wasn't at least going to make this at least tolerable.

PBMC2 is the kind of movie that reminds there's a whole different America I do not engage with often.
posted by Kitteh at 5:48 AM on November 25, 2022 [4 favorites]

Oh oh! Shepherd did play me some parts of the podcast about this year's viewing and the comment about Neal McDonough's career just slayed me. A sick but accurate burn for one of my favourite Hey It's That Guy actors.
posted by Kitteh at 6:22 AM on November 25, 2022

There was a moment or two when I suspected they had ALL been told to watch the wrong movie and each thought they were the only one. Totally wish they’d done that now.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:37 AM on November 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

Ahaha that would have been good.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 9:45 AM on November 25, 2022 [1 favorite]

In all of human history, has there ever been a single pun that has caused more pain and suffering than "Till Death Do Us Blart?" A siren song that pulled five men into untold years of torment.
posted by straight at 12:11 PM on November 25, 2022 [3 favorites]

I have technically listened to 8 years of a podcast about a movie I have never (and will never) watch.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 12:57 AM on November 27, 2022 [2 favorites]